Elle Florence #15 Bottle Blonde and Chanel by the Pond, How Long until Fisherman Figures Out the Con?

[Drasticactions]

I agree with everyone. I normally don't care about people's looks, bc most of the time we can't help that. But with Elle looks are fair game to me. She's a nasty selfish person, who is very vain. Elle is clearly a mean girl wannabe.

I'm sure if any of us met and tried to befriend Elle she'd be an awful friend. If she was thinner and prettier than one of us she's make passive aggressive comments about how lucky we are to be friends with a beautiful size 00 person like her. And if we were thinner or prettier than her she'd give some sort of back handed compliment, in her sickly sweet talking to Joe/bebe voice.

Seeing how she treated that chocolate shop employee when she got bonbons for her mom shows exactly the kind of person she is. And I had to deal with customers/patients just like her at my old job.

That on its own is enough to make her an unpleasant person. But her anti Semitic comments, her clearly European supremacist views (she always made it sound like she was better bc she was European) just make her all the more vile. Following the convoy clearly shows she doesn't seem to believe in facts or science either.

Elle is ugly on the inside and no matter how she looks on the outside, she will always be ugly to me. Any of my comments about Elle are only directed at her.

 

[Phoebe.Tallulah]

You're on fire, lol.

First Louise Vuitton and now Destiny. I love it.

Louise Vuitton Rougepurcouture Lecoque

 

[svdwoodsen]

I really hope she gets married and pregnant soon so we can get quality wannabe stepford wife mommy blogger content from Elle. I’m guessing she’ll be as smug as Joe era but with Rick era budget.

 

[boredstrom]

She mentioned that he's very happy so who knows? Maybe he is happy.

I mean she can't exactly make a Nordstrom Haul video that opens with 'Well, he's pretty pissed about me being pregnant and everything but what can he do?'

Also my thread title. Fisherman did well. Forever linked to Elle. Can't unring that bell.

 

[shadespeare]

Let's also not forget that her lifestyle--namely her endless, mindless consumption--is VERY North American. There is nothing traditionally European about buying things you don't need and hoarding possessions. Her mom is way more European in this regard, as she rewears clothes and doesn't spend frivolously. Elle's shopping habits are anything but European.

 

[LetThemEatLipstick]

Speaking of Elle comparing things to the Holocaust (basically belittling the Holocaust), in “VLOGMAS DAY 24 - #HAWAIIMAS” from I think 2017 (she has now deleted this vlog, but some generous Tattlers have posted this entire Vlogmas series which I downloaded and saved), at 8:50 she uses “Sophie’s Choice” as a metaphor for having to either continue using a too-small piece of Christmas wrapping paper to wrap a present, or opting to cut a new piece and risk using up the entire roll.

She compares cutting a new rectangle of Christmas wrapping paper to choosing which of someone’s two children need to be sent to the Auschwitz gas chamber, and which of the two gets to be sent to the children’s labor camp.

My own grandmother (in-law) was born after the Holocaust as the 11th child to an Auschwitz-survivor mother, whose first TEN children were gassed at Auschwitz. My great-grandmother-in-law sent her oldest daughters to watch after the eight little ones, believing the guards’ lies that they were all heading over to set up bunks at the childrens’ quarters. My great-grandmother-in-law sent her oldest daughters to be gassed alongside her younger children, all TEN of them dying together on their first day at Auschwitz after unloading from the train car, and she lived with that guilt until the day she eventually died.

In Elle’s mind, this is the same guilt one feels when having to cut a new piece of Christmas wrapping paper, instead of continuing to use a piece that was too small.

 

[ccc123000]

Gosh the word salad and run-on sentences in that haul vlog "intro." Seemed like she didn't even pause to take a breath for 2 minutes and I have no clue what she was trying to say, in so many words. Was it about the Nordstrom sale?

How many knit sweaters does one person need? In a lifetime? Where.does.she.put.all.her.clothes? Seriously.

She looks ridiculous trying to model. I don't know if she's trying to look "provocative" with her attempt at a smoldering eye look, but she just ends up looking like she is trying to intimidate someone and challenge them to a fight.

She was "gutted" because she had to send a cashmere sweater back. Is this what her mom called, being "resilient?"

She kept saying how her style is classic but what it really is, is MATRONLY. She dresses like an unfashionable 60 year old. Because I do recognize there are many older women out there with real classic fashion sense, and look impeccable.

 

[flashygalfromflushing]

Does anyone else here think Smelle should just move to Europe?

I mean, she's got the Belgian passport. I want to see Elle in France. No, scratch that--I want Elle in Belgium! I'd love to see her being a fish out of water in Europe and being confronted with the fact that she is solidly North American in all she does. I want her to tell actual Belgians that she "loveth waffleth becauthe [she's] Belgian!" and everyone will look at her like, "yeah.. and?" Then she'll call herself the "exotic North American."

I feel like "clueless North American who thinks she's European living in Europe" could actually be a fun YouTube niche. Get on it, Elle!

 

[svdwoodsen]

I can't believe I'm saying this but she was way better when she had a life to brag about. She needs to find another Chris or Joe.

She was an entertaining trainwreck with the occasional good tip back then.

 

[thecatlass]

I think it's safe to say you could donate Smelle's wardrobe to five women and each of them would still end up with more clothes than an average woman.

Smelle is deeply unhappy because she cannot find security and stability in life. She tries to suppress these feelings with the high that shopping gives her but it's only temporary, so she needs to buy more and more.

First, her childhood was spent without a father and that's not because he was dead, an alcoholic, a criminal but simply because he wanted to remove himself from Spermbrows and their daughter. While the mother provided Smelle with all material goods and until this day remains a helicopter parent, she couldn't make up for the imbeded hurt that Smelle is feeling even now - her biological father never met her but decided he didn't want to know her, be in touch with her, spend time with her.
Then, she got into her head that life will be perfect if you emulate a Disney fairytale. You have to be attractive, feminine, a good homemaker, and you'll easily find the man who will love and worship you forever. However, the world is not a fairytale and there is more to maintaining a stable relationship than wearing a ton of hairspray and nail polish that matches christmas tree decorations. She goes for men who aren't dying to be husbands (maybe apart from Rickets) and are focused more on their career and general appearance than impregnating their wife and becoming her ATM until death do them part. Smelle wishes to be a luxury tradwife but the men she dates have no interest in being tradhusbands.

 

[KikiOoMomo]

How long has she known this man? Deep down I know this isn't what she wanted but low self-esteem can make people do truly insane things.

Isn't it a bit grotesque to combine a baby announcement with a Nordstrom haul? She spoke more about what she bought and the deals she found (commission!) more than she spoke about her new home, her pregnancy and the mystery partner. This woman really cannot go a day without shopping.

 

[svdwoodsen]

Viewpure: http://www.viewpure.com/-yylJpgmU0Y?start=0&end=0

Some thoughts:
3-2-1 while talking about yet another new set of sheets. Classic Elle moment and she's such a hoarder. How many dozens of bedsheets does a single woman need??

"I'm a corporate attorney." Keep lying, Elle. We all know you "work" at a pay to list law firm that's based in a WeWork.

"I went to CrossFit on Friday." Mr Fisherman must be into fitness and Crossfit. Not very housewife who lunches and does Pilates at Vancouver Club!

Why does she seem so upset while defending her poor life decisions? And her voice shakes at multiple points when she's explaining why she shills her pearls rather than create any real content recently.

She's noticeably bigger (you can tell in the section when she's filming her vanity). Things are probably still going with the fisherman, or she would've lost a lot of weight instead.

That wine bar looks kinda crunchy and lame, and looks like someone decided to make a makeshift "wine bar" from their parking garage. Seems like the fisherman is more similar to Rick than Chris. I bet she's secretly seething.

That kimchi soup is interesting. She's made a lot of effort to buy what seems like authentic Asian ingredients and I see bottles of different Asian (apologies I can't tell what language they're in) sauces while she's cooking her risotto. I wonder if Mr Fisherman is really into Asian food.

Her lazy eye was going crazy at the end, when she talked about English Muffins! It kept moving everywhere and wouldn't stop. I'm pretty dizzy from looking at it.

Some fun photos:

 

[daytripper]

As Independence Day approaches, we observe the demise of two institutions that have been creaking along for quite awhile... U.S. democracy and Elle's channel. Both increasingly authoritarian institutions in recent years, out-of-touch with their constituents, prone to restricting free speech and making empty promises.

Canada: if you'll take me in exchange for Elle, I'm ready!

 

[Food4Thought]

I had to come back to post for this trainwreck..
This might have been said here before but all I can think of with the baby/Elle/Mama G sad trifecta is this quote...
"Raise your kid and spoil your grandkids, but spoil your kid and you'll be raising your grandkids"
Mama G signed up for taking care of more kids by spoiling Elle rotten

 

[boredstrom]

I think her channel is dead, guys.

Yeah, theres just so little to brag about any more. She's no longer the pretty young career woman. Bainbridge is quiet and boring. There's no more Yaletown. No Vancouver Club. No more morning walks to the office all painted up. She never got to be a monied young mommy-vlogger. No busy, high-earning husband. No goop hauls. No second plates to film. No 'Silly Duhdee' to put Beebee or Moomoo or Foofoo or whatever in a LV bag. No more morning coffees at Nordstrom. No more making the saleswoman check in back. No more exciting scarf color announcements. No more rides in the passenger seat to the bed and breakfast. Now, she's just like . . . well . . . everyone else.

All of that is fine Elle. We know it's not what you wanted, but theres nothing wrong with it. Best of luck with everything going forward.

 

[Keikochan]

I am looking forward to seeing the new home. How will she clutter it this time

Can we start thinking baby names? I feel she should go with a fish or ocean type name...... Ariel (the little mermaid) , Cordelia (means ocean), Meena (means precious stone, fish - that's a 2 in 1 right there!) or Pearl (self explanatory). Ugh what's the betting it'll be a gem stone name.

 

[boredstrom]

I think she’s truly given up on her “influencer” career. When her adoring Karen fans started to turn on her in the comments, that was a wrap.

Yeah I think she's wrapping up at this point. Theres nothing in it for Elle any more. She can't be selling much crap any more. Even if she feels like bragging about some aspects of her life and relationship, it's pretty clear that Fisherman has instructed her that he does not want to be filmed or participate in any way. She's not getting dressed up and walking the streets of a bustling downtown every day for work. One day she'll upload a vid promising lots of updates and more regular content and then nothing ever again after that. The vid from a couple weeks ago may just end up being that vid.

If this is it, bon voyage Elle. We'll always have Vancouver. We'll always have La Mer in the tent. We'll always have the tuna sandwiches on a sweaty mountain top. And perhaps most important of all, we'll always have Nordstrom. Here's lookin at you, kid.

 

[KikiOoMomo]

Thread title ideas

Elle Florence #16 - Bringing up Bébé, One Nordstrom Haul at a Time.

Elle Florence #16 - Oops!... I Did It Again! (Pulled a Ginette, That Is)

 

[boredstrom]

My guess is she wants to make sure she doesn’t fall below a certain number. It’ll affect partnerships (not that she gets many) and she’s probably embarrassed that she’s had around 80K since Joe days. Her channel basically stopped growing after Joe broke up with her, and she started buying subscribers periodically.

A LOT of things in Elle's life stopped growing that fateful Thursday in May when she came and saw those packed suitcases.

 

[flashygalfromflushing]

I'M FUCKING READY. We are going to get crazy, manic Elle who is buying things left and right. I, for one, am strapped in and ready to go! Rofl.

(That said, I'm an antinatalist so I'm sad there is another baby being born into this world but that's all I'll say about that as it's a controversial take, I know...)