Gender Discussion #85

[petitspois]

Hi everyone,

Reading this thread with great interest as usual. I have a question for you all. How open are you in public about your “TERF”/ common sense opinions?

I’m so worried I’d end up losing my job if I was honest about how I felt publicly or on Social Media.

The only people who really know I feel the way I do are my husband and best friend and one other friend (who all agree with me.)

I am completely and utterly out in my personal life now but not open in work as we have periodic 'restructures' and my work is captured. I am not proud about that but it is what it is. I am clear than I am always polite about and to individuals and always use their legal name but I never refer to a he as a she and so on. I make it clear that I feel this movement is harmful to all involved and someone's sex is a fact that cannot be changed. I stress that people should dress how they feel and challenge what our society feels it means to be male or female as opposed changing their gender or sex. I am clear I feel older men dressing up as women are displaying their fetish. I've had quite a bit of support. I never post on social media about anything anyway.

One thing I have changed is I tend to now make one point and leave it whereas I used to try to make all my points and get quite emotional.

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

Of course they're not! Pics have been shared to prove it.

If you like Thrush as a shop (and clearly someone does), my advice is to go on Etsy or notonthehighstreet. Plenty of independent artisan makers of scented bath bombs that won't give you a headache or try to correct your thoughtcrimes. Support small business.

Etsy happily sell 'kill Terfs' memorabilia so they can get to duck as well.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Etsy happily sell 'kill Terfs' memorabilia so they can get to duck as well.

I was looking for a Terf necklace recently and was shocked at what they allow to be sold on that tit site. Wankers.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Hi everyone,

Reading this thread with great interest as usual. I have a question for you all. How open are you in public about your “TERF”/ common sense opinions?

I’m so worried I’d end up losing my job if I was honest about how I felt publicly or on Social Media.

The only people who really know I feel the way I do are my husband and best friend and one other friend (who all agree with me.)

My very close friends and immediate family are aware that I'm GC, but I've only recently become more vocal about it. Luckily, they're all pretty much on board with my TERF views. My teen son, thank God, thinks it's all balls - I do have fears this could change if he goes to university though.

Sadly, I work in an industry that is utterly captured. One of my major clients identifies as non-binary. Much spouting of TWAW, TERFS are all far-right bigots, etc. I would say the majority of my colleagues and employees are deeply entrenched in this perspective. My social media feeds have been extremely depressing since the ruling, I've been drowning in virtue signalling muppets.

Like you, I wish I could share how I feel openly, but it would damage my business and many of my relationships. It makes me feel like a complete fraud and coward, as I'm generally a very assertive and outspoken woman. This, in turn, makes me even more frustrated and angry at this insidious, dangerous ideology.

 

[Rabbitweed]

My husband and immediate family know I'm GC, but that's it; tattle is the only place I feel comfortable being "out" about it.

 

[sunniva]

Went out for an iced coffee on my lunch break just now and walked past an overweight middle aged man who, clearly by the look of his huge fake bits and bad make up, was trans identified.

I think what gets me most is how humiliating it is for this to be reflected back to us ‘womanhood’. tit eyeliner, weird shaped porn boobs, shaved legs. I see it and think… wow… that’s really how you see me. As women we know this view of us is out there. It’s just sickening to see it materialised and be compelled to smile and be polite. And in a classic twist of logic, I’m assumed to be the misogynistic one if not. So called ‘transmisogyny’ is the biggest oxymoron I’ve come across.

 

[Mismatched Pegs]

Hi everyone,

Reading this thread with great interest as usual. I have a question for you all. How open are you in public about your “TERF”/ common sense opinions?

I’m so worried I’d end up losing my job if I was honest about how I felt publicly or on Social Media.

The only people who really know I feel the way I do are my husband and best friend and one other friend (who all agree with me.)

[TLDR I pick my audience]

I have to be a little bit careful. I work in an HR team so can't be quite as outspoken (rude) as I am in here. My boss knows and shares my views that sex is real and gender is nonsense but we're careful how we phrase this stuff outside of our safe space office.

I don't have a huge social circle because I'm not a fan of people and have to spend all day dealing with them at work. But of those I see regularly one is full on TERF, the other is a mini TERF but works in academia so is always very guarded and errs towards being kind to "genuine" trans. Of my oldest mates who I love dearly, one has a trans sibling so we've never discussed the issue - she's very clever and sensible but I would never say anything that may cause hurt to her or her family. A couple of times I feel that she's maybe tried to broach the subject in that way where you do when you're not sure that people share your terfery but I can't risk it in case I've misread the signals. With the others in that group we skirt around the issue (because of our other friend) I think they know where I stand but again it's not openly discussed. Other friends veer towards #bekind so I avoid - can't be arsed, we don't have deep and meaningful relationships but get on well and I enjoy their company.

Family are a mixed bag:
I have raised it with step mum and one sister. Both were holes. I avoid my sister because she's a twit. I've come to think less of my step mum over this. She posted about toilets recently and I pointed out all the women who benefit from single sex toilets. Her response was "have you ever been misgendered?" I said no but I have been sexually assaulted so appreciate that some women want spaces away from men. <<Absolute crickets in response to that>> So I know where she stands but I've lost all respect for her
Other sisters - one will be unaware of all this stuff and the other probably knows how I feel (her mother will have told her). She's lovely but not a great thinker so probably just thinks I'm mean. I'm not close to any of them.
Daughter identifies as NB *sigh* if we discuss it, it ends up in a fight. Always.
Husband is a hateful bigot and if I didn't have him I think I'd have gone genuinely insane over the issue by now.
Son is completely oblivious to literally everything, so I think has managed to avoid indoctrination, but even he can't have missed how things kick off between me and his sister so knows my views.

Sorry for the essay.

 

[Weebles Wobble]

Hi everyone,

Reading this thread with great interest as usual. I have a question for you all. How open are you in public about your “TERF”/ common sense opinions?

I’m so worried I’d end up losing my job if I was honest about how I felt publicly or on Social Media.

The only people who really know I feel the way I do are my husband and best friend and one other friend (who all agree with me.)

I'm retired and although I have social media I don't post a lot. None of my friends have posted anything about TWAW or GC either. All my close family are TERFs and friends have expressed GC views to me. Friends, however, tend to be mostly boomers like me. I've started to make a few gentle comments to see if acquaintances join in.

If I was still working I'd probably be surrounded by captured people and I would keep my head down as I would need to keep my job.

 

[The Wicked Lady]

I was looking for a Terf necklace recently and was shocked at what they allow to be sold on that tit site. Wankers.

I could give anyone a run for their money when it comes to swearing, but I hate the birthday cards that say things like 'Happy Birthday Mum, you c***' They even sell a watered down version in Sainsburys and Amazon/ Etsy have loads.
A judiciously chosen swear word is succinct and means that you don't have to labour your point, but who the hell buys these things?!
It also ties in with the dumbing down that we see in the workplace, the media, especially on TV. It's difficult to find a decent card these days when you have to wade through all the sweary rubbish.
Incidentally, I'm making my own thank you card this morning to send to FWS.

 

[Peachsquish]

This appeared in timehop

 

[Brian Butterfield]

A recent act of rebellion has been to start following and liking posts from gender-critical accounts on Facebook and Instagram. I know it's only small, but it still feels risky.

Maybe one day I'll feel brave enough to TERF it up out in the open proper.

I will say that when I first joined Tattle back in 2019, I was fully supportive of trans issues and would never have considered myself GC. This has slowly but surely changed over the last couple of years, and this thread, in particular, has been such a safe and informative space.

 

[nothanksbabes]

They can't make their minds up, apparently they "don't owe you feminity" either. I'm tattooed with a pixie cut & 50% of the time can't be bothered with make up. Times I've been mistaken for a man? 0.



But..... it's not a fetish.... what woman (real) would ever show someone their bits to prove their sex?! Again.... 0.

Their idea of supposed femininity is hilarious too, because the harder they try the more it highlights how male they look. I'd never even consciously noticed how physically different men and women are beyond the obvious until this lot started saying "you just can't tell", then you realise you really can tell. Necks, elbows, wrists, ankles, gait, skin texture, forehead shape, waist length, navel position, all this tit ie never given a second glance but is so clearly male when you see a TIM.

 

[Funny_bunny]

I’m openly GC with my work colleagues. Self employed and we’re all GC to a greater or lesser extent. However, I work under contract for the NHS so I’m not as open as I’d like to be, considering my local health boards attitude. If people bring up, “All this trans nonsense” I openly agree. Never had anyone say TWAW to me directly though. Got one friend who I suspect might be captured due to an ultra woke daughter but it’s never really come up.

 

[FeelingPrawny]

Oh god, my heart actually just sank because I believe I know this family if not, I know a family in an eerily similar situation who also moved to Scotland - I’d never made that

If the initials C C means something then yes. It's horrible to even think their are family's and parents who do this.

There is also another family I know, well the dad . Who's ex had attempted to trans the under 5 daughter. He thankfully now has full custody.

 

[Mugglewump]

Which one of you mean nazi bigots did this?

 

[Squittel]

If the initials C C means something then yes. It's horrible to even think their are family's and parents who do this.

There is also another family I know, well the dad . Who's ex had attempted to trans the under 5 daughter. He thankfully now has full custody.

My daughter went through a really short phase when she was about 4 where she said she wanted short hair.

Now, that’s not a problem in itself but she also played exclusively with “boy” toys and wanted to dress up as Batman rather than Batwoman and Cat Boy instead of Cat Woman etc.

As it turns out, the reason she wanted her hair short is because she has sensory issues and she hates the feeling of hair on her face. So we started putting her hair into a high pony tail with clips. Boom. She suddenly loved her long hair.

She’s now nearly 7 and still loves “boy” stuff but also loves the Spice Girls, rainbows and dancing.

Now imagine if I’d have run with that and had her hair cut short and started calling her Clive? How much would that have ducked her up?

I just don’t get these parents.

These parents that do this have much narrow minded views on gender. You can be a boyish girl or a girlish boy. Girls don’t have to play with dolls or wear pink. My daughter has literally never touched a doll in her life. That doesn’t make her any less female than her peers who love that stuff.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Which one of you mean nazi bigots did this?

We know JKR's going to get the blame no matter who did it. It's funny AF though.

 

[Mugglewump]

Hi everyone,

Reading this thread with great interest as usual. I have a question for you all. How open are you in public about your “TERF”/ common sense opinions?

I’m so worried I’d end up losing my job if I was honest about how I felt publicly or on Social Media.

The only people who really know I feel the way I do are my husband and best friend and one other friend (who all agree with me.)

I'm very out, it's all over my social media, I often wear clothing with Terfy slogans and I just don't care what people think.
I don't work though due to disability and when I first came out as gender critical I lost all of my real life friends.
It wasn't easy, but I wasn't stopping, I sought out every event I could get to and every online Terfy space, and it paid off.

 

[FeelingPrawny]

My daughter went through a really short phase when she was about 4 where she said she wanted short hair.

Now, that’s not a problem in itself but she also played exclusively with “boy” toys and wanted to dress up as Batman rather than Batwoman and Cat Boy instead of Cat Woman etc.

As it turns out, the reason she wanted her hair short is because she has sensory issues and she hates the feeling of hair on her face. So we started putting her hair into a high pony tail with clips. Boom. She suddenly loved her long hair.

She’s now nearly 7 and still loves “boy” stuff but also loves the Spice Girls, rainbows and dancing.

Now imagine if I’d have run with that and had her hair cut short and started calling her Clive? How much would that have ducked her up?

I just don’t get these parents.

It's virtually exactly that. The lovely adorable little girl born during covid times. Mum and dad split a year later, then the mum decided that the little girl would now be a boy. Cut all her hair off, made her only have 'boy clothing and toys' and refused to acknowledge that she was female. Told the preschool she was male and renamed her. The dad is a wonderful man, but now has the incrediblely difficult job of explaining to his very young daughter that playing with boys stuff doesn't mean you're a boy, you can like anything. Whilst letting her thrive into the individual she is. I don't get what makes a parent do it, apart from them gaining attention.

 

[ShopTilYouSlop]

In real life I don't bring it up (except with my husband, who is slowly grasping the issue, and my mother who is sympathetic to genuine trans people but still a terf. She doesn't want to read the Robert Galbraith books as she doesn't like violence but she periodically borrows them from the library to show her support). However, if it comes up, then if it's safe I'll be very polite in saying I have sympathy for trans people (because I have, for people with genuine dysphoria) but I don't think the answer is to give every man who says he feels like a woman full access to showers, changing rooms, grape crisis centres and les events. I've also corrected a few people who still think "intersex" is a thing.

I've had a few private, off the record, respectful conversations with trans allies too. They are good people really. They think they are protecting vulnerable people. Not a single one of them actually believes TWAW and all agreed you can't actually change sex. Reasons for sticking to it range from being a bit over-educated and not in touch with the material reality of what this actually means and just not being in touch with the idea of vulnerable or religious or traumatised women, to being totally captured - NHS worker who has been brainwashed and works with a very nice TW who has never made her feel unsafe. I was actually surprised at how angry she got when I tried to explain that women are vulnerable too and she can't consent for other women just because she does. She actually leaned forward and spat, "Well, I don't care!" It hung in the air for a moment and eventually I said, "Well, I do, and while you don't have to, that doesn't mean it isn't important." We just haven't mentioned it since. It's strange because she is very feminist in every other regard.

I hate to say it, but I really think that many people, including smart women, just have imbibed this idea that women are support humans and props and sometimes all it takes is framing it the right way. I think they are now so invested in the idea that supporting this makes them good people, after years of doing it, that they can't undo the indoctrination.