We are about twice a month usually. I’m mid twenties and he is late forties. Lockdown has left me completely uninspired sexually, though, so it’s been about six weeks since we last “did the deed”. I think I need to have independence to feel sexy and as I’ve been shielding, I’m just not feeling very myself in that way!
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
I would rather have a nice dinner and a can of Fanta.
You sound like us - but in our case I'm the one who could happily go all day, every day.
My husband has always been very affectionate and touchy-feely and prefers cuddling to sex! It was an issue in our relationship at the start because I was convinced that he just wasn't attracted to me.
We've figured out how to balance it out - I make an effort hold hands and hug him and he makes an effort to put out a couple of times a month.
My partner and i have been together for 6 years and have 2 kids, 3 and 8. In our late 40s. Haven't had sex for about a year. OH had cancer last year and we stopped around then. Also i find it painful and really dislike oral on me so dont do oral on him. When we first met i was much randier than him, over the years ive just given up.
Really sorry you feel that way - sex isn’t everything but I suppose for some people it is important, it might be worth speaking to your other half about it.well if you feel bad then I feel even worse, we haven’t done it for 7 months either but we don’t even have kidsI’m just not interested at all
I’ve never been interested in sex, I thought it was (ironically) because of the pill but I stopped taking it for a while and I still wasn’t interested
He’s always busy with work and does really long shifts so he’s tired a lot and I’m always really stressed with work. But he would do it all the time if he could. It breaks my heart really that I don’t give him it and if I’m honest I’m expecting him to leave me eventually because of it. I think about it a lot but I don’t know what to do because I can’t just make myself want it! I’m just not a sexual person at all and never have been. It’s psychological definitely, as I don’t have much confidence in myself.
Last time we did it was in December and before that it would have been months before. He’s just given up trying now. We are early 20s with no kids, sad isn’t it
Do you think the thought of it causes you to tense up and it’s therefore painful, or do you think the pain has caused such a negative association in your brain that you don’t want it? Because I bet if you wanted to, both instances would be able to be addressed by either physical therapy if it’s the pain causing the thoughts, or counselling if it’s the thoughts causing the pain.
Not saying you need to do this, as some people aren’t sexual and that’s totally okay.
Has anyone with a lower sex drive found any supplements that help? I have no interest in sex at all, and wondered about taking something that gives a libido boost
Ok real talk from me now lol...
Because I want to show that every relationship is different and people shouldn’t feel bad or compare themselves and their relationship!
My husband and I are in our 30s and have no kids. When we first met we would typically have sex every time we saw each other which was weekly, when I moved in with him initially it would be a couple of times a week, but I wouldn’t say either of us have insatiable sexual appetites.
A couple of years ago due to me having PCOS I started to get issues with my periods lasting for a long time and I have never wanted to do it while I’m on, and nor does he. So they were a good few months about two years ago where we couldn’t have actual penetrative sex for several months, partly because of the bleeding and partly because I was a total hormonal mess and just didn’t want to do it (i’ve had it looked into many times in the past and it’s related to my hormonal imbalances)
Without being smug, I will say that we have always had an extremely close and happy relationship and marriage, and I can say that a lack of sex from time to time has never affected our relationship. I often offer to satisfy my husband in other ways if we can’t do it LOL - and I do often
but sometimes he says the biggest turn on for him to see me turned on, and he feels guilty if he gets pleasure and I don’t.
Sex is great but it is not the be all and end all...when I was younger I was in an extremely “passionate” relationship with a guy where we had explosive sexual chemistry but then when it came to commitment he was severely lacking!
I would much rather be with my loving and committed husband in a secure marriage and have great, intimate sex a couple of times a month when we both feel like we want to do it, rather than with the ex I mentioned above.
It’s the love between you that will get you through the tough times, not your bonkability.
Because I want to show that every relationship is different and people shouldn’t feel bad or compare themselves and their relationship!
My husband and I are in our 30s and have no kids. When we first met we would typically have sex every time we saw each other which was weekly, when I moved in with him initially it would be a couple of times a week, but I wouldn’t say either of us have insatiable sexual appetites.
A couple of years ago due to me having PCOS I started to get issues with my periods lasting for a long time and I have never wanted to do it while I’m on, and nor does he. So they were a good few months about two years ago where we couldn’t have actual penetrative sex for several months, partly because of the bleeding and partly because I was a total hormonal mess and just didn’t want to do it (i’ve had it looked into many times in the past and it’s related to my hormonal imbalances)
Without being smug, I will say that we have always had an extremely close and happy relationship and marriage, and I can say that a lack of sex from time to time has never affected our relationship. I often offer to satisfy my husband in other ways if we can’t do it LOL - and I do often
but sometimes he says the biggest turn on for him to see me turned on, and he feels guilty if he gets pleasure and I don’t.Sex is great but it is not the be all and end all...when I was younger I was in an extremely “passionate” relationship with a guy where we had explosive sexual chemistry but then when it came to commitment he was severely lacking!
I would much rather be with my loving and committed husband in a secure marriage and have great, intimate sex a couple of times a month when we both feel like we want to do it, rather than with the ex I mentioned above.
It’s the love between you that will get you through the tough times, not your bonkability.
Have 4 children aged 5-9 and have sex once a week usually. Sometimes more, sometimes less but would say that's a steady average. If it goes over a couple of weeks we start to hate each other
Couple in mid/late 20’s no kids but 3 dogs (who really do affect your sex life) been together 4 years used to be at it like rabbits but now it’s maybe once every few months. More if we are on holiday, standard! We both wish it was more but tit time flies and before you know it another weeks passed!!!
Also my OH doesn’t do quickies and it drives me mad because sometimes if I’m really bloody horny I can’t cope with an hour long sesh coz I just want a wambamthankyoumaam quick session! So instead I just sort myself out on the sly! And if I’m not really horny then I’m the polar opposite and disgusted by the thought of anyone or anything touching me hormones are a crazy thing!
) been together 4 years used to be at it like rabbits but now it’s maybe once every few months. More if we are on holiday, standard! We both wish it was more but tit time flies and before you know it another weeks passed!!! Also my OH doesn’t do quickies and it drives me mad because sometimes if I’m really bloody horny I can’t cope with an hour long sesh coz I just want a wambamthankyoumaam quick session! So instead I just sort myself out on the sly! And if I’m not really horny then I’m the polar opposite and disgusted by the thought of anyone or anything touching me
hormones are a crazy thing!
I don’t think anything is normal.
When I first got with my boyfriend it was 1-3 times a day. Then after 2 years it went to every other day. Now we at 5 years it’s once a week but my partner puts it down to his antidepressants (he’s been on them a year). I would like sex every day but I guess there’s worse things. Happy other than that but hoping things will improve (not sure I can manage once a week long term)
When I first got with my boyfriend it was 1-3 times a day. Then after 2 years it went to every other day. Now we at 5 years it’s once a week but my partner puts it down to his antidepressants (he’s been on them a year). I would like sex every day but I guess there’s worse things. Happy other than that but hoping things will improve (not sure I can manage once a week long term)
Loving this thread I find it so interesting how everyone is different. Me and my partner been together 5 years, pre living together we used to spend weekends together so would do it usually twice then haha. After 18 months I got pregnant and once I got a bump he wasn’t as interested anymore (fair enough as I felt less attractive too but I wanted it sooo much more thanks to hormones ) I’ve always had a higher drive anyway. Moved in together just before baby, then once baby was 6 weeks old we went back to once a week sometimes more as I think we both missed that intimacy so much. Pretty much stayed at once a week although am now heavily pregnant again and think we’ve done it twice since lockdown started looking forward to not being pregnant anymore and feeling a bit more attractive again (ie being able to roll over without effort and not feel like such a whale )
) I’ve always had a higher drive anyway. Moved in together just before baby, then once baby was 6 weeks old we went back to once a week sometimes more as I think we both missed that intimacy so much. Pretty much stayed at once a week although am now heavily pregnant again and think we’ve done it twice since lockdown started looking forward to not being pregnant anymore and feeling a bit more attractive again (ie being able to roll over without effort and not feel like such a whale )Out of interest have you told your partner you would like it more and are you sure he’s put off by your bump?Loving this thread I find it so interesting how everyone is different. Me and my partner been together 5 years, pre living together we used to spend weekends together so would do it usually twice then haha. After 18 months I got pregnant and once I got a bump he wasn’t as interested anymore (fair enough as I felt less attractive too but I wanted it sooo much more thanks to hormones
Some men assume women just don’t want sex whilst pregnant.
Could it be miscommunication?
Its great that you can be open with eachother
Is it knowing the baby is in there that turns him off?
2 times a week here I’d say... we have three young kids and had children fairly soon in our relationship. Before kids it was once a day at least. My husband works long, long hours and is gone before we wake up and really tired at night. I think if he worked more normal hours we would do it more. He loves giving oral (sorry tmi) which I am very grateful for 
there has been times where we’ve done it less often and times where it picks up to 4/5 times a week. When I’m ovulating we can do it every day but we don’t have sex during my period. I do feel some responsibility to satisfy that urge for him, I think regular sex is an important part for our relationship at least.
there has been times where we’ve done it less often and times where it picks up to 4/5 times a week. When I’m ovulating we can do it every day but we don’t have sex during my period. I do feel some responsibility to satisfy that urge for him, I think regular sex is an important part for our relationship at least.I was the same when pregnant, wanted it so much more and my husband not so much. He used excuses the entirety of my pregnancy but I knew it was because he was put off by the bump (he’s admitted that’s what it was since having my daughter) so I do think it’s totally normal!Loving this thread I find it so interesting how everyone is different. Me and my partner been together 5 years, pre living together we used to spend weekends together so would do it usually twice then haha. After 18 months I got pregnant and once I got a bump he wasn’t as interested anymore (fair enough as I felt less attractive too but I wanted it sooo much more thanks to hormones
We’re both mid-late thirties and been together 3 years but don’t live together. We have sex everytime we see each other when I don’t have my kid with me so about twice on one night once a week currently. If we lived together it would probably slow down as that’s what happened with my ex where it could range from a couple of times a week to a couple of month with none.
I literally could have written this! So reassuring to know someone else is exactly like me
