Jamie doesn’t look interested at all, was more interested in his slice of toast.
So, my husband was a little like this. Didn’t seem too excited. He was happy, but not jumping for joy or anything. Until she came, and then he was just smitten. I had some complications after birth and he didn’t even find out until later because he’d followed the baby and nurses to the nursery when they took her to clean her up and everything. He just wandered back in after the nurses had revived me and fixed me all up and told me he’d been standing outside the glass, staring at her and thinking about how much cuter she was than allllll the other babies and that he couldn’t wait to hold her again. Had no idea what had gone on in the delivery room after they’d left
He feels bad about that, but I don’t. My last memory before I passed out is him holding the door open for the baby nurse and protectively guiding the bassinet through, and rushing off behind them. They’ve been thick as thieves ever since. I treasure that.
Anyway, the point in all this is to say: I think there is some truth to the idea that it doesn’t really “click” for fathers (or the co-parent) until after the baby is born. For the pregnancy, they’re on the outside looking in and the baby is more of a concept than anything else. Unlike for the mother, that can literally feel the baby moving and growing inside her.