Fathering Autism #6 Bandaid Dog, P tries to jog, Why won't they just get a job?

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Don't they have like a 7.99% interest rate on their mortgage? With all their past issues with money I wouldn't be surprised if they already have miserable credit scores.
 
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I have a lot of experience working with ABA and autism. I do understand that Abbie has IDD even though they say her primary diagnosis is autism. This is fine with me. From what we see on the vlogs (I know it is not the full picture), I would like to point out that I believe that Abbie’s biggest hurdle is the lack of consistency, stimulation, routine, structure, ABA techniques properly being used by parents and caregivers is her biggest hurdle- not her autism or IDD.
I have worked with children with a dual-diagnosis of autism and IDD and with proper implementation of all of the things I just listed, they are able to learn new skills and gain some independence in areas that Abbie has not. I do not believe that the IDD can be to blame for her lack of skill retention.
 
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What kills me is they always talk about how she HATES routine. But they've also talked about how once she's comfortable with a routine, she's acts out more because she's not nervous and distracted. So that leads me to think that she doesn't hate routine, they just don't want to deal with her actually needing attention when she's in a routine that isn't constantly throwing her into confusion and distracting her.

If she's stable and knows what's coming they might need to fill the empty time in their schedule with something meaningful and that's too much work. Easier to distract her with Dunkin and trips.
 
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FB gets the larger cut of that, but now that they have a business mgr, lawyers and a CPA I am sure they are covering their bases.
 
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I agree-they need to give her attention. Her “attention-seeking” behaviours are the only way she knows how to ask for attention. An option would be to teach her how to appropriately ask/sign/tap for attention (effortful to teach)- but then they would have to actually honor those requests.
I remember how when she had ABA with Brandy, they would use that red file-folder schedule and Abbie was constantly referring to it- which suggests she likes routine and knowing what is coming up!
 
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It's also extremely heartbreaking that "attention-seeking" is always talked about like she's misbehaving or being bad. She wants attention and that's not a bad thing.... they never give her any. She's not being a bad kid, she just wants stimulation. They act like she's purposefully misbehaving but they don't give her anything to do but rock.
 
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There are some wonderful private FB groups I’m a part of, such as Autism Inclusivity, which has 14k+ people if I’m not wrong. It has heaps of resources and tips, where parents get to ask questions and hear back from (mostly) autistic adults
Funnily enough, P *was* in that groups for a while because the mods wanted to give her a chance to learn from autistic people. That didn’t happen, she just continued to defend her family like always and still showed no interest in learning from #ActuallyAutistic people...
 
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This is random but it's been on my mind for so long...
It's reflects so poorly on JSA that they let Asa go around filming everything for monetized content. Not just Abbie's individual things, but all around the school. There are so many videos where he's filmed the other students. Directly and indirectly. Not even blurring their faces. I can't imagine they have consent from all the parents. I guess no one says anything because they help the school raise money.
 
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I'd love to link the KF thread to all the parents of that school (I wouldn't do that, obviously, but for argument's sake) and then ask if they're cool having their kids on the vlogs. If I was in that school, I wouldn't want that family within 20 ft of my kid. I'm sure you're right that a ton already wouldn't be okay with it if they knew.

Asa knows about "shot lists" and "run and gun" and other lingo but hasn't figured out that he should have release forms for the minors in his vlog. Especially after he bitched about footage of Abbie being used in a campaign lol. You're a hypocrite, Asa, and not a smart one.
 
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Agreed. The first year and a half that I watched, she had a routine. She came home from school and was required to put her shoes away, empty her backpack and then put it away. She had a break, and then she did her work with Brandy. At that point in time you really could see progression from the beginning of the VLOGS until the move to the mcmansion. She went from constantly gagging and biting herself, attacking people, refusing to do a chore, massive meltdowns, fecal smearing, etc., and was doing better and better as time passed. They moved, and it all stopped.

Now Brandy only comes once a week. She goes to school,and her new "routine" is the bathroom, and a snack. She doesnt hang up her backpack or empty it. She doesnt have a chore or task. She sits and rocks. IDD or not, sitting all the time is not good for anyone. She already has OT for strength, balance, and hand-eye motor skills because she needs them. No, loading the dishwasher or picking up her room isnt going to be a job for her, but if nothing else it is GOOD for her in other ways. Her only job now is to rock, scream, snatch food and look cute.
 
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Yes! I have witnessed first hand how consistency, and the list you have presented has helped( not w some of course,as it’s NOT a one size fit all,different degrees,etc).
W parents who interact directly w their child( and yes,it can be exhausting at times) the child seems to calm down,and learns new techniques,skills,etc in the process( if it’s done enough times).
When a child is continuously being told to sit,what lesson are they learning. When one day it’s okay for a certain behavior,next day it’s taboo,how do the distinguish between the 2.
W a 2 parent household,All of those “helpers”,a brother,etc there are more than enough people to sit down w Abbie and give her more than just a “pose for the camera” moment or “go sit down” to get her out of the way.
Of course,some people have excuses already lined up and get mightily defensive if you even hint at suggesting there are other ways of doing things. So sad.
 
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You are absolutely correct on this matter. I follow another Youtuber who had to relocate his family twice because of stalkers. They started receiving tons of pizza orders and suspicious packages. They ended up moving into a gated subdivision with a guard shack.
 
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Here's a radical thought :
They don't do anything with Abbie because they don't want her to improve because she's easier to exploit and ignore when she lacks even basic communication.
 
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Don't they have like a 7.99% interest rate on their mortgage? With all their past issues with money I wouldn't be surprised if they already have miserable credit scores.
A$$a & Pigcilla have enough experience as burglars, so that might come in handy when they can't afford this life style anymore
 
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Here's a radical thought :
They don't do anything with Abbie because they don't want her to improve because she's easier to exploit and ignore when she lacks even basic communication.
I think a good many may see it way. I know I myself didn’t start out seeing or feeling that way when watching a bit back. But,sadly,and it’s sort of tough to say,it could very well be the case. What a damned shame. And sad as well.
 
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You can’t film in school in the UK. Not even if you blur out everyone else as it’s a safeguarding issue
 
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I agree she probably has IDD but this is why they call it a spectrum disorder. My son is on the severe end just like Abbie. As the saying goes if you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism. Everyone is affected differently.
 
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I’m on page 12 out of 35 so I don’t know how helpful anything at this point will be, but I cannot keep up

1. I don’t mind Summer. She had some maturing to do, but I don’t think she’s there in an official respite capacity. From what I gathered, she’s paid to do assistant work with the Vlogs/Social Media, and helps with Ab in exchange for room and board. I hope she pulls back and is a bit more professional but I see where there lines in her case have been blurred over years of being with the family.

2. Maybe it’s my history of working in medical care, but I don’t see anything wrong with opposite set caregivers. It’s normal for us to see a dad bathing his teen and have a meltdown, but at the end of the day, I trust A more than P when it comes to keeping Ab safe in the tub.

3. Not a fan of ABA. It seems they use a more modified version by not punishing her stims. I talked to a friend who has autism back when I used to watch them because I didn’t want to support anyone who mistreated their kid via ABA.

4. I doubt she gets SSDI. If they change the rules and I have to claim my wheelchairs, even I won’t qualify anymore and I’m not employed!

5. Poor Ab. They seem to have given up trying. She just sits and rocks. Maybe her preferences HAVE changed, but we do see she likes some sensory toys, especially those that make noise. Perhaps if they want to decrease the yelling stim without suppressing it all together, they should give her more noise creating toys.

6. She’s not, and never will be, a normal teen. So what?! Grieve what that loss means for you as a parent, then step up and love your kid enough to enrich their lives to meet THEIR needs. I get it, seeing your teen love toddler toys can be heartbreaking. She can’t say, “I love you,” and is uncomfortable to it’s prolonged contact or conversations. It hurts, but you get over it for the benefit of your kid.

I won’t even let the whole idea of young parents come into my judgment of how they’ve begun behaving. I basically raised my siblings, and I’m only 7 and 6 years older than them. My sister was a drug addict with mental health issues. She’s clean but won’t talk to me. I give her space. It kills me bit she’s clean and I am willing to grieve and feel the pain to make HER life better.

A and P need to stop trying to fill the emptiness they feel because Isiah is leaving. No amount of pets or stuff or treating Summer and Becca like family, is going to fill the hole. You’re still losing your eldest to adulthood, and you’ve lost your youngest to conditions you couldn’t have predicted. It’s time to give Abbie what she needs to be happy.
 
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Well said..thank you!
 
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