Female Dating Strategy did an excellent podcast on this. They discuss the notion that we need to stop separating a person's character from their kink. A person who gets off on choking you is not a good person, irrespective of safe words etc.
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I disagree. Kink is completely different from person to person. I like degradation and being choked (with proper safe words + ton of aftercare). No abuse in my childhood or family. My fiance comes from a stable family too. Yes, there are bad actors in the BDSM space but I personally think it's wrong to think a person is abusive based on their kinks. But there are notable exceptions where some guys act like pieces of tit like James Gunn here.
Suicide Squad Director Named in Underage Sex Assault Lawsuit for Hosting Pedophile-Themed Party
James Euringer, lead singer and songwriter of Mindless Self Indulgence, has been accused of sexual battery of a minor, according to a lawsuit filed in the New York Supreme Court on Monday. In the lawsuit, the anonymous woman claims that she
humanevents.com
I will never understand it either, and I will never understand women who claim they love to be choked and it’s their idea to do it in bed, not their partners.
I think there’s a book to be written somewhere about porn and the way it influences what women want to have done to them, sexually. I don’t believe any woman inherently, naturally wants to be choked and beaten during sex. It’s fucked up.
Clearly, it’s a new “thing” to go mainstream. Every generation seems to embrace a new risqué sexual act, more risqué than the last. I’m old enough to remember the idea of anal being something that no woman really did. I certainly didn’t read about it in 90s teen magazines. Now we have Teen Vogue advising girls about how to do it.
Another one bites the dust.
www.dailymail.co.uk
Eminem's child, 19, comes out as non-binary
Eminem's 19-year-old child has come out as non-binary. The teenager made the announcement in a Tik Tok video and asked fans to 'call me Stevie (they/she/he)'.
They don't just believe they are owed sex, they think they are owed it from "hot" women. They also hate those "hot" women for only going for Alpha's or Chad's. They also claim that "ugly" women will also not have sex with them because they would rather be used by "Chad's/alphas".
It never crosses their minds that the reason they can't get a girl is because they see them as a thing to have sex with and not an actual human.
They advocate state provides prostitutes or enforced prostitutes or something
I find the choking thing disgusting. What does it say about men who get off on being violent to women?! Luckily I’m old enough to say sod off. I worry that teenagers will see this as normal, sex will be awful for them and people will get badly injured. From working in a&e years ago, so many women were in with strangling injuries which were ‘accidental’. Grim
As a person that has umm lets say extended tastes it is never normal for that to occur........its assault. There are aspects of intimacy which should be straight forward like normal intercourse.....anything beyond that needs detailed discussion and agreement. Even then its a fine line, choking ffs is tantamount to attempted murder. I get some or very few people may get off on that......however it should never ever be considered the normal or permissable.
I think as well it's very difficult BEING choked as it's all the science behind blocking oxygen etc blah blah blah, but what man gets off on choking someone else? What's in it for them?? Other than pure power?
The fact that it’s called ‘breath play’ just makes me feel ill. It’s choking and it’s dangerous. I find it genuinely terrifying, women have literally died from this act.
There's a lot to break down here.
First of all, if someone is into rougher kinks as such, the first assumption should not be, "Oh, he/she is into it because their partner forced them or there's horrible abuse involved." Some of us grew up reading erotic literature/other media and want to try different things with consenting adults. Some women/men want to try different things out in their sex life. I will never think choking or sadomasochism is normal. It's an acquired taste. I am okay with normal intercourse on a daily basis but sometimes, my partner and I like different things.
Second, one of the most intimate expressions of sexuality is role playing with someone we trust and desire. It’s not a game that’s open to strangers – except in our imaginations. This is tricky terrain and it’s only with those we feel closest to that we can even admit to such instincts. Whether fantasizing about perpetrating sex crimes, choking, breath play, sadomasochism or imagining being the victim, it doesn’t mean we’re asking for it to happen.
Third, as adults we have a right to choose. There are yearnings deeper in our psyche than rational thought and it’s a restrictive view of feminism and womanhood to think we should be incapable of imaging acts and ideas that take us beyond philosophically acceptable terrain. Pretending our instincts are entirely tame-able and explicable reduces the scope of human experience. Controlling the desires we can’t rationalize, or that open us or others to harm, is part of our responsibility as evolved animals. Evolution isn’t capable of wiping out the instincts we have been imbued with, but we have powerful tools to diffuse and direct them.
Fourth, I do not support sexualizing young kids esp outlets like Teen Vogue. That said, anal sex when done properly with plenty of lube, relaxation of the sphincter muscles should not hurt. Once again, if a consenting adult wants to explore that or pegging or with use of toys, I am not going to shame them for it.
Fifth, I’m not a fan of pornography because, in extremis, which is where the journey often winds up, it makes literal what should remain fantasy. Like all stimulants, it can create a hunger for greater highs.
We are complicated creations and exploring our fantasies is as vital as fueling our bodies – as long as we aren’t causing harm to ourselves or others.
I understand some of you have valid reasons for not liking choking or breath play but constantly shaming people for liking it or enjoying it isn't cool either. I can assure you, whenever choking is involved, we have proper protocol with hand signs, body language and a TON of aftercare too with lots of reassurance, love and care. Whenever there are bruises or welts or soreness involved, we take a break for some time, apply some soothing salve and check in on each other I have never felt threatened, unloved or felt like just a cum receptacle to my fiancé.
That's my POV on this. I don't hate any of you and I understand where all of you are coming from. But I am going to agree to disagree.
Cheers!
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I don’t get why James Gunn is supported a lot in HW, especially after MeToo? I swear there was an instance where he was fired from Guardians or the Galaxy 2 but Chris Pratt and the Dave guy complained and he got reinstated or maybe I’m remembering wrong.I disagree. Kink is completely different from person to person. I like degradation and being choked (with proper safe words + ton of aftercare). No abuse in my childhood or family. My fiance comes from a stable family too. Yes, there are bad actors in the BDSM space but I personally think it's wrong to think a person is abusive based on their kinks. But there are notable exceptions where some guys act like pieces of tit like James Gunn here.
Suicide Squad Director Named in Underage Sex Assault Lawsuit for Hosting Pedophile-Themed Party
James Euringer, lead singer and songwriter of Mindless Self Indulgence, has been accused of sexual battery of a minor, according to a lawsuit filed in the New York Supreme Court on Monday. In the lawsuit, the anonymous woman claims that she
You are right. https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/23/entertainment/james-gunn-celebs-support/index.html
That said, since there's tangible proof that he's actually taking part in filth like this, I think a lot of celebs including Disney might disown him.
I get what you're saying that people have different tastes and two enthusiastically consenting adults should be free to engage of whatever kink they like as long as they are safe.
But......
I can't get in board with this statement
"We are complicated creations and exploring our fantasies is as vital as fueling our bodies"
Exploring fantasys and being given free rain absolved of shame for doing so is what has led society down this path.
Somethings should come with shame attached, some fantasys should stay just that. It's is not vital to explore your fantasies.
Do you think it was vital for Ted Bundy or Jeffrey Dahmer to explore their fantasies. I'm not saying you're anything like that, but just illustrating that a line has to be drawn somewhere.
Many would say that line should be drawn at the point that your hurting and/or endangering the life of someone else.
But......
I can't get in board with this statement
"We are complicated creations and exploring our fantasies is as vital as fueling our bodies"
Exploring fantasys and being given free rain absolved of shame for doing so is what has led society down this path.
Somethings should come with shame attached, some fantasys should stay just that. It's is not vital to explore your fantasies.
Do you think it was vital for Ted Bundy or Jeffrey Dahmer to explore their fantasies. I'm not saying you're anything like that, but just illustrating that a line has to be drawn somewhere.
Many would say that line should be drawn at the point that your hurting and/or endangering the life of someone else.
To be honest, I’m starting to doubt your intentions in this thread, such is your tendency to bring your sex life into it. This thread isn’t to display your kinks and frankly I’m starting to find it all very weird. If you’re trying to convert a bunch of kink-shaming radfems it isn’t working.
Any sex that requires aftercare and “soothing salves” (such strange, flowery language) is harmful to women.
I’m going to step away from this thread until the vibe gets back to normal.
What. The. Everloving. duck.
What Ted Bundy and Dahmer was NOT consenting and murder is not a kink. It's not even a kink in practice. If your kink involves grievous bodily harm, it's not a kink, it's just malice.
My intention was not to actively convert people but it was a rebuttal to the kinkshaming. Am I not allowed to have a different opinion or speak from my own experience?
I am sorry you feel threatened by my opinions and experience. I hope you feel better and have a nice day. No sarcasm intended at all.
Queer is straight people trying to be edgy.
Very telling that replies are turned off - the twitter version of sticking your fingers in your ears and shouting "la la la la la I can't hear you"
I just read an article about Eminem's stepchild in La Vanguardia (Spanish newspaper). It used masculine forms throughout - el hijo pequeño etc - and only mentioned the subject's actual sex by saying (rough translation), "he used to identify as female." The birth name was never mentioned.
If you didn't already know that Stevie was female, you would read it and assume that Eminem had a son who was coming out as NB. In fact, it looks like most readers had exactly that reaction - there were lots of comments about the irony of Eminem using homophobic language in his raps, then having a gay son.
It really shows how much accurate journalism is suffering at the moment. Journalists MUST be able to speak plainly. It's their job.
If you didn't already know that Stevie was female, you would read it and assume that Eminem had a son who was coming out as NB. In fact, it looks like most readers had exactly that reaction - there were lots of comments about the irony of Eminem using homophobic language in his raps, then having a gay son.
It really shows how much accurate journalism is suffering at the moment. Journalists MUST be able to speak plainly. It's their job.
But choking is enacting murder, Bundy and Darhmers crimes were sexually motivated. Which is my point. Where do we draw the line between "kink" and unacceptable perversion. As I said my line would be drawn at the point that you're hurting or endangering others. People draw their own personal lines, but it seems that the acceptable line drawn by society in general is getting closer and closer to what was traditionally considered a crime.
You said gbh isn't acceptable, but leaving marks on someone's neck because you have choked them so hard is injuring someone and endangering their life.
The line is being blurred between kink and crime, abusive men have got away with murder because they have claimed kink and rough sex. This is why many of us feel that normalising any and all fantasies/perversion is dangerous.
It is some people's kink to rape and kill, how can you say it's vital for humans to explore their fantasies but not if xyz. You can't have it both ways.
‘Breath play’ 
What about people who like to be dominated by people dressed as Nazis? Do they owe it to themselves to play out their fantasies of being sexually assaulted in concentration camps?
If ‘kink judging’ means I’ve got no sexually depraved people in my social circle, I’m good with that.
What about people who like to be dominated by people dressed as Nazis? Do they owe it to themselves to play out their fantasies of being sexually assaulted in concentration camps?
If ‘kink judging’ means I’ve got no sexually depraved people in my social circle, I’m good with that.
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