Deborah James - bowelbabe

[CakesRFab]

but it’s not always a true representation and I think people are allowed to say that.

It's her journey. She isn't saying it's anyone elses. No two peoples are the same.

I know people with stage 4 terminal who were doing triathalons are you going to say they aren't 'true representation' as they don't fit into a box?

It's her cancer journey and she does show the hard stuff along with the fluffy.

 

[Ellyjelly]

It's her journey. She isn't saying it's anyone elses. No two peoples are the same.

I know people with stage 4 terminal who were doing triathalons are you going to say they aren't 'true representation' as they don't fit into a box?

It's her cancer journey and she does show the hard stuff along with the fluffy.

No of course not, however I am saying if Deborah chooses to become an influencer, then having cancer does not make her somehow above having people comment on her content, that’s the point I was answering., somebody saying this thread should be shut down as it crossed a line. I don’t think it does, there’s nothing horrible on here, I think we all admire her for spreading awareness.

 

[#previouslygifted]

I think she did raise awareness but haven’t seen that so much recently.

 

[Panacotta]

I'm glad there's a thread as a couple of things haven't say right with me about her account.
I think the first thing is that her view of tackling cancer is so unrelatable that I'd argue it now does more harm than good. She hasn't had to worry about meeting the mortgage payments or paying for childcare during treatment. I appreciate she's making the best of her situation, as she's entitled to, but her public persona just cannot reflect the very real pressures that most people in the UK will have to contend with. Privately, do whatever the hell you want and good luck to you. But don't put it out publicly under the pretext it's for public benefit.

Secondly, it has previously really grated with me when she's spoken about how it's unfair she got bowel cancer as she was a vegetarian, active, slim. I hate the rhetoric that any illness is in some way your 'fault' and she feeds into this. Everyone is entitled to care and respect regardless of their body shape or lifestyle.

 

[Poppy30]

I'm glad there's a thread as a couple of things haven't say right with me about her account.
I think the first thing is that her view of tackling cancer is so unrelatable that I'd argue it now does more harm than good. She hasn't had to worry about meeting the mortgage payments or paying for childcare during treatment. I appreciate she's making the best of her situation, as she's entitled to, but her public persona just cannot reflect the very real pressures that most people in the UK will have to contend with. Privately, do whatever the hell you want and good luck to you. But don't put it out publicly under the pretext it's for public benefit.

Secondly, it has previously really grated with me when she's spoken about how it's unfair she got bowel cancer as she was a vegetarian, active, slim. I hate the rhetoric that any illness is in some way your 'fault' and she feeds into this. Everyone is entitled to care and respect regardless of their body shape or lifestyle.

This is spot on

 

[Girlinabubble]

I'm glad there's a thread as a couple of things haven't say right with me about her account.
I think the first thing is that her view of tackling cancer is so unrelatable that I'd argue it now does more harm than good. She hasn't had to worry about meeting the mortgage payments or paying for childcare during treatment. I appreciate she's making the best of her situation, as she's entitled to, but her public persona just cannot reflect the very real pressures that most people in the UK will have to contend with. Privately, do whatever the hell you want and good luck to you. But don't put it out publicly under the pretext it's for public benefit.

Secondly, it has previously really grated with me when she's spoken about how it's unfair she got bowel cancer as she was a vegetarian, active, slim. I hate the rhetoric that any illness is in some way your 'fault' and she feeds into this. Everyone is entitled to care and respect regardless of their body shape or lifestyle.

I think that it’s only natural to feel that life is unfair when faced with a premature death, leaving young children, knowing that you’ll never know how that story turns out and seeing obese smokers living a long life. I absolutely agree that people should have care and respect and it’s not being judgemental but it’s understandable to compare and feel it’s unfair.

 

[Bgr101]

He a banker, they are very wealthy. I do admire her in lots of ways, it’s just the whole ‘cancer as a career ‘ I find a bit odd and maybe hard for others really struggling. I find it really off putting. I loved Rachel Bland but find Deborah hard to take.

This explains a lot then. I even less so understand the constant ads in that case if she doesnt need the money.

 

[OliviaL]

And the constant preening and posing. It’s just too much.

 

[petitspois]

I couldn't sleep last night and, after reading tattle, googled her out of interest. There's a Daily Mail interview where she says her and her husband split up for a year prior to her diagnosis and that her kids 'hardly saw her' when she was working.

 

[Bergamot]

This explains a lot then. I even less so understand the constant ads in that case if she doesn't need the money.

I think it's down to narcissism. The constant attention-seeking. The endless 'me, me, ME'. She wants to be popular and admired. I used to feel very sympathetic towards Deborah and admire her campaigning. She's a good writer as her columns in the Sun Online show. But now I think it's attention-seeking and vanity that seems to be driving it. I also am starting to feel a bit... what's the word, maybe conned? I became really concerned for her during her recent hospitalisation when she seemed to be at death's door and was praying for her recovery. That same day she was off to Wimbledon! Seemed to be a miraculous recovery but it does make me wonder if she was really as ill as she made out to be or whether she exaggerates to gain attention. She loves to show off and regards herself as a celebrity now. The cancer as a career is indeed an odd thing, but I think it's feeding her narcissism first and foremost rather than being about raising awareness. On the positive side she is creating some wonderful memories for her children. I just wish she wasn't doing it with an eye on how many clicks it generates.

 

[Bgr101]

I think it's down to narcissism. The constant attention-seeking. The endless 'me, me, ME'. She wants to be popular and admired. I used to feel very sympathetic towards Deborah and admire her campaigning. She's a good writer as her columns in the Sun Online show. But now I think it's attention-seeking and vanity that seems to be driving it. I also am starting to feel a bit... what's the word, maybe conned? I became really concerned for her during her recent hospitalisation when she seemed to be at death's door and was praying for her recovery. That same day she was off to Wimbledon! Seemed to be a miraculous recovery but it does make me wonder if she was really as ill as she made out to be or whether she exaggerates to gain attention. She loves to show off and regards herself as a celebrity now. The cancer as a career is indeed an odd thing, but I think it's feeding her narcissism first and foremost rather than being about raising awareness. On the positive side she is creating some wonderful memories for her children. I just wish she wasn't doing it with an eye on how many clicks it generates.

Yea. She must have some resolve. She never seems to rest.

 

[GossipBlue]

I think it's down to narcissism. The constant attention-seeking. The endless 'me, me, ME'. She wants to be popular and admired. I used to feel very sympathetic towards Deborah and admire her campaigning. She's a good writer as her columns in the Sun Online show. But now I think it's attention-seeking and vanity that seems to be driving it. I also am starting to feel a bit... what's the word, maybe conned? I became really concerned for her during her recent hospitalisation when she seemed to be at death's door and was praying for her recovery. That same day she was off to Wimbledon! Seemed to be a miraculous recovery but it does make me wonder if she was really as ill as she made out to be or whether she exaggerates to gain attention. She loves to show off and regards herself as a celebrity now. The cancer as a career is indeed an odd thing, but I think it's feeding her narcissism first and foremost rather than being about raising awareness. On the positive side she is creating some wonderful memories for her children. I just wish she wasn't doing it with an eye on how many clicks it generates.

Totally agree!! Started to follow her after I was diagnosed few years ago (not bowel cancer). At first I was amazed at her positive and energetic mindset through cancer treatment. I followed the podcast she did with Rachel Blandy, who was amazing! Following Rachel’s death I got the feeling that Deborah took reins and really struck out on her own. The gifts, ads really didn’t sit right for me. I do salute her efforts on raising awareness but I felt this was a secondary goal after raising her own profile. The constant dancing, posing, pouting and general narcissistic behaviour started to wind me up. Then the “I’ve had a major op but just run 5k” posts really bugged me. I think a lot of cancer patients who followed her would not be able to understand how she did this. I completely understand that some cancer patients use exercise and doing as much as they can in order to live as much as they can in the time they have left but they are also not advertising for companies like sweaty Betty etc. If she has little time left spend it with your kids and hubby not on your phone. As for the Wimbledon trips (I think she was there three times in one week) well personally I thought it was sickening. There are thousands of women struggling with cancer who could never afford a Wimbledon ticket so why not give it to them instead. I think one of her visits was with Ralph Lauren so she was dressed head to toe in RL.

 

[Bgr101]

Totally agree!! Started to follow her after I was diagnosed few years ago (not bowel cancer). At first I was amazed at her positive and energetic mindset through cancer treatment. I followed the podcast she did with Rachel Blandy, who was amazing! Following Rachel’s death I got the feeling that Deborah took reins and really struck out on her own. The gifts, ads really didn’t sit right for me. I do salute her efforts on raising awareness but I felt this was a secondary goal after raising her own profile. The constant dancing, posing, pouting and general narcissistic behaviour started to wind me up. Then the “I’ve had a major op but just run 5k” posts really bugged me. I think a lot of cancer patients who followed her would not be able to understand how she did this. I completely understand that some cancer patients use exercise and doing as much as they can in order to live as much as they can in the time they have left but they are also not advertising for companies like sweaty Betty etc. If she has little time left spend it with your kids and hubby not on your phone. As for the Wimbledon trips (I think she was there three times in one week) well personally I thought it was sickening. There are thousands of women struggling with cancer who could never afford a Wimbledon ticket so why not give it to them instead. I think one of her visits was with Ralph Lauren so she was dressed head to toe in RL.

I totally get she wants to make the most of every minute but sweaty betty and emma mattresses are so irrelevant for anyone coming to terms with terminal cancer. She should enjoy her life privately for as long as possible.

 

[Love2lurk]

It's her journey. She isn't saying it's anyone elses. No two peoples are the same.

I know people with stage 4 terminal who were doing triathalons are you going to say they aren't 'true representation' as they don't fit into a box?

It's her cancer journey and she does show the hard stuff along with the fluffy.

Exactly this! You are spot on.

Some people are floored by treatment and some tolerate it really well and manage to live a fairly normal life... some can even work through it and choose to do so for the normality aspect.

 

[90sGal]

Ive followed Deborah for a little while and and hats off to her for the awareness she is raising and the drive she has to live life to the fullest.

Social media is fantatsic for getting reach where other mediums don't work. Though I always think there is a fine line. And here I think the line isn't defined.

What I mean is Debeorah has gained the number of followers as a result of her Cancer (and I stress again the good work she does to raise awareness....and also for others looking for comfort and hope during their own illness)

As an aside to that with the number of followers she has she will naturally get organisations wanting to use this to advertise their own products. It's the new way of doing things isn't it ? which is why influencers is a 'thing'.

I guess it's being clear on what you are an influencer for. And it can change. Just making sure you are taking your audience along with you.

The Emma mattress ad I just didn't get. And was clear to me that Emma were interested in the number of followers hence the collab.

Sweaty Betty is an odd choice. Though I get the sentiment about loving your body. But that to me felt like it was something made to fit. Sort of shoe horned in. Sweaty Betty with give you some clothes...in return can you advertise our product and then lots of thinking about how that fits. So didn't feel 100% genuine. I am sure Deborah would wear SB clothes anyway so it's a bonus for her. But that's where the line is blurred...in the purpose of her platform?

I also am very mindful of her lifestyle. This is not typical and she is very privileged. I am sure she knows that. But again using IG to share life and cancer treatment and advertising products feels a little jumbled for me. As in the purpose isn't clear. It also highlights how those with lots get more. The clothes, the trips to Wimbledon. Lovely. I would love it! However she could afford that lifestyle anyway. Why not donate it. Or rasie money for cancer charities by auctioning them off? She went to Wimbledon several times not just once. Once is a beautiful gift. A few times is a bit too much.

I worry for those going through something similar to her and feeling their life should be the same. It's the inequality of life I know. But social media at the best of times can make you feel envious...but at a time when someone is physically and emotionally battling cancer they could do with a platform that they can relate to. As in struggling to pay the bills, look after children, postcode lottery of medication, not being able to want or afford new clothes etc.

Sorry long post here....just I think there is some positive here but worry about the lack of ability of people to relate that can do more damage than good x

 

[Bgr101]

Ive followed Deborah for a little while and and hats off to her for the awareness she is raising and the drive she has to live life to the fullest.

Social media is fantatsic for getting reach where other mediums don't work. Though I always think there is a fine line. And here I think the line isn't defined.

What I mean is Debeorah has gained the number of followers as a result of her Cancer (and I stress again the good work she does to raise awareness....and also for others looking for comfort and hope during their own illness)

As an aside to that with the number of followers she has she will naturally get organisations wanting to use this to advertise their own products. It's the new way of doing things isn't it ? which is why influencers is a 'thing'.

I guess it's being clear on what you and influencer for. The Emma mattress ad I just didn't get. And was clear to me that Emma were interested in the number of followers hence the collab.

Sweaty Betty is an odd choice. Though I get the sentiment about loving your body. But that to me felt like it was something made to fit. Sort of shoe horned in. Sweaty Betty with give you some clothes...in return can you advertise our product and then lots of thinking about how that fits. So didn't feel 100% genuine. I am sure Deborah would wear SB clothes anyway so it's a bonus for her. But that's where the line is blurred...in the purpose of her platform?

I also am very mindful of her lifestyle. This is not typical and she is very privileged. I am sure she knows that. But again using IG to share life and cancer treatment and advertising products feels a little jumbled for me. As in the purpose isn't clear. It also highlights how those with lots get more. The clothes, the trips to Wimbledon. Lovely. I would love it! However she could afford that lifestyle anyway. Why not donate it. Or rasie money for cancer charities by auctioning them off? She went to Wimbledon several times not just once. Once is a beautiful gift. A few times is a bit too much.

I worry for those going through something similar to her and feeling their life should be the same. It's the inequality of life I know. But social media at the best of times can make you feel envious...but at a time when someone is physically and emotionally battling cancer they could do with a platform that they can relate to. As in struggling to pay the bills, look after children, postcode lottery of medication, not being able to want or afford new clothes etc.

Sorry long post here....just I think there is some positive here but worry about the lack of ability of people to relate that can do more damage than good x

I agree. Alot of people in her position maybe dont realise her wealth and her privilige and are wondering why life cant be like this for them. She could maybe ren that side of things in if she wants to be relatble

 

[petitspois]

I think her column is well written and I welcomed her stance for cancer patients not to be overlooked in the face of COVID but her posts are way over the top for me.

The wealth, the family support, the holidays, the rich husband, wimbeldon and so on. Let's be honest, take the cancer away and she would be insufferable.

It could be said that she's showing you can live with cancer but that's clearly not true for a lot of people. I should imagine there are lots of followers in her boat, lying in bed at home, wishing they could have 'one last holiday' with their family.

 

[Peekaboo1234]

Where is the wealth from?

 

[GossipBlue]

Where is the wealth from?

Hubby is a city banker/insurance I think.

Ive followed Deborah for a little while and and hats off to her for the awareness she is raising and the drive she has to live life to the fullest.

Social media is fantatsic for getting reach where other mediums don't work. Though I always think there is a fine line. And here I think the line isn't defined.

What I mean is Debeorah has gained the number of followers as a result of her Cancer (and I stress again the good work she does to raise awareness....and also for others looking for comfort and hope during their own illness)

As an aside to that with the number of followers she has she will naturally get organisations wanting to use this to advertise their own products. It's the new way of doing things isn't it ? which is why influencers is a 'thing'.

I guess it's being clear on what you are an influencer for. And it can change. Just making sure you are taking your audience along with you.

The Emma mattress ad I just didn't get. And was clear to me that Emma were interested in the number of followers hence the collab.

Sweaty Betty is an odd choice. Though I get the sentiment about loving your body. But that to me felt like it was something made to fit. Sort of shoe horned in. Sweaty Betty with give you some clothes...in return can you advertise our product and then lots of thinking about how that fits. So didn't feel 100% genuine. I am sure Deborah would wear SB clothes anyway so it's a bonus for her. But that's where the line is blurred...in the purpose of her platform?

I also am very mindful of her lifestyle. This is not typical and she is very privileged. I am sure she knows that. But again using IG to share life and cancer treatment and advertising products feels a little jumbled for me. As in the purpose isn't clear. It also highlights how those with lots get more. The clothes, the trips to Wimbledon. Lovely. I would love it! However she could afford that lifestyle anyway. Why not donate it. Or rasie money for cancer charities by auctioning them off? She went to Wimbledon several times not just once. Once is a beautiful gift. A few times is a bit too much.

I worry for those going through something similar to her and feeling their life should be the same. It's the inequality of life I know. But social media at the best of times can make you feel envious...but at a time when someone is physically and emotionally battling cancer they could do with a platform that they can relate to. As in struggling to pay the bills, look after children, postcode lottery of medication, not being able to want or afford new clothes etc.

Sorry long post here....just I think there is some positive here but worry about the lack of ability of people to relate that can do more damage than good x

Totally agree. I do think over the last 12 months or so she has lost her way slightly with her account. The ads just don’t sit right. It is the amount of ads too that really put me off. It’s seems lately she is nothing but ads thrown in with the odd glass of champagne.

I think she has certainly raised awareness but I do feel this was her secondary goal after raising her own personal profile. Just my view obviously.

The running 5k after “a major op” is also annoying. And please don’t jump on and say some people do this as their way of coping. There is no way Anyone could run 5k after a major op. Just don’t believe it.

 

[Cariad]

Hubby is a city banker/insurance I think.


Totally agree. I do think over the last 12 months or so she has lost her way slightly with her account. The ads just don’t sit right. It is the amount of ads too that really put me off. It’s seems lately she is nothing but ads thrown in with the odd glass of champagne.

I think she has certainly raised awareness but I do feel this was her secondary goal after raising her own personal profile. Just my view obviously.

The running 5k after “a major op” is also annoying. And please don’t jump on and say some people do this as their way of coping. There is no way Anyone could run 5k after a major op. Just don’t believe it.

I have had a few conversations with Deborah over the years as my brother had metastatic bowel cancer and we discussed her treatments - there's no way my brother would have been able to jog/run to get his treatments
sadly my brother died 2 years ago and didn't have access to the numerous treatment options/ access to clinical trials she has been able to get due to living near the Marsden...unfortunately it's not a level playing field when it comes to cancer and is very much postcode lottery