Thank you for listening and the advice
The situation
is rather complicated, due to both cultural and legal factors.
A bit of backstory: Mum was raised as the scapegoat by her narc father, to be married off in a business alliance. Grandma was very well educated - far more than anyone in her husband's family, but was forced to be more of a servant than even a housewife. Grandfather was deeply misogynistic and educated mum only because he realised that educated DILs are more in demand (more fun to subjugate). His elder son he raised the same way, the younger one was sickly and defended his mother and sister but moved abroad the soonest he could, so grandfather and elder uncle hated him. Mum was married off to my dad so grandfather and uncle could exploit my paternal grandfather's (also a raging narc but more educated and refined and loved his daughter) contacts. They encouraged my mother's in-laws to abuse her verbally, physically and financially. Dad had also grown up abused so couldn't do much and had very bad financial habits. Mum also got really sick when she was expecting me, especially after my aunt tried a few times to make her miscarry me. One day they heard some relatives plotting to kill us all, so fled my grandfather's home without any money or saleable assets (they'd stolen all of mum's wedding jewellery and cash gifts etc, plus in our culture it is extremely last resort for a wife to sell her jewellery anyway). Both worked low paying jobs but started life anew in a new city. Mum's father offered to help, although he'd provide what he wanted to and made mum sign blank papers, forms, etc, and made her give him most of her salary so he could "invest it for her" (ETA: he told her last year that that wasn't her money, he's not giving anything back. This was years of the majority of her monthly salary and would have helped us be more comfortable). When I was still a minor, they made me sign documents as well. They controlled everything we did and said. As I grew up I started understanding that he was up to no good, but mum refused to listen. A) They had completely brainwashed her and B) It was easier, and she and dad always prefer the easiest way out.
So to answer your questions, and
@JAR21's as well:
I have my own bank accounts that I have complete control over, for now. However, given their influence in financial and political circles and penchant for bribing their way through life, they can block my access at any time - they've done it before and stolen my hard-earned income/savings.
The authorities said it's not illegal because they're "family" (and because they offer bribes while I can't). They also opened accounts in my name that I know nothing about/can't access, when I was a minor.
Asked the banks, no way to close them without them agreeing, which they refuse. They said that they won't let go of my accounts even if my parents and I sign certain documents which will give them further license to mess with our lives.
More than me having my own bank account, my problem is that they have accounts in my name that I can't close, and which they use for not so savoury transactions, but it's income in my name (that I can't touch) that I am liable to pay taxes for. Government doesn't care that I have nothing to do with them.
No way to put money away secretly - mum steals all my cash, anything I put in the bank can be seen by the relatives (financial connections), and as soon as they see I have a good amount or something that's eggnesty, they'll steal it. Have done it before. Also, if I save even a small amount, mum comes up with an excuse why I need to urgently spend it on her/the house (tactic also practised by my friend's mother). I don't trust any friends or relatives to keep money safe for me. More on that later though.
Mum's a narc, dad's a covert one too though he'll never admit it. They also both want the easiest way for themselves which involves putting the burden on me. So no, they won't listen. And when they see someone advocating for me, they make sure that that person doesn't remain in my life anymore. Annd I get screamed at for making mum look bad in front of other people.
No friends I could talk to. Parents didn't let me socialise when when I had a good pool to make good friends from, now I don't meet anyone new except at exhibitions. Made some friends there but they are "work friends" or frenemies, not ones I can share this stuff with. Most friends moved on when they realised that I won't have money to spend on them or won't go on trips or do fun stuff or even hang out in the evening etc (even scheduled hang outs were always interrupted by screaming phone calls - now mum asks why I don't have friends to help with life stuff/business
). Some told me to contact them only after my life became trouble-free because they didn't want to deal with it - after I spent years helping them through one thing after another until they stabilised. Many just ghosted me.
Relatives (most are wealthy or pretend to be) hate that we are poor, and many are scared of my uncle. Many, like the younger uncle, have joined the elder one in harassing us into giving in to his demands (basically that we hand over ourselves as legal etc entities to him and his family to do with as they please, and that they marry me off in a business/political alliance favouring them, or become their literal slave). I do have a cousin who still talks to me sometimes and a few friends, but I keep them away and hidden for their own safety.
Breaking free isn't an option because of all the signed papers and information mum's relatives hold, and honestly, I don't trust her to not join them in making my life miserable if I try to get away. Not easy to disown them because of how the law works. Also she is likely to use the law regarding abuse/neglect of elderly parents against me. I don't earn enough to support two households otherwise I could have moved out for work. So I'm stuck.
Marriage was one out, but I wasn't allowed to date and was expected to marry someone selected by my grandfather (similar situation to mum's, but worse guys). My attempts to find a husband I could tolerate or at least use to fix the legal
tit failed miserably. Now mum's been trying to force me to find a guy online or marry someone suggested by her friends, but they're all very bad options and a repeat of the same situation. She's mainly motivated by people saying she wants to live off my earnings, so either I listen to her, or I declare to the world that I'm not interested so she can be off the hook. I'm doing neither.
I'm really a pain in the ass for all of them
Sometimes it feels that way, but then I realise that my parents are more motivated by wanting things to be easier for them, than actively not being on my side. It could have been much worse. But yeah mum always needs a target
Ah yes, that's why I was raised with the mindset that I'll marry only into a family that allows me to give my salary to my parents and take care of them too (they called it being responsible and breaking gender norms). Stopping work wasn't an option. So many suitors rejected because they didn't want me to work. I've told mum repeatedly that she should stop telling people that I am adamant to continue working after marriage because that's only attracting (something cheaper than)gold-diggers. She finally stopped after I told her that such families won't let me pay for my parents.
Mum keeps crying about how she doesn't have a job and no one will hire now. She'd left her good one when I was very young because she was (genuinely) very sick and her colleagues were trying to convince her to perform "favours". Too big of a gap in employment and skills (though she's done a few courses over the years). She's had opportunities since then but her ill health and depression are a barrier. I've been telling her to teach workshops. Even one a month would ease the burden a fair bit, but nope. Even with me handling all the logistics, it's a no-go. Tough love or throwing her in the deep end won't work. Her go-to is threatening to off herself, and while I'm sure I'll finally get a break in jail, they won't let me have any of my favourite craft materials in there
I'm feeling a bit better today. The shouting has quieted down, especially after dad and I had a screaming match yesterday. I've been trying to focus on finishing and testing new materials for my crafts and we'll hopefully see some rain in a few hours which will help with the headache. This is as peaceful as it is going to get.
This whole situation was his, his wife and DIL's (she's another Smegs, including making goo-goo eyes at her FIL) and my grandfather's planning and doing.
- Try to fit in some time to rest! Garden a great distraction - no strenuous stuff to do hopefully.
I'm not feeling that isolated and like a volcano raring to spew lava, so that's a great and very necessary improvement 
As for practical help, I currently only lack a super-powerful lawyer who enjoys working pro bono, and listening ears, which you have provided very nicely 
Main problem with those is that my relatives could still implement their original plan and bribe/scare them into abusing me/allowing the relatives to continue the financial abuse. I need a William 
and I never have spots! Today I have been doing heavy garden work so tired now 
) didn’t know flu symptoms were a side effect of vac- but then you have a lot going on!!! Shame about the craft fair- do you have your stuff on etsy- my artist neighbour needs to get her stuff seen more- of course you were working like a lunatic in the garden- shur resting is over rated
mind yourself for heavens sake! my second lot of seeds are peeping up in the polytunnel- first lot got munched by slugs
Side effects are ugh, but better than the real thing. Sorry to hear you had it 