I - a 32-year-old gay man - have some thoughts.
Admittedly, as a man, the issues gender identity causes do not affect me as I'm not the one affected by this (for example, I have no desire to ever set foot in a woman's bathroom, do not want to harm a woman or girl, and, sexually, have no romantic attraction to women or girls whatsoever, guys on gay dating sites etc who cross-dress I avoid because that does nothing for me, and I've never thought that I'm a woman, nor ever wanted to be one), so I apologise in advance if anything I've said here comes across as insensitive, contradictory or anything like that - I promise I'm not here to change anyone's minds, or to lecture anyone, but to learn from those this issue affects the most.
I don't know any trans people personally to my knowledge, nor of anyone who has ever suffered with their gender identity - again, to my knowledge. If ever that becomes the case, I would ultimately respect them and their preferred pronouns. I don't believe that every man who supports gender identity has an ulterior motive and wishes to harm women, nor do I think that all trans-identified men who use women's bathrooms want to harm women. I don't believe that 'woman' is a set of pre-conceived ideas, ideals and notions either, as every biological woman is different. But I'm slowly becoming aware that women cannot tell the difference between the trans-identified who wish to harm them, and those who don't.
I re-read JK Rowling's original manifesto, whatever you want to call it, that she wrote back in 2020, and one line keeps embedding itself in my head: "The current explosion of trans activism is urging a removal of almost all the robust systems through which candidates for sex reassignment were once required to pass." And I find that quite unsettling. Surely those 'robust systems' should remain in place, and any candidate for sex reassignment should undergo this over a number of years before being legally declared a woman, and GRCs should be issued only to those who have undergone sex reassignment surgery?
I'm ashamed to say that it's only now dawning on me that JKR was right all along - even if I vehemently disagree with the apparent mentality some have that Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson should show her blind loyalty and agree with everything she says/does because they starred in the movie adaptations of her books. All four people are fully-grown adults with minds of their own, capable of forming their own opinions.
Anyway, these are my (probably incoherent and contradictory) thoughts - but I promise I'm learning, and am open to any and all views/critique on this!
Although public toilets are currently in the news, the issue is far wider. Men (claiming to be women) have pushed their way into many female-only spaces, such as
Hospital wards,
grape centres,
Women's prisons,
Women's shelters,
Giving same-sex, intimate care to a disabled woman,
Breast-feeding groups,
les groups.
Most of these are where women feel at their most vulnerable and want privacy and dignity. The company of other women can be a comfort at these times and give support.
Women are at a physical disadvantage to most men, and those that have suffered at the hands of men can be left traumatised and wish to avoid being in confined spaces with unknown men. Historically women have had to fight for these women-only spaces too.
There are, of course, many "good" men. Decent men. Men who can be trusted. But because there's no way of differentiating between these men and those who are violent or have fetishes a blanket ban exists to keep all men out.
Then there is privacy and dignity. Imagine a woman being admitted as an emergency to hospital and she's on her period. This actually happened to me and as I was concussed I wasn't thinking straight. I wasn't allowed to walk to the toilet and had to use a bedside commode, where I was assisted to change my pad by a nurse. Of course the curtains round my bed were drawn, but there's really very little privacy.
Imagine this happening to a young woman today, only there's a man in the next bed to her, and he has a period fetish. What is he going to overhear? What is he going to see - in my confused state, once I was allowed more movement I wasn't getting in and out of bed in a ladylike way! I was wearing a hospital gown and had no modesty at all. Would the woman leave blood on the sheets for him to see? The woman is unwittingly taking part in his sexual fetish without giving any consent to do so. In contrast a female patient is extremely unlikely to have such a fetish and far more likely to be understanding.
This is just one example of women needing privacy and dignity. And also just one example of male fetishes. Some men simply enjoy making women feeling uncomfortable by their presence. Others have a humiliation fetish and enjoy being forced to leave a female space. The list goes on. A fetish or a kink is fine
only when carried out in private between fully consenting adults.
Men, of course, also deserve their privacy and dignity and women claiming to be men shouldn't be in their spaces either. Gay men should be able to meet without women turning up saying they're gay men.
It applies to both sexes. The reason why we hear more about men trying to enter women-only spaces is because of the safety aspect - a woman is unlikely to be a physical threat to most men. But also, when we think about privacy and dignity, there's a lot more involved for women than for men, because of our reproductive system. Returning to public toilets, some have very little room. Do you think that a pregnant woman wants to squeeze herself past a man in order to wash her hands? Does a woman suffering a miscarriage want men around her? Even if these are decent men?
A Gender Recognition Certificate used to be extremely difficult to obtain and the vast majority of AGP men (Look it up if you don't know the term) were weeded out. It took many years and many interviews with professionals. As a result the number of men with a GRC were tiny and most women wouldn't encounter one in their lifetime.
The situation now is very different. Not only is a GRC is very easy to obtain, but many men are simply using the Trans umbrella to access women's spaces. Until very recently, you could simply say you were a woman and demand access to women's spaces. That's it.
The counter argument is that no man is going to go to the effort of pretending to be a woman just to attack women. Unfortunately it has happened. But is a man going to go to the effort of pretending to be a woman to satisfy a fetish? Of course he is.
Finally, although you say it doesn't directly affect you, it does affect young gay teenagers. There's a significant number of men who would, in time, realise that they're gay, thinking that they're women instead.
