I live on my own he doesn’t live with me. I owe him nothing, everything is mine we’ve only been together for 5 months but his true colours are creeping in and he just bosses me round and makes me out to be a crap person but I know I am not. Yeah I moan and stuff but I’m good to him. He’s not half as bad as some of these stories here he’s just showing a bit of his true colours in terms of the blaming me and stuff xTskirywell done on finding the strength to get through what must have been such an awful, traumatic time. Thank you for sharing your story and I hope things are a lot happier for you now.
Peaky - do you have friends you could stay with (if the house you're in is not yours?).
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Good to hear you already have your own place - imagine if a friend of yours had the same problem with their partner, how would you talk to them about it? Nobody deserves to be made to feel crap and be blamed for things that you definitely haven't done.
Thank you
and thank you for sharing what you have been through. I’m so glad you are in a better place it brought a tear to me reading your post.Sorry to hear all your stories. I hope you all find happiness and peace!
i just don’t know what to do with myself, we’ve been arguing for 8 days straight now because he won’t take accountability for anything, he came round tonight to talk things through and it ended with him storming out (as usual) and me having to ring him. And shock, he said that he’s been “nothing but nice” since he came and I’ve just been a witch. Which isn’t true I’ve just called him out on his behaviour. Now he’s ignoring my messages. It’s a never ending cycle but it’s really hard to get out of because I love him. X
i just don’t know what to do with myself, we’ve been arguing for 8 days straight now because he won’t take accountability for anything, he came round tonight to talk things through and it ended with him storming out (as usual) and me having to ring him. And shock, he said that he’s been “nothing but nice” since he came and I’ve just been a witch. Which isn’t true I’ve just called him out on his behaviour. Now he’s ignoring my messages. It’s a never ending cycle but it’s really hard to get out of because I love him. X
This is no way healthy for either of you and must be having an impact on your emotional wellbeing.
Do you end up worrying about him when he storms off?
I honestly believe he knows what his doing he knows that by ignoring calls his making you concerned. He wants the attention. You deserve better than being in a relationship where your arguing and unhappy.
We only get one life you can either stay and put up with behaviour that probably wont change or end the relationship and find someone who treats you right.
it’s having a massive effect on my mental health etc. I am an emotional person and quite an anxious person anyway so all this just makes me 10x worse. He keeps saying he will only reply to me if I’m nice etc but I am nice. I’m just never allowed to say anything that calls him out on his behaviour. I know I need to get out but I feel like I can’t because I don’t want to but deep down I know I need to if that makes sense. I feel so weak x
Have you sort help from anyone or spoke to anyone else about how you feel?
Your not weak .... can you see a happy future with him? Are you worried about being on your own?
Don’t mind being on my own just sick of starting again.
I know how it feels I had to start again at the age of 28 and with a 3 year old.
But I found happiness and I never thought i would. Dont let a boy change you. A man wouldn't treat you like that.
Im 32 this year so. You are definitely right it’s just hard x
I'm 32 and met my now partner at 31 just over a year ago. Dont settle for someone who makes you question why your with them. We are also all guilty of wanting to be happy and believing it will work or a person will change.
You are still young and will meet someone else.. dont let anyone tell you or make you think otherwise.
Please, for your future, end it. I’ve wasted years with someone who’s just upped and left this evening because he’s miserable. This is a man who never opened up or cared about how I felt. He’s just left. Don’t waste your precious time on this guy. Even if you weren’t being “nice”, you don’t have to be. Trust your gut! He won’t change and you’d be forever on eggshells without ever having your needs met. Take care x
That sounds familiar!!
Can I just ask is this a sign of it? Cos My boyfriend does this.
like earlier for instance he told my son he was tired but I never let him have early nights apparently cos I talk when he’s trying to nod off - I don’t, not really but ok. So I said what about a couple of weeks ago when I was shattered and trying to sleep and you was going on until about 3am. His first response was like “didn’t happen. Musta been a weekend” and I was like no it wasn’t it was a Wednesdays cos you had to getup for work on like 3 hours sleep.he constantly makes out like it didn’t happen Or I’m thinking it wrong. He makes me feel so stupid. My memory isn’t great Anyway cos I think my antidepressants have just turned my head In to a cloudy mess but I know when I am actually being remembering something right but he’s telling me I’m wrong
Thank you lovely - Really appreciate your advice. I think thats the problem I just keep thinking things will change but they dont seem to.
I agree babe - I dont think that he will change and he will not give me what he wants, he has changed so much - how are you feeling with your situation?
Definitely gaslighting you. Google it as there is a lot of info online xCan I just ask is this a sign of it? Cos My boyfriend does this.
like earlier for instance he told my son he was tired but I never let him have early nights apparently cos I talk when he’s trying to nod off - I don’t, not really but ok. So I said what about a couple of weeks ago when I was shattered and trying to sleep and you was going on until about 3am. His first response was like “didn’t happen. Musta been a weekend” and I was like no it wasn’t it was a Wednesdays cos you had to getup for work on like 3 hours sleep.he constantly makes out like it didn’t happen Or I’m thinking it wrong. He makes me feel so stupid. My memory isn’t great Anyway cos I think my antidepressants have just turned my head In to a cloudy mess but I know when I am actually being remembering something right but he’s telling me I’m wrong
Thanks so much guys - sounds bad but i feel my friends are sick of hearing about my guy problems now i just feel like a burden.
So he came mine last night to "sort things" - before he came he messaged me the rules about how he will only come if i am nice and dont argue etc. Long story short he stormed out so i rang him and he just told me about how much of a horrible person i am etc same old.
So he came mine last night to "sort things" - before he came he messaged me the rules about how he will only come if i am nice and dont argue etc. Long story short he stormed out so i rang him and he just told me about how much of a horrible person i am etc same old.
Your not a burden.. if they are real friends they will be there for you. I lost so many friends after I left my ex I dont think they knew what to say to me.
His actions last night speak volumes about how he views things. He sounds far too controlling and is being emotionally abusive.
Has this changed your mind about the relationship?
Yeah like i know it isnt right - i said to him we cant move forward if he doesnt ever think he is in the wrong. He did admit to some things last night and apologise but then he just storms off i just cant handle it. He has also kept telling me he cant book a weekend away with me yet because he dont know his rota for work yet found out last night he has booked to go away for 3 nights with his mates so.
I think deep down you know the answers. His not thinking of you or your relationship his thinking of himself.
I know its easier said than done and if you dont want to end the relationship have you considered going on a break.
This may help your emotional wellbeing and also make you ask yourself is it what you really want.