Gender Discussion #20

[Platformcrocs]

I agree completely. I popped into the office the other day and a guy I thought was a good one was looking at the FB profiles of women coming to interview later that day and 'rating their tits' with the guy sat next to him. As you say, it's everywhere.

Some guys at my old work did the same, in full view of the wider team as well. So casual and no one ever told them to get a grip. So immediately you had women being judged on their perceived attractiveness before they'd even stepped foot in the office.

You'd also have the "cool girls" getting involved, coming out with all sorts of tripe like "oh she's wearing soooo much makeup, I hardly ever wear makeup, I'm not like other girls" They were young and didn't know any better I guess, or maybe they wanted to be "one of the guys" because they thought it'd make them immune to unwanted attention or advances. Except it doesn't.

 

[Vanelope]

At uni (in the hellish 90s) my boyfriend had a housemate who was frankly vile to all women. He would say such shocking things about them and tell his mates private stuff about various girls who he had slept with and I told my boyfriend it wasn’t on and he said that he doesn’t know how to talk to girls so he puts on this real act and he’s a bit pathetic really. It was always excused. I was 20 and wasn’t as confident as I am now to call it out.

He’s a barrister now.

 

[ChilliBean]

I find it so fascinating when trans people (especially trans women) find validation in comments that biological women would actually find disturbing/creepy/inappropriate. I would hate for a random man to speak to me like this and refer to me as a “pretty young lady” but this person seems to be lapping it up

 

[Clover123]

I find it so fascinating when trans people (especially trans women) find validation in comments that biological women would actually find disturbing/creepy/inappropriate. I would hate for a random man to speak to me like this and refer to me as a “pretty young lady” but this person seems to be lapping it up

Yeah, the glee they express at the idea of being catcalled makes me feel ill. Like most women I've been regularly catcalled since the age of 13 and never once felt validated in my looks or femininity- it's grim and demeaning and makes you so uncomfortable. To reduce it to a "fun" thing is so offensive

 

[nothanksbabes]

I find it so fascinating when trans people (especially trans women) find validation in comments that biological women would actually find disturbing/creepy/inappropriate. I would hate for a random man to speak to me like this and refer to me as a “pretty young lady” but this person seems to be lapping it up

Ha, like this even ever happened. Just a weird AGP fantasy.

 

[emm]

I find it so fascinating when trans people (especially trans women) find validation in comments that biological women would actually find disturbing/creepy/inappropriate. I would hate for a random man to speak to me like this and refer to me as a “pretty young lady” but this person seems to be lapping it up

its because having not grown up female they are not scared of men and what comments like this can end up in

 

[Vee6]

yep.. incredible isn't it.. I just don't think it'd appropriate at all and how is someone who is a biological male with male hormones, brain & body chemistry and male body parts in a position to put something like this out?

creepy AF as well tbh

I don’t get the video??

 

[weeweegie]

its because having not grown up female they are not scared of men and what comments like this can end up in

Such a good point.

 

[Falkor]

I used to work in IT for a major high street retailer in the early 2000s and was told that before they put a policy in place to stop it happening, they found they had one of the biggest collections of porn on a company server in the UK. Don't know how they knew that, but it wouldn't surprise me.

 

[holliebollie]

I am so glad that others are feeling the way I feel. I have a bf and lovely male family members but I just can’t contain my dislike of men and feel like it’s showing more and more. If I had more dating opportunities I would much rather be with a woman but I’m in the middle of nowhere with children and it’s not really likely to happen. I feel like I am constantly lecturing my bf about it all as he’s totally oblivious (but supportive) and it’s starting to grind me down. Hard not to be with all this *waving hands around* going on. We had a bit of an argument the other day as I talked about men spiking drinks and he said, ‘Or women to men?’ I just thought, what am I DOING here?! Sorry, rant over!

 

[Ursaarctosarctos]

Hello..very new to tattle. Been enjoying lurking in these threads though. Been great to see some honest debate. Anyway, has anyone here watched the film "Never, Rarely, Sometimes, Always"? It's pretty distressing, but it does a good job of highlighting what women have to deal with, big and small. (There was a scene where the two girls get on the bus, followed closely by a young man. You know immediately he will sit next to them and try to talk to them. And he does. Even though they are clearly being distant with him in response he just keeps on going. Who can't relate to that casual invasion of personal space? And it shouldn't be like that.) So sad that women have to put up with stuff like this even in a first world country

 

[maytoseptember]

If any are happy poly and works for you it's grand it's just the bitching i'm laughing at.

The poly lifestyle is so trendy atm but I find it hard to believe that many of the proponents aren’t fucked up people with fucked up boundaries.

Weirdly, the only person IRL I’ve met who was poly, was living it around 20 years ago. Then met her husband (also poly) got married and settled down to the most conventional rural life ever.

I lost touch with her except I heard from mutual friends that the husband was now “trans” (AGP of course) and has resumed his poly ways with men.

We had a bit of an argument the other day as I talked about men spiking drinks and he said, ‘Or women to men?’ I just thought, what am I DOING here?! Sorry, rant over!

It infuriates me that so many men just can’t accept that their fellow men do appalling things to women. Why do they always have to DARVO things by trying claim that women do it too?

I mean, of course women aren’t spiking men’s drinks in order to sexually assault them. It doesn’t happen. And if it does happen, they’ll account for a minuscule percentage of offenders (same for sex offences, child sex offences, violence, murder…)

I mean that’s just a fact. Suck it up, men

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Ok, man wearing cat ears, we believe you

 

[Vee6]

Hello..very new to tattle. Been enjoying lurking in these threads though. Been great to see some honest debate. Anyway, has anyone here watched the film "Never, Rarely, Sometimes, Always"? It's pretty distressing, but it does a good job of highlighting what women have to deal with, big and small. (There was a scene where the two girls get on the bus, followed closely by a young man. You know immediately he will sit next to them and try to talk to them. And he does. Even though they are clearly being distant with him in response he just keeps on going. Who can't relate to that casual invasion of personal space? And it shouldn't be like that.) So sad that women have to put up with stuff like this even in a first world country

Yeah, every guy they encountered wanted something from them. And that perve wanking on the subway. Was very good at showing what teenage girls go through

 

[bcfc999]

Has anyone had any luck opposing trans women using female bathrooms? Is there anything in policy we can use?

 

[weeweegie]

There it is again ‘gender based violence’ when they mean VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN.

Pledge of ‘zero tolerance’ on gender violence in wake of Ashling Murphy murder — The Independent

Irish police are still hunting for the killer of Ms Murphy, a 23-year-old teacher who was found dead after going for a run in Co Offaly.

apple.news

 

[threeSMEGfridges]

The comment section of this one riled me.
When did it become okay to make jokes about something that actually can be pretty horrific for those that actually experience it. Ms Trunchbull here will never know the embarrassment of bleeding through your jeans at 13 In front of teenage boys.
Why is it okay for trans people to talk over womens experiences in this way? If I, as a white woman, made a similar joke about the experiences of POC it would not be okay.

I bled through my jeans yesterday (33) fortunatly I was volunteering at a female only club and was able to call a female adult to find me some extra pads and get sorted. They don’t have a clue, or just have “gender envy”

 

[Folkevermore]

I bled through my jeans yesterday (33) fortunatly I was volunteering at a female only club and was able to call a female adult to find me some extra pads and get sorted. They don’t have a clue, or just have “gender envy”

I’m glad someone was able to help you out! I just don’t get why we’re expected to play along with their little fantasies.

 

[threeSMEGfridges]

I find it so fascinating when trans people (especially trans women) find validation in comments that biological women would actually find disturbing/creepy/inappropriate. I would hate for a random man to speak to me like this and refer to me as a “pretty young lady” but this person seems to be lapping it up

Where’s that “sure Jan” GIF?

Why are AGPs always “girls” like your a 36 year old trans-woman. Use woman not girl if you want to be taken more seriously

 

[thegirlscout]

time to change companies!