Honeymoon money as a present - how much would you give?

[Littlemisadoughnut]

I am going to be maid of honour for my best friend soon. They want honeymoon money as a present. How much do you think is appropriate? She is a bit snobby! Also my husband is attending too if that influences decisions.
Thanks in advance for any pointers, I am awful with stuff like this!

 

[Pat the Dog]

I am going to be maid of honour for my best friend soon. They want honeymoon money as a present. How much do you think is appropriate? She is a bit snobby! Also my husband is attending too if that influences decisions.
Thanks in advance for any pointers, I am awful with stuff like this!

Where is the honeymoon? Cardiff, Cornwall, Corfu, Canada, Cayman Islands?

 

[Tilly Kister]

I am going to be maid of honour for my best friend soon. They want honeymoon money as a present. How much do you think is appropriate? She is a bit snobby! Also my husband is attending too if that influences decisions.
Thanks in advance for any pointers, I am awful with stuff like this!

She can't be too snobby if she's willing to beg for holiday spends because they've over extended themselves on the wedding costs.

Call me old fashioned but I don't give a damn how commonplace it's become to ask for money instead of wedding gifts. It's a rude, crude, crass and tacky thing to do. They'd be getting a toast rack or a set of candle sticks off me & if they didn't like it they could shove both the gift and the "friendship".

 

[Retro80s]

It depends, as she’s your best friend.

How much do you normally spend on gifts for each other for birthdays as an example?

 

[Sheabutter]

I’m assuming you are paying for a lot of events related to being in the bridal party as well as the bridesmaid dress which you’re likely never to wear again… Take a look at how much you have spent already and factor that into your gift. Especially because she’s a best friend - don’t give more than you’re 100% comfortable giving and not receiving a thank you card for.

 

[isabellalovescats]

I am going to be maid of honour for my best friend soon. They want honeymoon money as a present. How much do you think is appropriate? She is a bit snobby! Also my husband is attending too if that influences decisions.
Thanks in advance for any pointers, I am awful with stuff like this!

Why would anyone ask for honeymoon money from a maid of honour? I don’t get it! As a MoH, you’re already investing a lot of time, energy, and effort into her wedding. Are you comfortable with giving her what she asks for?

 

[Blue pumpkin]

Just give her the amount you would have spent in a present.

She's basically going begging...asking for charity.
Someone specifically asking for money as a gift is in no position to criticise the amount you give anyway. She should gratefully accept what is given just like a charity would. No donation too big or too small.

 

[2xblended]

Just give her the amount you would have spent in a present.

She should gratefully accept what is given

This. Exactly this.

 

[Melian]

What can you afford?

 

[DCICassieStuart]

She can't be too snobby if she's willing to beg for holiday spends because they've over extended themselves on the wedding costs.

Call me old fashioned but I don't give a damn how commonplace it's become to ask for money instead of wedding gifts. It's a rude, crude, crass and tacky thing to do. They'd be getting a toast rack or a set of candle sticks off me & if they didn't like it they could shove both the gift and the "friendship".

I completely agree. I got a wedding invitation a few years ago which stipulated "No gifts. Cash only". Not even a please! I didn't go to the wedding (not just because of this, I didn't particularly like the couple) and didn't give them anything either.
I found out afterwards that they'd invited almost 300 people purely in the hope of getting a huge amount of cash. Less than 80 people actually went

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

Just give what you can afford. I hate the pressure people feel to either give an expensive wedding present or to give more money than they usually would as a gift. If £10-20 is all you can afford then there’s nothing wrong with that, anyone who thinks that isn’t enough needs to give their head a wobble and realise it’s a gift and to be grateful. Personally I wouldn’t give more than £50 as a wedding present and even that is pushing it for me.

 

[StrawberryCream]

We attended a distant relatives wedding a few years ago where it was honeymoon money only and we gave them £30, I know that they got up to £500 from some people which I think is ridiculous

 

[HoGi]

I was maid of honour earlier this year. My husband and I gave a gift of £100

 

[derbyshiregirl]

This is a really tough one. We too asked our guests for money and that was only because of pressure from my husband, I too believe it’s a crass thing to do and I still wish we hadn’t done it.
It depends how much money you have invested in the wedding, have you planned the hen do? Had to buy your own dress/makeup? These are all things to take into consideration xxx

 

[Lht30]

It's not crass at all, many couples are living together before they get married these days and so don't need a gift list in it's traditional sense. Some views on here are out dated and old fashioned.

Whenever we've given money we have often done it as a friendship group, could you club together with other friends going to the wedding? The other thing you could do is once the honeymoon is booked is gift them vouchers for an experience while they are away, I bought a champagne afternoon tea for my friend and her husband while they were touring Scotland and in Edinburgh.

If those aren't possibilities, just because she has asked for money, it doesn't mean you have to do that, just buy a nice gift anyway.

Don't feel you have to spend a lot, these events do put unnecessary pressure on, spend what you can afford, we all have a snobby friends but you shouldn't be judged.

 

[DCICassieStuart]

It's not crass at all, many couples are living together before they get married these days and so don't need a gift list in it's traditional sense. Some views on here are out dated and old fashioned.

It's rude to point out that you want 'money only'. It puts a lot on pressure who may not be able to afford to give a large amount as a gift.

When we got married we didn't mention anything about gifts or cash (I imagine most couples don't) We were living together before we got married and I would say we probably got about 80% cash/20% gifts, and the gifts were mostly from older people.

I have no problem with giving money as a gift (it's what I always do) but I think it's rude to ask for it.

 

[gobblegobble95]

She can't be too snobby if she's willing to beg for holiday spends because they've over extended themselves on the wedding costs.

Call me old fashioned but I don't give a damn how commonplace it's become to ask for money instead of wedding gifts. It's a rude, crude, crass and tacky thing to do. They'd be getting a toast rack or a set of candle sticks off me & if they didn't like it they could shove both the gift and the "friendship".

I’ve asked for money as I have everything for a house that I could possibly need and I hate mismatch items. My wedding has cost under £2,500 for around 30 guests - we could have gone for a higher budget but thought what’s the point. All paid in full no borrowing money etc. If people have a problem with giving money just give us a card better than some tat we wouldn’t use

 

[bellinibobble]

Honestly don’t think there’s anything wrong with giving cash for a wedding, so long as no twee poems are involved. Expensive gift registries are worse IMO.

We usually give £50 for friends I think

I’m getting married next year and as we’re having a destination wedding it will be no gifts (and I will mean it!!)

 

[Lau123]

My friend got married a couple of years ago and asked for money towards a honeymoon. It was a second marriage for both of them and they have 5 children between them and have already been living together for years so have everything they could possibly need. We gave them £50 which they were over the moon with.

 

[Readread]

I personally would give £100 and do at most weddings I go to. But don't feel shamed if you can only afford £10, they will appreciate your presence at the wedding more than anything.