Honeymoon money as a present - how much would you give?

[Warpaint]

I normally give fancy wine.

If people didn't have such overly flashy weddings maybe they'd be able to afford their honeymoons.

 

[Cooksie]

When I was maid of honour I booked them a night away in a nice little spa hotel for a few months after the wedding after finding a good deal online! I spent less than my original idea of bunging £150 into a card and they were thrilled that after the build up of the wedding / honeymoon died down they still had something extra to look forward to! .. at least that’s what they told me anyway

 

[Tilly Kister]

Agreed!!! I had a “good friend” who had the snobbiest upbringing imaginable. She was wealthy and felt entitled to everything under the sun including wedding gifts. Instead of writing thank you cards she gave the bridesmaids canvas totes with the date of her wedding on it

"All brass and no class" my Gran would have called that.

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Money is a standard thing to give with irish events. Id give £50 max.

 

[Sheabutter]

I’m assuming you are paying for a lot of events related to being in the bridal party as well as the bridesmaid dress which you’re likely never to wear again… Take a look at how much you have spent already and factor that into your gift. Especially because she’s a best friend - don’t give more than you’re 100% comfortable giving and not receiving a thank you card for.

 

[Annecdote]

Someone I classed as a best friend got married in 2018. For context it was a small wedding abroad with only close family and friends. Me and my partner were invited and spent a few quid getting there etc. We gave £100 in a card before we went and I was happy with that.
Fast forward to 2019 another best friend (same friendship group) got married, again abroad. I got married last year, both of us didn’t even receive a card from the person we gave money to. I would rather have received a lovely card rather than nothing at all.

But to answer your question I’d give what you can afford with words in a card that mean something and if they’re you’re friend they wouldn’t even think twice about what someone gives.

 

[Lola UK]

I normally give £30, maybe £40/50 if it’s both my and my partner going. They can’t complain! I’m not made of money and going to peoples weddings normally costs a fortune what with outfits/ staying over night/ taxis etc

 

[Elles20]

Serious question and not getting at anyone, if the couple getting married have everything they need, so don’t want actual gifts, why would they ask for *money?
*assuming they haven’t said it’s towards a honeymoon.
Some friends of ours got married, they too said they had everything they needed and instead said if anyone really wanted to give them something then please would they donate that amount to a charity. I thought that was lovely.

I'm not married and haven't really given it much thought, but I think if I were to ask for money, it would be because there will always be people who give gifts regardless and I rather have money than some more wine glasses or another toaster, etc.

 

[Barbie2020]

There is too much pressure these days. I didn’t ask for anything on our invitations as we didn’t really expect anything and were just happy people wanted to come to the wedding during Covid. I’ve had a few invitations for weddings with tacky poems about money in and they make me cringe they really might as well just say give me money.

Even though we didn’t ask for anything we got loads of money and presents, I was shocked. Grateful but really wouldn’t have expected it. Give what you can afford. She doesn’t really deserve friends if she’s going to bitch about how much money people give her. There are way too many bridezillas who think the world revolves around them.

 

[Littlemisadoughnut]

I think I’m going to go with £100… she is my oldest friend but a huge snob (I say that only partially with love ) and does have a bit of a tendency to think she’s above me (gets it from her mother and trying to impress her well off fiancé!) I know in my heart of hearts that whatever I give probably won’t be enough, she does seem to look down on me and will assume my amount is tight no matter what it is glad the common consensus seems to be that will be enough! We are paying to travel to the destination, and myself and another bridesmaid split the cost of her hen do between us (was just us 3, was super small as in raging COVID times)

thank you so much for the advice! I’ll jump back on and let you know how she reacts…

 

[footylass2021]

I’ve asked for money as I have everything for a house that I could possibly need and I hate mismatch items. My wedding has cost under £2,500 for around 30 guests - we could have gone for a higher budget but thought what’s the point. All paid in full no borrowing money etc. If people have a problem with giving money just give us a card better than some tat we wouldn’t use

I was exactly like that - we’ve lived together for years - got everything we need . we had a honeymoon poem that asked if people would like to get us something , then something towards a honeymoon meal or a honeymoon event would be appreciated

regarding the MOH giving cash , we asked for nothing from the wedding party as they contributed other ways during the wedding journey but our best man and MOH kindly got us the wedding night accommodation

 

[rainbowlemon]

It would depend on how much I could honestly afford. I have friends who are WAY richer then me (eg one just spent 5k on her wedding dress) and I used to previously give expensive gifts because I felt like I had to keep up with them. Honestly it's only now after 6 years of knowing them that I know I don't have to be over the top. It's always the thought that counts.

I sent one printed photographs from her insta feed - she still loved it and it was total less than £5.
Another I sent a large bag of M&Ms and magic stars. £3.25
Third: flowers and chocolate buttons. Flowers were actually free because I had referral credit which I used and the chocolate was around £4.
Fourth: a single box of her fave chocolate .

Give what you can afford. It doesn't matter if it's even £10 and ignore what's expected of you.

 

[dotiedot]

A large sum is expected at Irish weddings isn't it? My brother's wife is Irish and I've been to a few weddings over there and from what I've seen it looks like €150-€200 is the sort of standard amount.

Yeah on average €100 per person, because its seen to be covering your meal cost plus an added gift. When I was maid of honour, myself and my partner gave €350. I know different places have different traditions though.

 

[Retro80s]

It depends, as she’s your best friend.

How much do you normally spend on gifts for each other for birthdays as an example?

 

[Lht30]

I went to a family members wedding in May I gave £50 and I also took a card with money inside from my mum. She never got a thank you and I regret giving £50 now.

That is sad. Similar happened to me at my brother's wedding. I did the brides makeup and gifted them money for their honeymoon, I didn't get a thank you for either and regardless of it being family I definitely regret gifting what I did, there's just no excuse for it.

 

[Happy35]

I usually give £50, I am happy to give money for something they want or a holiday rather than a present. I would usually spend the same amount on a present anyway.
I think most people now have what they need before they get married so have no need for actual wedding gifts. I honestly can’t remember the last time I bought an actual wedding present.

 

[Stimpii]

We’ve always given £50 for a close friend.

I HATE buying presents unless it’s something that’s been asked for so I’m quite happy to give money.

 

[HoGi]

I was maid of honour earlier this year. My husband and I gave a gift of £100

 

[DCICassieStuart]

Money is a standard thing to give with irish events. Id give £50 max.

A large sum is expected at Irish weddings isn't it? My brother's wife is Irish and I've been to a few weddings over there and from what I've seen it looks like €150-€200 is the sort of standard amount.

 

[rainbowlemon]

I think I’m going to go with £100… she is my oldest friend but a huge snob (I say that only partially with love ) and does have a bit of a tendency to think she’s above me (gets it from her mother and trying to impress her well off fiancé!) I know in my heart of hearts that whatever I give probably won’t be enough, she does seem to look down on me and will assume my amount is tight no matter what it is glad the common consensus seems to be that will be enough! We are paying to travel to the destination, and myself and another bridesmaid split the cost of her hen do between us (was just us 3, was super small as in raging COVID times)

thank you so much for the advice! I’ll jump back on and let you know how she reacts…

You really don't need friends who look down on you.

Why not half the amount and keep £50 to spend on yourself?