Food and Drink #39

[Django]

Our little Spanish house and some of the residents, little Prettyboy had cat flu but is a lot better now.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Spoiler: Me rail - depression

I have had a DAY. I’m fine, everything and everyone is fine, but I really really need to stop being depressed, there are just so many things I can’t deal with.

I’ve got a psychiatrist appointment this week, the anti depressants I’m on just now aren’t helping, but it’s just such a long slog. I’m not expecting medication to be a miracle, I just want to be able to cope a bit better and take it from there you know?

Sorry, I don’t know why I’m writing this here, I’m not expecting anything, I just can’t rant to anyone in real life without them trying to find “solutions”, and just now I need to just get it off my chest.

 

[Wooh]

Lalala, I've started two weeks' holidays! Exciting, relaxing, no alarms. I'm "only" going to my mother's farmlet, but we'll be enjoying Opera by the Lakes , extended family, koalas and echidnas, competing in the make each other tea in the mornings Olympics; and I'll be stacking wood and kindling ready for winter and raking the long gravelled drive lined with native grasses and eucalypts (which is the only posh part of the farmlet!).

The Woohcats come with me on the 10 (including breaks) hour cruise. I know I've posted this pic before, but WoohCat1, in particular, does love a road trip with the roof open and the tunes blasting. Have a beautiful Sunday, *friends*.

 

[EllaEm87]

Spoiler: Update - tw mental health

Not sure where to start with this update. A month on and Mr Beds still isn’t home. He’s really not well still and doesn’t appear to want to engage either which is obviously making things hard.



I’m basically being painted as all sorts of outrageous stuff - I really get that’s he’s ill as ordinarily he would never be saying these things (not just about me but in general about anyone else) but it’s really hurtful and tiring. I’m trying to just let it slide over me but it feels relentless and it’s exacerbated by the fact his family would rather believe that than the fact he’s unwell so indulge his reality.



His behaviour is still agitated towards me at best, aggressive (verbally) at worse. Lots of micro aggressions in between because I’m following advice re safeguarding he doesn’t like. He’s never made me feel unsafe before but I do now as he’s so unpredictable at the moment. It makes me dread most interactions as a result and because I’m holding that boundary the cycle continues. He’s also really cold with me - which I get is because of all of the above but he’s always been affectionate and told me he loves me etc but currently nothing. It’s like he’s a stranger.



I’m waiting on Children’s Service’s to confirm in what capacity they can help. They have been really reassuring and understanding. Mind and Bipolar UK have reassured me too but I feel in limbo waiting for this nightmare to end and knowing there isn’t much more I can do as Mr Beds has to be the one to engage.



Also in the midst of this I’ve been offered a place on my course - it’s a two year course and I’m getting nervous about whether to accept. I think this is because of the current instability in my life but just making me question if I’m good enough to do it, whether I can do the juggle of work/course/child care and the fact I’ll likely be doing it on my own as even if the current situation comes to an end I know Mr Beds has a lot of recovery ahead.

And @EllaEm87 sending my love - we’re all here for you.

Thank you, first day back at work today. My anxiety is off the charts and I really wish I was back in bed. I just want to cry

 

[Falkor]

I'm really tempted to do one - my mum did it last year, but didn't make her results public, so she couldn't be matched with anyone related. I suspect I may have a half-sibling or two on my father's side, quite possibly in Kenya where he did his National Service, but as dad's dad was one of 10, I suspect I'll just cousin notifications galore!

The merry dancers are out up here tonight, so strong that even my phone can pick them up (proper camera has a flat battery!)

 

[MaineCoonMama]

I know you may have shared before but do you have a picture of all three majestic beasts together?

It's really hard to get them all together and looking presentable at the same time but my friend managed to capture them all watching YouTube.

 

[Lurkeryaar]

Hello Dolly!
is she the best? Does she love you?

She does seem to like me!! And has a lot of attitude already...

 

[Falkor]

Sorry, I am photo spamming today, but we had quite a bit of snow overnight and the ladies were very pleased to see me with a bucket. They're actually running towards an empty bucket because I'd already fed them at this point, but they're nothing if not hopeful! That's Little Nine leading the charge.

I took rugs down convinced the boys would be needing them, but they were both toasty - the joys of hardy native ponies!

 

[Showmewhereisaidthat]

Ooh can I join in with caturday?? My 5 month old babies. Brother and sister.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Virtual happy paws to everyfrau I can't even look at the MT right now, the pigs head talk makes me feel so sick.

Spoiler: Health

I'm going through a 'bad' stage physically atm, in some pain and feeling badly nauseous. I was meant to be at my step-dad's this week but I've had to postpone and that makes me feel like a shit person. He knows I love him and I'd be there in a flash if I could.

 

[binkbonk]

Hello ninnies grunked this thread on the way home, sending love to all. I have so much to say about the male harassment topic from a few pages ago (unfortunately) but I SHAN'T (tired)

Last minute entry for Caturday: Biggie Smalls

ETA almost forgot, congrats to @BubbleDuck on your ducklings

 

[Wooh]

This morning when I said farewell to my uncle, I know it was really "goodbye". He has (some form of) dementia and won't know me next time I see him. So he's at home with his children and grandchildren on rotation looking after him for four days, and aunt is whisked away for a break with my mother and me, as she'll be having a hard time in the next few months, we think.

So sad

 

[Emmapism]

@EddieBeds and @EllaEm87 us Fraus are made of stern stuff, even if it doesn't always feel that way. I'm thinking of you both and hoping for brighter days ahead

Spoiler: Work me rail

Today I am practicing saying no and not apologizing for it. Work has been and I've been put in a position where there was an expectation that I work a down week that had been written into my contract. I had predicted it might happen so got my manager to confirm verbally in front of everyone (twice) that I would have that week off. Then I went ahead and booked into the Dali exhibit with my friend, booked a haircut, all these other things, only to have them try and guilt me into working it anyway. So I channeled my inner bloke and said no. And resisted the urge to apologize like the meme of that teenage boy with a vein popping out of his neck As a people pleaser it's such a hard thing to try and not obsess over! Anyway that's off my chest now so back to work we go hah

 

[Lurkeryaar]

Thought you ninnies might like to see a picture of Dolly looking cute

 

[Universal]

@EllaEm87 I am so sorry to hear about how you have been treated. Heartbreak is awful but I promise you that you will get through this. One day you will wake up and know that you are on the other side and its a wonderful, optimistic feeling.

Spoiling this as its 'outing' although I doubt anyone from the meeting is on this forum I am working on a commission to understand how women and men use the built environment and how we can design safe streets for women rather than force them to change their behaviour to accommodate what makes streets unsafe (lighting, bushes etc). I was in a room full of men, mainly planners, when they were talking about how placing toilets in parks and town centres was 'unsafe' for women when one brilliant woman in the room reminded them that women and girls have periods and asked them how they propose they manage changing tampons and sanitary towels when there is no place to go. She said, 'do you suggest that women and girls just stay at home for that week every month'? No one clapped but I could have hugged her. The above chat about dodgy cabs and the previous chats about the poor design of NHS services for women reminded me of this.

Whats everyone up to this weekend? I am catching up on Tattle and ironing.

 

[kachoochoo]

gotta tell you lads this cos I know how we all love animals

so I popped over to the mini market this afternoon for fags. there's this one dude who brings his dog in when he does a shift. she's a tiny little chihuahua type who wears a coat that says 'baby' on her back (i believe her name is pistachio) and jumps up your leg when shes happy to see you. he... does not look the type to own a chihuahua

now I don't much like dogs, but I don't mind the little yappy ones. chihuahuas, yorkies... all preferable to to great labrador lummox of my dad's who tries to put a stick or bone up my dress every time we meet. the little ones are just a bit cross and I understand tbh

anyhoo, i got to the door only to see big hard man cashier crouching down, hand feeding tiny doggy a treat. he turned and beamed at me and went, "she's happy. just giving her a treat"

only it wasn't a treat. he'd done roast lamb especially for her! freshly roasted lamb! for a doggy! in this economy!

just thought it was cute tbh

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Jumping in, sorry.….

Evening(!) all! I’ve just been for a night out (I really didn’t want to go but it turned out ok), and there was a few times I almost mentioned here. I wanted to say things like, “oh my friend in Australia“, “my friend really likes Taylor”, or “oh my mates eat Dreamies all the time“ and many other things.

My point is, you are all so lovely (even if my random examples aren’t about you specifically), that I think of you guys the same as like think of real life friends.


I REALLY like this corner of the internet.

ETA omg get well soon @MavisBeacon x

 

[kachoochoo]

oh and I've skimmed the last few pages here, but wrt friendships over tinternet, I'm sure most of you know i consider us a lil matey group. idgaf if other tattlers (or indeed twitter cunts) call us cliquey

like, the amount of times i turn to mr kcc and go "well, one of the girls on tattle says..." is ridiculous and always about something different. we are the most diverse group of people ive ever been involved with online

 

[Lazarus]

Hello Frauen, sorry to be the bringer of sad vibes but …

Spoiler: Sads

mr em dumped me on Sunday completely out of the blue. Said he doesn’t love me anymore. I’ve been totally pathetic since, can’t work, get out of bed, stop crying. I know it will pass in time but right now it’s SO HARD and my self worth is rock bottom. I feel like I’m just fundamentally unlovable (an ex once told me that) and I just cannot get it together. I saw no warning signs, nothing. Please tell me dating at 35+ isn’t going to be a complete nightmare. I thought mr em was my future I feel like my whole world has imploded on me

I’m so truly sorry this has happened to you. How are you now?
You will get over this, it might not feel like it at the moment but you will.
if I can give a merail response:

Spoiler: merail response

the previous Mr Laz done this to me almost 10 years ago; out of the blue, just “I’m sorry, I don’t love you any more”. I asked if he was having an affair, he said no, though it later turned out he was.
I thought my life was ending - I was 34, we had just bought a new house together. I phoned the Samaritans because I felt I had nobody else to turn to; I lost enjoyment in everything, cried day and night and if it hadn’t been for my dog, my life would have been over.
then one day, weeks later, my mum said, on one of the countless calls I made to her “stop begging him. and stop crying for him. Stop crying for a man who has told you he doesn’t love you”. It was hard to hear but exactly what I needed. I done just that. I was still broken, and almost a decade later I still have some trust issues.
I started going out with friends, forcing myself to do it - and it helped sometimes.
You are not unloveable. Someone just fucked you over and made you think that.
I realise now, and that realisation came when I met Mr Laz the II, that wanker chops/devil dick done me the biggest favour ever. I didn’t realise I was unhappy until I found true happiness with Mr Laz.
I repeat, you are 100% lovely and loveable my darling. Wishing you well xxxxxx

 

[kachoochoo]

of course I was worrying for nowt. phone call went absolutely fine. said I'm probably not gonna be back next week and I know who to contact. and, because I've hardly ever been off sick, even this length of time hasn't triggered anything in the sickness policy! just need to keep the sicknote updated and if im not back in a month, another catch up call. oh and apparently I missed an assessment call from occy health that I knew nothing about, so I do have to call them back to reschedule

all good for now though

celebrating with fish fingers and chips tonight! yay!