Gender Discussion #20

Libertine1975 · Jan 20, 2022

To be fair a few years ago I broke down on the motorway late in the evening and the AA came out to me pretty quickly. Obviously they advised that I stand behind the crash barrier at the side of the road and I did for about 10 minutes but was totally freaked out as it was getting dark so I sat in the car, doors locked with my seat belt on.

I know the risk being at the side of the motorway of being attacked is low but I have been conditioned by society to be scared and wary of attack. I'd rather be sat in my locked car with a risk of being crashed into than stand by a field in the dark.

thegirlscout · Jan 20, 2022

Blond3g1rl said:
The AA have realised they have fucked up

People are calling him out because what he said makes no sense. He as head of the AA is allowed to say this on social media but his employees aren’t allowed to and neither does his employees in the call centre?

Libertine1975 said:
I know the risk being at the side of the motorway of being attacked is low

Sadly there was a case a few years ago of a pregnant woman who was stabbed to death after breaking down on the motorway - Marie Wilks. Like you say the risk is low but women don’t want to take the risk and we shouldn’t have to.

emmer_moans · Jan 20, 2022

thegirlscout said:
People are calling him out because what he said makes no sense. He as head of the AA is allowed to say this on social media but his employees aren’t allowed to and neither does his employees in the call centre?

Sadly there was a case a few years ago of a pregnant woman who was stabbed to death after breaking down on the motorway - Marie Wilks. Like you say the risk is low but women don’t want to take the risk and we shouldn’t have to.

My God. I haven't thought about breaking down on the motorway and sometimes my phone battery isn't charged enough to last several hours I really ought to make sure it's fully charged when out. The things we have to think of. Tempted to have a baseball bat in the boot of the car too

Clover123 · Jan 20, 2022

emmer_moans said:
My God. I haven't thought about breaking down on the motorway and sometimes my phone battery isn't charged enough to last several hours I really ought to make sure it's fully charged when out. The things we have to think of. Tempted to have a baseball bat in the boot of the car too

I am always astonished at how cavalier men are with their phone charge when they go out and about. I'm always paranoid about it, and take a fully charged power bank just in case, but my partner and most men I know tend to just sling it in their pocket without a second thought. They definitely do have a very different experience of the world to us, and don't have as many dangers to prepare for!

Kittypops · Jan 20, 2022

I'm having an issue at work, a colleague (female) I work closely with is constantly deferring to a senior male colleague, who steamrollers in, makes one tiny insignificant change to some work, then takes ownership of it and presents it as his. I'm seeing it weekly. She just complies and lets him do it. It's getting her ahead and he's asking her to work on more projects.

He does this to all the women in the team. Never the men. Ever. One woman left and sited him for this very reason. Her comments were not included in her exit interview (I saw the final version).

In the past week, he's done it to me and I tentatively said to her that I'd done all the work on this task and I'd have liked to have my name on it.

She's clearly mentioned this to my boss (friends with the senior guy) and the atmosphere is awful.

Is this deferential thing some weird tried and tested job preservation method? I'm worn down by it all.

Peachsquish · Jan 20, 2022

Just seen

Caitlyn Jenner: Transgender women should NOT compete with biological

Caitlyn Jenner said the 'woke world' is not working for women's sports and is calling on the NCAA to adjust their transgender policy for sports in the wake of UPenn's Lia Thomas' performance.

www.dailymail.co.uk

emmer_moans · Jan 20, 2022

Peachsquish said:
Just seen

Caitlyn Jenner: Transgender women should NOT compete with biological

Caitlyn Jenner said the 'woke world' is not working for women's sports and is calling on the NCAA to adjust their transgender policy for sports in the wake of UPenn's Lia Thomas' performance.

www.dailymail.co.uk

A stopped clock is right twice a day. I don't like the adoration Jenner gets or the fact he was directly involved in a car crash death which has been swept under the carpet. But he is right on sports.

Vanelope · Jan 20, 2022

Kittypops said:
I'm having an issue at work, a colleague (female) I work closely with is constantly deferring to a senior male colleague, who steamrollers in, makes one tiny insignificant change to some work, then takes ownership of it and presents it as his. I'm seeing it weekly. She just complies and lets him do it. It's getting her ahead and he's asking her to work on more projects.

He does this to all the women in the team. Never the men. Ever. One woman left and sited him for this very reason. Her comments were not included in her exit interview (I saw the final version).

In the past week, he's done it to me and I tentatively said to her that I'd done all the work on this task and I'd have liked to have my name on it.

She's clearly mentioned this to my boss (friends with the senior guy) and the atmosphere is awful.

Is this deferential thing some weird tried and tested job preservation method? I'm worn down by it all.

Infuriating. People are so worried about upsetting men because they often react badly (and we’re the emotional ones). There is nothing wrong with asking for credit for your work. Those sort of gatekeepers usually need to be bypassed to get ahead. It’s really hard. I’ve noticed since moving to a firm with MANY senior women, (often in a meeting it will be mostly women, and I’m in a traditional male dominated profession) its so much easier to get things done. It’s more collaborative and people aren’t always trying to one up each other. It’s an employees market at the moment, we are desperate to recruit so I’d be looking. Good luck!

katyazamo · Jan 20, 2022

I'm seeing more and more crowdfunders by trans people to raise money for surgery. Saw one this morning from a trans identifying man who wanted to raise £12k for "facial feminisation surgery". Apparently they need it because they struggle SO much with their physical appearance and it'll make EVERYTHING better.

So... save up for it yourself? Take some responsibility for what you want? Of course that would be asking too much, wouldn't it. Always funny how the people who start these crowdfunders never seem to have a job or any income coming in, but think they're entitled to these ELECTIVE surgeries and treatments, funded by other people.

Complete nonsense. Could you imagine the backlash a young woman would get if she started a crowdfunder because she wanted lip filler?

weeweegie · Jan 20, 2022

katyazamo said:
I'm seeing more and more crowdfunders by trans people to raise money for surgery. Saw one this morning from a trans identifying man who wanted to raise £12k for "facial feminisation surgery". Apparently they need it because they struggle SO much with their physical appearance and it'll make EVERYTHING better.

So... save up for it yourself? Take some responsibility for what you want? Of course that would be asking too much, wouldn't it. Always funny how the people who start these crowdfunders never seem to have a job or any income coming in, but think they're entitled to these ELECTIVE surgeries and treatments, funded by other people.

Complete nonsense. Could you imagine the backlash a young woman would get if she started a crowdfunder because she wanted lip filler?

That’s the f***ed up thing, men suffering gender dysphoria and wanting these surgeries are given sympathy and are legitimised but a woman suffering body dysmorphia who wants breast implants or whatever is ridiculed and called shallow. Mis-og-y-ny.

Glortard · Jan 20, 2022

Pinkii said:
Some advice needed ladies- my friend’s job is providing training to other work places, eg health and safety or whatever else they need.

they have just been asked to attend a course to provide training on gender identity at work, now she is really uncomfortable with this and doesn’t agree with it at all and doesn’t want to contribute to this nonsense but she can’t pick and choose what she provides training for. ( leaving the job is not an option)

Any advice on how she can handle it without being labelled a terf

Not sure if this has already been mentioned but an email to ask who has designed the course as she has read of a number of problems where things like the equality act has been misrepresented and she does not want to risk delivering a course that could make people uncomfortable or at worst lead to legal action.

SILKWORM · Jan 20, 2022

katyazamo said:
I'm seeing more and more crowdfunders by trans people to raise money for surgery. Saw one this morning from a trans identifying man who wanted to raise £12k for "facial feminisation surgery". Apparently they need it because they struggle SO much with their physical appearance and it'll make EVERYTHING better.

So... save up for it yourself? Take some responsibility for what you want? Of course that would be asking too much, wouldn't it. Always funny how the people who start these crowdfunders never seem to have a job or any income coming in, but think they're entitled to these ELECTIVE surgeries and treatments, funded by other people.

Complete nonsense. Could you imagine the backlash a young woman would get if she started a crowdfunder because she wanted lip filler?

Someone I went to school with posted yet another one of these gofundme thingys. He's unemployed, in his 30s and lives with his parents. He got like 6k first time he posted his gofundme. It's wild.

Pinkii · Jan 20, 2022

Glortard said:
Not sure if this has already been mentioned but an email to ask who has designed the course as she has read of a number of problems where things like the equality act has been misrepresented and she does not want to risk delivering a course that could make people uncomfortable or at worst lead to legal action.

That’s a good idea, will pass that along to her.

Thank you!

emm · Jan 20, 2022

Blond3g1rl said:
The AA have realised they have fucked up

" by the letter of the law" what does that even mean, trying to hide behind the law when that clearly isn't true is ridiculous.I hope loads of people cancel their cover with AA

katyazamo said:
I'm seeing more and more crowdfunders by trans people to raise money for surgery. Saw one this morning from a trans identifying man who wanted to raise £12k for "facial feminisation surgery". Apparently they need it because they struggle SO much with their physical appearance and it'll make EVERYTHING better.

So... save up for it yourself? Take some responsibility for what you want? Of course that would be asking too much, wouldn't it. Always funny how the people who start these crowdfunders never seem to have a job or any income coming in, but think they're entitled to these ELECTIVE surgeries and treatments, funded by other people.

Complete nonsense. Could you imagine the backlash a young woman would get if she started a crowdfunder because she wanted lip filler?

who the hell is donating to this?!

HoGi · Jan 20, 2022

emm said:
"by the letter of the law" what does that even mean, trying to hide behind the law when that clearly isn't true is ridiculous.I hope loads of people cancel their cover with AA

I'm assuming he means under the Equality Act they can't discriminate against people on the grounds of sex.

So they can't legally prioritise one sex over another.

emm · Jan 20, 2022

HoGi said:
I'm assuming he means under the Equality Act they can't discriminate against people on the grounds of sex.

So they can't legally prioritise one sex over another.

Although there are loads of situations where they can, things like domestic violence charities can advertise for women in their job ads, for example

HoGi · Jan 20, 2022

emm said:
Although there are loads of situations where they can, things like domestic violence charities can advertise for women in their job ads, for example

I assume that's different to providing a service though. Men aren't allowed to access a female only shelter (or can they if they claim to be a woman...I digress)

But providing a subscription service to openly discriminate against one sex over another would come under the Equality Act. I don't agree with the original reply I thought it was rude. And the boss seems to be back pedalling and suggesting they have informal agreements to prioritise women. But I would say he is right that they can't legally advertise prioritising one over the other.

Ursaarctosarctos · Jan 20, 2022

Vee6 said:
Yeah, every guy they encountered wanted something from them. And that perve wanking on the subway. Was very good at showing what teenage girls go through

Yes. I also appreciated the detail of the female doctor being completely patronising. Girls can't even rely on other women

Vanelope · Jan 20, 2022

HoGi said:
I'm assuming he means under the Equality Act they can't discriminate against people on the grounds of sex.

So they can't legally prioritise one sex over another.

You can when there is consideration for safety. That they are conflating gender with sex is concerning when talking about the law. They are going to have to issue a statement soon if the papers pick it up.

Kittypops · Jan 20, 2022

Vanelope said:
You can when there is consideration for safety. That they are conflating gender with sex is concerning when talking about the law. They are going to have to issue a statement soon if the papers pick it up.

It's hit the Daily Mail (grim comments)

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Gender Discussion #20

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