Food and Drink #34 Big Pea!

[mince]

Best of luck dear heart, could you safely cancel this plan? Cos if so… I would 🫣 like sorry if this is majorly inappropriate and/or overstepping a mark but just having had narc experience (and then had them cut me off when I put boundaries in place?) I wish I spent less time ppl pleasing/playing the game and sat indoors by myself more. Also it’s not just that meal it’s the dysmorphia it gives u for days after where they’ve said a load of tit that just can’t be true and the emotional comedown after, by the time you feel alright again you’re back in work on Monday morning (assuming a 9-5 frauhood) and who wants that. I’d sooner sit in and watch some tit on tv and eat chocolate buttons??

Speaking of which did anyone watch that jimmy carr destroys art show?

Thank you! Yet to watch the JC or the one about big willies, and there’s a big bar of Marvellous Creations in the fridge door. So tempting. (I’m big on staying home, too, and tiny on people pleasing.) Nonetheless, I’ll get this done. I’m lucky because it’s been years (she lies finds excuses to avoid family get togethers where she’ll be challenged). I’m a bit curious to find out what her game is. I’ve an idea and will let you know whether I have spider senses or just hairy arms.

I’m not a 9 to 5er, in fact I’ve a not-even-one-tin tender to start putting together tomorrow, which at least rules out meeting up until Sunday lunch. Monday morning I have to take a blood sample for ONS covid research, if the narc has left me enough

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Here’s Daphne for you and anyone else who’s feeling rubbish, she’s in a very snuggly mood today!
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Oh Doobie!!!! I YOU!!!! Sending love to little friend CeCe too and all the other cattos and doggos

Spoiler

 

[MistyWindows]

Oh Doobie!!!! I YOU!!!! Sending love to little friend CeCe too and all the other cattos and doggos

Spoiler

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Oh my days that really made me smile dearheart!
I wish I could explain it to Doobie but I’ll just give her some catnip instead!

 

[MrsFawlty]

Lovely ninnies, I hope you don’t mind me posting here but I’m feeling shaky and know you’ll appreciate why. Months ago, my narc close relative messaged me to say she and the violent, unstable partner she’s currently weaponised herself with would visit my little town for a long weekend. I didn’t let it get to me but that weekend starts today and she hasn’t cancelled. She is part of the reason I’ve stayed hundreds of miles away since leaving to study in the late 80s. I’m meeting up with them this evening and really don’t want it to happen. However this evening might go I know she’ll be utterly toxic about it later.

I’m feeling triggered by stuff on the MT, but reading there is also helping as it affirms these people exist, they do these things, and I’m not deluded. Just knowing some of you will read this and send good thoughts will help me out this evening. Not-slop to you all and thanks for being here.

(Whilst typing this almost a packet of Jaffa cakes by my elbow has vanished. Good times)

Lovely Mince - forgive me if this sounds judgemental, I really empathise with you. I have a narc in the family who I have 'grey-rocked' since an unforgivable outburst. I didn't know that was the term for what I have done, I just went no contact apart from email for my own sanity.

Why do you feel that you must meet this person? I notice you say she messaged you to announce the visit and she hasn't cancelled, which sounds like you have been summoned without a choice.

Can you find the courage to say you can't meet up? You need only message as that's all she did to set this up. If she is going to be hurtful and toxic to you face to face and afterwards then what have you to gain from this? You shouldn't feel you need to placate them.

Whatever you decide, sending you strength, humour and peace. X

 

[traumatised sideboard]

I've found some interesting graffiti which I think some frauen will appreciate. It's no wankel but it'll do.

 

[MistyWindows]

I don’t know if you fraus are fans of the wildlife comedy photography awards, but this years came out the other day and I love it.

These images are for viewing only and must not be copied :: Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards - Conservation through Competition

www.comedywildlifephoto.com

Personal favourite is here:

Look at that boy go

 

[mince]

Lovely Mince - forgive me if this sounds judgemental, I really empathise with you. I have a narc in the family who I have 'grey-rocked' since an unforgivable outburst. I didn't know that was the term for what I have done, I just went no contact apart from email for my own sanity.

Why do you feel that you must meet this person? I notice you say she messaged you to announce the visit and she hasn't cancelled, which sounds like you have been summoned without a choice.

Can you find the courage to say you can't meet up? You need only message as that's all she did to set this up. If she is going to be hurtful and toxic to you face to face and afterwards then what have you to gain from this? You shouldn't feel you need to placate them.

Whatever you decide, sending you strength, humour and peace. X

Sybil, you sound sensible, not at all judgemental. Shall I sack it off and we can both go golfing (I’ve never been golfing but you’re the one I’d want to go with)?

Family dynamics jerk you like puppet strings and you don’t even realise. She lies and makes excuses, so I don’t, if that makes sense. I’ll see her but I’m not playing: making excuses feels like playing. The nastiness towards me and mine will be her bitching to others afterwards, that’s fine, it’s a sound bet that tonight she’ll be testing the waters about being nasty about family and friends. She can test away, I have a Paddington bear stare. She’s a pass ag coward, which is why she weaponises herself with others. She’s also famously stupid. Honestly? I’m nosey now. I want to know what her game is.

If you can make it to the 13th hole for a debrief later, that would be lovely

 

[HotesTilaire]

Thank you! Yet to watch the JC or the one about big willies, and there’s a big bar of Marvellous Creations in the fridge door. So tempting. (I’m big on staying home, too, and tiny on people pleasing.) Nonetheless, I’ll get this done. I’m lucky because it’s been years (she lies finds excuses to avoid family get togethers where she’ll be challenged). I’m a bit curious to find out what her game is. I’ve an idea and will let you know whether I have spider senses or just hairy arms.

I’m not a 9 to 5er, in fact I’ve a not-even-one-tin tender to start putting together tomorrow, which at least rules out meeting up until Sunday lunch. Monday morning I have to take a blood sample for ONS covid research, if the narc has left me enough

Dear heart, I know exactly what you’re feeling. I have no qualms in lying to these types. They are a miasma of selfishness, gaslighting and harm so I feel no guilt at being suddenly struck down with illness (actually these days it’s true, but in the past I’d lie about a pre-booked train, migraine etc) I also recommend keeping in mind you can take a break (go to the toilet. Yes maybe it’s IBS or a period, I am happy to weaponise these conditions to get some headspace).

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

I’m feeling triggered by stuff on the MT, but reading there is also helping as it affirms these people exist, they do these things, and I’m not deluded. Just knowing some of you will read this and send good thoughts will help me out this evening.

Sending good thoughts, strength, courage and peace to you.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Wow @SundaySchoolTeacher I feel like Sunday Cat is a sleb!
@zetta buttons glad to see you and HRH I tried the co-op pop dots and they were amazing, thanks for the tip!
Boring me update - Christ I’m still unwell. What on earth was it like before paracetamol? Hot and quite deadly I imagine.

 

[mince]

Dear heart, I know exactly what you’re feeling. I have no qualms in lying to these types. They are a miasma of selfishness, gaslighting and harm so I feel no guilt at being suddenly struck down with illness (actually these days it’s true, but in the past I’d lie about a pre-booked train, migraine etc) I also recommend keeping in mind you can take a break (go to the toilet. Yes maybe it’s IBS or a period, I am happy to weaponise these conditions to get some headspace).

Great tip. Friday night is patch change night, after all. Perhaps I could do that in a pub loo. It would take aaages.

Lying? As it happens, adult son is “poorly”, husband is “at an event until later” and adult daughter is in Shropshire with the folks of her new fella. No bendy fingers that time because she really is, the cow bag. She was going to be my wingman. Not daft, that one

 

[Switchstreetz]

I've found some interesting graffiti which I think some frauen will appreciate. It's no wankel but it'll do.

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I see after their third child the family on the left were starting to struggle with names, and took inspiration from a bit part budget hoop rinser.

You'll have to think of some coded Frau graffiti to sneakily leave for future residents in case they're part of the canal

We do, in fact, all love pitta bread, truer words have never been spoken

Great tip. Friday night is patch change night, after all. Perhaps I could do that in a pub loo. It would take aaages.

Lying? As it happens, adult son is “poorly”, husband is “at an event until later” and adult daughter is in Shropshire with the folks of her new fella. No bendy fingers that time because she really is, the cow bag. She was going to be my wingman. Not daft, that one

Remember Mince - COVID is on the rise again, running rampant atm. It would be such a shame if your husband/son or daughter was suddenly struck down by it and needed someone in to take care of them (perhaps one of them could give you a call at a set time to give you an excuse to leave after only an hour or two?)

 

[emm]

I've found some interesting graffiti which I think some frauen will appreciate. It's no wankel but it'll do.

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every time I see the name Jane all I think of is this clip

In cuter news (not mine sadly) but a friend sent me this

 

[HotesTilaire]

Great graffiti Traumy, seems like a mumsnetter got in there with the classic “lemon drizzle cake” I feel “lingreenie” or “rinsed hoops” is too obvious. If I were a graffiti writer, I’d go with a pic of an egg (inexplicably) or “4 MccPlants”

 

[zetta buttons]

Peas for breakfast, where is that laugh/vom combo reaction I asked for? There were mushy peas for lunch but I had three slices of toast instead as I'm not remotely hungry and that's easy to get down. There are some proper hench seagulls here that were eyeing it up.

Lovely to see you @zetta buttons and of course the stunning princess, we've missed you.

I have wanted to send you a wave for ages. I hope things are ok today. Or as ok as they could be.

Can mother sideboard smuggle in humus or maybe some Vego?

 

[EllaEm87]

I've found some interesting graffiti which I think some frauen will appreciate. It's no wankel but it'll do.

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RED ALERT IVE BEEN

Ps To you, TS.

 

[zetta buttons]

RED ALERT IVE BEEN

Ps To you, TS.

Is this a code relating to the graffiti or have you actually been ?

Lasagne and lemon drizzle sounds like an epic combo.

 

[EllaEm87]

Is this a code relating to the graffiti or have you actually been ?

Lasagne and lemon drizzle sounds like an epic combo.

Ach no, I’m just playing because of the scribbles! Never seen that wall in my life, dear heart x

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Is this a code relating to the graffiti or have you actually been ?

Lasagne and lemon drizzle sounds like an epic combo.

I read “Lasagne and lemon drizzle” in my head with Frasier Crane singing it (“hey baby I hear the blues are calling”).

Welcome back!

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Actually had a mild heart attack @EllaEm87 even though I know you're nowhere near me geographically.

I'm on day two of toast and Caribbean curry with inexplicable peas. My mum has sent fruit pottos, protein flapjackos and nuttos which autocorrects to buttons. Quite difficult to eat a fruit pot without cutlery, it's not v dignified.