but no way is the Queen going to be traipsing down to Frogmore to a birthday party for a child that is unlikely to be related to her.
Oh I dunno about thaaat.
Given that she has the special gadget that changes traffic lights wherever she goes, she could be travel, be there for 15minutes to meet Lidl, bit of tea & cake, couple of pics with the Gruesomes, then set off back home in time for Saturday afternoon racing on TV.
GreatGranny holds babyLidl firmly in one arm, making cooing noises & baby back chat to enchant the infant.
’Azza & Smeg, ever the proud merchandisers, wander off for a moment to gloat.
GG turns away to face waiting attendant accompanying her that very day, & murmurs ‘Now!’.
Said Loyal Liege whips out, from deep recesses of brocaded staff tabard, a DNA test kit & tears the packing open so that GG may take the sterile swab to gently swipe round Lidl’s delicate drooling rosebud lips. Lidl‘s spit soaked swab is carefully taken away by Loyal Liege for immediate analysis at the CSI Royalty pop-up lab discreetly parked near to FrogCott.
As Lidl gently slumbers in cot after her cuddle, GG approaches Aldi with a lollipop.
Loyal Liege steps forth to serve HMTQ with a fresh test kit.
Aldi drools at prospect of lollipop…