Food & Drink #9 Vlad likes traazers on a bird

[Spoonfulofjam]

Haha these stories are making me hoot. I have had so many knickers (moved a bit) - grey, lots of green, navy. All of them awful and deeply unflattering. All girls schools so can’t imagine what it was like to be in your pants in front of boys. I had a leotard at my last school and I’d burn it with a match if I could find it now. So unnecessary. Also identify hard with the little and large teachers modelled on Mrs Trunchbull. I remember one pointing me out to the class as an idiot because I couldn’t tie my shoelaces. I was 6 and since discovered that I don’t have much in the way of co-ordination but why show kids up like that!

I remember watching a video in PSE about Leah Betts and her overdose and it terrified me so badly that I’ve always been even scared of being in the same room as an ecstasy tablet. We also had some burly men police in to show us how to poke an aggressor in the eyes. One told me I was feisty. Went out with him years later when I worked with a partnership agency. He was clearly a risk!

Frau, I’ve been physically running about in work today and haven’t had lunch. Feeling quite virtuous but also starving.I don’t want to trigger anyone here but does anyone else feel like once they’ve missed a meal, they could miss loads and then remember they like scones too much

 

[emm]

Maybe to avoid stigmatising STDs? That sounds a hilariously ill thought-out approach though...

as young people are (generally, I never was) lax about using condoms as it is, it does seem badly thought out other than that it was just videos of people's lives falling apart after smoking cannabis once then inevitably becoming heroin addicts. I also remember there used to be so many primary school ages "learning" programmes on during daytime tv that we used to watch, they seem to not exist anymore?

 

[EddieBeds]

we got shown a femidom with the teacher mocking insertion, surely no one ever wore them?

Oh gosh our once yearly lesson on all things sex/drugs related (can’t remember the acronym it was given) was so out of whack. You’d learn about sex one year, then not about contraception/stds until the next year and so on. The sex one the teacher running it told us how she and her husband had used Vaseline as lube and it had corroded the condom and that’s how her daughter came to be! Talk about TMI and both she and her husband taught in the school.

Not to be out done the contraception ‘lesson’ the following year our (male) teacher threw bananas at the boys and then a condom and told them they had to put them on (the banana) and not ‘to be shy about it’ as it was their responsibility to ‘put a hat on it’. I also think that lesson was the only time I’ve ever seen a femidom.

 

[emm]

Oh gosh our once yearly lesson on all things sex/drugs related (can’t remember the acronym it was given) was so out of whack. You’d learn about sex one year, then not about contraception/stds until the next year and so on. The sex one the teacher running it told us how she and her husband had used Vaseline as lube and it had corroded the condom and that’s how her daughter came to be! Talk about TMI and both she and her husband taught in the school.

Not to be out done the contraception ‘lesson’ the following year our (male) teacher threw bananas at the boys and then a condom and told them they had to put them on (the banana) and not ‘to be shy about it’ as it was their responsibility to ‘put a hat on it’. I also think that lesson was the only time I’ve ever seen a femidom.

did her daughter go ot the school too?

 

[Spoonfulofjam]

I’ve also just remembered one of our teachers saying that she enjoyed the effect of her husband’s beard when they were being amorous. Never gotten over that tbh

just found a babybel in my handbag (I think from Monday). You can bet I googled “how long can you leave a babybel out of the fridge for?”

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

as young people are (generally, I never was) lax about using condoms as it is, it does seem badly thought out other than that it was just videos of people's lives falling apart after smoking cannabis once then inevitably becoming heroin addicts. I also remember there used to be so many primary school ages "learning" programmes on during daytime tv that we used to watch, they seem to not exist anymore?

Omg yes cats eyes with the two cats & the one with I think he was a Spanish mouse.

 

[Eurgh]

we must be a similar age as those scents graced the changing rooms in my school too

O2 til I die.

 

[EddieBeds]

did her daughter go ot the school too?

No, fortunately her daughter was older/not school age so had the added bonus of being grossed out by the thought of ‘older’ people having sex - they’d have been near retirement age! Though can you imagine if she had .

 

[MooBelle]

Omg the whole doing PE in your vest & knickers was well weird they’d never get away with that now. It must be a Cabel thing to ditch PE for a ciggie. Did anyone have PSHCE as a lesson? The only thing I can remember is a police man coming in to talk to us about something, clocking me (fifteen year old me wasn’t exactly a stranger to the local constabulary) and full on grassing me to the

Omg the whole doing PE in your vest & knickers was well weird they’d never get away with that now. It must be a Cabel thing to ditch PE for a ciggie. Did anyone have PSHCE as a lesson? The only thing I can remember is a police man coming in to talk to us about something, clocking me (fifteen year old me wasn’t exactly a stranger to the local constabulary) and full on grassing me to the teacher.

In the 5th year (now would be called y11) we had a Police Officer come in to teach us self defence.
Well that's what she was supposed to do. What she actually did was spend 1 afternoon a week for a term putting the fear of bleeping god into us.
She hated men, I mean REALLY hated them. Told us never to get married and if we did don't give up our maiden names and to giver our children our surnames, not their father's.
She was supposed to tell us the law on self defence, but instead told us how to get around the law. Things like how carrying a knife is illegal but carrying nail scissors isn't because we could argue that we were girls and needed them for beauty!!! She told us to carry them in pockets in your hand and if a MAN approached just stab him in the eye.
She also said 2 out of 3 of us WOULD DEFINITELY BE RAPED AND/OR MURDERED by MEN.
She also said she regularly spat in male colleagues tea because they FORCED her to make it because she was a woman. She also said she wouldn't accept a cup of tea at work because she couldn't run the risk of it being 'doped' by male colleagues.
We just sat open mouthed each week.
With adult eyes looking back on it she clearly had issues and had been badly treated in the past, but she was hardly the person you'd call in to educate a bunch of teenagers!

 

[EddieBeds]

Omg yes cats eyes with the two cats & the one with I think he was a Spanish mouse.

Oh and the one with the blackboard and the invisible hand/pen writing on it?!

 

[kachoochoo]

re pe uniform, I seem to remember that we all just decided at one point to just sack off the stupid tiny shorts or skirt and wear our tracksuit bottoms. they couldn't tell all of us off!

and the spice girls impulse was proper lush

 

[emm]

re pe uniform, I seem to remember that we all just decided at one point to just sack off the stupid tiny shorts or skirt and wear our tracksuit bottoms. they couldn't tell all of us off!

and the spice girls impulse was proper lush

I found my bottle of it the other day during a clear out, unfortunatley it doesn't smell anymore. Does anyone remember the spice girls chupa chups? they were so yum!

 

[Alansbigplate]

having a mashed potato white bread sandwich and I don’t even care

 

[Falkor]

Ooh, been out all day and got back to a thread title! Thank you, Pocahontas, happy to carry you anywhere in Fantastica

 

[blurstoftimes]

Did anyone else have to wear specific short skirts for netball? A bit creepy looking back on it! I hated netball more than anything else...I would always choose to be wing defence and my defence tactic was just chatting with wing attack to distract them

 

[Toffee finger]

I found my bottle of it the other day during a clear out, unfortunatley it doesn't smell anymore. Does anyone remember the spice girls chupa chups? they were so yum!

Oh god you’ve reminded me, I had a memory box with loads of random Spice Girls stuff in including wrappers from their chupa chups! I was am a BIG fan

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Did anyone else have to wear specific short skirts for netball? A bit creepy looking back on it! I hated netball more than anything else...I would always choose to be wing defence and my defence tactic was just chatting with wing attack to distract them

Me, they weren’t even proper skirts just like a bit of material that pinned, I used to always complain because the boys got to play football & the girls had to do netball, I wanted to play football.

 

[crystaleyesd]

Yes we had a PC come in once and tell us you could pick magic mushrooms and not get arrested... it was only when you dried them out or whatever I don't even know if that's true or not but cheers for the tip mate

It's a trap! Never trust the pigs!

We also had a cop come round and tell us about self defence, but his advice was just like 'don't fight back, that's how you get beaten up' like whaaaaaa

 

[SoulRebel]

This was a lovely thing that happened in the rain here earlier today, hundreds of swallows gathered outside then whirled around and made their way south for the winter.
I still have awful memories of PE at school, I was a small fast girl and expected to be competitive but was always utterly bored by any sports. We had a vicious woman teacher and I can remember her yanking my hair back and screaming into my face 'don't you care who wins?' If any big sporty girl wanted a ball I used to lob it straight to her

 

[crystaleyesd]

We also had the great traaaaaazer campaign in my first year at school - I much preferred wearing skirts but we weren't even allowed the option of trousers. We never did manage to get it overturned though :/ . I was also frequently given 'order marks' (bad) for my panda eyeliner and brightly coloured dyed hair. I'd done it shocking red once and my physics teacher hauled me out of the lunch queue when she saw me and said there was no way I was coming in her classroom looking like that. Jokes on her - it was the last week of term so I just bunked off the rest of her lessons and kept my dye job