Thank you
You’ve highlighted the kind of thing I was talking about much better than I could
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You’ve highlighted the kind of thing I was talking about much better than I could
I'm very open but I can afford to be as I am retired.
I used to work in the NHS and I admit I would be a lot more discreet if I was still there.
I'm openly terfy with family, thankfully we all share the same views. In work I am not very outspoken about it but I will agree with those who are braver than me. The other day I was having a conversation with my (male) manager and misgendered (
) someone we were speaking about. I paused for a second as I don't know his views but he said 'oh no one gives a tit about that balls' (no joke intended I'm sure).
) someone we were speaking about. I paused for a second as I don't know his views but he said 'oh no one gives a tit about that balls' (no joke intended I'm sure).
Well, well, well- what do we have here? A Stonewell top 100 employer banning transwomen from female toilets?
Wonder why some of these links work and others don’t wouldn’t even work in 12ft ladder whoops
I’m archiving this link at the moment
Done
Barclays to bar trans women from using its female bathrooms | Barclay…
archived 30 Apr 2025 14:56:53 UTC
On the topic of being open - I’m open with my partner, and although she agrees with me in principle she borders on ‘be kind’ bla bla so I try to phrase things delicately in order to have productive conversations. She has only just come around to hearing me call TIMs men, without saying ‘’I know they are but it’s just rude to say it like that’’
To my family I say whatever I like - female relatives usually agree. My father does not. He’s a head and misogynist though, who would have guessed.
At work, absolutely not if I want to keep my job. My institution and sector as a whole are not only captured, but pretty much live, breathe and propagate the social justice stuff which the trans agenda has been folded into it. I’m a les in my 20s and my colleagues are also young and ‘queer’ (
), almost all TRAs with explicitly ‘kill terf’ vibes, including a very sinister TIM who I plan my work days to avoid. I have often wondered what would happen if I was to say something and be complained about. I’d say it was 50/50 whether I’d lose my job but my life would be so hellish in the meantime, it wouldn’t be worth showing up.
To my family I say whatever I like - female relatives usually agree. My father does not. He’s a head and misogynist though, who would have guessed.
At work, absolutely not if I want to keep my job. My institution and sector as a whole are not only captured, but pretty much live, breathe and propagate the social justice stuff which the trans agenda has been folded into it. I’m a les in my 20s and my colleagues are also young and ‘queer’ (
), almost all TRAs with explicitly ‘kill terf’ vibes, including a very sinister TIM who I plan my work days to avoid. I have often wondered what would happen if I was to say something and be complained about. I’d say it was 50/50 whether I’d lose my job but my life would be so hellish in the meantime, it wouldn’t be worth showing up.Also re friends… lots of TRAs including pro trans lesbians. Very smart people, but lots have absorbed this stuff literally as academia (gender studies degrees etc). I’ve actually decided recently that I’m willing to risk losing some friendships by being more and more honest. Will keep you all posted. Ha.
I have always called a spade a shovel it must be terrible having to work like that under more pressure than needed stay strongOn the topic of being open - I’m open with my partner, and although she agrees with me in principle she borders on ‘be kind’ bla bla so I try to phrase things delicately in order to have productive conversations. She has only just come around to hearing me call TIMs men, without saying ‘’I know they are but it’s just rude to say it like that’’
To my family I say whatever I like - female relatives usually agree. My father does not. He’s a head and misogynist though, who would have guessed.
At work, absolutely not if I want to keep my job. My institution and sector as a whole are not only captured, but pretty much live, breathe and propagate the social justice stuff which the trans agenda has been folded into it. I’m a les in my 20s and my colleagues are also young and ‘queer’ (
i’m very open with extended family, although nobody ever wants to discuss it - they just want to shut me up.
I also speak out if things come up when I’m with friends. My daughter had a friend round the other day who was referring to JoJo from celeb Big Brother ex partner as ‘they’ and I told her that I can’t believe that she was going along with that balls and she knows full well that the person is a les and a she.
I’ve also discussed it with a couple of people at the gym, both males who seemed completely oblivious even though one of them is gay. He really didn’t have a clue and then explained to both of them separately about Lia Thomas and the boxers and Caster Semenya, etc etc, and also the fact that we didn’t want AGP’s using our facilities. I’d been going on for years about Semenya and again my family didn’t want to discuss it! At least they had to acknowledge I was right about him being male.
If I still worked, I think I’d have got myself in trouble and I would’ve been very vocal about TiMs being allowed to use our loos if that was the case.
I also speak out if things come up when I’m with friends. My daughter had a friend round the other day who was referring to JoJo from celeb Big Brother ex partner as ‘they’ and I told her that I can’t believe that she was going along with that balls and she knows full well that the person is a les and a she.
I’ve also discussed it with a couple of people at the gym, both males who seemed completely oblivious even though one of them is gay. He really didn’t have a clue and then explained to both of them separately about Lia Thomas and the boxers and Caster Semenya, etc etc, and also the fact that we didn’t want AGP’s using our facilities. I’d been going on for years about Semenya and again my family didn’t want to discuss it! At least they had to acknowledge I was right about him being male.
If I still worked, I think I’d have got myself in trouble and I would’ve been very vocal about TiMs being allowed to use our loos if that was the case.
I've been a TERF for a few years but didn't really claim the description until fairly recently. I worked in university research for several years and as our university was on the Stonewall index, it wasn't really the place to discuss anything that wasn't the Stonewall idea of DEI..ie Trans rights Uber alles...
I kept my head down really and even accessed Tattle via Duck Duck Go as it doesn't track your internet history like Goggle does.
I've moved jobs now and feel a bit freeer to discuss with colleagues though there's only a few of them I trust and they are the ones that I know share my views.
My family is generally in agreement with me apart from my teenage daughter who says she's trans/gender fluid/non-binary (whatever that combo actually means!). She wants us to use he/they pronouns but I generally duck that that by refering to her by name. I'm trying to use the 'watchful waiting ' approach rather than going down the affirmative route. Mainly because I'm a scientist and I believe in true facts rather than try to 'be nice'.
She's been crying a lot after the SC ruling although I pointed out, trans people hadn't lost rights, and were still protected under the Equality act (those with a GRC only but I didn't make too much of that!). But she still thinks trans people are being horribly persecuted and she's scared by the ruling. I'm hoping it's just a phase she's going through as there's quite a few of her friends also trying to identify out of being a girl, all of them seem ND and/or non-hetereosexual . Those who say it's not a social contagion a really don't understand how teenagers' minds work
I suspect, and hope she'll just turn out to be normal les when she's gets older and not decide to mutaliate her body thinking she can become a man.
I kept my head down really and even accessed Tattle via Duck Duck Go as it doesn't track your internet history like Goggle does.
I've moved jobs now and feel a bit freeer to discuss with colleagues though there's only a few of them I trust and they are the ones that I know share my views.
My family is generally in agreement with me apart from my teenage daughter who says she's trans/gender fluid/non-binary (whatever that combo actually means!). She wants us to use he/they pronouns but I generally duck that that by refering to her by name. I'm trying to use the 'watchful waiting ' approach rather than going down the affirmative route. Mainly because I'm a scientist and I believe in true facts rather than try to 'be nice'.
She's been crying a lot after the SC ruling although I pointed out, trans people hadn't lost rights, and were still protected under the Equality act (those with a GRC only but I didn't make too much of that!). But she still thinks trans people are being horribly persecuted and she's scared by the ruling. I'm hoping it's just a phase she's going through as there's quite a few of her friends also trying to identify out of being a girl, all of them seem ND and/or non-hetereosexual . Those who say it's not a social contagion a really don't understand how teenagers' minds work
I suspect, and hope she'll just turn out to be normal les when she's gets older and not decide to mutaliate her body thinking she can become a man.
Do you think any of the self-styled lesbians who would date TW are in denial of being straight? I don't know if you saw it, but I recently mentioned someone I knew who had trauma around men and dated only TW while calling herself a man-hating les and I really think she's straight but can't accept it because of her trauma.
Saw one today in the wild. Well actually walking along a city street. Without a second glance - I only glimpsed him - there was no doubt in my mind. Built like a brick shithouse, very tall, long scraggly hair and receding hairline. If I encountered him in toilets or changing facilities I would feel intimidated due to his sheer size. I'm not going to lie, I'd be out of there very fast.
Just seen on the Secret Celeb gossip thread.
I am a Potter fan. I’m really in two minds on whether to boycott this whole thing and just rewatch the old films
Ah tit, did it work?
No not for me on iPad using safari but thank you any how.
I - a 32-year-old gay man - have some thoughts.
Admittedly, as a man, the issues gender identity causes do not affect me as I'm not the one affected by this (for example, I have no desire to ever set foot in a woman's bathroom, do not want to harm a woman or girl, and, sexually, have no romantic attraction to women or girls whatsoever, guys on gay dating sites etc who cross-dress I avoid because that does nothing for me, and I've never thought that I'm a woman, nor ever wanted to be one), so I apologise in advance if anything I've said here comes across as insensitive, contradictory or anything like that - I promise I'm not here to change anyone's minds, or to lecture anyone, but to learn from those this issue affects the most.
I don't know any trans people personally to my knowledge, nor of anyone who has ever suffered with their gender identity - again, to my knowledge. If ever that becomes the case, I would ultimately respect them and their preferred pronouns. I don't believe that every man who supports gender identity has an ulterior motive and wishes to harm women, nor do I think that all trans-identified men who use women's bathrooms want to harm women. I don't believe that 'woman' is a set of pre-conceived ideas, ideals and notions either, as every biological woman is different. But I'm slowly becoming aware that women cannot tell the difference between the trans-identified who wish to harm them, and those who don't.
I re-read JK Rowling's original manifesto, whatever you want to call it, that she wrote back in 2020, and one line keeps embedding itself in my head: "The current explosion of trans activism is urging a removal of almost all the robust systems through which candidates for sex reassignment were once required to pass." And I find that quite unsettling. Surely those 'robust systems' should remain in place, and any candidate for sex reassignment should undergo this over a number of years before being legally declared a woman, and GRCs should be issued only to those who have undergone sex reassignment surgery?
I'm ashamed to say that it's only now dawning on me that JKR was right all along - even if I vehemently disagree with the apparent mentality some have that Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson should show her blind loyalty and agree with everything she says/does because they starred in the movie adaptations of her books. All four people are fully-grown adults with minds of their own, capable of forming their own opinions.
Anyway, these are my (probably incoherent and contradictory) thoughts - but I promise I'm learning, and am open to any and all views/critique on this!
Admittedly, as a man, the issues gender identity causes do not affect me as I'm not the one affected by this (for example, I have no desire to ever set foot in a woman's bathroom, do not want to harm a woman or girl, and, sexually, have no romantic attraction to women or girls whatsoever, guys on gay dating sites etc who cross-dress I avoid because that does nothing for me, and I've never thought that I'm a woman, nor ever wanted to be one), so I apologise in advance if anything I've said here comes across as insensitive, contradictory or anything like that - I promise I'm not here to change anyone's minds, or to lecture anyone, but to learn from those this issue affects the most.
I don't know any trans people personally to my knowledge, nor of anyone who has ever suffered with their gender identity - again, to my knowledge. If ever that becomes the case, I would ultimately respect them and their preferred pronouns. I don't believe that every man who supports gender identity has an ulterior motive and wishes to harm women, nor do I think that all trans-identified men who use women's bathrooms want to harm women. I don't believe that 'woman' is a set of pre-conceived ideas, ideals and notions either, as every biological woman is different. But I'm slowly becoming aware that women cannot tell the difference between the trans-identified who wish to harm them, and those who don't.
I re-read JK Rowling's original manifesto, whatever you want to call it, that she wrote back in 2020, and one line keeps embedding itself in my head: "The current explosion of trans activism is urging a removal of almost all the robust systems through which candidates for sex reassignment were once required to pass." And I find that quite unsettling. Surely those 'robust systems' should remain in place, and any candidate for sex reassignment should undergo this over a number of years before being legally declared a woman, and GRCs should be issued only to those who have undergone sex reassignment surgery?
I'm ashamed to say that it's only now dawning on me that JKR was right all along - even if I vehemently disagree with the apparent mentality some have that Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson should show her blind loyalty and agree with everything she says/does because they starred in the movie adaptations of her books. All four people are fully-grown adults with minds of their own, capable of forming their own opinions.
Anyway, these are my (probably incoherent and contradictory) thoughts - but I promise I'm learning, and am open to any and all views/critique on this!
There's a lot there, what stood out to me was men not harming women in toilets. That might be the case, the biggest point for women is that we want privacy, we need it and deserve our own spaces without men in them. Just like men have had the luxury of not letting women into certain spaces since humanity began.
You've clearly never had to deal with a heavy period, it's something we have to put up with. The thought of a man in what is a private women's space while I'm urinating or dealing with anything else of private nature turns my stomach, no matter what his intentions are.
Good article in Private Eye - but they remained silent for too long.
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