Friends (or lack of)

[no-no]

Any one else feeling a bit crappy about the bank holiday? I’ve got no plans other than walking my and going the gym. Plus I really can’t afford to be doing any more online purchases so I don’t even have retail therapy 🥲 going to have to make up something for when work ask what I “got up to over the weekend”…

 

[hereforthememe]

Any one else feeling a bit crappy about the bank holiday? I’ve got no plans other than walking my and going the gym. Plus I really can’t afford to be doing any more online purchases so I don’t even have retail therapy 🥲 going to have to make up something for when work ask what I “got up to over the weekend”…

Yep same but I'm used to it now tbh

 

[bubble_T]

Any one else feeling a bit crappy about the bank holiday? I’ve got no plans other than walking my and going the gym. Plus I really can’t afford to be doing any more online purchases so I don’t even have retail therapy 🥲 going to have to make up something for when work ask what I “got up to over the weekend”…

Tbh going out with 'mates' for a bank hol drink isn't all its cracked up to be, enjoy being with your dog, go on a different walk? Often think dogs are better than people nowadays x

 

[no-no]

Tbh going out with 'mates' for a bank hol drink isn't all its cracked up to be, enjoy being with your dog, go on a different walk? Often think dogs are better than people nowadays x

Oh yes, I’m not a fan of going out on a BH, waste of money but when I was in a couple I’d be out hiking or going on weekend breaks. I dread coworkers asking what I’ve done at the weekend (I know it’s like a reflex for people) and BH is even worse for this. Definitely prefer the company of dogs I’ve no desire to go to any meet-ups right now. I’ll just workout, cook nice food, maybe do some study and watch junk TV

 

[disneys]

Any one else feeling a bit crappy about the bank holiday? I’ve got no plans other than walking my and going the gym. Plus I really can’t afford to be doing any more online purchases so I don’t even have retail therapy 🥲 going to have to make up something for when work ask what I “got up to over the weekend”…

i am a bit too … but I’m pregnant so I guess I have an excuse as to why I haven’t seen anyone or done anything

we are going to my in laws for a Chinese tonight ….. highlight of my social calendar !!

 

[PaintPots]

Does anyone else worry that the pandemic and social distancing etc has made them more introverted? I do like company and I've always needed alone time to recharge but now I seem to have gotten into a comfortable rut of spending weekends entirely alone with my pets! As much as I enjoy this I keep thinking that it's not "normal" and that it's going to make me go a bit funny which is stupid really and probably just societal pressure or something?

I do have a small number of friends and I genuinely like my work colleagues but being alone feels just as okay too but I worry I might regret this when I'm older.

 

[Noppa]

Does anyone else worry that the pandemic and social distancing etc has made them more introverted? I do like company and I've always needed alone time to recharge but now I seem to have gotten into a comfortable rut of spending weekends entirely alone with my pets! As much as I enjoy this I keep thinking that it's not "normal" and that it's going to make me go a bit funny which is stupid really and probably just societal pressure or something?

I do have a small number of friends and I genuinely like my work colleagues but being alone feels just as okay too but I worry I might regret this when I'm older.

I feel the exact same way! I keep thinking it is 'normal' that I don't do much on most weekends and everybody else that I know seems to be out doing things? I also have a small number of friends who are definitely more extroverted than me, but at the same time I know that I'm comfortable spending a lot of time by myself whereas they're not. I feel like it's hard to explain that at times!

 

[TheTinyHuman]

Hi everyone. I'll be moving to a new city soon and I don't know anyone there. Has anyone here had success with Bumble BFF? I've heard some good things and some bad about it.

 

[d0llhouse]

Does anyone else worry that the pandemic and social distancing etc has made them more introverted? I do like company and I've always needed alone time to recharge but now I seem to have gotten into a comfortable rut of spending weekends entirely alone with my pets! As much as I enjoy this I keep thinking that it's not "normal" and that it's going to make me go a bit funny which is stupid really and probably just societal pressure or something?

I feel the exact same way! I keep thinking it is 'normal' that I don't do much on most weekends and everybody else that I know seems to be out doing things? I also have a small number of friends who are definitely more extroverted than me, but at the same time I know that I'm comfortable spending a lot of time by myself whereas they're not. I feel like it's hard to explain that at times!

When I was single I would skip home from work on a Friday with glee, looking forward to a full weekend at home with no plans at all except good food, lots of sleep, Netflix/social media, some errands and a bit of exercise. True self-care! If I'm honest, I started to resent having plans and losing my weekends.

I've found more of a balance now that I'm in a relationship, but I'm still pretty protective of my free time. In my 20s, I wasted a lot of time, money and energy on events and nights out that were rarely worth the effort. It really is just the way we're wired as introverts (just try to make sure you show up for people when it matters)

 

[hehehe]

Hi everyone. I'll be moving to a new city soon and I don't know anyone there. Has anyone here had success with Bumble BFF? I've heard some good things and some bad about it.

I used it for like a week around this time last year. IIRC, of all the ladies I swiped right on (around 10) only two matched. One didn't reply to my hello. The other did, but was giving one word answers to my questions over the next few days and not asking me any questions so I lost interest and just deleted the app altogether. This was just one week though so clearly I didn't make too huge an effort to get anything out of it.

 

[Barbie2020]

I’ve got a few friends but not a group of friends. I have no plans with any friends this weekend but see everyone out at fancy bars and having an amazing time, I’m sat in front of the tv having a takeaway. I’m happy doing this but makes me feel like I’m a bit of a saddo sometimes.

 

[Apple In My Pie]

This has really been affecting me lately. I see younger members of my family going out and enjoying themselves and my life just is the same day in day out, the same people, the same things and I wonder what I’m doing wrong

 

[Feckoffcorona]

I came on to look for advice and found this thread. I'm married with kids but have no good friends. 2 ladies i class as my best friends but I haven't seen them in a year. They seem to have no interest in meeting up even tho i suggested it. Numerous texts go unanswered. I get people are busy but 2 mins to reply to a text? Another ignored my text to meet up, no reply at all. Family members arranged a hens then last minute invited me, like i was an after thought. It was all booked etc. No rooms left in the hotel etc. I felt really hurt by all of these. I'm very shy but friendly and a decent person. While i enjoy time to myself, i do miss the chats and the company of others. My husband has lots of circles of friends, never short of an invite. I do get very down thinking how i managed to get through school, college, jobs, and still not have a best friend. I've no sisters. I've never been a bridesmaid. Whenever i offer to help out anyone, they say thanks, but my mam /sister /other friend is helping. I feel like no one need me. Sorry, this has turned into a novel but just feeling very down right now x

 

[slugella]

I came on to look for advice and found this thread. I'm married with kids but have no good friends. 2 ladies i class as my best friends but I haven't seen them in a year. They seem to have no interest in meeting up even tho i suggested it. Numerous texts go unanswered. I get people are busy but 2 mins to reply to a text? Another ignored my text to meet up, no reply at all. Family members arranged a hens then last minute invited me, like i was an after thought. It was all booked etc. No rooms left in the hotel etc. I felt really hurt by all of these. I'm very shy but friendly and a decent person. While i enjoy time to myself, i do miss the chats and the company of others. My husband has lots of circles of friends, never short of an invite. I do get very down thinking how i managed to get through school, college, jobs, and still not have a best friend. I've no sisters. I've never been a bridesmaid. Whenever i offer to help out anyone, they say thanks, but my mam /sister /other friend is helping. I feel like no one need me. Sorry, this has turned into a novel but just feeling very down right now x

I'm so sorry you're feeling down. I've been through phases of loneliness and feeling the same way and it's awful. I would say to stop bothering with those friends if they are consistently ignoring you and not making the effort - true friends wouldn't be that way. I think when you are lonely and feeling like you have few friends it can be harder to cut people out as it feels like there is no one else, but I would put the effort into making new friends. There are so many people that may come into your life unexpectedly at any moment who will be miles better friends than they are being. Are there any hobbies you want to take up, joining a club or class could introduce you to people, or volunteering for a cause you care about- my mum has recently made lots of friends volunteering at a dementia charity.

 

[bubble_T]

@Feckoffcorona Regarding the friends who don't text you back/see you etc, I would accept that if I were you, don't text them, don't ask them to meet, just leave it there, they're not your friends and sometimes people cut ties with us for reasons unknown, you may never know why, but you have to accept it. You will meet new people, we always do. Concentrate on the things that make you happy and don't get too cut up about friendships, friends will follow x

 

[Kirsty25x]

Just found this thread and it was so reassuring reading through all these posts and how similar they are to me, I got bullied at school so never liked to go so got home schooled, never went to collage went straight into work the jobs that I've done have always had older colleagues so could never make a permanent friend from them, 2 years ago I started feeling really ill couldn't walk far without having pain been a long 2 year process but the other day got diagnosed with fibromyalgia which means it's looking like I'm going to have to work from home for the foreseeable as I get in so much pain. Because of all of these factors I have never seemed to make permanent friends and feel lonely at times I have one person that I occasionally just say hello to etc but it never goes further. Some days it don't bother me a I have a amazing relationship with my mother we do everything together but other days I think I'm 26 now is this what my life is going to be like forever it does affect me more than I let on especially when I see post on social media about friends doing nice things together I think will I ever have that?what's wrong with me etc

 

[Feckoffcorona]

Thanks for taking the time to respond. Having a down few days but I'll be grand x

 

[bubble_T]

Just found this thread and it was so reassuring reading through all these posts and how similar they are to me, I got bullied at school so never liked to go so got home schooled, never went to collage went straight into work the jobs that I've done have always had older colleagues so could never make a permanent friend from them, 2 years ago I started feeling really ill couldn't walk far without having pain been a long 2 year process but the other day got diagnosed with fibromyalgia which means it's looking like I'm going to have to work from home for the foreseeable as I get in so much pain. Because of all of these factors I have never seemed to make permanent friends and feel lonely at times I have one person that I occasionally just say hello to etc but it never goes further. Some days it don't bother me a I have a amazing relationship with my mother we do everything together but other days I think I'm 26 now is this what my life is going to be like forever it does affect me more than I let on especially when I see post on social media about friends doing nice things together I think will I ever have that?what's wrong with me etc

Tbh IF you have a good relationship with your mum (I only say if, because some do not) then that's the best kind of friendship you can have, she will always have your back, will always be honest with you, will always have your best interests at heart, will never stop answering your calls etc, and you the same for her, You can't say the same about friends, especially nowadays it seems x

 

[Sw4]

I have an issue and I swear it always happens to me but I'm never sure if it's just in my head?

I've just joined a new mums group. None of us knew each other before so everyone is new to each other and have no friends in common, and everyone is lovely. Yet on the few occasions we've met I always feel like the awkward one left out of conversations or being quieter than I usually am, because every time I try to chip in someone else is already talking and I end up interrupting. But if I keep on waiting for a pause so I can talk, I never get there because someone else is always talking. So a lot of the time I just end up nodding along, and now I feel like the awkward quiet one and that others are already forming closer friendships with each other. But I'm not sure if this is just my insecure perception. Why does this always happen to me

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

I have an issue and I swear it always happens to me but I'm never sure if it's just in my head?

I've just joined a new mums group. None of us knew each other before so everyone is new to each other and have no friends in common, and everyone is lovely. Yet on the few occasions we've met I always feel like the awkward one left out of conversations or being quieter than I usually am, because every time I try to chip in someone else is already talking and I end up interrupting. But if I keep on waiting for a pause so I can talk, I never get there because someone else is always talking. So a lot of the time I just end up nodding along, and now I feel like the awkward quiet one and that others are already forming closer friendships with each other. But I'm not sure if this is just my insecure perception. Why does this always happen to me

I feel like I am this person too. I have no advice but I can relate! Either I end up interrupting and feeling bad about being rude, or I keep waiting for a chance to speak that never comes, there have also been times where I’ve said something and it’s like no one even heard me. Feels so awkward.