Feathering the empty nest

[Ohflogoff]

I truly hope she doesn't use the baby for money... I dont think she will as seems lovely but you never know!!

Not a chance.

there is absolutely no way this will happen.

 

[barrrlohflaughs]

I think Elle is fab and I love her decision not to accept any #gifts for the baby (I’m looking at you carasuthers). I was so happy to read that she was expecting, even though I don’t even know her! That’s said, I won’t lie, I’m a little disappointed that I won’t get to follow the rest of her journey but; I understand that it’s completely up to her what she decides to share.

She must be so so anxious right now and I really feel for her and pray that she gets to bring this little one home with her. I’m the end, that’s all that matters.

 

[OutrageouslyScarlet]

I just really think another thread needs to be made. I don’t want to read the nasty comments in a rave thread. So perhaps someone can go make one to discuss what they feel is wrong with Elle and us on the rave can stay out of that one.

 

[Makaraka]

I’ve had contact with her, not recently it was after her appearance on HMHB and I’d dealt with similar and i just wanted to let it out and she responded she was so kind and lovely. I’d also had another baby in between anyway but still grieved my angel...
I can’t imagine how many messages of support or assurance she receives daily and she’s not a counsellor or an expert. I don’t blame her from stepping back and enjoying her little girl.
it’s an experience she never got to have at the end of the day!

 

[justwondering]

I never thought I'd feel so many emotions about someone else's pregnancy and to not even actually know the person! I really really hope everything goes well for them

 

[flowersinmyhair]

Instagram is not her job, she started it to promote awareness of baby loss and document her experience. She doesn’t owe anyone anything and people expecting replies and sympathy from her need to realise she is grieving herself and isn’t a professional grief counsellor nor held herself out to be . I can hardly imagine how difficult it was being pregnant again after such a tragic loss, the anxiety must have been huge and hundreds of people messaging her their stories of loss must have been overwhelming.

I hope she does come back and introduce her little one to us - I’ve been so invested in her story and so pleased she has a happy outcome . If she doesn’t decide to though totally her prerogative!

 

[Pinkii]

Her post made my heart melt and I love the name Olivia.

Glad to hear they are doing well.

 

[bexgreen1983]

From the blurb, I think it’s largely about pregnancy after loss, I imagine there is some about parenting a baby but probably not much. I know what you mean, I haven’t achieved anything on my mat leave

ladies your looking after a baby... that’s a huge achievement in itself!! Please don’t look at these people and think you have failed because you certainly haven’t

 

[ThePowderMonkey]

I don’t judge her decision, but for me as a parent who has lost a child themselves for me both my children are equal. They both deserve to be spoken about and celebrated. I know I’m speaking from an incredibly privileged position because I have my rainbow with me and I understand her fear, but I don’t think you can make decisions about ‘what to do and what to share’ before that baby is even with her safely. I don’t think she should be sharing the decisions yet with people who have supported her since day dot.

Her instagram isn’t a safe place for people who have lost a child, even seeing the words ‘pregnant’ can be so incredibly painful and raw for those who have lost a child. She shares pictures of her bump, which people know is from this pregnancy. That isn’t making your platform safe for those who are grieving. It doesn’t add up to me, I’m currently doing 4+4 and getting 9 here.

But I’m not Elle, what I may do and what others may do is completely different to how she is thinking she may do things.

You can still celebrate a child without plastering them all over social media though, surely. Honestly don’t want to imagine what she went through. It’s almost too difficult to think about so I think in this instance we should maybe just let her do what she wants to do and give her control of what she puts out there. She had no control last time, she was powerless. Honestly, anyone who has had to endure personal hardship deserves a very wide berth imo.

 

[Lreb88]

What Elle has done seems to be the best way to go about things in my opinion.
It’s such a joyous time, I can imagine the last thing I’d want is being sent a load of stuff I don’t really need, then having to worry about tagging the right people and #ad every time I wanted to post a lovely picture of my much longed for baby.

 

[Spider12]

[

In your opinion.

Yes, as is everyone else’s on this RAVE thread

 

[claralane]

I think it’s a smart move, I don’t think people should know your child’s name when you share where you live etc. Obviously I’d love to know.
But we know her surname, the area she lives. I would not be comfortable for 1000’s of people knowing that much about my new baby.
As for bowing out, I think she deserves to have this time. I think she actually deserves to not receive messages about loss for a while too. It’s important to put your mental health first. Also i hope she’s given people after baby loss hope, but seeing baby pictures everyday must hurt others too.

This exactly. She doesn’t owe anyone anything, she’s not like some influencers who rely on their following for their lifestyle and therefore should expect to have to sell a certain amount of their personal lives. She never set out to be famous unlike Hinch/Lydia Bright/Sam Faiers etc, she was a mum sharing her story of loss and she has a right to keep private things private.

 

[NosyWelshCow]

I highly doubt she will write a book about her daughter and that’s why she’s keeping things private, to make money from her I can see her writing about pregnancy after loss perhaps, if anything. I think people are just pissed they don’t know everything going on, people talk about wanting kids to be private etc and yet when a Mum does just that suddenly it’s because she’s got £££ on the brain!

THIS IS SPOT ON!!!

 

[SilverSpoonNotIncluded]

Of course it is, but then dont put yourself out there. What did she really expect.

Probably didn’t expect a following of hundreds of thousands of people, nor for lots of people to reaching out to her for support following their own loss every single day. She never said she was a support service nor did she offer herself up as one.

Please just go start a thread to bitch about her somewhere else

 

[Flyingbaby]

Elles face in the car has just made me burst into tears
I’ve never seen a lady look so genuinely happy and absolutely beaming

I’m so pleased for her absolutely over the moon

 

[xoxo GG]

Her bio says taking a break, so she should take one


Not everyone on Tattle Life follows people they comment on btw




No need to call people names


I agree. I reached out to her once and didn’t find her at all sympathetic.

She can take whatever break she fancies, no terms and conditions. The first few weeks with a newborn, especially after loss, are utterly terrifying. If she wants to take herself away from feeling obliged to post photos and information about her new baby, but still reply to some comments on a previous post or on what other people have shared, that’s fine. She didn’t sign a contract.

 

[Nellyboy]

It probably happened because like the rest of them, she isn't actually kind in real life, despite all the "Be Kind" tat they all have all over their homes. There's definitely a black list going around, I'm on it (my personal account), I can still see her on my business account. I used to really like Elle. I even sent her a heartfelt message after I read her book (I've suffered from multiple miscarriages and her book really helped me cope). And then she blocked me, it was a real slap in the face as I had confided some pretty personal things (shame on me). So, she may be doing all sorts of work for charity and helping others (well done her), but she certainly doesn't practice what she preaches. I'm happy she got her happy ending after the terrible loss she has suffered. But I'm no longer under the illusion that any of these "influencers" care a jot about their followers or how THEIR actions affect others. They drone on and on about how they are bullied and their mental health suffers, but they have zero problem bullying people themselves. Just something to be aware of.

Yup same . Tbh she was the first real fake instagrammer I came across and was so shocked because I thought she was so nice and often contacted her with what i thought were sweet, supportive and uplifting messages. I was really taken aback when I saw the other side of her. That was back in the good old days when I thought everyone on insta was genuine. Now of course I realise the big accounts treat it as a business. Shame really xx

I'm not surprised she has a book coming out, she's been dipping her feet back into instagram for a bit commenting on people's posts, and lo and behold, she's got something to promote. I get that Elle has done a lot of good and that is meaningful (I shan't take that away from her), I don't expect or feel entitled to anyone's content (that's bananas to think that) but she was rude to me and it was uncalled for. I hadn't fully read through this thread and it appears I am not the only one who had a rude response from her when they reached out. I didn't ask her for any advice, I didn't expect anything from her per se, I just thought she might give me a thank you for sharing your experience and praising of my book message (if she read my message, didn't even think it would get through as she has a big following, I was just very moved by her book and I wanted to tell her how much it meant to me), but I got a fuck off kind of message. It wasn't nice and she should know better when dealing with vulnerable women who are going through some pretty rotten shit.

I should have quoted it but someone said earlier on here, "what people perceive as rude" - it's not what people "perceive" as rude, she IS rude and it's absolute crap for people to dismiss that because they just love Elle oh so very much. She has chosen to write a book and put herself out there, no one forced her. I bought her book, wrote positive reviews on amazon, goodreads, and audible, and she was unkind to me after sharing my experience, thanking her for making me feel less alone, and praising her book. Then I realized she had blocked me from her stories but not her grid, because hey, I might be a customer again and she could promote her new book to people like me who had bought the first. I legit wished I could return her book after the response I got from her, I deleted all my positive reviews and unfollowed her. You guys think you know her because you see a tiny snip it of her good deeds and put her up on a pedestal of untouchability because she lost a child, and I feel for her on that, I really do, but that doesn't mean she has carte blanche to treat people unkindly.



I tried to edit this but I didn't realize there's a time limit. She simply could have not responded, like someone else said. The things is, presumably she wrote her book for altruistic reasons, right? She should understand that books can have a huge impact on people, especially books about something like this. People will want to get in touch and tell you how much your writing meant to them. It's not unreasonable to expect, if they are going to take the time to reply to you, that they would at least reply with a generic message that was kindhearted and gracious if they want boundaries - something like, 'I appreciate your message, however I'm just one person and I cannot reply to everyone individually, please know I appreciate all you have shared with me and your support of Teddy's Wish or Tommy's' or whatever charity it is her book and she supports - instead of a rude, I haven't got the time for this style message. Cool, thanks. I'll remember that next time I'm in the bookshop. And before someone says, "she doesn't have to support all of the people it's hard for her", I didn't brain dump on her, I didn't share anything triggering, I'm not an idiot, I've been through the same things as her, I know how to behave. It was just jarring and hurtful and really, really unexpected.

Wow your experience of her is near on identical to my own . Firstly I’m so sorry to hear of the sad times you have gone through, sending my love and support. Secondly people think Elle is some kind of saint but IMO she is actually very fake. She is calculating and only now she’s popping up again because of the new book. She was very rude and abrasive to me. I have a private account, very small amount of followers and I guess just not important enough to her for her to make an effort. I’m glad I’m not following her anymore as I don’t like fake people who make out they are something they’re not. Opinions are my own of course.

 

[Hereforgossip]

I think she's an Instagram treat. A lot of accounts could learn from her.

Isn’t she. When I saw she was pregnant I honestly felt so happy for her. She has been through so much and I hope everything goes well for her and her dreams come true and that Teddy’s brother or sister come home safely xxx

 

[xoxo GG]

I do think having an issue with the photos is an incredibly personal thing. 3 years ago when my first baby was stillborn, I went on a total purge and unfollowed and removed accounts that could cause me pain. I hid posts from pregnant friends to avoid having to see it.

I would have been absolutely heartbroken if somewhere I thought wouldn’t trigger me, did. And that’s absolutely fine that I’d of felt that way. It’s also fine that she posted photos, she shouldn’t have to hide away and pretend it wasn’t happening once she made that decision to share. But life after loss is different for everybody. It’s ultimately up to everybody to protect themselves over depend on somebody to do it for them.

 

[OutrageouslyScarlet]

The thing I don’t understand is if Elle has said she’s taking a break then take a break. Don’t get me wrong I like her a lot. But why set up another account.

I suppose for the Same reasons most of us have social media. To keep up with friends. Which I think is fair enough