Gabriella Lindley #32

[Sanctified]

One more:

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minions,
Five hundred twenty five thousand watching this mess.
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred dumbshits,
How do they measure, measure success?

In storage, door painting, in badly drawn cups of coffee,
In whinges, in toilets, Quavers and Jane

To five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred dumbshits,
How do you measure a year in Gab's life?

How about ham?
How about ham?
How about ham?
Measure in ham...
Seasons of ham...
Seasons of ham...

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minions,
Five hundred twenty five thousands followers to buy.
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred dumbshits,
How do you explain Gabby to a woman or a guy?

In friends that jumped ship, or the fake tears she cried,
In boxes she tit, or the way that she lied?

It's time now to call out
How her lying never ends
Let's commiserate, remember a year
In her life with no friends.

How about ham?
How about ham?
How about ham?
Measure in ham...
Seasons of ham...
Seasons of ham...

Badly drawn cups of coffee

La vie boheme would be a perfect song for a Gobs life story/summary too

 

[Fillyjonk]

Badly drawn cups of coffee

La vie boheme would be a perfect song for a Gobs life story/summary too

La Vie BoHam

 

[missmisty]

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred dumbshits

I’m actually bleeping cackling

 

[2020two]

I hate you all. I was about to finally go to sleep and now I've laughed so hard at all your lyrics I need to get up for a wee

 

[clairechoice]

Anyone see The Act? That’s Gabby and her future child

 

[Asdfghjkll]

You guize have outdone yourselves I would pay good money to see the Loosical, Gabby’s only chance of getting on a stage to perform

 

[Doc]

Thanks to being slightly pissed up at bedtime and reading this thread until I fell asleep, I was having Gabby dreams last night!! 🥸

 

[AfroCircus]

This face is the exact face I pull when I’m trying to push out my first poo after giving birth.

The ACCURACY

I am in tears at this thread. It's tew much.

Enabling mothers and eye-infected kittens
Ten operashuns, copied Monika’s mittens
Antibiotic bags tied up with strings
These are a few of my favourite things

STOOOOP I JUST WOKE MY KID UP LAUGHING

 

[Punchface]

bleeping hell, you guys! There are some absolute geniuses among us

 

[Alrighthunxo]

We don’t have the staff for a 24 hour rollout you entitled brat

 

[Hally34]

There are so many questions around this like ‘why doesn’t she move out’ ‘why doesn’t she date again’ and I honestly feel like the answer is probably just...because she doesn’t want to? To me it seems reasonable she likes where she lives, maybe she’s perfectly happy living with her best friend (as Chris described Jane as being) doesn’t want to move out of the house they’ve always lived in, maybe she likes that area and doesn’t want to live in Sussex, etc etc.
Not at all trying to shut down discussion by the way. I just think given how easy it would be for her to move out or move away, maybe the answer to all this is very simple - she’s happy with the arrangement and likes it. I don’t have an issue with that, a little unconventional sure, but different strokes for different folks and all that.
Also if she lived with Gabby she would clearly have to share a bed with her forever, enough to put anyone off given how little she washes

i do wonder if Jane stays living away from Gabby to get a break from her. I mean for anybody she is very intense let alone for her mum who is expected to be her nurse, best friend, soul mate, cook, cleaner. I’d love for Jane to get a new fella. Gabby would probably angrily throw pork products at him and scream at Jane to make him go away before collapsing and needing lots of operations.

 

[thereshegoesagain]

Considering the amount of tit with questionable ingredients she consumes on the daily, she can't exactly moan about not knowing

She'll probably say she's allergic to something or another

Edit-- saw that she retweeted this. Is this why she's such a tit daughter?

I can’t get over her retweeting this. You’re 26, your parents are not to blame for your life being tit.

 

[Lemonz]

We don’t have the staff for a 24 hour rollout you entitled brat
View attachment 365525

And maybe we would have the staff if the same government (who Tory Lindley votes for) who is curently trying to get us to 'protect our NHS' hadnt spent the last 10 years defunding it, deconstructing it and driving people out of it in their droves.

On a lighter note, guys the musical numbers

 

[AfroCircus]

Hobbie I'll hold you tew close
Hobbie I'll hurt you tew deep
Hobbie I'll sit in your bath
And eat all your ham

Hobbie I need you tew much
Hobbie I know you tew well
Hobbie please clean up my box
And paint all my walls

Hobbie you must let me in
Hobbie whose kisses I snare
Hobbie who, like it or not
I don't want to share
With Lucy or Lyd

Hobbie I'll crowd you with love
Hobbie I'll force you to care
Hobbie I'll talk about poo
Nell will always be there
As frightened as you
Of being with Gab
Being with Gab
Being with Gab
Being with Gabbbbbbbbbb

 

[MarthaFarkus]

Fucksake you lot

 

[Doc]

Theatre school drop-out,
no graduation day for you
Theatre school drop-out,
Stalked Zoella from YewChoob

Well at least you could have taken time
to get up off your buttocks
After spending all your nannie’s dough
to have a surgeon fix your stomach

Gobby get moving (better get moving),
why keep your stardom hopes alive?
What are you proving (what are you proving)?
You've got the dream, but not the drive

If you do some Skillshare classes,
you could really start to blewm
Turn in your Procreate pen and forget about Jewniper Mewnnnnn

 

[bolimepipi]

It's not in my head constantly but I'm thinking of her doing it in that overacting way she did in this cringe fest

i think she might be sitting on the toilet in this one as well

btw yew guise are pure geniewses

 

[not fussed at all]

It's not in my head constantly but I'm thinking of her doing it in that overacting way she did in this cringe fest

She can obviously sing, it's the acting for me

 

[Fillyjonk]

Don't tell me to go out
I'll sit and putter
Life's boring so I'll drown
My food in butter.
I'm Gabby, I'm a cloud
I'll rain on your parade.

Don't tell me to work out
Cos guys are pervy!
I must have the WHITE GROUT
And I've got scurvy!
If you dare to go out,
I'll rain on your parade.

I'll get my fans out,
I'll tweet your mum.
Stretched my gastric band out
And now I'm fat, trolls
But photoshop can fake it
Fat, trolls. But facetune might just make it.

Get ready for me Jane,
Your car's arriving
Avoid those country lanes
For night-time driving
All day I'm gonna moan
And rain on your parade.

I'm gonna strop and sulk now
Get what I want
I know how
One tear shot for the 'gram
One pout and fans are like "damn"
Moan about wanting my mam
And she'll show up holding the HAM!

Hey ancient troll crones,
Here's my ham.

 

[Lorny]

Don't tell me to go out
I'll sit and putter
Life's boring so I'll drown
My food in butter.
I'm Gabby, I'm a cloud
I'll rain on your parade.
Don't tell me to work out
Cos guys are pervy!
I must have the WHITE GROUT
And I've got scurvy!
I hated all those films,
I'll rain on your parade.
I'll get my fans out,
I'll tweet your mum.
Stretched my gastric band out
And now I'm fat, trolls
But photoshop can fake it
Fat, trolls. But facetune might just make it.
Get ready for me Jane,
Your car's arriving
Avoid those country lanes
For night-time driving
All day I'm gonna moan
And rain on your parade.
I'm gonna strop and sulk now
Get what I want
I know how
One tear posted on the 'gram
One pout and fans are like "damn"
Moan about wanting my mam
And she'll show up holding the HAM!
Hey ancient troll crones,
Here's my ham.

Oh my Christ!! this is my favourite. I am howling ‘I’ll tweet your mum’ BRAVO