Food and Drink #38

[EddieBeds]

Too short. Whats our password?
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Ah I loved him (the real one). There was a heartbreaking story in The Guardian about him a couple of years ago.
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@EddieBeds how are you doing today?

Ok-ish.

Spoiler: Update / me rail / tw mental health / addiction

Mr Beds went to the appointment and came out looking quite shocked and said the Dr had said about for him to return home the right conditions need to be in place.

He’s adamant he needs a diagnostic review and saying I lied to the Dr at the previous appointment and that he hasn’t done XYZ behaviour or anything to endanger the children (his parents are colluding with this). Today I’ve been told the Dr said something completely different about him coming back home and he’s claiming it’s just relationship issues. It’s so obvious he’s lying and spinning tales. I get he’s ill and it’s easier to make me the villain but it’s still hurtful. It also feels like it’s verging on gas lighting? It was like dealing with a child having a tantrum when I reinforced boundaries and he didn’t like it.

The only analogy I can think of and I sincerely apologise if this isn’t right or causes any offence (not my intention) is that it’s like listening to somebody who is addicted/dependent who won’t take accountability for their actions - he’s just blaming anything or anyone else. Though I appreciate while he’s ill and in the middle of this mania he won’t recognise what he is doing or be able to be accountable for his behaviour.

He also vaguely threatened me that it ‘will get difficult’ as he can just come home whenever he wants. He is so unrecognisable from who he is ordinarily it’s scary. And I’m also genuinely concerned he might just show up now (I’ve double locked everything so he shouldn’t be able to get in/make sure we’re safe) and do something stupid as he’s so unpredictable.

I just hope the mania breaks soon so he can engage with the relevant professionals to get the right things in place for recovery short and long term. Sorry for being a revolving door of doom and gloom.

 

[Charitas]

@EddieBeds please don't apologise I'm sure venting here is good for the soul. Can you get help from social services so him returning home is flagged up as a risk. I'm not really sure how to put this but am thinking a panic alarm or just local police station being aware any disturbance at yours is a priority call.
I think I would need to keep repeating to myself that part of his diagnosis is impaired judgement.

 

[Falkor]

Eddiebeds, I do hope that he comes out of it soon, this must be so hard for you all. Thinking of you xx

Spoiler: Badger has been woven!

She stopped there to ask for a final decision on cowl or scarf - I'm going with a cowl. It comes up well over her ears when she showed me both options and I shall be toasty in the winter winds from now on.

 

[Wooh]

Financed up to the hilt mainly. Credit card debt and loans. Both myself and my husband have decent salaries, a small mortgage. We are doing ok financially but we’re not able to afford lots of holidays and a posh car. We have no loans or financed items, we just live off our salaries. Yet I see people up and down our street with expensive cars and lots of holidays etc. I know they don’t earn as much as we do (this is not meant to be a braggy post… I live in social housing (shared ownership home) so I know the situations of most of my neighbours.) so I’ve come to the conclusion that most of it is bought on credit cards or finance.

It's a hard thought process for me; I don't want to feel jealous nor validate myself by assuming negative things about others, by which I mean, thinking they've taken debt on. I'm a single woman, my money and time has to do a lot of work. I find it "challenging". I've had to learn to love the freedom and pride that gives me. Recent large car and vet (bloody pony!) bills have me feeling a bit tense (actually reeling, but still fine.) The last year of big flood/life replacements is 5 years away from being amortised (it's cost me so much in funds and heart.) Yet here I am, glad to say it loud and no point other than and and

It's not over until we say it's over! X

 

[Captainmouse]

Adding to the cute factor

 

[emm]

I’m absolutely tit with money. Have two credit cards I’m paying off with about 5k combined on them. I spend too much in waitrose. I don’t meal plan. I have to have what I fancy on the day. I think I have really bad problems with executive function.

Same, I used to be really careful with money, when I lived with my parents so I saved a lot and ended up (with shared ownership and also family help) being able to buy a flat. Weirdly now I do need to be careful with money as I live alone on a not great income I am really careless. I think also since the pandemic it is worse

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Ok-ish.

Spoiler: Update / me rail / tw mental health / addiction

Mr Beds went to the appointment and came out looking quite shocked and said the Dr had said about for him to return home the right conditions need to be in place.

He’s adamant he needs a diagnostic review and saying I lied to the Dr at the previous appointment and that he hasn’t done XYZ behaviour or anything to endanger the children (his parents are colluding with this). Today I’ve been told the Dr said something completely different about him coming back home and he’s claiming it’s just relationship issues. It’s so obvious he’s lying and spinning tales. I get he’s ill and it’s easier to make me the villain but it’s still hurtful. It also feels like it’s verging on gas lighting? It was like dealing with a child having a tantrum when I reinforced boundaries and he didn’t like it.

The only analogy I can think of and I sincerely apologise if this isn’t right or causes any offence (not my intention) is that it’s like listening to somebody who is addicted/dependent who won’t take accountability for their actions - he’s just blaming anything or anyone else. Though I appreciate while he’s ill and in the middle of this mania he won’t recognise what he is doing or be able to be accountable for his behaviour.

He also vaguely threatened me that it ‘will get difficult’ as he can just come home whenever he wants. He is so unrecognisable from who he is ordinarily it’s scary. And I’m also genuinely concerned he might just show up now (I’ve double locked everything so he shouldn’t be able to get in/make sure we’re safe) and do something stupid as he’s so unpredictable.

I just hope the mania breaks soon so he can engage with the relevant professionals to get the right things in place for recovery short and long term. Sorry for being a revolving door of doom and gloom.

I have nothing useful to add, but ugh I’m thinking of you, and sending so much love and strength xxx

 

[emm]

Adding to the cute factor

View attachment 1984161

Its like a dog slash cat angry and puffing up their fur slash hedgehog

 

[traumatised sideboard]

@EddieBeds I don't have any helpful words of wisdom in this difficult situation as all my experience is being on the other side of it but I hope both you and Mr Beds get the help and support you need

Hotes you asked if there's ever a time when Sideboard Cat doesn't look affronted - the answer is a resounding no.

 

[emm]

@EddieBeds I don't have any helpful words of wisdom in this difficult situation as all my experience is being on the other side of it but I hope both you and Mr Beds get the help and support you need

Hotes you asked if there's ever a time when Sideboard Cat doesn't look affronted - the answer is a resounding no.

View attachment 1984713

Typical black cat expression

 

[HotesTilaire]

@EddieBeds I don't have any helpful words of wisdom in this difficult situation as all my experience is being on the other side of it but I hope both you and Mr Beds get the help and support you need

Hotes you asked if there's ever a time when Sideboard Cat doesn't look affronted - the answer is a resounding no.

View attachment 1984713

Imagine my surprise at seeing Sideboard Cat’s little face peeping out, looking like she’s just smelled a lingering honk. Then I went on to read what you wrote chapea, le chat noir et la sideboard traumisee

 

[emm]

Exhausted after a long day of waiting for me to get home from work and provide dinner and dreamies

 

[KebabGirl]

Friday night cat. She's had a tough week so ready for a good documentary while sat on my lap.

 

[skronkywildcat]

What a beautiful cat!! Oh I love grey cats.

 

[Emmapism]

Full of wisdom that one

 

[Lucy Aeroplane]

Cocaine rabbit, just shags 24/7 but never cums.

Oh god. This just made my mind hurtle back to about 2004, and not in a good way.

Spoiler: mithering

Can’t remember what was worse, cocaine rabbit or ket rabbit. Both totally tit, in different yet similarly pointless ways. (edit - by rabbit I mean boyfriend, the other stuff always seemed like such a good idea at the time, but never actually was.)

Makes me almost glad my Friday nights these days are largely spent cleaning/washing up, then going to bed early and getting sat heavily on by cats.

 

[EddieBeds]

@EddieBeds please don't apologise I'm sure venting here is good for the soul. Can you get help from social services so him returning home is flagged up as a risk. I'm not really sure how to put this but am thinking a panic alarm or just local police station being aware any disturbance at yours is a priority call.
I think I would need to keep repeating to myself that part of his diagnosis is impaired judgement.

Thank you and yes trying to link up with Early Help as a starting point but might have to go via safeguarding team if it continues.

I saw these on Insta and thought of you lovely supporting ninnies.





ETA: The first link won’t work - it was someone making a rat dance to Lizzo, very cute I promise.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Thank you and yes trying to link up with Early Help as a starting point but might have to go via safeguarding team if it continues.

I saw these on Insta and thought of you lovely supporting ninnies.





ETA: The first link won’t work - it was someone making a rat dance to Lizzo, very cute I promise.

Wishing you luck lovely

That song really is such a cat anthem, it’s all true!

 

[Sideboard Bob]

We were talking about Radio 2 on the Celeb Gossip thread, (justice for Ken Bruce ), but this feels like a safe place to share. Sometimes, I’ll be going about my life, and my brain suddenly sings,


“SOOUUNDS OF THE SEVENTIES! With Johnie Walker! BBC Radio Twooo”


Does anyone else get things like that?

 

[HotesTilaire]

We were talking about Radio 2 on the Celeb Gossip thread, (justice for Ken Bruce ), but this feels like a safe place to share. Sometimes, I’ll be going about my life, and my brain suddenly sings,


“SOOUUNDS OF THE SEVENTIES! With Johnie Walker! BBC Radio Twooo”


Does anyone else get things like that?

No but I’m getting “Gary Davies on your radio” and “Dave Lee Travis - so run and tell your mummy” so thanks for that. The Yewtree lads really had the evidence just resting in the BBC didn’t they?