Food and Drink #53

[Lazarus]

subject change
Around 6/7 weeks ago I was involved in recruitment in work, and sat on an interview panel. The candidate we offered the job to wasn’t my preferred person, none of them were. The two others on the panel with me scored this guy highest and so he got through.
Anyway, he’s due to start with us in a few weeks. In the meantime he’s been emailing me, the other two panel members, and our admin team who set up the interview DAILY because he wants us to fill in a reference for him to rent a new house. We can’t fill it in because he hasn’t started. We’ve told him this, we’ve also told him it has to go to our HR team.
EVERY SINGLE DAY he still emails.
Im dreading him joining our team but hey ho. Anyway, I go on Facebook and lo and behold, he’s come up as someone I might know. I assume that means he’s looked me up.

I am furious at the thought of this, so much so I’ve deactivated my account. There’s literally no other reason he would come up.

 

[Captainmouse]

 

[Wooh]

Spoiler

This might be a daft idea but would a weighted pillow/stuffed toy that’s about the same weight as Dr Pooh help? In my old job I modified a toy dog into a weighted toy for one of my students because when she first joined us she struggled to sleep without her family dog . It had a removable T-shirt on that used to go home when she did to get her dog smell on it too. I know it won’t be anywhere near the same as having Pooh with you but the familiar weight might be reassuring. Sending large duck hugs to the upside down

This is a beautiful idea.

@MaineCoonMama I don't want to make you feel sad all over again.

But a little story from me, is that sometimes in the very sad place of "changing the guard" after a beloved cat has died, I've noticed that my "succession cat" takes on some of their partner's habits.

Some things feel natural, eg Cat 2 moves from bottom right side of bed to top left - I think that's just a natural territorial status thing.

Bit sometimes, more ethereal habits emerge: a cat will start a particular style of rolling into me, or suddenly allow me to rub its belly, or jump into the car when s/he never did before.

I know I sound mad, and I know it's just me looking for patterns or the cats adapting to my body language, but it gives me a lot of pleasure thinking that a little piece of spirit is passed on and on.

Aaaarggh I sound crazy!!!!! This is because I am a very odd person who feels things.

Also, a friend last week called me a "disruptor". Literally the best compliment ever.
---

Had a check in phone call with Kestrelcat's foster mother, she was so happy to hear he's settled and thriving, it was really sweet. We went with a tiny local/independent rescue charity and I'm so glad we did

I'm so happy for you all.

 

[kachoochoo]

took a tumble outside earlier lads 🥲 had to be scooped up by the ailing mr kcc and an elderly neighbour

happy birthday eve to me!

oh and, cos I'm not quite feeling old enough, ive actually bought myself a stick off of amazon

 

[Lurkeryaar]

I still feel very sad today, and then feel stupid for feeling sad. I also made the silly decision to eat crap food all today so I now feel both sad and a bit sick. Ho hum ho hum.

 

[zetta buttons]

Spoiler: Smol health rant

Going through a bad patch, ninnies. Constant nausea is almost bringing me to tears and this headache is sending me cross-eyed. It just won't fuck off no matter what I do. This is when I'm really missing my boy, he'd be in bed with me cuddling up with his super Pooh-powers. I did get a good cuddle from Thor last night but he took off after 10 minutes. Just feeling really sore and sorry for myself this past week.

Can’t send any headache remedies across the world. I can send a baby tunnel dog.

A member’s device at work measures bp. I have no idea how that works accurately because I thought it had to be tight on the upper arm. They get all stressed when it’s high which then sets off a cycle of shit. I binned sold my coros on Vinted because it became my crutch and was telling me I wasn’t sleeping. Totes.

Tesco was eventful. There were students filming each other. One had brought his tea (pasta) and was eating it on a china plate in the yoghurt aisle. This was the big Tesco btw. Honestly. It felt like black mirror.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Once my Harold did something so dickish that I actually stopped speaking to him because he shit me to tears just looking at him. On the fourth day of ignoring him he said "So, are you not talking to me then?" I burst out laughing because it was such a stupid thing to say.

I do agree that women mostly take on the mental load of running a house, I often have to remind my Harold to do things even though he has eyes and a working brain. I used to just 'do it myself' to save the hassle but these days I can't empty the bin or change kitty litter without hurting myself.

 

[Captainmouse]

 

[Captainmouse]

 

[zetta buttons]

Caturday double deal. I was trying to find a funny one of Thor all pretzelled up but found this instead.View attachment 3009601

I have no words. Sending you hugs MCM. You live among Gods and Godesses.

Fakecaturday. Tunnel dog in her element.

 

[BubbleDuck]

Cold and drizzly today, the cats are generously allowing me a smol area just at the edge of the bed so I'm staying here for a while.
Caturday Bonus, she's Batman.
View attachment 2967537

best superhero around if you ask me !

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Spoiler

This might be a daft idea but would a weighted pillow/stuffed toy that’s about the same weight as Dr Pooh help? In my old job I modified a toy dog into a weighted toy for one of my students because when she first joined us she struggled to sleep without her family dog . It had a removable T-shirt on that used to go home when she did to get her dog smell on it too. I know it won’t be anywhere near the same as having Pooh with you but the familiar weight might be reassuring. Sending large duck hugs to the upside down

That's a really good idea, when I stay at my brother's his wife puts a toy lion on the bed for me as they don't keep pets. (They're on 11 acres with kangaroos and possums galore.
Sidey, sending love from cold and rainy Melbourne, paws from Susan as well.

 

[kachoochoo]

and, here I am

40, feeling 70, eating jerky late at night

here's to the second half of life, I guess

 

[Captainmouse]

 

[Lazarus]

Thanks for asking ZB, i've been awake since 4 going over and over this in my head. i should have gone with my gut and not pursued it when they didn't offer me a disability confident guaranteed interview because of an oversight. since then it's been a shit show - at that point i'd only seen the job advert which said the interview would be based on the statement of suitability; then i received a fifteen page job description (which said i'd be asked about certain CS behaviours so i'd then to prepare a load of written examples to talk through). and now i feel like i'm the one who made a tit of myself because i didn't prepare a presentation, even though i have an email saying 'no, no presentation or test on the day, just the interview'. when i read the JD i should have withdrawn; not because i'm incapable, but because i lead on recruitment in my work area and we would NEVER put out a JD that long - it just is too vast.

anyway, rant over. i need to try and re-centre myself and be ready for the job interview for the role i actually want, which is next week. this has set me back though.

thank you, and i'm so sorry for the misery.

 

[chizontiz]

the only thing tying me to it is a false sense of loyalty/my own unhealthy people pleasing tendencies (*)/the fact if I walk, I might leave someone I care for in the lurch.

(*) not helped by the fact senior people have been piling on the compliments and one has even said "we really don't want it to get to the point where you feel you have to look elsewhere", which was what triggered a heckin' great trauma response the other day, because it felt like low-key emotional manipulation (whether it was intended nicely or not)

and there was me thinking the public sector provided something of a shield against unhealthy working dynamics and loopiness

I totally hear you on all of this - it's nearly always our interpersonal relationships and sense of obligation that keep us in toxic workplace environments. Imo most employers know this and exploit it, whether consciously or not. Covid was a real eye-opener for me in terms of seeing the capitalism of it all - we were all pretending we were in the trenches slogging it out together, but we fucking weren't because those at the top were directly benefiting from all the extra hours everybody further down the chain was putting in.

I hear you on the trauma points too. I'm also diagnosed CPTSD and that definitely made it so much harder for me to leave because I projected so much more onto those relationships than what was really there which, looking back now, really wasn't fair on my colleagues. I held them in such high esteem (and still do!) and just wanted to do my very best for them, but when I was losing it I would genuinely feel so heartbroken every time I felt like I let them down, or worried that they didn't want me around (which was all the time, so I just got more and more neurotic).

I'm not saying all of these things are true for you, but I know that for me, things only improved when I removed myself from the situation and focused on what was going on for me. It sounds like you have a lot more awareness of the other things impacting on you than I did back then which is great! Perhaps you just need a bit of space to process it all, which is absolutely okay. At the end of the day, you really are your only priority. What happens after you leave isn't your problem. You're allowed to prioritise your own wellbeing (I know that's such a dog-whistle for pseudo-therapeutic bs these days but it's true!). It doesn't matter what senior, or any other colleagues, want. You need to leave for your own well-being and how they deal with that is their problem, not yours.

All said with love and understanding that 'just leave' is always easier said than done, but we are here to help you through the hard things x

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

I got upgraded to First once. Luckily my partner did as well or that could have been quite awkward.

It was night time long haul, and in First you get a seat that folds out to a full-length bed, and you get bedlinen as well. I made my own bed, because I am an adult, and a stewardess came and told me off "I was going to do that for you."

 

[Captainmouse]

 

[lilykestrel]

Kestrelcat had his first venture into the garden yesterday before dinner. He's started getting a bit tetchy and more mischievous so we figured he's ready. Little guy was coaxed onto the patio with Dreamies and munched some grass and had some sniffs and showed interest but was clearly nervous and happy to go back in. (So nervous he let out a massive noxious fart as soon as he was back in)
Suddenly remembered afterwards that the rescue thought his previous living situation involved him being forced to live outside. Normally post dinner snoozles are spent under the bed and you don't see him til 9pm but he was snoozing in my eyeline the whole evening. Don't know if kitty logic can extend to such more complex deductions, but I hope he didn't think we're turfing him out
Anyway he's just had Venture 2 before breakfast. He made it to the end of the garden! Then ran back into the house at warp speed. Then ventured down the side of the house and peeped at the front garden ... and then ran back at warp speed. So progress!
Also, my worries about wet food were all unfounded. He is now happily munching wet food for breakfast and dinner. Got a trial of Katkin because I'd seen a lot of people say it was good for fussy cats and thought 'well he probably won't eat it', as he'd turned his nose up at all the complete wet food we'd got in when he arrived, but the little sod loves it, so that's me administrating the defrosting of frozen cat food now.

 

[Nonah]

Boycat is kindly allowing me to share his sun lounger to catch some evening rays