Does anyone hate their job? #3

[Codiaeum]

I've declined further interviews with the one company I mentioned above, was rejected from another one (kind of expected that, sounded very cool, but a bit of a moonshot for me, so no hard feelings) and have been invited to a screening call next week. i hadn't even expected to hear from that third company anymore, I applied a month ago and the listing was offline a week later. I'm a bit hesitant there whether they can match my salary expectations but it won't hurt me to spend an hour with them.
Job is so bad at the moment I had to go to my manager and explain that my meeting load has become unsustainable due to being involved in too many things, working across timezones, etc. She was very understanding, reset some expectations with another team that I'm working with and that I shouldn't go to their meetings anymore, but that doesn't really help me, as where those meetings where, there were also other ones I simply couldn't go to. There's always something else, my afternoons are pretty much a 4h stretch of meetings these days. I'm not good with that, tbh, I get really horrible headaches from these extended meetings and once threw up because of it. I've put a 30 min break in my calendar which would make my day much better, but due to the "timezone problem" people don't respect it and simply tell me that that was the only slot they could find.

Yesterday I was berated by another person for not having had a finalized plan for a project (I was off for two weeks and another person, who has just left the company was supposed to do that) and that I really need to have regular meetings with the people in the project. When do people realize that work does not happen in meetings? Especially across timezones!

 

[TheGlossy]

I need some advice.

My departing manager has requested formal feedback on them for their own appraisal. While I have them a positive feedback at the end of last year despite all they put me through, I’m not willing to reiterate the same this year.

They’ve not provided me with a single feedback since January, when I know for fact they’ve been praising other people. The only feedback I has was in January when they said they have very high standards & expecting me to meet them would unrealistic (then proceeded to say they’d help me get as close as possible ).

If I don’t provide feedback, it will burn a bridge but at the same time, I want them to be aware that I’m not an idiot and I don’t think I owe any feedback to someone who clearly treated me like a second class citizen.

 

[Meg78]

Sorry I don’t know where else to go to talk about this. Having a clearout and came across an old camera, inside the case was a mystery memory card…. I expected to find some holiday snaps or parties, but instead I found a bunch of saved emails between my ex coworkers with a huge list of reasons why they hated me I left the role a few years ago after experiencing a nervous breakdown at the hands of these people, seeing in black and white just how much deeper their hatred flowed than I ever realised has left me shaking and teary all weekend, I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s been years now so I feel dramatic for how much it’s affected me, but it’s like I’m suddenly back in that office walking on eggshells having cried the whole commute there again Is it normal to still feel so upset a while after leaving a toxic job behind?

 

[Sheeeet]

Sorry I don’t know where else to go to talk about this. Having a clearout and came across an old camera, inside the case was a mystery memory card…. I expected to find some holiday snaps or parties, but instead I found a bunch of saved emails between my ex coworkers with a huge list of reasons why they hated me I left the role a few years ago after experiencing a nervous breakdown at the hands of these people, seeing in black and white just how much deeper their hatred flowed than I ever realised has left me shaking and teary all weekend, I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s been years now so I feel dramatic for how much it’s affected me, but it’s like I’m suddenly back in that office walking on eggshells having cried the whole commute there again Is it normal to still feel so upset a while after leaving a toxic job behind?

That sounds horrendous, I'm sorry that happened to you. I don't know if it's normal but I'm just the same about a job I left 8 or 9 years ago and I only recently saw an email I'd sent to someone about it at the time. That place wrecked me, my confidence and how I relate to work so I might have a little insight for you.

Could it be a form of PTSD? In any case, I'd most definitely get some (talking?) therapy about it if you haven't already and, unless you were planning some form of action against them where you'd need that evidence, maybe burn the card (or some kind of action that's not just deleting it, it needs some kind of closure imho).

I hope you know by now the problem was them and not you, no-one deserves that sort of treatment. Whatever their issue with you was it didn't deserve group bullying. I hope you can get the help and peace you deserve.

 

[no-no]

Sorry I don’t know where else to go to talk about this. Having a clearout and came across an old camera, inside the case was a mystery memory card…. I expected to find some holiday snaps or parties, but instead I found a bunch of saved emails between my ex coworkers with a huge list of reasons why they hated me I left the role a few years ago after experiencing a nervous breakdown at the hands of these people, seeing in black and white just how much deeper their hatred flowed than I ever realised has left me shaking and teary all weekend, I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s been years now so I feel dramatic for how much it’s affected me, but it’s like I’m suddenly back in that office walking on eggshells having cried the whole commute there again Is it normal to still feel so upset a while after leaving a toxic job behind?

Completely normal to still be upset by their campaign. The workplace is a sobering insight into humans as primitive animals

Anywhere where people feel the need to compete for resources, status, or power, it’s like the smoke and mirrors of our civilised veneer gets stripped away and you find people acting in packs like this.

 

[Meg78]

Thank you both, I’ve never experienced bullying like it not even in school, some of the things were obvious targets like my appearance or strategies I used with clients, but some of the more bizarre reasons on their list included “offers help when not asked”, “doesn’t say good morning loudly enough” and “eats lunch the wrong way”! If someone has the time to swivel in their chair, stare across the office until I’ve finished a yoghurt and then swivel back to critique I really don’t know what else I can do for them. I tried so hard to change every single thing about myself to please this group, I made myself ill with the stress of trying to figure out how to make it stop, they would target every single element of both my character and my work, and I was damn good at my job, I brought in four times as much revenue as all of them combined! I’ve woken up angry today can you tell they still work there and I can’t help wondering if they chose their next victim, it makes me want to speak out but after years I don’t think there’s much I can do?

 

[EleanorRigby]

I was damn good at my job, I brought in four times as much revenue as all of them combined!

And that's the reason why they targetted you right there. They couldn't get anywhere near achieving what you did so they ganged up on you to make them feel less inadequate. Absolutely pathetic but sadly Tall Poppy Syndrome happens all too regularly in workplaces. Strong management would deal with this effectively but we know decent managers are as rare as hen's teeth.

 

[tomato_paste]

Just tried to correlate my job's travel reimbursements with the amounts they transferred, and I can't for the life of me figure out if I got all of my money back or not. Doesn't help that they never send my wage slips without me asking for them (illegal in my country, but I said this multiple times already and they don't give a tit), and the whole travel reimbursement procedure is just bleeping horrendous. We're almost a hundred people now, and still, for every conference or meeting we have, each one of us has to book their own hotel (which is just stupid from a financial POV as well - we could certainly get a great group rate if the company booked for us), and each of us has to pre-pay with out own money and then hand in the travel expenses. It's ludicrous, I have to regularly spend a thousand euros for conferences which I then have to ask back for.

 

[olive&salmon]

I hate my job. There is no progression. It’s a very menial job with no satisfaction. I’ve been applying for jobs but not getting anywhere. Has anyone been in the same situation?

 

[keepyourpeace]

I hate my job. There is no progression. It’s a very menial job with no satisfaction. I’ve been applying for jobs but not getting anywhere. Has anyone been in the same situation?

Yup! Well the applying and not getting anywhere. Had two interviews last Monday and I haven't heard back from either of them. I would rather not hear anything back from applications then have to do interviews and be ghosted.

 

[LifeOfMog]

I hate my job. There is no progression. It’s a very menial job with no satisfaction. I’ve been applying for jobs but not getting anywhere. Has anyone been in the same situation?

I feel your pain, desperate to get out of where I am but I cannot seem to find anything!!!

 

[mee43]

Yes I hate my job.
Well maybe not the job itself, but the way the place is run; the management; the cliques; the way the boss has their favourites; the lack of support ….
I’ve not been there long, I’m trying to hold out until I’ve done a year before I leave.

 

[Samf2020]

Yes I hate my job.
Well maybe not the job itself, but the way the place is run; the management; the cliques; the way the boss has their favourites; the lack of support ….
I’ve not been there long, I’m trying to hold out until I’ve done a year before I leave.

This is exactly my work life right now, except I am one of longest serving staff and its the newbies who are treated as gods.

 

[Jas28]

So I’m the only poc at my work place and surprise surprise I’m being micro managed. Our supervisor gives me very tight deadlines and very urgent requests and does not do the same for others in the team as I have seen. I think I’ve spoken about this before on here as well with the isolating behaviour and such and expecting to overshare and ignoring my politeness otherwise. I’m not sure what their aim is treating me this way, I just get on with my work. I would be mortified I was treating people unequally. I’m just getting on with it and making sure everything is documented but it does take its toll. I am looking for a company which is more diverse and hopefully has good people.

 

[Samf2020]

Ive noticed one of my team mates keeps giving me filthy looks and generally ignoring me.
I know she is desperate for promotion and is making it obvious. I suspect if they dont give it to her she will tell them shes leaving.
I think the fact I have a bit more leeway than her is getting to her.
I have better hours and I get a better bonus as Im here longer.
She is just one of the many reasons why this job is becoming unbearable.

 

[Jas28]

Ive noticed one of my team mates keeps giving me filthy looks and generally ignoring me.
I know she is desperate for promotion and is making it obvious. I suspect if they dont give it to her she will tell them shes leaving.
I think the fact I have a bit more leeway than her is getting to her.
I have better hours and I get a better bonus as Im here longer.
She is just one of the many reasons why this job is becoming unbearable.

When people want a promotion or level, it brings out the worst in them. I don’t really see how higher management don’t see through bs tbh. I have a colleague like that too desperate for recognition but we are all doing the same job so there’s nothing special that she’s doing or any different skills to everyone else. Stepping on others toes is never ok and if they’re willing to treat one person that way they’ll continue to do it and it’ll eventually come out

 

[Samf2020]

When people want a promotion or level, it brings out the worst in them. I don’t really see how higher management don’t see through bs tbh. I have a colleague like that too desperate for recognition but we are all doing the same job so there’s nothing special that she’s doing or any different skills to everyone else. Stepping on others toes is never ok and if they’re willing to treat one person that way they’ll continue to do it and it’ll eventually come out

Thing is I work for weird people, they see her coming in an hour early as dedication not that she has admitted to having terrible road rage and needs to get in before too much traffic would cause her to have a row every morning.
Its half year review time so she has ramped up the "look at me "to get the idea of promotion in their heads before end of year.

 

[tomato_paste]

So I’m the only poc at my work place and surprise surprise I’m being micro managed. Our supervisor gives me very tight deadlines and very urgent requests and does not do the same for others in the team as I have seen. I think I’ve spoken about this before on here as well with the isolating behaviour and such and expecting to overshare and ignoring my politeness otherwise. I’m not sure what their aim is treating me this way, I just get on with my work. I would be mortified I was treating people unequally. I’m just getting on with it and making sure everything is documented but it does take its toll. I am looking for a company which is more diverse and hopefully has good people.

Microaggression like this is bleeping awful, I'm so sorry!

Do you have anyone, like a HR department or is it a small company? You could (and should) document their behaviour - for example, email yourself immediately any time your supervisor does something discriminatory, like having work deadlines only for you, or micromanaging your work, and your work only. If you do have a HR, it might help to point them towards the Equality Act together with your evidence if you're ready to take that step.

Additionally, you could call or email the EASS , even if it's just to get an understanding of what your options are.

 

[Jas28]

Microaggression like this is bleeping awful, I'm so sorry!

Do you have anyone, like a HR department or is it a small company? You could (and should) document their behaviour - for example, email yourself immediately any time your supervisor does something discriminatory, like having work deadlines only for you, or micromanaging your work, and your work only. If you do have a HR, it might help to point them towards the Equality Act together with your evidence if you're ready to take that step.

Additionally, you could call or email the EASS , even if it's just to get an understanding of what your options are.

Thank you for your kind words. Won’t they just say it’s part of the job with the deadlines. I really dislike confrontation

 

[Becca0888]

Advice please

Is it unprofessional to let your current employer know you won’t be able to attend today due to having a job interview.

(Background) I work in a school has a lunchtime supervisor, my current hours are around 8 hours a week so not ideal.
I am still in receipt of certain benefits due to being on a 0-hour contract.
Not only do I myself want more hours but the dwp also want more hours from me which is understandable.

Dwp asked me to apply for this certain job, so I did! I found out this morning that I have a job interview today, it’s more hours and I can finally come off benefits

I rang the school where I work and explained I wouldn’t be attending today, they asked why and I explained I had a job interview that I needed to attend, not only for me but for dwp has I have commitments with them.
Initially they were fine.

5 minutes later the admin team rang me and lets me know from the ‘head teacher’ that I was unprofessional letting them know I have a job interview and that I am unprofessional for letting them know I am actively applying for jobs.

I explained that I have no choice with being in receipt of benefits, I have to apply for further employment. They then asked for my work coach’ number so they can ring them and “have my back” by letting them know I have a job at the school and that should be enough for them.

What do I do? And what did I do wrong?