Yeah, I'd say that's common knowledge given it's consistently one of the highest ranking search terms on porn sites. It's likely also the reason I've been cornered by creeps asking about my sex life on numerous occasions.can confirm that it's a popular fetish amongst straight men.
A lot of butch lesbians do get repeatedly asked when they're going to transition - this is a good video with some talking about the pressure they've felt (and one of those - the second one - interviewed later did transition)Can someone explain to me why the visibility of Lesbian Women has seemingly decreased?
I swear it wasn't so long ago that Lesbian Women were just as pervasive as Gay Men especially around the time SSM became law. IMHO the current TRA nonsense is erasing the presence of women in general but none more so than Lesbian Women.
Judging by what I read it almost looks wrong for a women to just be lesbian and not trans (which I find repugnant).
Lesbian have always struggled for a voice and representation within the LGBT+ community, its just now its becoming disheartening to see so few of them.
from what i understand, many of them transition or are reffered as queer womenCan someone explain to me why the visibility of Lesbian Women has seemingly decreased?
I swear it wasn't so long ago that Lesbian Women were just as pervasive as Gay Men especially around the time SSM became law. IMHO the current TRA nonsense is erasing the presence of women in general but none more so than Lesbian Women.
Judging by what I read it almost looks wrong for a women to just be lesbian and not trans (which I find repugnant).
Lesbian have always struggled for a voice and representation within the LGBT+ community, its just now its becoming disheartening to see so few of them.
That video really nails the problem with the current situation, its almost as if its not ok to be a Lesbian woman anymore!A lot of butch lesbians do get repeatedly asked when they're going to transition - this is a good video with some talking about the pressure they've felt (and one of those interviewed later did transition)
I think for some younger ones being a lesbian just isn't seen as 'nice' and 'kind' and 'inclusive.' People these days still think that lesbianism is inherently man-hating as opposed to women-loving, and there is (at least online) a lot of people who assume that if someone 'identifies as a lesbian' then that means they're being openly transphobic by saying so unless they make it a point to talk about how sexy they find transwomen at every given opportunity.
If they're in your teens/20s and surrounded by that type of peer group then I can see why some lesbians would want to pretend to be bi/pan/queer and 'coincidentally' only date women rather than say that they're lesbians and constantly hear "What about trans people? are you a TERF? Why do you hate men?" questions all the time.
I agree. I'm currently interested in this girl I've known for a while and lately we've been having quite open conversations about our feelings towards the "community" nowadays. To my pleasant surprise, she had the same views as me. Being a woman attracted to other women is now almost looked upon like it's at the bottom of the list of priority for rights/voices. I have been shut down a lot over the years, hence why I don't really speak about my own story to other LGBT people through fear I'll just be fobbed off "you've not had it as hard as me"/"people are more accepting of gay women/bisexual women so you've got the easy life"Can someone explain to me why the visibility of Lesbian Women has seemingly decreased?
I swear it wasn't so long ago that Lesbian Women were just as pervasive as Gay Men especially around the time SSM became law. IMHO the current TRA nonsense is erasing the presence of women in general but none more so than Lesbian Women.
Judging by what I read it almost looks wrong for a women to just be lesbian and not trans (which I find repugnant).
Lesbian have always struggled for a voice and representation within the LGBT+ community, its just now its becoming disheartening to see so few of them.
Why?from what i understand, many of them transition or are reffered as queer women
I do think more and more LGB people are waking up now the more that they see how institutions like Stonewall and THT are more than willing to throw gay men under the bus to appease trans (and heterosexual queer) people.Why?
Its ok to be a Lesbian and love women, just as much as its ok for me to love men (I think I sound like a whore when I say that, but I'll run with it).
It pisses me off that we've ended up this way and common sense seems to have lost its place.
I am also unwilling to describe myself as 'queer.' I think that it erases L, G and B people - each letter (and each sex in the case of the B) have both shared struggles but also have different struggles to each other. Queer feels like it is saying everyone has the same experiences and it also includes people such as (heterosexual) 'demisexuals' and 'sapiosexuals' which I don't consider myself to have anything in common with.I know it's been mentioned before, but I hate the term "queer". I would never, ever describe myself like this, but for the purpose of this discussion I'm 'a bisexual ciswoman'. I've had very serious relationships, considering marriage etc, with both men and women, but I do not consider myself as "queer", I'm bisexual. That's it.
Your experience makes me FUCKING angry. I agree with what you said and in equal measure find it disgraceful and disgusting the treatment you have had (by LGBT people and Men). The thing for me I have always found the company of Lesbian women more tolerant and accepting, and thats as a gay man. I've never been able to explain that, but then I've never questioned it either. Most of my friends are male and straight, I don't live a life of gay adornment.I agree. I'm currently interested in this girl I've known for a while and lately we've been having quite open conversations about our feelings towards the "community" nowadays. To my pleasant surprise, she had the same views as me. Being a woman attracted to other women is now almost looked upon like it's at the bottom of the list of priority for rights/voices. I have been shut down a lot over the years, hence why I don't really speak about my own story to other LGBT people through fear I'll just be fobbed off "you've not had it as hard as me"/"people are more accepting of gay women/bisexual women so you've got the easy life"
No...its not always easy. I still feel "wrong" sometimes, it's hard to explain but from a young age I've always had it drilled into me I should be with a man/the correct path to take etc. For this reason, I've always felt like there was something "wrong" with me and I was a very shy and quiet teenager until I turned 16, left school, and met other wlw. It was only then I felt accepted in any meaningful way. I also feel afraid to tell men, because I've had some quite vile comments made before "you've just not had the right p*nis yet" "I can change you" "can I join in with you and your girlfriend" yes it can be funny, I wouldn't say I'm easily offended but when it's constant, it gets tiring and feels like I'm just a joke. Sometimes it can be scary, depending on the tone/body language from certain men, they can get quite aggressive and wound up if I say no. Then again, I'm sure most of us have experienced that, straight or not.
Sorry for the long post but yes, I do often feel silenced and like I've not been through "enough" to feel marginalised/left out. But I have...and I'll always try and be a voice for women like me.
Queer has a different meaning where I come from in the NE, its still used with its original meaning to this day.I know it's been mentioned before, but I hate the term "queer". I would never, ever describe myself like this, but for the purpose of this discussion I'm 'a bisexual ciswoman'. I've had very serious relationships, considering marriage etc, with both men and women, but I do not consider myself as "queer", I'm bisexual. That's it.
I know someone from work who has (seemingly all of a sudden, I've mentioned her before) identified as queer and non binary and knows I'm a bisexual woman.I am also unwilling to describe myself as 'queer.' I think that it erases L, G and B people - each letter (and each sex in the case of the B) have both shared struggles but also have different struggles to each other. Queer feels like it is saying everyone has the same experiences and it also includes people such as (heterosexual) 'demisexuals' and 'sapiosexuals' which I don't consider myself to have anything in common with.
If someone LGB wants to call themselves queer then I'll call them that but for myself it's a no-go.
Are you friends outside of work? If not maybe say that you'd rather not talk about your sexuality during work hours? If you're friendly outside of work then that's trickier.I know someone from work who has (seemingly all of a sudden, I've mentioned her before) identified as queer and non binary and knows I'm a bisexual woman.
I don't know how to bring up with her that don't like being referred to as queer and that I find it offensive. She always says things like "yeah, I just find everyone attractive. I don't care what's between your legs". Real lowest common denominator shit. It's stuff like this that means I KNOW she's far from bi. Who the fuck talks like that?
You have a right to define yourself, so tell her! If she doesn't like it she can fuck off. I'm past the point of being nice to people these days, they have the right to define themselves but not the right to define (you or) me. I'm same sex attracted, as much as the LGBT group in work has tried to change it to "same gender". So I've told them, you do you and I do me, I refuse to be called queer too. They have this bullshit encouraging staff to put their pronouns in email signatures, just like the notion of a safe space in work....its a load of bollox.I know someone from work who has (seemingly all of a sudden, I've mentioned her before) identified as queer and non binary and knows I'm a bisexual woman.
I don't know how to bring up with her that don't like being referred to as queer and that I find it offensive. She always says things like "yeah, I just find everyone attractive. I don't care what's between your legs". Real lowest common denominator shit. It's stuff like this that means I KNOW she's far from bi. Who the fuck talks like that?
I was on a a social history course at uni, there was a block of content called "queer history" or words that effect. I was asked why I skipped it, I told them that term is very offensive used in that context to many millenials and those that came before. It got to a point where I told them if there is a question on the exam about this stuff I wouldn't show up, there never was thankfully. When I was at uni it was left wing, but they entertained discussion of different view points, nowadays its indoctrination.A couple of years ago I was on an archivist listserv. Someone (fairly young, I think 20s) wanted to do a gay oral history project and couldn't work out why they couldn't find older gay or bi men willing to take part. Someone very gently explained to her that the project (which was focused on gay/bi men rather than LGBT+ as a whole) used the word 'queer' in the title and that it would be upsetting for a large portion of the demographic she was trying to interview and would bring up a lot of awful memories.
...she then got really annoyed, said that 'queer' was the proper, inclusive term, that she wasn't willing to change it, that people should accept the name of the project, and stormed out of the discussion. It's a shame, oral/video history focused on older LGB people are wonderful projects.
Thanks to covid I've had time to observe this on social media. The general gist of it is that lesbians is being redefined as same gender attraction, and that lesbians need to accept transwomen and be open to male genetalia. Since TWAW then the dick they have is a girl/feminine dick and lesbians like girls/women so... yeah. Any lesbian sub reddits except porn ones for straight men have been completely banned or taken over by transwomen and their love of their girlcock.Why?
Its ok to be a Lesbian and love women, just as much as its ok for me to love men (I think I sound like a whore when I say that, but I'll run with it).
It pisses me off that we've ended up this way and common sense seems to have lost its place.
Yup, I've spoken before about how I didn't even know other lesbians existed (due to section 28 and living in a tiny rural village) until I was a teenager. That was only 20 years ago.@AnderbeauJohnson @Aye Up thank you both for your lovely replies to me.
I really do think that there is a generation gap with how gay, lesbian and bisexual people are talked about and I think that's part of the problem. Lots of young (<25 year old) people don't seem to realise just how stigmatised homosexuality is/was in living memory. Christ. I got kicked out of my parents house for being in a same sex relationship in 2013. I think it's great how far we've come, but there's a lot of erasure and ignorance out there.
Sorry for derailing.
Oh jesus don't apologise, its very much an important part of the topic of this thread.@AnderbeauJohnson @Aye Up thank you both for your lovely replies to me.
I really do think that there is a generation gap with how gay, lesbian and bisexual people are talked about and I think that's part of the problem. Lots of young (<25 year old) people don't seem to realise just how stigmatised homosexuality is/was in living memory. Christ. I got kicked out of my parents house for being in a same sex relationship in 2013. I think it's great how far we've come, but there's a lot of erasure and ignorance out there.
Sorry for derailing.
Thats what gets me, who gave them the right to do that?Thanks to covid I've had time to observe this on social media. The general gist of it is that lesbians is being redefined as same gender attraction, and that lesbians need to accept transwomen and be open to male genetalia. Since TWAW then the dick they have is a girl/feminine dick and lesbians like girls/women so... yeah. Any lesbian sub reddits except porn ones for straight men have been completely banned or taken over by transwomen and their love of their girlcock.
EXACTLY!Yup, I've spoken before about how I didn't even know other lesbians existed (due to section 28 and living in a tiny rural village) until I was a teenager. That was only 20 years ago.
Seeing companies and the more left-wing media outlets (both newspapers and magazines) increasingly obsessively pander to trans people, I think there will come a time when they have to decide if they want to be viewed as homophobic or transphobic and I think most would rather be viewed as homophobic (edit - used the wrong word). Then, once homophobia becomes 'in vogue' again I think younger LGB people will start to realise what's happened.
I really do feel for people older than me, those who fought tooth and nail so that they, and us who came after them, could have the right to be who we are. Now they see it being thrown away.
Its like some reclaiming the N word......it sounds just as repugnant no matter whose mouth its coming out of.I'll be honest as a straight person, I was having a twitter argument with someone (think it was a TRA) and I typed out the word queer bc they'd been using it and then deleted it straight away bc it felt so wrong. I'm not keen on the practise of reclaiming slurs in general and it always feels uncomfortable to me when people describe themselves using a slur.
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