Driving - Anxiety

[Codiaeum]

Does anyone here have an issue with driving a little too close to the left? I started learning to drive in 2019, then the pandemic hit and I gave it up. Trying to pick it back up again but my anxiety is terrible. Doesn't help that my partner is a very nervous passenger. He tells me I'm too close to the left & this is what happened when I started driving it took me months to get my road positioning correct. Just wondering how I can fix it sooner than that. Thanks everyone!

Are you sitting correctly in the car at proper height and with your mirrors the right angle?
I'm really short and one of the first issues I ran into when first learning was actually seeing the dimension of the car so that I would know where I should drive. It's much harder if you're sitting too low or if you can't really see the sides, etc. That would be one easy and free way to check whether it helps you, if you can adjust your seat height a little bit. Some cars now have seats that can also tilt, which is even better, so you can have a better overview.

When I took driving lessons again in 2021 my instructor told me to remember to look where I want to drive, not directly on the road in front of me, as that also makes it easier to stay in the middle of the lane and be a "forward-thinking driver". I found that that also helped me in being a bit less anxious now, I fixated too much on what was just in front of the car, instead of on the whole road...

 

[Cosmo]

Does anyone here have an issue with driving a little too close to the left? I started learning to drive in 2019, then the pandemic hit and I gave it up. Trying to pick it back up again but my anxiety is terrible. Doesn't help that my partner is a very nervous passenger. He tells me I'm too close to the left & this is what happened when I started driving it took me months to get my road positioning correct. Just wondering how I can fix it sooner than that. Thanks everyone!

I'm pretty sure that the tyre is directly in front of your right foot on the accelerator when you are driving. If you know that, you can then work out where you are relative to the road.

That sound obvious now I've written it down but I didn't really realise that it was right there until it was pointed out to me!

 

[Ceebee]

Thanks for the replies! @Codiaeum I will have to make sure I'm sitting at the right height, I will check tomorrow. I'm really short too (4"11) so that could be an issue. @Cosmo I didn't realize that was where the right tyre was! I'll keep it in mind & hopefully it will help.

 

[Magnolia4]

Thanks for the replies! @Codiaeum I will have to make sure I'm sitting at the right height, I will check tomorrow. I'm really short too (4"11) so that could be an issue. @Cosmo I didn't realize that was where the right tyre was! I'll keep it in mind & hopefully it will help.

I am really short too and always struggled with positioning the car properly in the middle of the lane, this video really helped give it a new perspective all their videos are great btw

 

[Kim Mild]

Does anyone here have an issue with driving a little too close to the left? I started learning to drive in 2019, then the pandemic hit and I gave it up. Trying to pick it back up again but my anxiety is terrible. Doesn't help that my partner is a very nervous passenger. He tells me I'm too close to the left & this is what happened when I started driving it took me months to get my road positioning correct. Just wondering how I can fix it sooner than that. Thanks everyone!

Are you sure you are actually too close to the left. My dad used to tell me that when he took me out in his car , but he just wasn't used to sitting in the passenger seat, it might be the same for your partner.

 

[Ceebee]

@Magnolia4 thanks for the video, it's really helpful! @Kim Mild I'm not sure if I am too close or not, I have cerebral palsy so I struggle with spatial awareness but that is a good point maybe that's what it is, thank you.

 

[Codiaeum]

I drove to my usual appointment today, but in a different car and decided to make a detour to the supermarket on my way back and I didn't think at all about either thing I was really happy when I noticed that I didn't make a big deal in my head about something that really isn't a big deal I think my previous drives, one with a totally different car and new route and the one with heavy snowfall and nipping into the supermarket really gave me a confidence boost! Today was full of "bad situations" as well, with all the obstacles you could think of on my lane and I was able to calmly pass them.

 

[tootootoot]

Just popping into this thread with a recommendation for @ ahealthypush on Instagram. I suffered hideously with intrusive thoughts and panic attacks while driving and her content made me feel like I wasn't alone and has helped me hugely. Sending hugs to those going through it

 

[bxiley]

I've been driving for a year now. I put learning off for ages due to lack of money but also anxiety. I drive the same handful of routes, and I feel quite relaxed now. But when I sit at traffic lights, I get thoughts that I'm going to just start driving and go through a red light. When I'm driving and the right turn leads to a motorway, I get thoughts that I'm going to veer into the right lane and then have to go on the motorway (I've still not faced those). I know they're just intrusive thoughts and they are easing with time, but still! Anybody else have this? So frustrating that other people can just get in their car and go where they like. I dread the day I have to go somewhere that isn't work or big Tesco!

 

[Kim Mild]

I've been trying to think about why I get so anxious. I'm sure my ability to do it is fine ,as is my observation and concentration ( at least for the short journeys I do) .

Part of it is that I'm afraid of doing something 'wrong' and being criticised. Even though other drivers make sloppy mistakes and nothing comes of it. I don't know who I expect to do this criticising and what their consequences are but anyway. I'm a bit like that in other aspects of live too.

I'm scared of the car breaking. Even though its highly unlikely that a car would just conk out . When I've had car troubles in the past I've always either been at home, managed to get back home , or I've been able to park up somewhere off the road.

I'm really conscious of noises or feelings from the car , and I can tell if these change.

A lot of it is in my head , I think .

 

[Thank(space)you]

I drove to a local zoo which requires a lot of country lanes. My car doesn't cope well with hills anyway, and because there's a lot of sharp turns I was doing 40/45mph, slowing down to 35 at turns. The car behind was right up my ass like yes I know I'm going slower than the 60mph speed limit but I'd rather go slower knowing I have control of the vehicle then end up bloody crashing

 

[jawidjanqndn]

This sounds so silly but I recently went on holiday and just flying over the uk put everything into perspective for me. Watching the roads and how many roundabouts, cars, lanes.. you name it we actually have, it’s crazy! And then you keep going higher up and realise how small and insignificant these roads are, it doesn’t matter if you are in the wrong lane or whether you might take the wrong exit at a roundabout.

of course I still get anxious about driving but it’s definitely helped put it into perspective and how it really isn’t the end of the world! I drove an hour away from home last week which is the furthest I’ve done! Super proud of myself. Sometimes the drive in your head really isn’t as big as you make it out to be.

I did mention a few weeks back that I had to go on the motorway for a work trip, (I have managed to get a lift there now). So my anxiety hasn’t gone away entirely and I’m not sure it ever will, but thought I’d share if it would help anyone going on holiday soon. Just a nice thought as you are flying over the UK x

 

[Codiaeum]

I think I'm also mostly scared of making a mistake. I can plan my journey, but I can't plan for how other drivers around me behave and that's where most of my anxiety comes from. I probably have some issues with control
But seriously, I'm afraid of someone suddenly pulling out or stuff like that. The damage that can happen might very often just be to the car, but even that is bad enough for me and I would blame myself a lot.
A lot of these situations they say you get better at anticipating when you drive more and that makes sense to me. Still haven't gotten myself to driving the big car though and keep using the small car sharing one I always book, I'm jus so much more comfortable with it, but it also really limits the amount of driving I do, so not too much practice.

 

[lilchicken]

The worst for me is parking especially when I have to park on a road

omg yes. I’m a mess when I have to park.

I passed my driving test when I was 23, but never owned a car until I was 30 and barely drove (living in London and just never needed to, but then moved out to the suburbs).
I’m building up my confidence again - having my fiancé in the car helps as a bit of reassurance.

I don’t know anyone who is as anxious about driving as me. I really wish my parents had helped my learn to drive when I was younger as somehow, I think that would’ve made it easier as opposed to trying to get to grips with it properly in my 30s. Oh well.

i feel a little reassured that I’m not the only one with anxieties over driving!

 

[Roastielover]

I've been trying to think about why I get so anxious. I'm sure my ability to do it is fine ,as is my observation and concentration ( at least for the short journeys I do) .

Part of it is that I'm afraid of doing something 'wrong' and being criticised. Even though other drivers make sloppy mistakes and nothing comes of it. I don't know who I expect to do this criticising and what their consequences are but anyway. I'm a bit like that in other aspects of live too.

I'm scared of the car breaking. Even though its highly unlikely that a car would just conk out . When I've had car troubles in the past I've always either been at home, managed to get back home , or I've been able to park up somewhere off the road.

I'm really conscious of noises or feelings from the car , and I can tell if these change.

A lot of it is in my head , I think .

i could have written this! Exactly how I feel too!

 

[lilchicken]

i could have written this! Exactly how I feel too!

same!

I was walking my dog the other day and a car stopped beside me on the road waiting for lights. The driver had all the windows down and was blasting god awful music. She hit the curb completely and must’ve done some real damage to her allows, but seemed pretty unphased. Her car was covered in scraped and marks. Her Frenchie was in the back seat, totally unsecured. She proceeded to beep someone ahead of her because they took a franction of a second too long to take off when the lights turned green.

I thought - FFS if there are people like that driving along the roads, who clearly do not gaf then I really don’t need to worry about me, there are bigger problems out there.

drove myself and my fiancé to the coast that same weekend without any problems.

I think it’s our inner people pleasers that make us too worried about what other people/drivers think.

 

[Thank(space)you]

I drove a route I hate at the weekend. I've only done in 3 times (including the weekend) since I passed my test. However, it's the only way to get to the zoo & I did it because I am determined not to let my daughter miss out on experiences because of my driving anxiety. It was fine.

On the way back, a driver was clearly annoyed I was going slower than the speed limit & I slowed right down for twisty corners (country lanes) but as soon as it was safe to do so, I let the driver pass me.

 

[Kim Mild]

same!

I was walking my dog the other day and a car stopped beside me on the road waiting for lights. The driver had all the windows down and was blasting god awful music. She hit the curb completely and must’ve done some real damage to her allows, but seemed pretty unphased. Her car was covered in scraped and marks. Her Frenchie was in the back seat, totally unsecured. She proceeded to beep someone ahead of her because they took a franction of a second too long to take off when the lights turned green.

I thought - FFS if there are people like that driving along the roads, who clearly do not gaf then I really don’t need to worry about me, there are bigger problems out there.

drove myself and my fiancé to the coast that same weekend without any problems.

I think it’s our inner people pleasers that make us too worried about what other people/drivers think.

The people who appear confident drivers aren't always any better at doing it.

 

[37BBL]

It's definitely other drivers for me too. I worry they will pull out on me, get annoyed behind me or drive too close to me. My daughter has been invited to a birthday party which is about 30 minutes away from us in another town. She wants to go and my hubby can't take her. I'll take her, because I don't want her to miss out. But I'm already worrying about the drive. I have to exit one roundabout close to a motorway and I'm petrified I'll end up on the M6.
It's so annoying, I wish I could just have the confidence to drive there no issue. Unfortunately for me, I don't think I'll ever be that sort of driver.

 

[Lorny]

It's definitely other drivers for me too. I worry they will pull out on me, get annoyed behind me or drive too close to me. My daughter has been invited to a birthday party which is about 30 minutes away from us in another town. She wants to go and my hubby can't take her. I'll take her, because I don't want her to miss out. But I'm already worrying about the drive. I have to exit one roundabout close to a motorway and I'm petrified I'll end up on the M6.
It's so annoying, I wish I could just have the confidence to drive there no issue. Unfortunately for me, I don't think I'll ever be that sort of driver.

I’m starting to feel like this too about being that sort of driver. I get so disheartened that I can’t just jump in the car and go. Everything has to be thought about and considered. Someone couldn’t just say to me, let’s meet up in an hour if I have to drive there because I simply can’t drive that way. I love the thought of the freedom driving would give me but the actual act of driving is so terrifying to me. I know that once I’m in the car I’m absolutely fine but I just overthink everything. I have my wee routes I’m comfortable with but anything more is an ordeal.