David Attenborough’s voice
‘Here we have a (not so) rare sighting of an out back berko beast, chilling in its natural swap like habitat. As you can see it likes to stare into hand held communication devices we call mobile phones while having a second device streaming itself to its victims, commonly know in such terrain as it’s prey.
The berko beast is distinguished by its frazzled straw like mane that can only be resembled to a toilet brush. The china left after a bull in a china shop has been in, is the only way to describe its teeth,chipped,missing & broken. And it’s vulgar mouth that’s more potty then a fisherman’s wife & barrel stool drunk’s mouth combined. At the minute it prohibits calmness, while it concocts its next plan against its prey. Usual types of preying include begging for a social media item that is called ‘a gift’ that translates to money for it to be able to live its life. The birko beasts comes in many forms and this particular one enjoys cross dressing and trying to identify as the female Species variant. It’s main diet includes sugar fuelled drinks and days old ‘lasagne’ which looks nothing more then cow pat on freshly cut grass. The beast also has a statement piece on its ankle we call a tag, this is to let other species know it is a dangerous animal and should keep well clear of. Its prey are somewhat blind to this and doesn’t proceed the beast with caution. At this present moment it’s calm chilled self in its environment actually resembles one of current mental health crisis and is going through a breakdown. The camera team find filming usually emotional due to scenes they see but in this case found it difficult due to the smell that fumigates the air from the beast. We would like to thank Minky for sponsoring us in a batch of pegs for our noses’