Some thoughts ( partdon the weird ass youtube transcript notes fam )
" debrief over the past few weeks because it's been quite eventful so week before
last I got completely taken out by this I think it was like a flu because I'm
still not well like it's 3 weeks on now and I'm I've still got a horrible cough and I still wake up some days and feel
quite bad um but thankfully I'm feeling like much better"
As suspected, she was sick, only her this time tho
"I've been feeling really just pregnancy hormones have been wild this time around guys especially since I
hit like 30 weeks like I've just really struggled um with how I've been feeling mentally like I've been so up and down I've had some days where I just feel like so so depressed and it's like a vicious circle because then I I get annoyed at myself for feeling like that um but I've
just had some really really really low days which have just been really hard to
really hard to deal with um so I don't know whether I'm just feeling run down and I'm just catching all the colds
Gee I wonder why, it could not possibly be because you NEVER address your issues and actually worked on yourself before messing up your mental health and hormones with another pregnancy 
" we'll we'll speak about that a little bit later because
I don't want to be sat here this morning just like talking to you for hours and hours hours other thing as well that I'm
always like really really conscious of is I really don't want my Vlogs to start off on like any negativity any like I don't know
the videos that I put out I really want to just be like a safe place a really uplifting kind of video like I really don't want it to be a place that I come
to rant and I come on my days where I'm feeling really low because I just it doesn't feel natural for me to I don't know I don't like feeling vulnerable so it's like it I find it very hard to talk about certain things"
She has pretended to have a perfect everything for so long that she is deadly affraid of anything that is even remotely real. She hides behind this "i want this to be a positive exprience for people" nonsense all the time, because god forbitd you are HONEST and truthful about your life. This is such a cheap copout and she needs to realize that the ~aesthetic~ influencer era where people aspire to be like these dime-a-dozen blonde dimwits is OVER. People want to watch real people, and be able to relate to said people, her views should have shown her that ages ago and yet she persists on potraying this everyhing is positive and cozy and lovely bs. Get grip and get real with yourself and your followers ffs.
"we had quite a few questions from you guys about my brand girl of Muse which we've actually
had for almost 3 years now can't believe how quickly time has gone um but you
guys may have noticed well quite a few of you have noticed that we have been a
little bit quiet on girl of muse this year um our last drop was actually our Christmas collection"
Yes, we noticed, and I'm wondering then wtf Jamie has been doing then all day every day, polishing his Birkenstocks?
" the reason for that being we are really trying to have a little bit of a rethink with the brand.
and we've spent the past few months just really thinking about what we want to do going forward
where we want the brand to be what we want the brand to be the changes that we want to make
and kind of feel like since we started the brand three years ago so much has changed.
I think the main thing being becoming a mom I think it changes you so much say this all the time but I do feel like when you give birth you give birth to a new version of yourself"
What has changed exactly? Still doing the same , dull content, still nothing interesting to offer. Since Jamie arrived you've been a shell of your former self, even a child didn't change that.
"and things that were like really important to you back then are almost like not as important now"
R
eally, you are no longer walking around in oversized loungewear?
"so I really wanted to take a little bit of time away from girl of muse to kind of
really make sure my brand aligns with me"
When where you ever IN girl of muse, like honestly?
So before it didn't align with you? Cosy and loungewear is no longer aligned with you? Gtfo
"and we have a plan it's a really really really exciting plan I think you guys are going to love I think you're going to be so
excited um and there's going to be some really exciting announcements and drops coming towards the end of this year like I said
Lmao end of this year. So they are doing duck all the rest of the year, April -> Nov/Dec?
And I'm calling it now, they will change to homeware and decor.
( Noah really is not responsive to any of the Easter excitement... I never seen a more quiet and unresponsive toddlr )
"we're going to have our egg hunt and then Noah will probably go down for his nap for a couple of hours"
A nap of couple of hours??? No wonder he's not sleeping and waking up at 4 am >>
"goodness the most chaotic breakfast ever"
If this is her idea of chaotic then she's in for a rude awakening, Noah was fine and quiet, Jamie was walking back and forth quite calmly and she calls this chaotic... No wonder she's anxious from the wind blowing, she cannot deal with a fraction of energy around her.
"my loves it is time for a little heart to heart me and you it's time to have a chat and I feel like it's going to get quite deep.
this chat is probably completely fueled by pregnancy hormones um cuz like I said
yesterday I am just feeling very much like all over the place I'm really not feeling myself mentally and
just everything is kind of getting to me a lot more than it normally would and
we're going to fully blame pregnancy hormones because they'd be crazy .
I don't know if it's the protective mama in me or the fact that I'm about to birth another baby that's just making me feel like this over the
past couple of months I'm really feeling in two minds of how much of Noah I share online um I think obviously baby's due
date being just around the corner now it's really kind of just making me think about that a lot more."
This is absolute nonsense. She's been online for 7 + years now, she's seen and followed other people having children during this time. She should have considered what she was going to do with Noah before he was even born. It's not like she was completely oblivious to the internet being an absolute horrible place, and pervs are everywhere. Only now that nr 2 is on the way she is thinking about this? Bollocks.
"and obviously now Noah's getting older and honestly this kind of like overthinking has stemmed from a couple
of messages that I've received about Noah in YouTube comments on Instagram messages.
like it's the first kind of messages really that I have received about him that have been directly
written on my platforms they they weren't nasty things but they were kind of just assumptions about him"
Aka people have been wondering and asking about his development and she doesn't like it.
"and I really don't know how to deal with that um I feel like when you you share a lot of your life online you of course are going to receive all
kinds of different comments and messages and over the seven years I have been
online I've really like have to almost train myself to deal with that and you know when nasty things are said about me and and stuff like that I'm really really actually quite good at just brushing it off ."
Yes we are aware, she brushes everything of even if it's good natured and helpful feedback.
"because I feel like you really have to have a very thick skin sharing your life online because obviously people are going to have all different opinions um and you you can't control what people think or say about you so yeah I'm quite good at dealing with negativity or comments about me quite easy just like blaoking out the haters.
but when it comes to Noah like Ijust I want to hide him away like my natural instinct wants to
protect him and take him offline because obviously at this moment in time that's my decision".
You shouldn't have started to begin with, but then again you expected a cute baby to flaunt and earn money from but that didn't turn out quite like you expected now did it?
"and I think it's really hard having to navigate being a mom in general, let alone having so much of your life online and I'm just really really in my head about it and I think these comments just really played on my mind.
and really made me just feel really quite anxious actually, like I feel anxious to be online and like I said with baby's due date just being
around the corner t it's kind of just been a bit of a realization and a moment where I I need to take a step
back and think about that "
Why only now? This should have been considered before the babies were born.
"because obviously I feel like becoming a mom you
learn so much much and if you're lucky enough to have another baby and be able
to do it all over again I really want to make sure that I'm making like the right
choices.
and yeah like I said I don't know if I'm kind of like all in my own head about it and I kind of feel like sad about it as well because if I do make the decision to not share mychildren online I feel like it's kind of like the a bit of a end of an era".
Nobody should care about seeing your children and if they do they are creeps.
Also the end of an era, it's not that serious, get a grip , your children are no different than any other influencer kid.
"and it's sad for me (
because not showing kids is missing out on a lot of #AD opportunities )
it's sad for you guys obviously (
no it isn't )
because I love sharing as much of my life with you as possible and obviously Noah and the baby that's coming soon.
they are the most important things in my life um so to not share them feels really quite alien to me now .
even though I do think about this Noah really isn't in my videos as you guys know a lot you guys maybe see 5 10
minutes of him every couple of weeks really not like he's online a lot "
Yes he is, especially lately hes been in ever IG post, reel and YT short or video.
"that's why I just find it so mindblowing that people can make certain assumptions
about a literal near nearly 2-year-old like it just it's crazy to me like how can how can you make assumptions about a child that you see 10 10 minutes of every fortnite."
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see the kid doesn't speak, interact with you or shows ANY emotions whatsoever, you don't need to see 1 hour vlogs of him to notice something isn't right, people aren't stupid.
" I don't know I just do you know what it is guys I would never do that so I find it really hard to deal with like nasty messages and comments I could just never imagine doing that I could never ever ever ever ever imagine going on someone's page and writing something about them let alone their child like I just really can't understand that.
So I think that's why I find it really hard to comprehend because I'm like I would never do that um but like we said everyone's different.
when you share as much online like I as I do unfortunately it's got to be expected and you have to learn to deal with it so yeah I'm just kind of in my my head about that a little bit at the moment um and I think also that I'm in my head about is what
I'm going to do about maternity leave obviously I have the option to take
maternity leave obviously I run my own business (
girl where and when?? ) businesses so it's hard because you've really got to make the decision it's really hard to take time away ( lm
aooo you have no trouble just not posting so idk what this lie is )
but I do feel like I probably need that this time especially how my hormones just feel all over the place now I know with
Noah like postpartum the hormones even more crazy um so I think that I need a bit of time to just let my body recover newborn life again being a mum to two
like it's it's a lot of change and I think with Noah I never really took any
time to like I never took any maternity leave (
again, you did very much so idk what this lie is? )
so I think I really do need to do that this time so yeah it's just a lot to
think about . I think having a baby is extremely overwhelming anyway just with
like the amount of stuff that you have to prepare and um obviously I feel like
my body is really like slowing down at the minute (
even more than usual >> any slower and you're a snail )
like I feel like I can't do as much as I was able to last week I just feel like my body's like preparing me for labor not yet but like it's it's
telling me to slow down.
I think maybe that's why I'm getting ill because I'm not slowing down and I'm still like doing as much as I was before and my body's like wo let's make you ill so you have to stop um so yeah guys that's kind of like
how I'm feeling at the moment I'm just I just feel really confused I just want to
say thank you in advance because I know all of you are going to be so lovely and
sweet because you always are and I think that's what makes me feel really sad
that um I feel like I don't know what I'm trying to say I feel like I don't want to stop sharing certain parts of my life
with you guys just because of a few people that have written some things it's
strange I'm trying to make sense of it in my own head so this may have just
been a lot of words um but thank you for listening and thank you for all being
being Amazing Friends um and I really appreciate having this platform and
having all of you guys to be able to chat to about stuff like this um so yeah
I'm going to get ready for bed I'm going to eat my Easter egg I've
got a Gillian which I'm very excited about and we're probably going to watch a film and then tomorrow's bank holiday
Monday um so we're going over to my mom [Music] my nephews are going to be there my brother's going to be there um so it's
going to be really really nice like Family Day Noah's going to absolutely love playing with his cousins and we're
going to have some nice food and yeah it's just going to be a really nice chilled day um and then I will catch up
with you guys in next weekend's Vlog hopefully I'll be able to share the nursery with you um and yeah we'll have
another catch up then yeah thank you so much for spending time with me this weekend I hope you've all had a gorgeous Easter weekend"
The girl is just rambling and trying to justify her unhappiness, blaming everything under the sun for her low mood.
At this point she should just dissapear from the internet completely, it's clearly bothering her and she has no inspo to be creative so why sufffer and have us suffer with her? I don't get it.
it’s common sense stop trying to be smart. Go ahead a list some “weekly vloggers”
hehe
She knows exactly what she’s doing, everything is calculated. Like how she says she’s thinking about now showing him and then in the same vlog shows him and puts him in the thumbnail 
