jazzbot
VIP Member
Oh a request@jazzbot can you rewrite Twas the Night Before Christmas in honour of Grace & Kips?
! Threw this together,, ah here hope yiz like it 
'Twas the Night Before...
'Twas the NIGH before Grease' Day, and all through Virgina Park,
Not a freebie occuring, owner having none of dah lark!
Her dress falling off d'free hangers and covered in curry,
Grease, the big baby, did everythin' in a hurry.
The children, a nusiance, are fucked away now to bed,
So Greasy can bang bowls and wreck everyone's head;
Bridesmaids' dresses altered in the nick of time,
Grease is oblivious, 'not your day it's mine!'.
While all fast asleep, there arose such a clatter,
Greasy sprang from her bed, clasping her sausage in batter.
Frightened and scared she asked 'Kips is dah you farting?'
Suddenly a knock on the door, Alas! it was Martin!
'Fuck off ya bastard, a misogynamist prick!;
'Clear off right now or you'll get Weil's off this stick!'
Martin was headstrong, and taking no slack,
'Go 'way you shit mother, I want Lady Gray back!'.
No one tells little old Greasy what to do,
She summonsed her sidekicks, so quickly they flew.
It wasn't her mother or daughter who came,
She whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, GINGER! now, CARA! now, LOKI please stay,
Last but not least, my beautiful Lady Gray!
The atmosphere was tense, they looked guilty as sin,
She gave her last orders, 'Smash the fuck out of Martin!'.
Tired and weary, Mags was stressed to the hilt,
No knickers, no tit tape, guess who'll have a fit?
She stumbled upon Greasy, a body in tow,
Mags startled and shocked asked 'Is that someone I know?'
Greasy was clever, she knew not to panic,
Mags not too bothered, used to this one being manic.
"Jush gettin in me last wedding gym session,
This isn't a body, it's a weigh are ya messin'?
Mags didn't care, to her bed was her aim,
Wrecked from her sister, she drives her insane.
But I heard her exclaim, as she ran out of sight,
HAPPY WEDDING DAY GREASY, fuck ya GOODNIGH!
