How much sex is "normal" in a relationship

[Scorpihoe]

We have a long distance relationship, so aim to see each other every fortnight, where I usually stay the weekend at his. We do it about 3-4 times in a weekend, to get all the pent up energy out (then I spend the week recovering from the soreness...)

When we lived next door to each other (at uni), we did it about 3-4 times a week.

We are early 20’s, no kids, been together nearly 4 years

 

[Mulholland Drive]

My partner and I have been together since the new year, but we live separately. We used to have sex 8 or 9 times a week, but ever since this covid lockdown became a thing, that has dropped right down. And now that she has tested positive it could be another month before we get back on the horse, so to speak.

But quite frankly I don't think neither of us can be arsed anyway

 

[leapricot]

Not currently with someone but I have always put A LOT of importance in sex whilst being with someone.

In my 2 previous relationships, sex always ended up fading. In the first one, we were very compatibly sexually and being constantly rejected made me very miserable and sad and I think this is what made me leave eventually as we were not even sharing anything else anymore.
In my last relationship, we weren't compatible sexually at all and I wasn't bothered whether he was touching me or not but was still missing sex a lot (perhaps not with him oops ).

But because of this last experience, sex is becoming such a big part of me and I want it to be perfect in my next next relationship (meaning I want a great compatibility sex wise). Knowing me, I could let someone go just because sex was not the greatest. Is it bad?

I think I am having a hard time admitting that sex will eventually fade based on the replies of this thread.

 

[bunnyboo]

I don't live with my other half, we both still live at home (broke millennials in our twenties, what can I say)

But I spend Friday - Sunday in his place and usually we do it 2 - 4 times. Really depends on our moods (or hangovers lol)

 

[Zenchick101]

quaratined with mine right now, easily 4 times a week

 

[meg82]

Not currently with someone but I have always put A LOT of importance in sex whilst being with someone.

In my 2 previous relationships, sex always ended up fading. In the first one, we were very compatibly sexually and being constantly rejected made me very miserable and sad and I think this is what made me leave eventually as we were not even sharing anything else anymore.
In my last relationship, we weren't compatible sexually at all and I wasn't bothered whether he was touching me or not but was still missing sex a lot (perhaps not with him oops ).

But because of this last experience, sex is becoming such a big part of me and I want it to be perfect in my next next relationship (meaning I want a great compatibility sex wise). Knowing me, I could let someone go just because sex was not the greatest. Is it bad?

I think I am having a hard time admitting that sex will eventually fade based on the replies of this thread.

Sex will fade in a relationship from the initial buzz of finding a new partner but that doesn't mean it will fade into nothing either.

Like most, me and my man couldn't keep our hands off each other at the beginning and for probably the first year or so, but life events kept getting in the way of our relationship so it had to take a back seat and we haven't been able to get it back yet and I think it's starting to become a problem. This year was looking promising but then this sodding virus has ruined that.

I really want to improve my sex drive for a number of reasons, not just because the hubby wants it more than I do, I don't want to be a 30 something with a little to no sex drive.
I enjoy it when we do "get busy" but I'm rarely in the mood and even when I am it either doesn't last long enough to act on, it's bad timing or it seems too much effort. Is the effort thing bad?

Has anyone else felt like this and managed to get their sex drive back? If so, how did you do it and can you recommend anything to help? Books, sites, etc?

Maybe I should post this as a new thread but I'm too new, lockdown 2 brought out of being a lurker!

 

[Hbirdette]

Sex will fade in a relationship from the initial buzz of finding a new partner but that doesn't mean it will fade into nothing either.

Like most, me and my man couldn't keep our hands off each other at the beginning and for probably the first year or so, but life events kept getting in the way of our relationship so it had to take a back seat and we haven't been able to get it back yet and I think it's starting to become a problem. This year was looking promising but then this sodding virus has ruined that.

I really want to improve my sex drive for a number of reasons, not just because the hubby wants it more than I do, I don't want to be a 30 something with a little to no sex drive.
I enjoy it when we do "get busy" but I'm rarely in the mood and even when I am it either doesn't last long enough to act on, it's bad timing or it seems too much effort. Is the effort thing bad?

Has anyone else felt like this and managed to get their sex drive back? If so, how did you do it and can you recommend anything to help? Books, sites, etc?

Maybe I should post this as a new thread but I'm too new, lockdown 2 brought out of being a lurker!

Are you on any contraception at all? I had very little sex drive on the pill (I was on femodene) for about 10 years then when I came off last year it drastically improved. Obviously I’m not saying come off completely but maybe have a look at what you could be on?

 

[meg82]

Are you on any contraception at all? I had very little sex drive on the pill (I was on femodene) for about 10 years then when I came off last year it drastically improved. Obviously I’m not saying come off completely but maybe have a look at what you could be on?

Thanks for replying

No I'm not on any contraception, it has messed me up in the past so we work around my cycle by tracking periods, using condoms during "red" days and unprotected during "green" days.

We've got no kids either so the disruptions you hear about with parents isn't a factor either.

 

[Hbirdette]

Thanks for replying

No I'm not on any contraception, it has messed me up in the past so we work around my cycle by tracking periods, using condoms during "red" days and unprotected during "green" days.

We've got no kids either so the disruptions you hear about with parents isn't a factor either.

I wouldn’t worry about it too much! I was having a conversation with my friend about this the other day, sometimes we can have a “busy” week and then other times I couldn’t even tell you the last time we had sex! I think as long as you are happy in your relationship then that’s what’s the most important part

 

[Morequeries]

Once a week so 3 times a month but that all depends on your apertite and mood.

 

[meg82]

I wouldn’t worry about it too much! I was having a conversation with my friend about this the other day, sometimes we can have a “busy” week and then other times I couldn’t even tell you the last time we had sex! I think as long as you are happy in your relationship then that’s what’s the most important part

I think this is my issue though.

Whilst I'm not usually in the mood and as a result, not unhappy, I don't really want it to be that way at my age and I want to have a sex life that we're both happy with and I know it's out of whack ATM.

That make sense?

 

[Laur91]

For anyone saying they feel they’ve lost sex drive, I would suggest looking at your stress levels in the first instance. I know the only times that mine drops is when I’m particularly stressed or anxious, I lose almost all my drive entirely then. Stress can take it’s toll on our bodies and minds completely so might be worth thinking about along with others suggestions if you’re losing the drive!

 

[D_Wills]

Have spend a furloughed morning enjoying this thread!
At the beginning of the year me and my partner of 8 years separated. In the end we were having sex about 3 times a year and when we had it it was boring, predictable and just felt awkward. We were so close in other ways, truly best friends and I really loved him but the lack of sex seemed to work its way in to every argument and eventually we were both unhappy and split up. I've always had a low sex drive no matter who I've been with, would happily say I could go without sex for the rest of my life. Could just never be bothered with it.
Well this year I've met someone new and I am shocked by how much my sex drive has changed. Im aware its still early days but even in last relationships I've never been this bloody horny it helps that he is amazing in bed and absolutely worships me which makes me feel incredible. We're trying things I'd never have dreamed of and I'm absolutely loving this sexy little minx I've become

 

[Instabeg]

We both work from home, Friday lunch break sometimes depending what meetings we have it’s other days too. saves late nights anyways

We generally “go for a run”

 

[Lovegossip2020]

Sex will fade in a relationship from the initial buzz of finding a new partner but that doesn't mean it will fade into nothing either.

Like most, me and my man couldn't keep our hands off each other at the beginning and for probably the first year or so, but life events kept getting in the way of our relationship so it had to take a back seat and we haven't been able to get it back yet and I think it's starting to become a problem. This year was looking promising but then this sodding virus has ruined that.

I really want to improve my sex drive for a number of reasons, not just because the hubby wants it more than I do, I don't want to be a 30 something with a little to no sex drive.
I enjoy it when we do "get busy" but I'm rarely in the mood and even when I am it either doesn't last long enough to act on, it's bad timing or it seems too much effort. Is the effort thing bad?

Has anyone else felt like this and managed to get their sex drive back? If so, how did you do it and can you recommend anything to help? Books, sites, etc?

Maybe I should post this as a new thread but I'm too new, lockdown 2 brought out of being a lurker!

I feel you... me and my partner have been working from home since Feb and are in each others pockets 24-7 which isnt natural... I get horny in the day and often just please myself nowadays as we just have sex about once a month now which is embarrassing... when I mention to partner he mostly blames me and my periods and or hormones which doesn't help. We mostly sleep in separate bedrooms now

 

[McNuggets]

We’ve been together about 12 years. Two young children. Sex once a week I would say. Seems normal to me? Who knows.

 

[Lovegossip2020]

We’ve been together about 12 years. Two young children. Sex once a week I would say. Seems normal to me? Who knows.

I am pretty jealous of once a week as we have no children and manage once a month...

 

[Missgobby124]

We haven’t had sex yet, new in the relationship buttt I am quite a sexual person and feel happiest when my partner shows me affection, so I’d say 2/3 times a week.

sex is fun! Although it changes for me, sometimes before ovulation I want it every hour, sometimes before my period I want it everyday, sometimes I don’t want to be touched and feel as dry as a prune haha

 

[Brunette3232]

Usually every Sunday
Been together 18 years. Two pre teen children.

 

[Motherofpugs]

I’m typically a twice a week girl. Although TTC at the moment so around 4-6 times a week but 1-2 times a week is normal for us. We’ve been together for 12 years. I’d say we have pretty average drives? Although mine has increased since I had a miscarriage, probably hormones. I go off sex a lot when I’m pregnant though.