Honeymoon money as a present - how much would you give?

[FakeSmile]

Gift registries are becoming more obsolete now anyway because a lot of couples live together before the wedding so will have everything that they need for the home.

 

[gobblegobble95]

I'd have given you a gift, love. And it wouldn't have been "a bit of tat" as one poster here so charmingly described the standard of taste she expects of her own social circle. I would have taken great trouble to choose something which I knew you'd love and would want to keep for many years.

I'm sat here right now looking at some of my own wedding gifts. A lovely rosewood desktop writing set which my darling old Aunt proudly told everyone at the reception "Only cost ten quid at auction!" A pair of pewter candlesticks from my husband's Grandparents. They had received them for their own wedding over sixty years before. They weren't in a position to get a showy gift so they had given us something that was more precious than anything money could buy. I remember weeping in awe as we opened them, knowing how much they treasured those candlesticks and what their willingness to pass them onto us meant. It meant they had accepted me as one of their own.

My daughter now has a hand carved camphor laurel chest to store her linen in, which was given to us by my best friend from school days. She died of cancer 15 years ago but she's still here, caring for us, making sure our linens & blankets are safe from being eaten by moths and silverfish. Two crystal vases sit on the mantelpiece. They have held many blossoms over the years. Some of them purchased at posh florists and rather grand. But many more were bedraggled dandelions and nearly blown roses, picked by childish hands on rambles. Both the flowers and the vessels were given with much love and have long brightened our home with the light from it.

Will any of these people sit, in 20 or 30 years time, pointing to the pound notes they were so thirsty for and say "Oh that was from....and when she gave it, I knew I was loved."?

See your gifts were lovely and will stand the test of time . I have obsessive compulsive thoughts so the idea of having mismatched pieces make me physically sick - so yeah it’s tat to me. My family and friends who are coming to the wedding (we are having a small wedding due to COVID) understand and I’ve made it perfectly clear we don’t want physical gifts . My grandma has said she will get us vouchers for date days, my parents are gifting money for our honeymoon , my sister has said she will gift us a day trip whilst on our honeymoon. Friends have said they will gift money so we can extend our trip. To me memories are way more precious that a photo frame or some dinner plates that I wouldn’t use. If people hate giving money (it seems to be a old fashioned view) then we are more than happy with a card that’s sent with love.

 

[gobblegobble95]

She can't be too snobby if she's willing to beg for holiday spends because they've over extended themselves on the wedding costs.

Call me old fashioned but I don't give a damn how commonplace it's become to ask for money instead of wedding gifts. It's a rude, crude, crass and tacky thing to do. They'd be getting a toast rack or a set of candle sticks off me & if they didn't like it they could shove both the gift and the "friendship".

I’ve asked for money as I have everything for a house that I could possibly need and I hate mismatch items. My wedding has cost under £2,500 for around 30 guests - we could have gone for a higher budget but thought what’s the point. All paid in full no borrowing money etc. If people have a problem with giving money just give us a card better than some tat we wouldn’t use

 

[Geranium]

Serious question and not getting at anyone, if the couple getting married have everything they need, so don’t want actual gifts, why would they ask for *money?
*assuming they haven’t said it’s towards a honeymoon.
Some friends of ours got married, they too said they had everything they needed and instead said if anyone really wanted to give them something then please would they donate that amount to a charity. I thought that was lovely.

 

[FakeSmile]

I have no qualms in giving money or vouchers towards a honeymoon. I’d much rather give knowing that it’s to be enjoyed in some way. I do around £50 for a wedding.

To the poster with her writing set and candle sticks - I guess it’s own personal taste. I wouldn’t have known what to do with either of those gifts.

 

[bellinibobble]

I got a wedding invitation with a gift register recently and I actually thought that was tacky. They’ve already purchased two new houses since they’ve been together so I doubt it’s really things they need.

I agree! Of all the weddings I’ve been to recently, only one had a registry. The items on there were extortionate.. all plain white pasta bowls and bedding from the white company. I thought if they were buying it for themselves they’d go to IKEA like the rest of us.. to me that’s more annoying that £50 in an envelope and a nice card!

 

[Bleurghgram]

I got a wedding invitation with a gift register recently and I actually thought that was tacky. They’ve already purchased two new houses since they’ve been together so I doubt it’s really things they need. I like to gift experiences so I’d be tempted to get them a voucher for dinner at a local pub rather than cash.

 

[bellinibobble]

Honestly don’t think there’s anything wrong with giving cash for a wedding, so long as no twee poems are involved. Expensive gift registries are worse IMO.

We usually give £50 for friends I think

I’m getting married next year and as we’re having a destination wedding it will be no gifts (and I will mean it!!)

 

[Peaches_xox]

A few years ago my cousin got married. I was not part of the ‘bridal party’ as in bridesmaid or anything, but I attended her hen which was abroad and cost me about £600, I stayed in the hotel before and after her wedding as it was quite far which cost me another £200, and I gave £150 as a wedding present as they asked for money for the honeymoon.

Since the wedding I’ve heard from her about 3 times.. I feel like she used me to make up the numbers now and in future I’ll be more careful about what weddings I spend a lot of money on

 

[bellinibobble]

I’ll forever cry about the octopus shaped wine bottle holder I saw on a registry once.. gives me PTSD even now

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

A few years ago my cousin got married. I was not part of the ‘bridal party’ as in bridesmaid or anything, but I attended her hen which was abroad and cost me about £600, I stayed in the hotel before and after her wedding as it was quite far which cost me another £200, and I gave £150 as a wedding present as they asked for money for the honeymoon.

Since the wedding I’ve heard from her about 3 times.. I feel like she used me to make up the numbers now and in future I’ll be more careful about what weddings I spend a lot of money on

What is it with these people who expect you to fork out hundreds of pounds just to attend their wedding. Honestly some people want it all, the fancy wedding a hundred miles away from where anyone lives, a hen weekend abroad, honeymoon in the Maldives paid for by guests giving money etc. I couldn’t imagine asking guests to spend so much just to celebrate my wedding. When I eventually get married I probably won’t even have a hen do but that’s because I have no friends

 

[Suzesnooze]

Am I the only weirdo? I didn't mention gifts AT ALL on my invitations but told my inlaws and family to spread the word that no gifts were necessary, we just wanted people there.

Same. We had quite a small wedding and said we didn’t want gifts just happy they could come to the wedding which was on a week day so a lot of guests had to take the day off work.

But we did still get some gifts and some gave money because I don’t think they were comfortable coming empty handed.

I’m not a fan of when people ask for money towards their honeymoon etc. We didn’t even have a honeymoon! I’m also not a fan of people spending an absolute fortune on their wedding.

My friend got married a few years ago and asked for money and then moaned about the small amount most guests gave!

 

[Sheabutter]

[


You seem too nice to be her friend! Why waste your time on someone who looks down on you? That isn’t a good friend. I wouldn’t even give her a fiver.

Agreed!!! I had a “good friend” who had the snobbiest upbringing imaginable. She was wealthy and felt entitled to everything under the sun including wedding gifts. Instead of writing thank you cards she gave the bridesmaids canvas totes with the date of her wedding on it

 

[avabella]

I had a friend (and I use the term loosely) who not only put some crappy poem in her invites, but a PAYPAL link to send the money to!!!

Apologies for quoting myself but I've just remembered that this same person also had a gift registry and it had stuff like winter jackets on it LOL

 

[prozacprincess]

I don’t give anything but a card but then I’m a tight bitch who goes to weddings under duress

 

[Readread]

I personally would give £100 and do at most weddings I go to. But don't feel shamed if you can only afford £10, they will appreciate your presence at the wedding more than anything.

 

[Sheabutter]

I'd have given you a gift, love. And it wouldn't have been "a bit of tat" as one poster here so charmingly described the standard of taste she expects of her own social circle. I would have taken great trouble to choose something which I knew you'd love and would want to keep for many years.

I'm sat here right now looking at some of my own wedding gifts. A lovely rosewood desktop writing set which my darling old Aunt proudly told everyone at the reception "Only cost ten quid at auction!" A pair of pewter candlesticks from my husband's Grandparents. They had received them for their own wedding over sixty years before. They weren't in a position to get a showy gift so they had given us something that was more precious than anything money could buy. I remember weeping in awe as we opened them, knowing how much they treasured those candlesticks and what their willingness to pass them onto us meant. It meant they had accepted me as one of their own.

Call me old fashioned but I don't give a damn how commonplace it's become to ask for money instead of wedding gifts. It's a rude, crude, crass and tacky thing to do. They'd be getting a toast rack or a set of candle sticks off me & if they didn't like it they could shove both the gift and the "friendship".

I cannot

 

[Laurenia]

I would give £100 as a daytime guest and £50 as an evening guest.

I’d prefer to give a gift of money for a wedding. Most couples live together beforehand so have everything they need and everyone’s taste is so different. I wouldn’t want to turn up empty handed to a wedding where the couple were paying potentially £100+ per head for food and drinks etc.

I’m due to get married next year. I’m not particularly fussed about gifts or money, I’m just hoping it can go ahead and we can see all our loved ones and celebrate. If I had the choice though I’d probably choose cash and we could book some trips on our honeymoon we might not do otherwise.

 

[Scorpihoe]

I think asking for money is fine. Give whatever you can and I’m sure she’ll be grateful.

I wish I was ballsy enough to ask for just money would save me acting thrilled with random bits and bobs and I don’t need. Of course I’m grateful but when it’s something you really don’t need and you’re not sure what to do with, I’d rather have people save their money and get a card or just well wishes I think

 

[Sea]

£50 -£100 as very good friend.

Personally I don't like the wedding gift lists or requests for any presents but I suppose it's better than 10 toasters from Argoose...I do think honeymoon £ requests are tacky, that's just paying for someone's holiday.

It's quite enjoyable reading through the gift list and getting an insight into someone's taste or lack of.