Yes! Why does this happen and how does one avoid it? Every time I have the opportunity to make new friends I tell myself to make sure this doesn't happen yet the same thing inevitably does. Does everyone else feel like this but just hides it better?
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A lot of it is how you physically handle yourself within the group and conversation- are you looking directly at those talking, making eye contact, using open body language etc - communication is hardly ever about what you say, it’s far more to do with how you behave. Try making proper eye contact with someone who is talking and nod along, laugh, smile and when a natural pause happens then say your own thing while still making eye contact, using open arm movements etc
does anyone have any advice for a group situation?
So I'm not very good with people my own age. I'm fine with kids and proper adults but people in their twenties I'm useless with. I have to go back to uni next week and I am honestly dreading being class in person but in particular on zoom with people. I've come on leaps and bounds through covid with confidence but I can already feel myself shrinking back and not speaking again.
So I'm not very good with people my own age. I'm fine with kids and proper adults but people in their twenties I'm useless with. I have to go back to uni next week and I am honestly dreading being class in person but in particular on zoom with people. I've come on leaps and bounds through covid with confidence but I can already feel myself shrinking back and not speaking again.
It tends to happen because a real lot of people do not know how to behave in a group or generally with regard to talking. A lot of times people are just wanting to talk all the time and not listen etc. They don't seem to understand the etiquette of groups that you need to be listening lot and not hogging the limelight. Its nothing specific to you, its groups in general.I have an issue and I swear it always happens to me but I'm never sure if it's just in my head?
I've just joined a new mums group. None of us knew each other before so everyone is new to each other and have no friends in common, and everyone is lovely. Yet on the few occasions we've met I always feel like the awkward one left out of conversations or being quieter than I usually am, because every time I try to chip in someone else is already talking and I end up interrupting. But if I keep on waiting for a pause so I can talk, I never get there because someone else is always talking. So a lot of the time I just end up nodding along, and now I feel like the awkward quiet one and that others are already forming closer friendships with each other. But I'm not sure if this is just my insecure perception. Why does this always happen to me
A situation with one of my few friends has me quite low today. She has made lots of new friends and things got awkward between us since then, like my attempts to meet up were either ignored or cancelled, and conversation started feeling really one sided. I made one last attempt today to reach out and check in and invite her to something next week, and it was just awkward .. the response was one of those where it seems to end the conversation so I just stopped replying and am giving up now. That's the advice I would give to someone else in this situation so I'm going to do that. It is sad though that she was always so chatty and wanting to hang out until she met other people and just dropped me. 
She sounds a user, your better off without people like this in your life anyway. Forget her and do other things to meet other people.x Dont get upset, people do this all the time, that's why its best to have different things going on so it doesn't matter as much.A situation with one of my few friends has me quite low today. She has made lots of new friends and things got awkward between us since then, like my attempts to meet up were either ignored or cancelled, and conversation started feeling really one sided. I made one last attempt today to reach out and check in and invite her to something next week, and it was just awkward .. the response was one of those where it seems to end the conversation so I just stopped replying and am giving up now. That's the advice I would give to someone else in this situation so I'm going to do that. It is sad though that she was always so chatty and wanting to hang out until she met other people and just dropped me.
Trust me.....you'll be better off in the long term and proud that you listened to yourself and walked away. I've been in that exact situation and it happened many times over many years, covid and lockdown kind of made me see that 'friendship' as it really was, so....I stepped away.A situation with one of my few friends has me quite low today. She has made lots of new friends and things got awkward between us since then, like my attempts to meet up were either ignored or cancelled, and conversation started feeling really one sided. I made one last attempt today to reach out and check in and invite her to something next week, and it was just awkward .. the response was one of those where it seems to end the conversation so I just stopped replying and am giving up now. That's the advice I would give to someone else in this situation so I'm going to do that. It is sad though that she was always so chatty and wanting to hang out until she met other people and just dropped me.
yes she kicked off about it but I don't care anymore. My life is much happier without her in it. She is a user and I ignored it/didn't want to admit that for all those years. I'm now trying to re-educate myself on what friendship really is as I'm kind of scarred by hers
Thank you both for replying.Trust me.....you'll be better off in the long term and proud that you listened to yourself and walked away. I've been in that exact situation and it happened many times over many years, covid and lockdown kind of made me see that 'friendship' as it really was, so....I stepped away.
yes she kicked off about it but I don't care anymore. My life is much happier without her in it. She is a user and I ignored it/didn't want to admit that for all those years. I'm now trying to re-educate myself on what friendship really is as I'm kind of scarred by hers
I am going to walk away. I'm still sad about it but that's ok, I think it's normal to feel down about losing a friend but it will be for the best in the long run like you say. Jeez friendships can be so hard, I find them way more difficult than dating. 
Just wanted to check in here and say that if you are struggling with no friends , it does get better
I joined a local mum Meetup group on the app Meetup and have made two lovely friends from attending events , im currently 12 weeks pregnant and one is 20 weeks so we’ve been bonding over that … we had lunch together today and it was lovely and I finally feel normal after 3+ years of living here and only having my husband
id really recommend getting on Meetup and seeing what’s in your area , in our area there were lots of groups for all sorts of people : mums , book clubs , young professional groups , walking groups , even one for singles !
it has really helped me & I hope it helps some of you too
🩹
I joined a local mum Meetup group on the app Meetup and have made two lovely friends from attending events , im currently 12 weeks pregnant and one is 20 weeks so we’ve been bonding over that … we had lunch together today and it was lovely and I finally feel normal after 3+ years of living here and only having my husband
id really recommend getting on Meetup and seeing what’s in your area , in our area there were lots of groups for all sorts of people : mums , book clubs , young professional groups , walking groups , even one for singles !
it has really helped me & I hope it helps some of you too
🩹
You assume that some of us want to make friendsJust wanted to check in here and say that if you are struggling with no friends , it does get better
I joined a local mum Meetup group on the app Meetup and have made two lovely friends from attending events , im currently 12 weeks pregnant and one is 20 weeks so we’ve been bonding over that … we had lunch together today and it was lovely and I finally feel normal after 3+ years of living here and only having my husband
id really recommend getting on Meetup and seeing what’s in your area , in our area there were lots of groups for all sorts of people : mums , book clubs , young professional groups , walking groups , even one for singles !
it has really helped me & I hope it helps some of you too
Haha most of the people I’ve chatted to on this thread do , but nothing wrong with limiting your contact with other humansYou assume that some of us want to make friends
It’s like it was written for me
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I find friendships can be more complicated than relationships.
I think, for me, I didn't really have much self confidence and as a result I didn't really have any boundaries so I allowed people to be disrespectful.
I'm only now really began to recognise it and I'm working on it. But it isn't easy.
Here's to those in unhappy friendships or those wanting more friends. It's nice to have this platform to talk about it on.
I think, for me, I didn't really have much self confidence and as a result I didn't really have any boundaries so I allowed people to be disrespectful.
I'm only now really began to recognise it and I'm working on it. But it isn't easy.
Here's to those in unhappy friendships or those wanting more friends. It's nice to have this platform to talk about it on.
i saw that last night on fb and had to take a screen shot..it was the wrapped up in a blanket with a glass of red that struck a cord with me !
I'm too cynical for things like that . I find it easy to make acquaintances ( which I think is all that would come from that)Just wanted to check in here and say that if you are struggling with no friends , it does get better
I joined a local mum Meetup group on the app Meetup and have made two lovely friends from attending events , im currently 12 weeks pregnant and one is 20 weeks so we’ve been bonding over that … we had lunch together today and it was lovely and I finally feel normal after 3+ years of living here and only having my husband
id really recommend getting on Meetup and seeing what’s in your area , in our area there were lots of groups for all sorts of people : mums , book clubs , young professional groups , walking groups , even one for singles !
it has really helped me & I hope it helps some of you too
It's lasting and closer friendship that doesn’t seem to happen.
But close long lasting friendships have to start somewhere. You don’t just walk into a close friendship- you start off as acquaintances and as you spend time together and get to know eachother over time it develops into something more as you get closer. You have to be open to it and give people a chance before you write it off from the start or you’ll never know
But actively searching on an app feels a bit like trying too hard to me.
I think it's better to have acquaintances than someone you thought was a friend.
After reading a few pages on here I definitely relate to a lot of other people. I had quite a few close friends in high school but the years after finishing drifted apart from most of them. Always felt like I was the one left out of conversations and meet ups. Didn’t really make any friends at uni (always felt like I was bullied by my flat mates but that’s trauma for another day). Now I’m almost 30 and still have my best friend from school who I talk to almost everyday but wish I had more friends. I’ve just got out of a long term relationship and he’d become my best friend and so now I don’t know who to talk to about mundane day to day life stuff with. I also feel bad on my one friend that I have to vent out all my issues onto her as I worry she’ll get sick of me and has her own life to deal with.
I don’t really have anyone at work to hang out with as I work in a shop and it’s just me and the manager who is over double my age. anyone know how and where to find friends?
I don’t really have anyone at work to hang out with as I work in a shop and it’s just me and the manager who is over double my age. anyone know how and where to find friends?
I feel this in my soul. I haven't found a place to make friends eitherAfter reading a few pages on here I definitely relate to a lot of other people. I had quite a few close friends in high school but the years after finishing drifted apart from most of them. Always felt like I was the one left out of conversations and meet ups. Didn’t really make any friends at uni (always felt like I was bullied by my flat mates but that’s trauma for another day). Now I’m almost 30 and still have my best friend from school who I talk to almost everyday but wish I had more friends. I’ve just got out of a long term relationship and he’d become my best friend and so now I don’t know who to talk to about mundane day to day life stuff with. I also feel bad on my one friend that I have to vent out all my issues onto her as I worry she’ll get sick of me and has her own life to deal with.
I don’t really have anyone at work to hang out with as I work in a shop and it’s just me and the manager who is over double my age. anyone know how and where to find friends?
What are your own interests? Start there. Start getting involved in things you like - be it a sport, hobby, interest etc - join a club, a group, online or in real life, physically go out and do things, see what’s on at your local community spaces, volunteer, take up an unpaid job etc etc etc but do things that interest YOU, and through that you will find like minded people.After reading a few pages on here I definitely relate to a lot of other people. I had quite a few close friends in high school but the years after finishing drifted apart from most of them. Always felt like I was the one left out of conversations and meet ups. Didn’t really make any friends at uni (always felt like I was bullied by my flat mates but that’s trauma for another day). Now I’m almost 30 and still have my best friend from school who I talk to almost everyday but wish I had more friends. I’ve just got out of a long term relationship and he’d become my best friend and so now I don’t know who to talk to about mundane day to day life stuff with. I also feel bad on my one friend that I have to vent out all my issues onto her as I worry she’ll get sick of me and has her own life to deal with.
I don’t really have anyone at work to hang out with as I work in a shop and it’s just me and the manager who is over double my age. anyone know how and where to find friends?
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