Elle Darby-Swift #76 'The Texas Chain-Store Ambassador'

[buster239]

Do we think she will put the kids in daycare over there?

Doubt it. I think she’ll use them as a cash cow for her videos, her fans love the boys. And it’s not as if either of them work plus she’ll be lonely with no family or friends nearby. I reckon she’ll want to keep them both home until they start school

 

[buster239]

New profile piccy angelles

 

[Upintheair83]

What does everyone make of her new storie? Pregnant maybe? Pink clothes, her angel baby emoji and a rounder looking tum?

 

[pinkypurr]

Do you think there is any chance they have emigrated to escape debt/creditors?

 

[ellyjelly2]

Hahaha !

I just looked up the spa as it’s in her new video and cheapest facial is $220 but most are around $350 plus not to mention tips and taxes

I laughed at the new vid when she said how lovely it was to see kids with their dads and families at the baseball game * whilst their kids were in day care* only to then say they want to go again for a date night presumably without the kids again honestly do you want those children ? Oh and the dogs !

No! She loves the attention they got her when they were puppies/babies but that’s it, bored, on to the next pregnancy where she is the star.

 

[buster239]

She said she needed to be out the house for 6.30 but was still in her Addison Lee at 8, think she's being driven there and back?

I’m confused angle xx

 

[WhiteOrchid]

@WhiteOrchid We are not worthy! F**king hilarious . She is the gift that keeps on giving.

I felt we needed a recap on why she's such a twat and why we keep following the shit show regardless!

 

[Upintheair83]

.....she loves her cup of PG Tips tea; choccie digestives; cosy autumn wear and walking round our garden centres to choose decor........At Christmas, she loves her cosy matching pyjamas with the children and cold winter nights. That's the true Elle. Her and Con could've bought a cottage with an annexe to rent out as an air bnb. There are some beautiful ones in the Yorkshire Dales; Scotland; Lake District etc. The children would be safe in a nursery/foundation class - the dogs would love walks...Con could even have been a PT. They've wasted so much money on what looks like a dull house with no character......

If you look on cons pintrest he pinned alot of house inspo/ renovation pics. This was only 10months ago....this move was no way years in the making!
What you've described is 100% what they wanted

 

[Gossipgirl69]

I’m confused angle xx

Wong thread

Thanks for letting me know, points to anyone who can work out who I was on about x

 

[AshMay]

Not a regular in these parts but just stopping by belatedly to say this thread title is everything

 

[LaughingCow]

Katie looked so jet lagged on that Disney trip.

 

[tootyfruity10]

I actually really like Connor

 

[Upintheair83]

SORRY WHAT ? ! She isn’t going to update people on what she decides childcare wise for the safety of her children !? But will happily share the house they are living in , where their keys are kept , parks and soft plays etc? Make it make sense. Also , talking about how happy and outgoing Saint is when he is with other children and his cousins - didn’t give that a thought when planning to move to America at all ? Also , even after a bad accident with Saint at a park , still happy to be vlogging and giving them minimal attention talking shit about driving for the first time.

Clearly no money has been put towards a baby monitor or cameras for Romeo’s room yet as well , as just listening out for him instead in a huge house. Very sad to see what is prioritised in their household - and a 180 degrees from what I saw from them in the UK but maybe I was blind - it’s giving 18 year olds that didn’t want kids - selfish comes to mind.

I said before I used to think she was a great mum before, but now I don't think so.

 

[evoway13]

My other half's just sent me a video (it's on Ladbible IG) of a Beagle in Florida warning off a (small!) alligator that was in his back garden, perilously close to entering the house, but the door was shut. The beagle barks at it and the alligator skidaddles off sharpish! However, a new fear unlocked with the fact I've just learnt from Mr W.Orchid that they can climb fences too!!! I hope to God that that pair of perpetual knobheads are vigilant when leaving H+H or Suzuki Swift & Romeo Dunn outside unattended

.....and hopefully they watch out for rattlesnakes as they curl up in small, dark spaces (Con's crypt would be an ideal place)......I know I have pythons but, they don't bite.....I love to go out on the garden in grey old England, where I might see a tiny mouse or hedgehog! There's a few youtubers I need to catch up on who are coming to live in the UK from the USA, some British and some American ....I think one of them said they made their mind up due to their 5 year old being taught what to do in case of a school shooter!

 

[ellyjelly2]

It would be really odd not to have days or even longer of missing home, of thinking have we made a mistake m of being really really homesick/in tears, it’s a huge move and just admit it.

 

[ImaLeoooo]

Nothing influential about her is there

I'm influenced not to end up like her tbfh

 

[haribostrawbs]

She’s such a bullshitter! She did get accepted and did go to uni for drama! Her mum was diagnosed just before, that’s true, then they thought she had beaten it, not realising her cancer woukd return. Elle went to Bristol uni studying drama and then left to become a PT, living at Conman’s after her relationship with her parents became very strained due to her dropping out. She made it around as though she didn’t go because of her mums illness. She also said a while back she never really spoke about her mums illness online, one reason was to protect Katie, again bullshit. She spoke quite a lot about it and spoke about counselling. She was also part of the Herbalife crap and was giving it all Billy big bollocks in a view early vlogs . Interesting that this articulate young woman made the vlog when She made a point of saying “smelly foreign’men were staring in her gym.. Not a child.

Look how different her face is!

 

[evoway13]

So the dogs aren’t supposed to be out after arriving in the US?

They're only allowed within the confinements of their property for 30 days....I remember the days when dogs were quarantined for months on end

 

[ellyjelly2]

Dont think she had any! She had puppy fat at worse then broke up with her boyfriend and lost a lot of weight because she was so upset! Then met Connor and went to uni, then got into the gym. She had lost the weight way before. Then the Herbalife thing which was the funniest vlog she ever made, she was all hyper MLM saleswoman on it, priceless.

 

[Sparkledarmer]

With all the Texas Twatfuckery that's been going on lately, I thought I'd take a walk down memory lane on the Wiki to share some classic and chaotic moments that Ellenor Jane Digestive Biscuit Darby Swift has #gifted us, as we celebrate her decade long YouTube career.

I'm not sure if there's enough money left in the Angelle Collection kitty to produce some commemorative tea towels or fridge magnets, but buckle up Angles, here we go Boo's!!

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Back to the beginning: The Bodybuilding Era
Between dodging Smelly looking foreign men at the gym, Elle starts her YouTube journey whilst featuring Connnn in her videos as she ditches Uni for Bodybuilding competitions instead. Gollum's not happy that Con's forgotten to buy some chocolate digestives.

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The Hair Transplant in Lockdown Era
Towards the end of 2020, with the original Lockdown Rules being bought back into force over Christmas and into the New Year of 2021 as numbers starting rising again. Most people were tired of it, but trying to abide by the rules and advice to not mingle with too many people at a time, to only make modest Christmas and NYE plans. EDL and Conman were regularly out and about miles from home flouting the rules. (They visited many of their families in this time to record their reactions to their pregnancy announcement which were put into the announcement video) Con was gifted a free hair transplant (when cancer patients and other important medical procedures were being cancelled or prioritised) they both proudly documented it on social media - and quite rightly got a backlash from most people - apart from the Angles who didn't see a problem with it. I would argue if the Angles couldn't see a problem with it, maybe they needed laser eye surgery.

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The Maternity Fashion Era
Queen Angle finally got One Cup Con to get her up the duff after a gruelling 2 month TTC journey. She treated us to some absolute fashion BELTERS in this Era. The try on Haul at about 5 minutes "preggo" set the precedent for some classic fashion moments.The Roger from American Dad look was my favourite from the whole wardrobe.

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The Muff Era
Figure this one out for yourselves if you're new around here Angles 🫱‍🫲

(The winning thread title of the time "Up the duff, Con's had enough, why's the dog always sniffing her muff?)

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Con's Kellogs Acting Era
Either Kellogs cereals give you constipation or diarrhea, it's not very clear from the director's brief. With a baby on the way, Con had to start paying his pay with sponsored posts that weren't about protein shakes.


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The Choccie Biccie Digestive Era
It's unclear when the obsession started, but being addicted to chocolate digestives became one of Elle's main pregnancy personality traits. She would go on and on in vlogs about how important it is to eat healthily in pregnancy.... whilst snaffling away a whole packet of McVities. She got heartburn towards the latter stages and tried to gain sympathy by saying she needed to pick up some "pregnancy heartburn medication" ..... Gaviscon, Elle, it's called GAVISCON.

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The Photoshop Era
One of the longest eras, the delusion was strong with this one that you almost felt sorry for her - but then the Angles didn't have 2 brain cells between them to rub together to realise Insta Vs Reality is a genuine thing. I'm not coming after Elle for her body shape or weight gain in pregnancy here, but the extent of her editing, filters and photoshopping was so extreme and so blatant in some photos and videos that it was like 2 different people

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The Angle Era
Obtuse, thick, dozy, mental, stunted, oblivious, unstable.... whatever you want to call them, the hard-core Angles have always tried to crawl up her tiny crack. A personal fave of mine - a fan on IG drew this, but Elle never reposted it or responded to it, I wonder why?

Have a lovely day my Tattle Angles xxx

Doing the Lord's good work for us today Orchid, I bloody love you, this is breathtaking