Escape into the Tea & Sympathy chat room #2

[Chita]

Oftentimes it is other people's emotions that affect us.
I think we are empaths - we soak up their emotions as we try to help them.

@Miscanthus
if we do feel like crying all day then we can come in here to chat. We dont have to talk about the low feelings we can just chat about any subject we like to distract ourselves from it.

Thats what this thread is for.

You do @Chita
It's hard to put into words, however, if you are being put in a position that you don't want to be in, then you -you- set your boundaries.
I want to say some things, but I don't want them to be inappropriate

Doesnt matter if they are inappropriate. Its good to hear what others think and are also going through.

Help can come from the least expected place or situation.

 

[Geranium]

I was about to write almost the same post as @Chita above.
It can be hard being an empath, sometimes I feel other peoples pain so intensely that it makes me incapable of helping them.
@Miscanthus I hope you are feeling better. When I’m having a bad day or days I try to hold onto the fact that they usually pass and I feel ok again. Xx

 

[Miscanthus]

I was about to write almost the same post as @Chita above.
It can be hard being an empath, sometimes I feel other peoples pain so intensely that it makes me incapable of helping them.
@Miscanthus I hope you are feeling better. When I’m having a bad day or days I try to hold onto the fact that they usually pass and I feel ok again. Xx

Thank you @Geranium and @Chita you are both such lovely, kind people.
Yes, I should come on here to chat but I do feel a bit better, thank you.

 

[Chita]

Well my main laptop has now started to die so I have had to get a new one.
Plumped for windows 'cos I (vaguely) know how to use that.
And its coming today and also the phone I ordered is coming too.
So I will be up to the neck in technology - wish me luck !

 

[Kittypops]

Well my main laptop has now started to die so I have had to get a new one.
Plumped for windows 'cos I (vaguely) know how to use that.
And its coming today and also the phone I ordered is coming too.
So I will be up to the neck in technology - wish me luck !

Power through it @Chita and let us know when you're back in the 21st century with your snazzy new gear!

 

[Fredsnail]

Good luck Chita with the new tech - what make of laptop did you go for?

Another empath here - it can be very draining.

 

[Miscanthus]

Well my main laptop has now started to die so I have had to get a new one.
Plumped for windows 'cos I (vaguely) know how to use that.
And its coming today and also the phone I ordered is coming too.
So I will be up to the neck in technology - wish me luck !

Best of luck @Chita
May all your information synch!

 

[Olebiscuitbarrel]

Slightly better news from the hospital over the last 24 hours. My partner and I, have managed two seperate long conversations with our friend. He even managed to write down my telephone number (he had forgotten that it is stored on his phone). It took him a long time to do this, he was having difficulty in concentrating. But the main thing is he did it.
He says he wants to come home, but that is looking unlikely at the moment, he is unable to look after himself. We managed to tell him we are still here for him, and that is the most important thing.

I've only just joined his thread so you may already have found a solution.
Unless your friend is being fast tracked continuing Health care he will need social services involvement to access a care home. If your friend can't make this choice himself then there must be a Best Interest decision. He can't just be put in a care home. Ask to speak to the discharge liaison Nurse and insist he gets a social services assessment. It could be that he could go home with the correct support.

 

[Rockin' Robin]

I've only just joined his thread so you may already have found a solution.
Unless your friend is being fast tracked continuing Health care he will need social services involvement to access a care home. If your friend can't make this choice himself then there must be a Best Interest decision. He can't just be put in a care home. Ask to speak to the discharge liaison Nurse and insist he gets a social services assessment. It could be that he could go home with the correct support.

Thank you so much for your reply.

An update on the situation
In the early hours of Thursday morning, my partner and I received a phone call from the ward where our friend is. We were told that he was quite poorly, and had tested positive for Covid. Ironically, he was moved from our local hospital, because there was an outbreak of Covid in the ward.
I asked the Doctor if it would be possible to visit our friend, we have not seen him since the beginning of January, she said yes. So I ordered a taxi to take me to the hospital (my partner had caught a cold, and was unable to attend.) After a lot of waiting, and dressing in full PPE, I finally got to see him. He was barely conscious, but he knew I was there. I was so glad to have been able to see him.
His condition is stable at the moment, I really hope he pulls through.

 

[Olebiscuitbarrel]

Thank you so much for your reply.

An update on the situation
In the early hours of Thursday morning, my partner and I received a phone call from the ward where our friend is. We were told that he was quite poorly, and had tested positive for Covid. Ironically, he was moved from our local hospital, because there was an outbreak of Covid in the ward.
I asked the Doctor if it would be possible to visit our friend, we have not seen him since the beginning of January, she said yes. So I ordered a taxi to take me to the hospital (my partner had caught a cold, and was unable to attend.) After a lot of waiting, and dressing in full PPE, I finally got to see him. He was barely conscious, but he knew I was there. I was so glad to have been able to see him.
His condition is stable at the moment, I really hope he pulls through.

Glad you got to see him. I work in this field and know how important it is to have that face to face contact.

 

[recollectionsmayvary]

I have quite a small circle of people I love and who I am close to.
There are several others on the outskirts of that whom I care about but I don't let them in real close.

One of the real close ones has had suicidal thoughts on a few occasions but I have managed to keep lifting him up but all the mental struggles and lack of sleep etc etc is showing on his face and behind his eyes so I know those dark thoughts haven't gone away.

A friend in the not-so-close category took his own life this year.
His widow has now started dating a new man.
I think its a bit soon - and wonder if maybe she was cheating before now and that might have contributed to the suicide.
I don't know and who am I to judge anyway - but now, this development has started my loved one thinking that people soon forget a person when they die and will recover from the loss with little effect and move on to new people.

So all the work I've done to keep him from the edge and to dispel his dark thoughts is now unravelling.

I'm struggling myself to keep positive after my work being decimated by all the lockdowns for all this time - so this is all I need.

I sometimes think it's better to be a hermit and keep away from real people and just live a solitary life and use places like Tattle for company.

Oh to feel happy every day and have the inner circle of loved ones feel the same.

Dear Chita so sorry to hear you and @Tattyfilarious are having such horrible times. I want to help but don't know what to say. Supporting a loved one through dark times is can be soul crushing... Every conversation is a minefield & you wonder if you're helping all all. Help without enabling or judging isn't easy especially if the depressive episode lasts as long as this pandemic.
My father killed himself but he also battled cancer for years, one person's circumstances are never another's.
Just know there is little to nothing you can do to prevent this other than what you're already doing. Other friends with the same tendencies say just being there is huge.
A close friend from HS that became a co-worker was a rape victim (both her biological father and her stepfather from age 7 until she moved at 14) is now severely agoraphobic assures me that just being there is what makes the difference. I hope that's true; at times I DO feel like being more brutal and giving tough love but that usually has the opposite effect then she goes radio silent (which is worse!) Even now my thought is "Should I pipe in or STFU?" Love to you all and here's to brighter days. Eventually one always comes, right???

 

[Chita]

All we can all do is keep trying to help each other.


This is being typed on my new phone.
Its not as wide as my old one so I'm having to backspace a lot to correct typos!

However - I have set up emails and customised ringtones for different people and also different custom tones for email, texts, reminders etc

So I'm pretty pleased with myself.

@Fredsnail - my main laptop has big storage and the Apple ones cost way too much for that much storage so I've got a Windows one with a Terabyte.

I've had to buy Microsoft Word 2021 because my old 2013 one isn't compatible with windows 11 but I managed to get a good discount.

The new laptop is still in its box. I will tackle that tomorrow.

And I will treat myself to a little Apple Macbook Air later just as a luxury toy to play with.
I hear a new model is due out in a few months which means the one I like now will be deemed old hat by apple fanatics and I will be able to get it for a lot less money.

Ive had a rotten few years so Ive decided I deserve a treat.
And by the time I can afford it, I will hopefully have completely sussed this phone and the Windows11 laptop.

 

[Chita]

Phone more or less set up.
I can't see pictures in Twitter unless I have WiFi connected.
So there must be something somewhere not giving permission for my mobile data to access pictures.
Buggered if I can figure that out.
Will have to ring my mobile phone company to ask about that one.

Laptop still in its box.
Waiting for the Microsoft Office thing to arrive. Will look at laptop later.

Hah. Anyone would think I know what I'm doing!

 

[Fredsnail]

Well done - sounds like you've got the hang of it

 

[Chita]

Laptop still in its box.

Bit too frit to start with that yet.

I now have pictures visible in Twitter without having to enable WiFi - I have no clue how I did it though!

 

[recollectionsmayvary]

Laptop still in its box.

Bit too frit to start with that yet.

I now have pictures visible in Twitter without having to enable WiFi - I have no clue how I did it though!

Sometimes you need a reboot/restart when installing new hardware/software/etc. B4 things begin to work smoothly. I was lucky to work as a Help Desk Analyst for a few years our first move was the old power shuffle/reboot. In our defense, that works BC it's the way hardware is designed. @Chita How is your person? I just heard My fragile & AWOL friend has bad news; one of her rescue dogs isn't going to last the week. End-stage bone cancer, wait times for animals and humans are an effing mess here. Thankfully we have wonderful private vets that will do an in-home euthanasia. Looking forward to seeing what you create on your new tools!

 

[Kittypops]

It's lovely when you see friends from other threads pop up in different threads, especially daft ones (threads, not people!).
Shows how some people can find goodness in having a bit of a distraction, even when life is falling apart around you.
Love to everyone xxx

 

[Chita]

Sometimes you need a reboot/restart when installing new hardware/software/etc. B4 things begin to work smoothly. I was lucky to work as a Help Desk Analyst for a few years our first move was the old power shuffle/reboot. In our defense, that works BC it's the way hardware is designed. @Chita How is your person? I just heard My fragile & AWOL friend has bad news; one of her rescue dogs isn't going to last the week. End-stage bone cancer, wait times for animals and humans are an effing mess here. Thankfully we have wonderful private vets that will do an in-home euthanasia. Looking forward to seeing what you create on your new tools!

Sorry about the doggy. At least their passing will be peaceful and they will be surrounded by love.
Thank goodness they were rescued.



I think the lack of pics in twitter was due to Internet signal being low. Not sure though.

I've had the new Windows 11 laptop out of its box.
Some things are different.
One plus for me is that One Drive can be unlinked.
I hate that thing.
It's a great idea but I refuse and indeed cannot afford to pay for enough gigabytes to store everything I want to store.
And so I have unlinked the bugger and have my stuff nestling comfortably in folders on the desktop where I can find them.
I had to buy new software for one thing but I managed to negotiate a discount.
Most of the other stuff was upgradeable to Windows 11.
So I'm glad I stuck with Windows because a lot of my stuff isn't compatible with Apple.

The effort involved in all of this has kept me busy.
In myself I'm pretty jolly, thanks but most people around me are suffering - some mental health issues, some physical and some suffering both.

Lockdowns are taking their toll.

I hope everyone here is doing OK.

It's lovely when you see friends from other threads pop up in different threads, especially daft ones (threads, not people!).
Shows how some people can find goodness in having a bit of a distraction, even when life is falling apart around you.
Love to everyone xxx

I started this thread because we were all going so off topic in others.
I want it to be a kind of cyber tea room where we come for a gossip about anything whilst at the same time we support anyone struggling with stuff.

 

[Chita]

@Rockin' Robin - how are things? Has your buddy been moved from the Hospital?

Hope you are being allowed to visit wherever he is. Hope you are OK.


Hope everyone else is OK too.

 

[Rockin' Robin]

Hi there, I have not posted on this thread, because I am aware of other people needing to discuss their own situations. However I do feel the need to talk about recent developments.
I have recently been dismissed from my job, I was not too sad about it, because I was never really happy working there. I am coming to terms with this, but I feel that I have been riding a rollercoaster for the last couple of weeks.
Our friend was moved to a Covid ward, because he had tested positive for it. We really thought that he would succumb to the virus, because he has not been vaccinated. I was allowed to visit him last week, because of the phone call we received in the early hours of the morning, from the hospital. He received the best possible treatment.
The treatment must have worked, because I was able to have a conversation with him on Monday. He sounded medicated and a little confused, but he knew who I was. My partner and I, have been able to speak to him almost every day this week. He still sounds quite ill, apart from the Covid he had Pneumonia. I think he is too ill, to be moved anywhere else at the moment.
My partner has been unwell for the last couple of weeks, ironically he took a lateral flow test and it came out positive. He is isolating at the moment. I'm not sure if the hospital will allow either of us to visit out friend at the moment, given his vulerable condition. My partner calculated that our friend has now been in hospital for 46 days. I really don't know what the future holds, I am trying to take it one day at a time.