Deborah James - bowelbabe

[jackolantern]

I’m so sorry about your Dad.

I don’t really have anything to say about the rights and wrongs of BB’s behaviour but I’ve been following this thread with interest.
I’m still very broken mentally by the loss of my Dad and the, at times, dehumanising treatment of him by the NHS.
I’m not currently strong enough or energetic enough to do it, but I’d love to try and start a campaign for the NHS to focus as much on the patient (and their loved ones) as human beings and more than just the elements of the disease being treated. Particularly with terminal cancer.
Your post resonated with me because I felt that there was too much clinical detachment at times towards my Dad. A complete unwillingness to involve him or his family in any decisions made. Culminating in writing him off when the only treatment offered failed.
I’m still quite traumatised and guilt ridden by the fact that he was shut in a hospital room for weeks towards the end of his life, with no stimulation between visiting times. Just laying there staring at a wall until we fought to get him home.
I think this plunged him into depression and hastened his decline.
So I strongly feel that the picture painted of the care given in the NHS system is very inaccurate. Not just on BB’s insta posts but in lots of other areas of media too.
I’m glad for Deborah that seemingly all the stops are being pulled out to keep her alive. I hope it succeeds for as long as possible.
I just wish the very best of care was available for everyone.

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad also I too found the whole 'process' to be very similar as you described. Both him and my Grandma who went through a near identical thing a few years later, were essentially left to die once their one treatment option failed. There honestly wasn't even much in the way of minimising their pain or supporting them emotionally. I remember vividly how much my Dad had to go through to even claim disability allowance. He was quite literally dying and he had to fight to prove it for mere pittance to keep a roof over his head. Of course that in itself isn't anything to do with the NHS, but things like this are the broader experience of many terminally ill patients as a whole. Not at all akin to Deborah's. When my Grandma was dying in a hospice she begged me to help her die in the same day that the hospice team were telling us if she didn't die quickly enough she'd have to leave because she was bed blocking.

Again, on a personal level I resent Deborah nothing. I resent what the image of Deborah stands for, which is that money talks and your life is only worth something if you have it. So when Deborah is dancing around, it's people like my Dad and Grandma who are sat watching her wondering why they aren't so important. Of course it's very easy to take things personally and project onto someone who's fault it isn't, but I think it's understandable when people have been through so much and there is such horrendous inequality.

None of us want her to lose any of her opportunities. We just want everyone to be treated the same and because that will never happen, it should be made more clear and a false image shouldn't be allowed to be painted.

 

[Bristolgirl]

Again, on a personal level I resent Deborah nothing. I resent what the image of Deborah stands for, which is that money talks and your life is only worth something if you have it. So when Deborah is dancing around, it's people like my Dad and Grandma who are sat watching her wondering why they aren't so important.

This is what anyone who defends Deborah’s behaviour needs to read, and read again.

The fact that she isn’t using her high profile to call out and condemn the disparity in her treatment compared to most is to her shame. A beautiful young mum called Kelly (kickasskell) died prematurely when her treatment was halted by Covid. Her family are working hard to raise the issues surrounding cancer treatment. Deborah briefly touched on it, but it was a long time ago and before she forgot why she started her account.

And in anticipation of responses that Deborah isn’t obliged to do good, it is my firm belief that people in positions of power and privilege (not just monetary) have a responsibility to help those more vulnerable. Deborah doesn’t give a flying duck about anybody else. I think she’s horrible.

 

[Brummiebird]

Can’t say I have particular strong feelings about BB either way, but I am absolutely incensed that she has managed to get a visit from her Mother.
My friend’s Mother has been an inpatient at the Royal Marsden since before Christmas. They struggle to even get through on the phone to get their allowed daily update on how she is. Her Mother is 87 and it is very likely that she won’t be coming out of that hospital alive. My friend has sobbed many, many times down the phone asking to be allowed to visit for even just 5 minutes. She hasn’t been allowed.
It’s utterly despicable that BB, who despite her diagnosis, I am assuming is not end of life currently, has been allowed a visit for vanity and social media purposes. I can ensure you that my friend will be raising it with the Board of the Royal Marsden as she is furious.

I’m so sorry about your Dad.

I don’t really have anything to say about the rights and wrongs of BB’s behaviour but I’ve been following this thread with interest.
I’m still very broken mentally by the loss of my Dad and the, at times, dehumanising treatment of him by the NHS.
I’m not currently strong enough or energetic enough to do it, but I’d love to try and start a campaign for the NHS to focus as much on the patient (and their loved ones) as human beings and more than just the elements of the disease being treated. Particularly with terminal cancer.
Your post resonated with me because I felt that there was too much clinical detachment at times towards my Dad. A complete unwillingness to involve him or his family in any decisions made. Culminating in writing him off when the only treatment offered failed.
I’m still quite traumatised and guilt ridden by the fact that he was shut in a hospital room for weeks towards the end of his life, with no stimulation between visiting times. Just laying there staring at a wall until we fought to get him home.
I think this plunged him into depression and hastened his decline.
So I strongly feel that the picture painted of the care given in the NHS system is very inaccurate. Not just on BB’s insta posts but in lots of other areas of media too.
I’m glad for Deborah that seemingly all the stops are being pulled out to keep her alive. I hope it succeeds for as long as possible.
I just wish the very best of care was available for everyone.

This be we is my heart, I am so sorry for what you had to go through.

 

[Simbama12]

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad also I too found the whole 'process' to be very similar as you described. Both him and my Grandma who went through a near identical thing a few years later, were essentially left to die once their one treatment option failed. There honestly wasn't even much in the way of minimising their pain or supporting them emotionally. I remember vividly how much my Dad had to go through to even claim disability allowance. He was quite literally dying and he had to fight to prove it for mere pittance to keep a roof over his head. Of course that in itself isn't anything to do with the NHS, but things like this are the broader experience of many terminally ill patients as a whole. Not at all akin to Deborah's. When my Grandma was dying in a hospice she begged me to help her die in the same day that the hospice team were telling us if she didn't die quickly enough she'd have to leave because she was bed blocking.

Again, on a personal level I resent Deborah nothing. I resent what the image of Deborah stands for, which is that money talks and your life is only worth something if you have it. So when Deborah is dancing around, it's people like my Dad and Grandma who are sat watching her wondering why they aren't so important. Of course it's very easy to take things personally and project onto someone who's fault it isn't, but I think it's understandable when people have been through so much and there is such horrendous inequality.

None of us want her to lose any of her opportunities. We just want everyone to be treated the same and because that will never happen, it should be made more clear and a false image shouldn't be allowed to be painted.

These stories are breaking my heart I lost my mum a few years ago to Spinal cancer, a very painful ending for her. I had no idea cancer treatment could be paid for privately, shows how naive I am I assumed she was getting all Of this (OPTIONS) via NHS.

just wanted to send my love those of you who have lost recently

 

[OH.FFS]

Can’t say I have particular strong feelings about BB either way, but I am absolutely incensed that she has managed to get a visit from her Mother.
My friend’s Mother has been an inpatient at the Royal Marsden since before Christmas. They struggle to even get through on the phone to get their allowed daily update on how she is. Her Mother is 87 and it is very likely that she won’t be coming out of that hospital alive. My friend has sobbed many, many times down the phone asking to be allowed to visit for even just 5 minutes. She hasn’t been allowed.
It’s utterly despicable that BB, who despite her diagnosis, I am assuming is not end of life currently, has been allowed a visit for vanity and social media purposes. I can ensure you that my friend will be raising it with the Board of the Royal Marsden as she is furious.



This be we is my heart, I am so sorry for what you had to go through.

this is the part of BB’s way, life, and account… there was a point at the beginning of lockdown where she was ‘moaning’ about her right to go out for a run and be protected by others staying in she’s so up her own arse it’s not true.

Why the f**k can she have a visitor when others have been denied it? Children, wives, husbands, mothers, fathers have died alone while she’s ENTITLED…

MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL …

 

[It’s The Truman Show]

Completely agree. X

I’m so sorry to read about these terrible experiences. Heartbreaking. Does anyone remember Dr Kate Granger? She was a doctor who sadly died of cancer, but in her final few years she started the “hello my name is….” campaign and described what it is like to be on the other side. NHS staff were given new name badges and were encouraged to introduce themselves properly. I think we are very poor in this country at treating so many patients with appropriate dignity and respect, I’m thinking dementia patients and people suffering other illnesses too. I always think of treating patients how I or how I’d like my own loved ones to be treated.

 

[Pass_the_popcorn#2]

As much as I love my mother, if there was strict visitation rules, or a no visitation policy as it sounds there is, and I was able to beg for a visit for my MH, I would rather be able to see and cuddle my children and/or husband. I really did assume she had visits from everyone but just showed her Mum there as BG is all about the publicity. I’m shocked that this isn’t the case and the mother gets priority. Weird AF to me.

 

[Stealingstyle]

She was only allowed visits from her mother due to BBs mental health. She cried loudly about it when she was in hospital last time and they eventually let her mother in. At the time I thought it very unfair why her mental health mattered mote than others.

 

[jackolantern]

She was only allowed visits from her mother due to BBs mental health. She cried loudly about it when she was in hospital last time and they eventually let her mother in. At the time I thought it very unfair why her mental health mattered mote than others.

Realistically I don't think the doctors/nurses there will feel her mental health matters more than that of others. It's probably more a case of 'those who shout the loudest' combined with the fact she has a public platform and they won't have wanted to deal with any fallout. Another unfortunate example of her privilege. For anyone else their upset at the situation would be behind the scenes and therefore easier to cover up.

 

[Stealingstyle]

Yes and that it very sad and totally tit for those respectful of the rules.
Her mental health recovered very quickly if I remember as she got out, bought a dior bag and went to the tennis, holidays etc, carried on dancing etc.

 

[Queeniebee]

This is what anyone who defends Deborah’s behaviour needs to read, and read again.

The fact that she isn’t using her high profile to call out and condemn the disparity in her treatment compared to most is to her shame. A beautiful young mum called Kelly (kickasskell) died prematurely when her treatment was halted by Covid. Her family are working hard to raise the issues surrounding cancer treatment. Deborah briefly touched on it, but it was a long time ago and before she forgot why she started her account.

And in anticipation of responses that Deborah isn’t obliged to do good, it is my firm belief that people in positions of power and privilege (not just monetary) have a responsibility to help those more vulnerable. Deborah doesn’t give a flying duck about anybody else. I think she’s horrible.

Was devastated when Kelly died! I had followed her again when I first got diagnosed! I felt like BB had gripped onto Kels story of her treatment being stopped during covid to grasp some of the attention herself! Once Kelly passed away no other mention of her from BB

As much as I love my mother, if there was strict visitation rules, or a no visitation policy as it sounds there is, and I was able to beg for a visit for my MH, I would rather be able to see and cuddle my children and/or husband. I really did assume she had visits from everyone but just showed her Mum there as BG is all about the publicity. I’m shocked that this isn’t the case and the mother gets priority. Weird AF to me.

BOwel Gran has herself too jumped on the insta fame because of it all!

 

[Behelzabobs]

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad also I too found the whole 'process' to be very similar as you described. Both him and my Grandma who went through a near identical thing a few years later, were essentially left to die once their one treatment option failed. There honestly wasn't even much in the way of minimising their pain or supporting them emotionally. I remember vividly how much my Dad had to go through to even claim disability allowance. He was quite literally dying and he had to fight to prove it for mere pittance to keep a roof over his head. Of course that in itself isn't anything to do with the NHS, but things like this are the broader experience of many terminally ill patients as a whole. Not at all akin to Deborah's. When my Grandma was dying in a hospice she begged me to help her die in the same day that the hospice team were telling us if she didn't die quickly enough she'd have to leave because she was bed blocking.

Again, on a personal level I resent Deborah nothing. I resent what the image of Deborah stands for, which is that money talks and your life is only worth something if you have it. So when Deborah is dancing around, it's people like my Dad and Grandma who are sat watching her wondering why they aren't so important. Of course it's very easy to take things personally and project onto someone who's fault it isn't, but I think it's understandable when people have been through so much and there is such horrendous inequality.

None of us want her to lose any of her opportunities. We just want everyone to be treated the same and because that will never happen, it should be made more clear and a false image shouldn't be allowed to be painted.

Absolutely spot on and yes I know it’s not her fault she’s rolling in money but what you have just written has resonated with me

 

[Crazymum]

Her mother is as irritating as her now. Is she hoping for a free pair of boots!

 

[GossipBlue]

Was devastated when Kelly died! I had followed her again when I first got diagnosed! I felt like BB had gripped onto Kels story of her treatment being stopped during covid to grasp some of the attention herself! Once Kelly passed away no other mention of her from BB


BOwel Gran has herself too jumped on the insta fame because of it all!

I also followed kickasskell and was also devastated she passed away leaving her little boy. Kelly was a single mum who scraped through day by day with the support of her family. She was “friends” with BB snd I think the podcast presenters went to her funeral. But not once did BB take on the cause of delayed treatment for nhs patients. Don’t think she’s mentioned her since either really. One rule for Debs one for everyone else.

I hope the Board at the Marsden are inundated with complaints about the visits from her mother. If I had a relative in there I would be storming the bloody ward saying if she’s coming in so am I!!! Not fair!

 

[Lucydowl]

Good question?

Maybe when there was radio silence from Deborah they came here for chat?

Either way I said a few pages back this site is like chatting with your friends or colleagues....its a discussion site. We won't always agree with someone...we may also sometimes agree with each other!

Either way we are allowed to have an opinion. On whatever topic you like! Looks, money, ads anything....

Deborah as well as all social media 'stars' are subject to opinions. They are not immune. And they (and their followers) should be intelligent enough to know that there will be those that disagree....and accept that is life. Just in the real world I don't like everyone I encounter.

This labelling people as bully's or trolls is ignorant.

I've cristised Deborah's approach on this site based upon my own view and experinces of Cancer. I'm allowed that. I am neither a bully nor a troll. Tattle is that forum along with Costa coffee last week with a mate.

I can criticise someone and at the same time want the best for them.

This is a discussion forum where all opinions are allowed. If you don't like that then this isn't the forum for you.

Well said. There’s something distasteful about dancing in hospitals and exposing cancer journeys and making money from it when in reality a lot of people are fighting a daily battle in silence with dignity.

 

[Peckhamparasite]

This is what anyone who defends Deborah’s behaviour needs to read, and read again.

The fact that she isn’t using her high profile to call out and condemn the disparity in her treatment compared to most is to her shame. A beautiful young mum called Kelly (kickasskell) died prematurely when her treatment was halted by Covid. Her family are working hard to raise the issues surrounding cancer treatment. Deborah briefly touched on it, but it was a long time ago and before she forgot why she started her account.

And in anticipation of responses that Deborah isn’t obliged to do good, it is my firm belief that people in positions of power and privilege (not just monetary) have a responsibility to help those more vulnerable. Deborah doesn’t give a flying duck about anybody else. I think she’s horrible.

The people on here defending Deborah seem to be very good at pointing out some small criticism of her first before wading in with their v

I also followed kickasskell and was also devastated she passed away leaving her little boy. Kelly was a single mum who scraped through day by day with the support of her family. She was “friends” with BB snd I think the podcast presenters went to her funeral. But not once did BB take on the cause of delayed treatment for nhs patients. Don’t think she’s mentioned her since either really. One rule for Debs one for everyone else.

I hope the Board at the Marsden are inundated with complaints about the visits from her mother. If I had a relative in there I would be storming the bloody ward saying if she’s coming in so am I!!! Not fair!

I wouldn't be surprised if BB isn't already planning how she'll respond to the Marsden situation, money may not be able to cure her cancer but she clearly has a lot of influence and am sure will manage to twist a few arms and cry a few tears (possibly flash a bit more leg) so that she comes out looking like some kind of martyr rather than being the spoilt, privileged and selfish woman she clearly is.

 

[Blonde_moment]

She’s wearing very heavy eye makeup on her latest story. I get that she will feel better with makeup, I know I do. I’m just not sure it would be a priority for me if I had been that unwell in hospital. If I did bother to put any on, it would be a very light coat of mascara, not full on heavy eyeliner like I’m heading out for the night. I wouldn’t want the hassle of removing it all! She’s an attractive woman and doesn’t even need all that heavy makeup.

 

[#previouslygifted]

I do think she’s someone who doesn’t was her last make up off - just piles more on. Like she doesn’t brush her hair much.

 

[Vegasbaby33]

As a teacher What the F**k is she allowing this?? Let all the perverts watch a little girl prance around in Pjs. Sorry but that’s disgusting.( not Eloise who is lovely).


That’s the point! Why not share on here?. It’s out there in the world, sharing on here is the least of her worries. Why don’t people get it. There are really sick people watching and sharing that.

Also, considering Deborah has been at deaths door and had Five operations how does she manage to bend over and throw her head/hair back like that?

Exactly that- she always says, this took it out of me and I've been in bed since, as a w

This is what anyone who defends Deborah’s behaviour needs to read, and read again.

The fact that she isn’t using her high profile to call out and condemn the disparity in her treatment compared to most is to her shame. A beautiful young mum called Kelly (kickasskell) died prematurely when her treatment was halted by Covid. Her family are working hard to raise the issues surrounding cancer treatment. Deborah briefly touched on it, but it was a long time ago and before she forgot why she started her account.

And in anticipation of responses that Deborah isn’t obliged to do good, it is my firm belief that people in positions of power and privilege (not just monetary) have a responsibility to help those more vulnerable. Deborah doesn’t give a flying duck about anybody else. I think she’s horrible.

Absolutely. Couldn't agree mo

Her mother is as irritating as her now. Is she hoping for a free pair of boots!

I reckon BB has got her Mum into Instagram so that when she's in the hospital, her Mum can still post for her/get the engagement she needs for ads etc

 

[maytoseptember]

Realistically I don't think the doctors/nurses there will feel her mental health matters more than that of others. It's probably more a case of 'those who shout the loudest' combined with the fact she has a public platform and they won't have wanted to deal with any fallout. Another unfortunate example of her privilege. For anyone else their upset at the situation would be behind the scenes and therefore easier to cover up.

Sadly I think you’re spot on. If you scream loud enough then the hospital are going to relent for a quiet life (literally). The fact that other patients are too compliant and too dignified to make such a fuss breaks my heart. If one patient deserves to have the rules bent for them, so should the others.