Food and Drink #38

[Shimmering]

I'm in a lot of debt and have been since I was 18 and my student bank account gave me a credit card and an overdraft. It's been the bane of my life ever since and I'm now 41. It's currently well over £22k. I don't even check the amount anymore as it distresses me too much to think about it. I have big monthly repayments set up but as I continue to spend on credit cards the total amount rarely decreases.

I'm just shite with money and an impulsive spender. I don't spend on myself but on my children. Can't wait for payday tomorrow. I earn a good salary as does my husband but I can never seem to make any headway. And the last week of the month is always agony.

It scares me how easy it is to get into debt up to your eyeballs. We bought a house recently and the bank were offering to lend us up to £600k. Even with my debts. Luckily my husband is captain sensible. I'd be bankrupt many times over if it wasn't for him.

Um. Thanks for letting me unburden myself.

 

[MavisBeacon]

I was boggled when I realised that almost everyone with a nice car got it on PCP or through work (though that's much less common now, obv). I just always paid cash and drove bangers.

 

[Lurkeryaar]

Does olive tapenade count as one of your five a day? Asking for a friend...

 

[HotesTilaire]

Do you wonder how other people have expensive holidays and both parents drive fancy cars? Where I live its crazy - some of the cars on the school run cost more than my annual salary.

I would love to have a nosy into other peoples finances.

Where you live hun it’s either generational wealth, or drugs.
---
Another nice idea from the MSE website is to “snowball” paying your credit card off. You evaluate the rates and the balance, see if it’s worth shifting any to lower or 0%. Then you focus on paying one off. So you might make minimum payments on other cards for a year, to pay off one card completely. Then you throw all your money at another card, and so on.

it’s so encouraging to see a card get paid off.

 

[Universal]

The thing is @Shimmering we are not taught about money management when we are young. I got into debt as a student too but ended up in a demanding job in my 20s that paid well and because I had no social life I could pay it off. Its interesting to see how many educated and self aware people on this thread have been in or are in the same position.

I have been reflecting today and think that like you, I spend all my money on my children with the odd treat for me when I am lonely or sad. I have said here before that I grew up on a council estate and was raised by my Irish nan - I had a wonderful and lovely childhood but with no treats. Now I earn more than I ever thought I would but I take my children to restaurants and have holidays. Its not like its designer clothes, I just want them to have the experience as I didn't. I spend all my money every month. In reality my kids love a visit to the forest with their mates and a packed lunch.

I sometimes work in Parliament and the young people who work there either have a rich daddy or are in eyewatering amounts of debt if they come from a working class/middle class background. I speak to 25 year olds who have debt of £30k of Uni fees, student loans of over £20k plus credit card debt because they cant afford to live on their wages in London. I think that generation will be living with debt all of their lives but just accept it.

 

[Falkor]

Mr F has finally got off the PCP treadmill after two midlifecrisismobiles when he realised that the next model up, which he was planning to go for, was going to cost him nearly £2,000 a month. He also had an old van that he owned outright and realised because of the state of the roads up here he was driving that far more than the posh car, so he returned the PCP car and bought himself a shiny new van, part cash, part personal loan from Santander. Happy as anything with it!

 

[Universal]

Where you live hun it’s either generational wealth, or drugs.
---
Another nice idea from the MSE website is to “snowball” paying your credit card off. You evaluate the rates and the balance, see if it’s worth shifting any to lower or 0%. Then you focus on paying one off. So you might make minimum payments on other cards for a year, to pay off one card completely. Then you throw all your money at another card, and so on.

it’s so encouraging to see a card get paid off.

My hairdresser drives a Porsche Macan. You dont get one of them from doing my highlights twice a year.

Edited because of

 

[HotesTilaire]

My hairdresser drives a Porch Macan. You dont get one of them from doing my highlights twice a year.

Could also be dealing Cheetham Hill goods. The scouse economy is super complex, also a place where someone would spend on a real montcler (sp?) coat for £600 and just not eat or pay bills/rent.

 

[Universal]

Does olive tapenade count as one of your five a day? Asking for a friend...

I had forgotten how much I love this stuff. I grew up on egg and chips and now I love tapenade, anchovies and burrata. Its deffo one of your 5 a day.

 

[Hollaaa]

The MSE snowball is a brilliant tool. The DFW board was my best friend back in the day, when my crappy ex left me in a pile of debt.

My dad always says aim to earn your age, not owe it on credit cards. I think as long as I'm in the middle somewhere it's fine, I kind of ebb and flow with debt depending on where I am working and what stage of life I'm at. I do have a tendency to overspend, though. I like nice things like holidays and nights out and art and music and TV subscriptions and furniture I've chosen for myself, that kind of thing.

 

[houseofhoop]

It’s heartwarming to read here that most people spend their money on others (children, pets etc) and people say tattle is a hell hole for trolls.
At least you got into debt making life good for others, not spending it on spenny sideboards for yourself.

 

[Lurkeryaar]

I had forgotten how much I love this stuff. I grew up on egg and chips and now I love tapenade, anchovies and burrata. Its deffo one of your 5 a day.

And the bread I have with it counts too? Yes? Good.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Anyone struggling with debt if you search r/ukpersonalfinance for step change or Christians against poverty etc there’s lots of people who go to that sub to ask for help at the start their journey then come back to tell their tale which might make the whole thing feel less terrifying. It’s the nicest bit of that subreddit as it can otherwise be a bit judgmental and snipey. Also Clare Seal who is @myfrugalyear on Insta but also has a book on money management and speaks about her personal journey paying off a 5 figure debt, I think she’s qualified in something money related too now?

I don’t tend to pocket watch others as ngl think it’s a bit grim

 

[Universal]

And the bread I have with it counts too? Yes? Good.

Yes, absolutely X

 

[HotesTilaire]

The MSE snowball is a brilliant tool. The DFW board was my best friend back in the day, when my crappy ex left me in a pile of debt.

My dad always says aim to earn your age, not owe it on credit cards. I think as long as I'm in the middle somewhere it's fine, I kind of ebb and flow with debt depending on where I am working and what stage of life I'm at. I do have a tendency to overspend, though. I like nice things like holidays and nights out and art and music and TV subscriptions and furniture I've chosen for myself, that kind of thing.

i have definitely had two holidays in the not-so-distant past which I couldn’t technically afford but I was happy to put on credit cards and pay off. I am still thankful I did that as aI doubt I’ll ever visit those places again.

 

[mchops]

Really, really off topic, but I forgot when I was "wild camping". I got saluted by a duck

 

[KebabGirl]

Could also be dealing Cheetham Hill goods. The scouse economy is super complex, also a place where someone would spend on a real montcler (sp?) coat for £600 and just not eat or pay bills/rent.

Hotes, have a laugh at my expense. I didn't know for years that half the people here were wearing blag gear. I was a bit down one day and decided to buy myself some 110s as I'd wanted them for ages. That's Nike Air Max 95s for those outside the city.
Went to the pub that night in my new shoes. Weird guy sidles up to me and says "where you get them?" Pointing at my feet. I said "JD Sports". Then followed a conversation that neither of us understood as he thought I was saying a name of a bloke in code, and I couldn't work out why he thought there was anywhere else to buy them.
My mate arrived, told the guy to do one then explained to me about Cheetham Hill, in between fits of laughter!

Anyway, got another pair the other week and they are no longer £110, most are £170 Also bought some new office wear - jogging bottoms - so spend was north of £200. The sales assistant seemed surprised I was not paying cash! I've not carried more than £30 since covid started.

Money: the best thing I did was to list out my direct debits with the amount and the day they come out. Then you know at any point in the month how much you have left after those. And when any fixed deals are up for renewal. A pocket money account for general spending also useful. This is rather but I use an NFC ring to pay for day to day stuff now, and that logs every transaction nicely for me to see how much I spend in the pub!

 

[Bellaboos]

Where you live hun it’s either generational wealth, or drugs.
---
Another nice idea from the MSE website is to “snowball” paying your credit card off. You evaluate the rates and the balance, see if it’s worth shifting any to lower or 0%. Then you focus on paying one off. So you might make minimum payments on other cards for a year, to pay off one card completely. Then you throw all your money at another card, and so on.

it’s so encouraging to see a card get paid off.

That’s what I did. Moved the biggest and highest interest one to a 0% for 2 years to give me breathing room to target the rest from small to high.

I am lucky in that OH pays the big stuff (I’d be screwed if he ever LEFT) I just pay a few bills and I got lucky with Xmas bonus and a savings club payout to clear some of the rest

wish you tons of luck with it. It’s a great feeling when you hit each milestone

 

[HotesTilaire]

Hotes, have a laugh at my expense. I didn't know for years that half the people here were wearing blag gear. I was a bit down one day and decided to buy myself some 110s as I'd wanted them for ages. That's Nike Air Max 95s for those outside the city.
Went to the pub that night in my new shoes. Weird guy sidles up to me and says "where you get them?" Pointing at my feet. I said "JD Sports". Then followed a conversation that neither of us understood as he thought I was saying a name of a bloke in code, and I couldn't work out why he thought there was anywhere else to buy them.
My mate arrived, told the guy to do one then explained to me about Cheetham Hill, in between fits of laughter!

Anyway, got another pair the other week and they are no longer £110, most are £170 Also bought some new office wear - jogging bottoms - so spend was north of £200. The sales assistant seemed surprised I was not paying cash! I've not carried more than £30 since covid started.

Money: the best thing I did was to list out my direct debits with the amount and the day they come out. Then you know at any point in the month how much you have left after those. And when any fixed deals are up for renewal. A pocket money account for general spending also useful. This is rather but I use an NFC ring to pay for day to day stuff now, and that logs every transaction nicely for me to see how much I spend in the pub!

JD Sports is 100% likely to be the nickname of a lad who robs trainers to order

 

[Universal]

Hotes, have a laugh at my expense. I didn't know for years that half the people here were wearing blag gear. I was a bit down one day and decided to buy myself some 110s as I'd wanted them for ages. That's Nike Air Max 95s for those outside the city.
Went to the pub that night in my new shoes. Weird guy sidles up to me and says "where you get them?" Pointing at my feet. I said "JD Sports". Then followed a conversation that neither of us understood as he thought I was saying a name of a bloke in code, and I couldn't work out why he thought there was anywhere else to buy them.
My mate arrived, told the guy to do one then explained to me about Cheetham Hill, in between fits of laughter!

Anyway, got another pair the other week and they are no longer £110, most are £170 Also bought some new office wear - jogging bottoms - so spend was north of £200. The sales assistant seemed surprised I was not paying cash! I've not carried more than £30 since covid started.

Money: the best thing I did was to list out my direct debits with the amount and the day they come out. Then you know at any point in the month how much you have left after those. And when any fixed deals are up for renewal. A pocket money account for general spending also useful. This is rather but I use an NFC ring to pay for day to day stuff now, and that logs every transaction nicely for me to see how much I spend in the pub!

I remember when I first used to go for an (underage) drink in the village and you would have random people asking if you wanted to buy bacon, batteries or cheese.

Love how you had to explain the 110s.

OMG just googled NFC ring. WTF. Like something from Tomorrows World.