Driving - Anxiety

[Ensay]

At times like this, it's important to remember that you know how to drive a car and that's the hardest part. You've got all those skills and you can apply them to unfamiliar roads, you just think you can't.

Maybe going on a trial run when the roads are quieter might help. Not necessarily going the whole route, but at least some of the way. That takes some of the unknown 'fear factor' out of it. When you drive it fine (and you will) you'll start to increase in confidence and will realise you do have those skills.

A lot of people are nervous of motorways, but they're among the safest roads. If you think about it, you only really have to think about lane changes. Otherwise you just point the car forward and can largely use cruise control, apart from in heavy traffic and then it's just like any other road where you crawl along until you're past the blockage.

I'm not trying to make it sound easy, though. I know it can be hard, but it's really about having a go. If you don't try, then you may never do it, whereas if you make yourself do it you'll give yourself that confidence boost you need.

My mum has got like this. Over time she's gradually dropped more and more drives from her "I can do this" list. Examples are: driving at night, driving in unfamiliar areas, dual carriageways, etc. So now she's at the point where she will only drive in the day around her local town. A few times I've encouraged her to have a go at driving somewhere new (with me in the passenger seat to help if needs be). When she's built up the courage to do it she's always been fine. I'm trying my best to take more and more things off the "I can't do this" list - one at a time. We'll get there!

 

[Dinky]

I could have written this post. I started driving at 17 and I'm 35 now and have these feelings every day. It mainly started when I became a parent. Before then I'd give anything a go, now I have kids to worry about I check and fret every detail. I've seen myself missing out on things due to worrying about the car parking situation!! I need to get a grip before my children start missing out

 

[Popcornshovel]

I totally sympathise with all this. I feel it's such a big responsibility driving a car - it's a big hunk of metal going at a speed which could kill someone!

Add to that the UK's roads and streets weren't laid out in the age of the car (unlike the US with grid systems), so we're driving cars around streets meant for horses and carts.

Car park spaces are made for car sizes from the 1980s! And traffic is so much worse than even 10 years ago.

 

[37BBL]

I did it I was so worried but kept calm and before I knew it we had 10 minutes left and were in the residential area.
A couple cars overtook me but I wasn't bothered.
The way back was probably a bit worse as it was dark but just took it steady. I won't love it next week, not sure I'll ever love driving further out of my town, but I'll be much less nervous!
And my son absolutely smashed his first session and we had a nugget share box once we got back home

 

[Thank(space)you]

My driving anxiety has improved so much from doing more driving, it's unreal. I'm still more anxious than a lot of my friends, but I'm fine with that. I drove myself and my child on a family holiday this week, 70 miles away, never driven there before, wasn't anxious at all! And only a little anxious on the way back due to the bad weather. There were lots of roundabouts, A roads, motorway, country lanes and I bossed it

 

[bxiley]

This! I heard someone bragging they were doing over 100mph on the motorway the other day

People laugh at me for being such a cautious driver but why wouldn't you be?!

I think this is the root of my driving anxiety. I can control my driving, but I can't control others, and you never know what idiotic move they might pull. When the roads are empty, I'm totally fine!

 

[Magnolia4]

I would be the world’s best driver if I could do it some place where no other cars exist

 

[Thank(space)you]

I've been really brave and pushing myself out my comfort zone. Driven to 5!! New places in the last month where 4 of them were country roads which is my biggest hate/fear. All of them were about an hour or more away. I know it doesn't sound like much but I'm really proud of myself.

 

[jawidjanqndn]

This sounds so silly but I recently went on holiday and just flying over the uk put everything into perspective for me. Watching the roads and how many roundabouts, cars, lanes.. you name it we actually have, it’s crazy! And then you keep going higher up and realise how small and insignificant these roads are, it doesn’t matter if you are in the wrong lane or whether you might take the wrong exit at a roundabout.

of course I still get anxious about driving but it’s definitely helped put it into perspective and how it really isn’t the end of the world! I drove an hour away from home last week which is the furthest I’ve done! Super proud of myself. Sometimes the drive in your head really isn’t as big as you make it out to be.

I did mention a few weeks back that I had to go on the motorway for a work trip, (I have managed to get a lift there now). So my anxiety hasn’t gone away entirely and I’m not sure it ever will, but thought I’d share if it would help anyone going on holiday soon. Just a nice thought as you are flying over the UK x

 

[Nonocat]

I was v similar before lockdown and decided to take motorway lessons to improve my confidence. If you haven’t done them I’d really recommend - next weekend I’m driving from the peak district to London & it won’t bother me, whereas three years ago I wouldn’t have even considered it as an option.

 

[smellsofbiscuits]

Ah, I have found my people! Passed my test nearly 10 years ago after over 40 lessons and on my fourth attempt. Drove only if I had to but then had to get my own car after we moved house and I became pregnant. The car lot wouldn't let both my husband and I go out at the same time for a test drive. I was so anxious driving with a stranger in the car that I refused to do it. So we bought my first car without me having ever driven it

Absolutely hate driving and am in the middle of learning a new route thanks to changing jobs. It involves lots of motorway driving at rush hour, both morning and evening. Part of my route involves navigating a roundabout where there's almost an accident every week, mostly with drivers bombing 70mph down the dual carriageway and somehow missing all the signs indicating there's a roundabout up ahead. Lately, I genuinely feel like I'm taking my life in my hands when I drive on it (according to the local Facebook group, I'm not the only person that feels that way!).

I've been reading through these posts and got some excellent tips on how to manage my anxiety. I'm embarrassed to say that I partly turned down a job interview as I looked up the destination on Google Maps, which revealed it was all tight, on street parking with no handy large supermarket car park nearby

For me, I loathe being on the motorway when it's coming up to a slip road especially one on my commute home. The outside lane is full of arseholes speeding past so you can't move over. If you slow down to allow traffic to enter the motorway then you run the risk of causing a pile up. This is a particularly bad one with next to no visibility until the very last second. I usually hold my breath when I drive past I've looked up the Highway Code and it does state that drivers on the slip road have no automatic right of way. But fat lot of good that does you when one tries to squeeze into a tiny gap in front of you.

My partner keeps telling me that I have road rage but I think it's because I have a lower capacity for arseholes than he does He's also been driving for nearly 20 years so can't really complain too much.

 

[37BBL]

I made it got the the point I knew and then it was fairly easy. A couple cars over took me on the country roads but I'd rather they did that than stay up my rear end. Made it 10 minutes early and on the way home we had a celebration subway

 

[Codiaeum]

I had a good, confidence-boosting drive today!

I basically always just drive the same thing as I mainly borrow a car to get to and from a specific place, but today the road was blocked with a vehicle and no way to pass it, so I had to not only reverse back into the traffic but also had to figure out on the spot how to get there without knowing the way and looking it up before. I smashed it Just drove on and even though it was full of one-way-streets I didn't get lost (or drive against the direction) and arrived in time. Stupidly proud of it, but I don't have a very good sense of direction and typically look up the way before going anywhere.
On my way back a few cyclists I had to pass in a very narrow street and I decided to just not pass them until I felt safe to do so and just drove very slowly.

 

[Delia Smith]

I hate driving. I avoid it when I can because I would beat myself up over any mistake I make. I passed in my early 30’s in a small town and drove very little. Wish I’d passed much younger tbh. Then I moved to Leeds and found it even scarier, people are more aggressive drivers here and there’s an horrible inner city motorway.
I find any motorway so difficult which sounds pathetic. Too fast and too much going on. Like a sensory overload if there’s more than 3 lanes.
I also hate parking and struggle in busy supermarkets. The lanes and bays don’t seem wide enough to me cos of my crap spatial awareness.

 

[Upintheair83]

There's never been a time where iv not had driving anxiety, but yday when I was picking my little boy up from nursery I knocked a car on the car park. It was absolutely my fault, I just find it so hard doing manoeuvres. Usually I pick 'drive through' car park spaces, but there wasn't one. And now I'm in absolute panic mode with the thought of going back there, it actually makes me feel so sick and short of breath. The bloke who's car it was, was so lovely to me. But iv left traumatised! I know it sounds so ridiculous because it was just a knock but that's how bad my anxiety with driving is.

 

[Cosmo]

I don't know if this helps anyone but there are two things that help me with driving.

One is using Google maps on my phone to give me directions out loud as I go. I find it really calming as I don't have to think and it's like having a friend helping you out. Even if I know where I'm going I put her on and it really does help.

The second is doing a running commentary. It's an advanced driving technique I think. You basically say out loud everything that's going on and what you see. Here's a link that explains it:

What is a commentary drive and how can it improve your driving? - Highway Code Resources

A commentary drive is where you describe what you are doing as you are driving. It’s a technique used by advanced drivers such as the police. This video shows a high speed commentary drive by a police officer through urban…Read more ›

mocktheorytest.com

Something about it overrides the panicked part of your brain and helps you to concentrate. It engages the logical part of your mind. I totally recommend it. Even if you feel slightly stupid doing it on your own, no one can tell!

 

[chelseag]

I’ve been really reassured and helped by this uk based guy 1stdrive on youtube. He explains where some of the panic comes from and gives realistic tools. Fear of bridges, motorways, new places, overtaking, night driving etc. You can also find some of his videos on Instagram

Instagram

Create an account or log in to Instagram - Share what you're into with the people who get you.

www.instagram.com

 

[mousse]

I’m glad I found this thread although I’m nowhere near as bad as I was 10 years ago (when I had a panic attack when I couldn’t park somewhere for a work thing and quit the job on the spot for similar reasons days later).

Some of the things which have helped me:
This book: https://amzn.eu/d/hahzsv1
Driving an automatic
Beta blockers
Driving a smaller car
Anti depressants
Nervous humming
My husband breaking his leg so I had no choice but to drive
All of the parking sensors and cameras
Driving a faster car
Avoiding places where the car parks are too busy even if it means walking further
Always listening to the same music
Never parallel parking
I can’t drive with an audience
Shouting at other drivers

 

[Thank(space)you]

Drove up to the quantocks recently which always scares me as once broke down on a steep hill. Was so proud of myself for doing it. Had a few impatient people up my ass on the way back because I was doing 40 in a 60, but it was dark, an Amber weather warning, raining and I don't know the roads so wasn't prepared to do 60.

 

[Codiaeum]

I drove to my usual appointment today, but in a different car and decided to make a detour to the supermarket on my way back and I didn't think at all about either thing I was really happy when I noticed that I didn't make a big deal in my head about something that really isn't a big deal I think my previous drives, one with a totally different car and new route and the one with heavy snowfall and nipping into the supermarket really gave me a confidence boost! Today was full of "bad situations" as well, with all the obstacles you could think of on my lane and I was able to calmly pass them.