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Fillyjonk
VIP Member
Fewd glorious fewd
Creamed spinach and Quavers
Bad period mewd
Drowned roast with no flavours
Jane's pasta with 'sghetti hoops
Haters, don't you question
Same food on a boring loop
Bad digestion
Fewd glorious fewd
That's green, I won't try it
Sew triggering! Rewd!
Don't talk about diets
Just picture a great big plate
Mum's watery stew
Oh fewd
Flavourless fewd
Toddler fewd
Glorious fewd
Creamed spinach and Quavers
Bad period mewd
Drowned roast with no flavours
Jane's pasta with 'sghetti hoops
Haters, don't you question
Same food on a boring loop
Bad digestion
Fewd glorious fewd
That's green, I won't try it
Sew triggering! Rewd!
Don't talk about diets
Just picture a great big plate
Mum's watery stew
Oh fewd
Flavourless fewd
Toddler fewd
Glorious fewd
Fillyjonk
VIP Member
I'd love to see her do a one-woman show set in a toilet cubicle singing all these songs. PLEASE GAB. Or I will perform it in court, if that's okay.
I call it Bl0cked! The Loosical
The sun'll come out tewmorrew
Better put on twitter
All my sorrew
I hate sun
Just thinking about tewmorrew
Anti summer retweets I will borrew
Spoil your fun
I call it Bl0cked! The Loosical
The sun'll come out tewmorrew
Better put on twitter
All my sorrew
I hate sun
Just thinking about tewmorrew
Anti summer retweets I will borrew
Spoil your fun
Last edited:
Lanavalentine
VIP Member
The year is 2057.
A mysterious, pale, chubby woman with a turd bun and a hugely receded hairline lives in her decrepit house with a couple of cats. She spends all day peeping out of her rotten windows, from behind the safety of her millennial pink velvet curtains.
The local children are scared of her. They run past her house as quick as they can on their way home, because it gives them the creeps.
There are rumours amongst the children regarding this mysterious lady. Some say she blocked every single person on the internet and now lives entirely alone, haunted by her own nastiness. Others say she collects her own feces in boxes, or that she takes in cats from the street and feeds them tuna until they’re as fat and unhappy as her. The most persistent rumour however, is that of her shelves. They call her the Shelf Lady, because her horrible, rotting house is so covered in shelves that you cannot easily move around it. On every floor, in every room, on every surface, shelves full of mismatched crates tower over the Shelf Lady, mocking her, haunting her. Still, Shelf Lady cannot bare to part with her shelves.
The children whisper amongst themselves about what the shelves could possibly contain. Boxes of poo? Dead cats? One child says his mum told him the shelves contain print outs of every single person on the internet who ever said anything vaguely critical of her. Another child once ran close up to the house for a dare, and said it smelt of blood and fish, and swears the shelves were full of enamel pins and what looked like stickers and drawings by young children. This child is also certain she heard a faint voice tell her to “be kind, I have endew”, but she was so afraid she ran away before she could even get a better look.
The mystery of who Shelf Lady actually is may never be solved, but one thing is for sure: she lives alone, and she will die alone, sneering out from behind her filthy velvet curtains at her rotten windows, with her hair tied back so tight that her forehead seems larger than the moon. Beware the Shelf Lady, the children all say, not because she’s a threat, but because you really don’t want to end up like her.
A mysterious, pale, chubby woman with a turd bun and a hugely receded hairline lives in her decrepit house with a couple of cats. She spends all day peeping out of her rotten windows, from behind the safety of her millennial pink velvet curtains.
The local children are scared of her. They run past her house as quick as they can on their way home, because it gives them the creeps.
There are rumours amongst the children regarding this mysterious lady. Some say she blocked every single person on the internet and now lives entirely alone, haunted by her own nastiness. Others say she collects her own feces in boxes, or that she takes in cats from the street and feeds them tuna until they’re as fat and unhappy as her. The most persistent rumour however, is that of her shelves. They call her the Shelf Lady, because her horrible, rotting house is so covered in shelves that you cannot easily move around it. On every floor, in every room, on every surface, shelves full of mismatched crates tower over the Shelf Lady, mocking her, haunting her. Still, Shelf Lady cannot bare to part with her shelves.
The children whisper amongst themselves about what the shelves could possibly contain. Boxes of poo? Dead cats? One child says his mum told him the shelves contain print outs of every single person on the internet who ever said anything vaguely critical of her. Another child once ran close up to the house for a dare, and said it smelt of blood and fish, and swears the shelves were full of enamel pins and what looked like stickers and drawings by young children. This child is also certain she heard a faint voice tell her to “be kind, I have endew”, but she was so afraid she ran away before she could even get a better look.
The mystery of who Shelf Lady actually is may never be solved, but one thing is for sure: she lives alone, and she will die alone, sneering out from behind her filthy velvet curtains at her rotten windows, with her hair tied back so tight that her forehead seems larger than the moon. Beware the Shelf Lady, the children all say, not because she’s a threat, but because you really don’t want to end up like her.
chunkylover53
Chatty Member
I’m still annoyed about the girl who said she saw Gabby and Jane in IKEA a few days ago and then spilt no tea
BoomTimesTwo
VIP Member
I mean if I decided to go for a wee mid PE class and someone was singing sad opera songs to themselves on the loo I’d probably think you’re a giant weirdo too.
harlequinade
Active member
MISS GIRL I-
EDIT: omg okay which one of you scummy trolls is this?!
Blueblue123
VIP Member
Don't wanna assume but I think he identifies as a bigoted asshole.
snowfairy17
VIP Member
If someone was having a wild party with loads of people then I’d consider reporting, but I sure as shit am not sitting at the window waiting to see if Barbra next door is sneaking in her grandchildren for the night.
We’ve had a couple of visitors over the last few days because my dad is dying in hospital, and we need the support. You never know what someone else is going through, Gabbie. Take your own advice. Be. Fucking. Kind.
We’ve had a couple of visitors over the last few days because my dad is dying in hospital, and we need the support. You never know what someone else is going through, Gabbie. Take your own advice. Be. Fucking. Kind.
snowfairy17
VIP Member
HAHAHAHA
Edit: HAHAHAHAHA STOP
Edit: HAHAHAHAHA STOP
Attachments
GlitteryKitten
Chatty Member
exclusive sneak peek of 2021 Jewniper Mewn collecshun
Doc
VIP Member
Theatre school drop-out,
no graduation day for you
Theatre school drop-out,
Stalked Zoella from YewChoob
Well at least you could have taken time
to get up off your buttocks
After spending all your nannie’s dough
to have a surgeon fix your stomach
Gobby get moving (better get moving),
why keep your stardom hopes alive?
What are you proving (what are you proving)?
You've got the dream, but not the drive
If you do some Skillshare classes,
you could really start to blewm
Turn in your Procreate pen and forget about Jewniper Mewnnnnn
no graduation day for you
Theatre school drop-out,
Stalked Zoella from YewChoob
Well at least you could have taken time
to get up off your buttocks
After spending all your nannie’s dough
to have a surgeon fix your stomach
Gobby get moving (better get moving),
why keep your stardom hopes alive?
What are you proving (what are you proving)?
You've got the dream, but not the drive
If you do some Skillshare classes,
you could really start to blewm
Turn in your Procreate pen and forget about Jewniper Mewnnnnn