Personal Aide-de-camp to The Queen.
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I am an aussie also. No clue, but someone said H sulked till he got some gold braid also.
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what a weedy looking test of a cuntface that bleep looks. Like a bag of cunty weedy pale weedy cunty weedy pale weed. Sorry, had a shite day, and this rant is a direct result of that.(having said that, even without the shite day, all of the above sums up my feelings)
Iβm guessing Smegatron will use his 36th birthday to remind him that his mum was the same age when she died just to really turn the thumbscrews 
Yes definitely, fingers crossed. I wouldn't want the curse of Smeggy to affect anyone else.
More news from Meghan and Harryβs new boss, Netflix.
BREAKING NEWS: Cheer Jerry Harris, 21, is under FBI investigation
Cheerleader Jerry Harris, famed for his appearance on Netflix's Cheer, is being investigated by the FBI after he allegedly solicited sex and sexually explicit photos from minors.www.dailymail.co.uk
Yikes! Looks like JCMH got in a tangle with his braid!!!
Is this her way of saying "give your father his tea"?
/only one my first cup of coffee
Word on the street, ie my imagination, is that conversations in the Smeggy and KP households went like this:
Casa Smoggy Smeggy
TedX booker: Hello? Prince Harry? This is TedX. Would you be interested in participating in a conference? We're booking the good and great and the most influential speakers of our times.
Prince Harry (for it is he): Influential speakers? Good and great? Sounds terrific.
Her Smegness (wrestling the phone from Hazno by yanking his leg manacles): You clot. It's obviously me they want to talk to. Yes. I want US $1 million up front, in unmarked bills, deposited in my secret Swiss bank account. And I need to vet your sponsors to make sure that they will give me swag, erm, that they meet my exacting standards. Oh, and I get top billing. This Michelle Obama bint comes after, got it? And I need to ok the other speakers and...
Hello? Hello? Is anyone there?
Meanwhile, at Kensington Palace...
Tedx booker: Hello? Prince William, would you be interested in giving a talk at our next conference?
Prince William: Sure. Just let my secretary know the date and it will go into my calendar. I look forward to it. Thank you for asking me!
(Edited to remove an extra space)
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Someone had to rush out to the local market stall I mean haberdashery to by some gold sofa trim left over from the 80βs
Stall holders Rel and Drod said they thought they had some in a box of stuff with some funny looking clock
Yes there it was priced up at 40p a metre
Drel : this is pucker (good quality stuff )I can let you have it at Β£40 squids a metre
Madam says : βBargain at twice the price to stop the winging what Fredaβs says throwing a tantrum
Drill:
Drodders quick get out the rest of 100 metres price up at Β£50 quid a metre as worn by
HRH Haznobals soon to be Haznotiltle
Next year Drodders we will me milweion aires
I would just like to take this opportunity to say:
Loving the shade from Kensington Royal (the βfab 3β no Smeg) and the Royal family (hazza and Brenda, no Smeg ) 
Oh and Clarence House!
Oh and Clarence House!
For those without Instagram!
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Yes, just had a look on IG, absolutely fantastic coordination...all very happy photos of H, none with M. A very clear message I think
ETA: loads of comments on the choice of pictures, surely some from fellow Tattlers
and then some sugars 
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I donβt think Harry as smiled like that from the day snarkles put the leg chains on him
How lovely to see him happy without her in sight. I wouldn't be surprised if she releases a pic of her h and ArchieYes, just had a look on IG, absolutely fantastic coordination...all very happy photos of H, none with M. A very clear message I think
ETA: loads of comments on the choice of pictures, surely some from fellow Tattlers
Round of applause for Mystic Campagne - you called it right!
(Can you tell us what the cards say for their divorce date?)
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