Fakeys Assemble #2

[Shesaidwhat?]

Hi all. Just coming on for a vent. Hubby has been really struggling this last week again. Not sure if it is the antidepressants he was prescribed or what but he hasn't been sleeping. Got some sleeping pills from the doctor. One higher dose did knock him out Monday but he doesn't want to rely on them. His anxiety was really bad again last night so he took a lower dose to try and fall asleep but it didn't work. He's so tired and it's making him so low. I feel lost and unsure what to do at the moment. I can't sleep either as I'm worrying about him. He gets intrusive thoughts and this lack of sleep is just exacerbating that more. The doctor asked if he wanted to try a different ssri but he'd only been on Sertraline for 5 days and know it can get worse before better so said he'd stick with it for now. But now I'm wondering if he should try something else. Up until 2 weeks ago he was ok and since it's been a very scary anxiety rollercoaster with no end in sight at the moment. It's just so exhausting not knowing what to do. Accessing help is hard too. When he's feeling really bad they just say to go to a & e but he can't face that when he's feeling so anxious. Meditation etc just don't seem to be working when he gets worked up at the moment. He's got no energy to do anything from the lack of sleep so just sitting in bed the last few days which doesn't help either. We have a daughter so he doesn't want her seeing him like this which makes him feel more guilty. I'm working from home as I don't want to leave him at the moment.

Sorry I can’t offer any advice but sending you love .

 

[The Duchess]

Fellow Fakeys who are fans of the series “YOU” …. Its based in London Baby!!!! You lucky people, it’s showing some spectacular places in London, where is that University??? My god its some building, beautiful. Anyway I started watching it last night and he has a new obsession and has killed someone already in the first episode sorry not sorry for the spoiler 🫢 Its Joe what do you expect Thats my night sorted!

 

[stargirl23]

Fellow Fakeys who are fans of the series “YOU” …. Its based in London Baby!!!! You lucky people, it’s showing some spectacular places in London, where is that University??? My god its some building, beautiful. Anyway I started watching it last night and he has a new obsession and has killed someone already in the first episode sorry not sorry for the spoiler 🫢 Its Joe what do you expect Thats my night sorted!

I binged it last week, it’s so good! Cannot wait for part 2. I hope some more comes to light on his past and it finally catches up with him

London is so beautiful! It was filmed at royal Holloway uni, my sister actually studied there years ago

 

[The Duchess]

I binged it last week, it’s so good! Cannot wait for part 2. I hope some more comes to light on his past and it finally catches up with him

London is so beautiful! It was filmed at royal Holloway uni, my sister actually studied there years ago

Holloway University looks absolutely incredible, the architecture my god we have nothing like that here, its incredible.
Ive never been to London, I will get there one day but I think id need a tour guide its so big!

 

[stargirl23]

Holloway University looks absolutely incredible, the architecture my god we have nothing like that here, its incredible.
Ive never been to London, I will get there one day but I think id need a tour guide its so big!

It’s definitely a place to go if you have the opportunity, I love it every time I go. Such a beautiful place and each city is unique

 

[Moomin12]

Hi all, just come for a bit of advice if anyone has experienced the same. I don't want to worry my family and typically the letter came on a bloody weekend so I can't speak to a doctor.
So basically my smear has come back and says I have hpv and abnormal cells. I have to go for a colopsppsy (however its spelt)
All I can think is I've got cancer and I'm going to leave my kids and partner behind and my youngest won't even remember me

 

[stargirl23]

Hi all, just come for a bit of advice if anyone has experienced the same. I don't want to worry my family and typically the letter came on a bloody weekend so I can't speak to a doctor.
So basically my smear has come back and says I have hpv and abnormal cells. I have to go for a colopsppsy (however its spelt)
All I can think is I've got cancer and I'm going to leave my kids and partner behind and my youngest won't even remember me

Don’t worry lovely I had exactly the same on my first smear test when I was 24. I was HPV positive and had a change in cells. They made me repeat the test a year later and it was HPV negative and no change in cells. They said it’s very common and can depend on the time of the month, if you have other conditions etc. they think my change in cells was because it was a month after I had a ovarian cyst removed so could be anything like that. I know it’s easier said than done but try not to think of the worst case scenario. Maybe you could use 111 online if you’re too concerned as they can give advice/send you articles to read about to reassure you. I hope you’re okay sending all my love xx
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Just sharing this so you know it’s normal to have the changes and most likely they go back to normal

 

[Moomin12]

Don’t worry lovely I had exactly the same on my first smear test when I was 24. I was HPV positive and had a change in cells. They made me repeat the test a year later and it was HPV negative and no change in cells. They said it’s very common and can depend on the time of the month, if you have other conditions etc. they think my change in cells was because it was a month after I had a ovarian cyst removed so could be anything like that. I know it’s easier said than done but try not to think of the worst case scenario. Maybe you could use 111 online if you’re too concerned as they can give advice/send you articles to read about to reassure you. I hope you’re okay sending all my love xx
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Just sharing this so you know it’s normal to have the changes and most likely they go back to normal

Thankyou I'm trying not to think the worst and stay positive but my mind is running away. Its a bit of a shock as I told the nurse my concerns because I'd put it off for a year due to being traumatised after my youngest birth and she said all looked OK, so the letter today came as a shock.

 

[stargirl23]

Thankyou I'm trying not to think the worst and stay positive but my mind is running away. Its a bit of a shock as I told the nurse my concerns because I'd put it off for a year due to being traumatised after my youngest birth and she said all looked OK, so the letter today came as a shock.

I completely understand. When I got mine back I was panicking so much too so don’t feel silly for being worried it’s perfectly normal. Hopefully all is okay and you’ll have a repeat test and things will go back to normal again. Just try keep yourself busy with your family this weekend and call the drs first thing Monday to get some reassurance but I’m sure you’ve nothing to worry about. Sending all my love

 

[ShowMeThe Money]

I married my (now) ex husband back in 1999 knowing he had issues around alcohol. We had 3 sons in quick succession & his dependence was becoming more clear to see. Eg bathing or reading stories to our little tots with the always ever present beer can.

For years I tried to desperately normalise this behaviour or kid myself I was imagining it.

It was only when I discovered he'd drunk drove 2 of our sons & belittled one of them for telling me that I had the utterly amazing light bulb moment that it was game over, he's outta of here, divorce is a coming.

The painful reality of this year, finally after he played dice on his ever declining health, that he passed away. I have 3 young men (18, 19 & 21) to support through their mixture of shock, regret, anger & utter sadness.

I'm so angry that in his final years he couldn't step up & be the dad they so longed for. He remained as ever wrapped up in his own selfish world of needs, lack of foresight & what was important to him & not his 3 amazing sons.

 

[stargirl23]

Having lived with my alcoholic brother I completely understand your pain. Addiction is such a horrible illness and it’s so hard to get through to those you love because they just don’t care or are too drunk to understand. They don’t realise the pain they are inflicting upon those around them having to watch someone they care about wear away. I can’t begin to imagine the mixed emotions you must all be feeling but if you need anything I’m here for you.

I hope your sons don’t feel too regretful, unfortunately in situations like this there’s nothing they could’ve done. You can’t help or change someone who doesn’t want to help or change themselves. It’s a shame like you say their last few years with their dad was spent in this way but I hope they don’t ever blame themselves for the loss.

I’m sure with your love and support you’ll all get through this together. You seem like an amazing woman for walking away to protect your children and put them first, but that doesn’t take away this must be such a shock and painful time for you all.

I really hope I’ve worded this correctly I dont Want to sound insensitive or offensive or anything. I hope you understand what I’m trying to say.

sending all my love and I’m so sorry for your loss. Will be thinking of you and your children in that difficult time

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Hi all, just come for a bit of advice if anyone has experienced the same. I don't want to worry my family and typically the letter came on a bloody weekend so I can't speak to a doctor.
So basically my smear has come back and says I have hpv and abnormal cells. I have to go for a colopsppsy (however its spelt)
All I can think is I've got cancer and I'm going to leave my kids and partner behind and my youngest won't even remember me

Oh lovely bless you. It’s so hard not to think the worst. I’ve had that too and had LLETZ and they weren’t cancerous. Telling you not to worry really won’t help I know but try not to worry abnormal cells are quite common. The utter joys of being a woman. Here if you need us .
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I married my (now) ex husband back in 1999 knowing he had issues around alcohol. We had 3 sons in quick succession & his dependence was becoming more clear to see. Eg bathing or reading stories to our little tots with the always ever present beer can.

For years I tried to desperately normalise this behaviour or kid myself I was imagining it.

It was only when I discovered he'd drunk drove 2 of our sons & belittled one of them for telling me that I had the utterly amazing light bulb moment that it was game over, he's outta of here, divorce is a coming.

The painful reality of this year, finally after he played dice on his ever declining health, that he passed away. I have 3 young men (18, 19 & 21) to support through their mixture of shock, regret, anger & utter sadness.

I'm so angry that in his final years he couldn't step up & be the dad they so longed for. He remained as ever wrapped up in his own selfish world of needs, lack of foresight & what was important to him & not his 3 amazing sons.

You sound like an amazing mum your sons are lucky to have you.

 

[Moomin12]

You guys are the best, everyone so supportive of each other. Love and strength to all who are needing it right now

 

[stargirl23]

Honestly the best bunch of trolls I’ve met. The kindness and support and love on this thread is second to none.

 

[ShowMeThe Money]

Having lived with my alcoholic brother I completely understand your pain. Addiction is such a horrible illness and it’s so hard to get through to those you love because they just don’t care or are too drunk to understand. They don’t realise the pain they are inflicting upon those around them having to watch someone they care about wear away. I can’t begin to imagine the mixed emotions you must all be feeling but if you need anything I’m here for you.

I hope your sons don’t feel too regretful, unfortunately in situations like this there’s nothing they could’ve done. You can’t help or change someone who doesn’t want to help or change themselves. It’s a shame like you say their last few years with their dad was spent in this way but I hope they don’t ever blame themselves for the loss.

I’m sure with your love and support you’ll all get through this together. You seem like an amazing woman for walking away to protect your children and put them first, but that doesn’t take away this must be such a shock and painful time for you all.

I really hope I’ve worded this correctly I dont Want to sound insensitive or offensive or anything. I hope you understand what I’m trying to say.

sending all my love and I’m so sorry for your loss. Will be thinking of you and your children in that difficult time

Thank you for your kind & thoughtful response. I feel quite haunted this week as my lads have had to clear out his sheltered housing flat. So my lounge is full of his clothes & possessions - it's like going back in time to the divorce when I was trying to get him & all his stuff out.

Going through his paperwork is equally depressing especially the hospital letters. He had stage 4 tongue cancer, a gastric tube & endless complications all stemming from his alcohol reliance.

 

[stargirl23]

Thank you for your kind & thoughtful response. I feel quite haunted this week as my lads have had to clear out his sheltered housing flat. So my lounge is full of his clothes & possessions - it's like going back in time to the divorce when I was trying to get him & all his stuff out.

Going through his paperwork is equally depressing especially the hospital letters. He had stage 4 tongue cancer, a gastric tube & endless complications all stemming from his alcohol reliance.

I’m so sorry. It must be so difficult and triggering for you to go through it all and have your past be brought up in the mean time. As difficult as it is just know what you’re doing will mean the world to your boys. Stay strong love we’re all here if you need us

 

[gagzi]

Hi all. Just coming on for a vent. Hubby has been really struggling this last week again. Not sure if it is the antidepressants he was prescribed or what but he hasn't been sleeping. Got some sleeping pills from the doctor. One higher dose did knock him out Monday but he doesn't want to rely on them. His anxiety was really bad again last night so he took a lower dose to try and fall asleep but it didn't work. He's so tired and it's making him so low. I feel lost and unsure what to do at the moment. I can't sleep either as I'm worrying about him. He gets intrusive thoughts and this lack of sleep is just exacerbating that more. The doctor asked if he wanted to try a different ssri but he'd only been on Sertraline for 5 days and know it can get worse before better so said he'd stick with it for now. But now I'm wondering if he should try something else. Up until 2 weeks ago he was ok and since it's been a very scary anxiety rollercoaster with no end in sight at the moment. It's just so exhausting not knowing what to do. Accessing help is hard too. When he's feeling really bad they just say to go to a & e but he can't face that when he's feeling so anxious. Meditation etc just don't seem to be working when he gets worked up at the moment. He's got no energy to do anything from the lack of sleep so just sitting in bed the last few days which doesn't help either. We have a daughter so he doesn't want her seeing him like this which makes him feel more guilty. I'm working from home as I don't want to leave him at the moment.

Oh no what an awful thing that you're all going through. It must be so hard not knowing what to do for the best and the worry you are going through, aswell as having to look after your daughter. I've heard sertraline does get worse before it gets better so maybe give it a little longer and see if any improvements but that's not making you feel any better in the meantime is it . Has he had propanalol. I take that for anxiety which helps me but I suppose it's different for different people. Hope everything gets a bit better soon and he starts to pick up and feel more himself.
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Sorry I try to keep up with this thread but hardly find time too. I'm off work again and not sure if I'll be able to go back to the unit I work on. I keep getting an infection in my bowel and it's reared its ugly head again this evening. Will have to wait for test results but I know it's started again. I was feeling so well and happy in life and boom hits me again. So now I've got all the stress of what will happen with a job I love. Can they send me elsewhere in the hospital in a lesser risk area or could i lose my job. Sorry to vent..I know people have worse problems going on. Sorry I didn't mean to post this second part attached to your post @sarving2022.

 

[stargirl23]

Oh no what an awful thing that you're all going through. It must be so hard not knowing what to do for the best and the worry you are going through, aswell as having to look after your daughter. I've heard sertraline does get worse before it gets better so maybe give it a little longer and see if any improvements but that's not making you feel any better in the meantime is it . Has he had propanalol. I take that for anxiety which helps me but I suppose it's different for different people. Hope everything gets a bit better soon and he starts to pick up and feel more himself.
---
Sorry I try to keep up with this thread but hardly find time too. I'm off work again and not sure if I'll be able to go back to the unit I work on. I keep getting an infection in my bowel and it's reared its ugly head again this evening. Will have to wait for test results but I know it's started again. I was feeling so well and happy in life and boom hits me again. So now I've got all the stress of what will happen with a job I love. Can they send me elsewhere in the hospital in a lesser risk area or could i lose my job. Sorry to vent..I know people have worse problems going on. Sorry I didn't mean to post this second part attached to your post @sarving2022.

I hope you feel better soon my love. I’m so sorry you’re having a difficult time and life’s thrown this illness at you. Fingers crossed you get the results back soon so you can get the correct treatment and get back to yourself. We’re all here if you need anything

 

[gagzi]

I hope you feel better soon my love. I’m so sorry you’re having a difficult time and life’s thrown this illness at you. Fingers crossed you get the results back soon so you can get the correct treatment and get back to yourself. We’re all here if you need anything

Thankyou so much lovely. Means a lot

 

[Vanilla Ice]

I love this thread everyone on here is so kind and informative giving lots of excellent advice love and encouragement to those that need it so much better than any helpline that i have ever encountered you all deserve extra fakey and and a kindness to each and everyone of you xx