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Just for the Hell of it;
I once dated someone who tried using a bottle of alcohol as a sex toy.
I once dated someone who tried using a bottle of alcohol as a sex toy.
Dear god... a guy asked me to use a hairbrush once, safe to say he went in the bin.
Handle first, I hope...
On you or himself?!
Oh, on me...On you or herself?!
Well i did wonder
Haha same.a vodka bottle...another time was my parents "Virgin" hahahhaa remote.2 different men lol
When in doubt,a cucumber...
Lost my virginity to the local wannabe stable stud! This fella waa good looking, drove a car at 17, was riding horses and generally loved himself.. so he had the pick of the girls it seemed at the yard, I was coming of age, and was clearly
Catching his eye… he asked me out.. I’m delighted and can’t belive my luck.. but am very bloody naive , this Toad, picks me up.. and basically takes
Me home to his..
we go to his bedroom.. few kisses quickly turn into him stripping off at the same time..
My brain.. OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING!! Im
About to become a women!!
next thing he’s naked.. reaching for
His supply of rubbers!! Small
Mercy’s..
He’s now trying to tank. His tiny pen into life to fit into this Jonny.. whilst APOLOGISING for how small it is..
I’m mortified and have no idea what to say, as he sits and furiously works this poor choad into action..
he then climbs on top, pumps around me, no idea if he enters me.. I genuinely didn’t feel anything , possibly he fingered me.. was unpleasant and felt more like a probe..
It somehow ended… and I was brought home..
I could barely look at him again.. horrified he was the owner of a small child’s pen…
Looking back, he was clearly a Roid user and had given himself a bleeping maggot in exchange for biceps ..
I didn’t attempt sex again for 2 years….
Catching his eye… he asked me out.. I’m delighted and can’t belive my luck.. but am very bloody naive , this Toad, picks me up.. and basically takes
Me home to his..
we go to his bedroom.. few kisses quickly turn into him stripping off at the same time..
My brain.. OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING!! Im
About to become a women!!
next thing he’s naked.. reaching for
His supply of rubbers!! Small
Mercy’s..
He’s now trying to tank. His tiny pen into life to fit into this Jonny.. whilst APOLOGISING for how small it is..
I’m mortified and have no idea what to say, as he sits and furiously works this poor choad into action..
he then climbs on top, pumps around me, no idea if he enters me.. I genuinely didn’t feel anything , possibly he fingered me.. was unpleasant and felt more like a probe..
It somehow ended… and I was brought home..
I could barely look at him again.. horrified he was the owner of a small child’s pen…
Looking back, he was clearly a Roid user and had given himself a bleeping maggot in exchange for biceps ..
I didn’t attempt sex again for 2 years….
Shaming someone for their pen size. You're cool...Lost my virginity to the local wannabe stable stud! This fella waa good looking, drove a car at 17, was riding horses and generally loved himself.. so he had the pick of the girls it seemed at the yard, I was coming of age, and was clearly
Catching his eye… he asked me out.. I’m delighted and can’t belive my luck.. but am very bloody naive , this Toad, picks me up.. and basically takes
Me home to his..
we go to his bedroom.. few kisses quickly turn into him stripping off at the same time..
My brain.. OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING!! Im
About to become a women!!
next thing he’s naked.. reaching for
His supply of rubbers!! Small
Mercy’s..
He’s now trying to tank. His tiny pen into life to fit into this Jonny.. whilst APOLOGISING for how small it is..
I’m mortified and have no idea what to say, as he sits and furiously works this poor choad into action..
he then climbs on top, pumps around me, no idea if he enters me.. I genuinely didn’t feel anything , possibly he fingered me.. was unpleasant and felt more like a probe..
It somehow ended… and I was brought home..
I could barely look at him again.. horrified he was the owner of a small child’s pen…
Looking back, he was clearly a Roid user and had given himself a bleeping maggot in exchange for biceps ..
I didn’t attempt sex again for 2 years….
Stable stud is that you?
If someone is strutting around as the king of the world, as this young man was, but then when it comes down to the action he falls apart because he can't perform and then left the young woman in question traumatised and conflicted about whether she was to blame or if he was just a wanker who hadn't yet realised there is more to sex than just trying to shove something inside her, then yeah. It was a fun story that was shared.
Sheesh.
Criticise him for how good/bad he is at sex that's fine but he literally has no control over his pen size.
*laughs*
Its when a guy makes it out he will be amazing in bed and its pump, pump and then squirt...
"It's not the size of your cannon, it's the power of your shot" - Julius Caesar (possibly)
I feel we need to balance things out so I dated someone once and it was like throwing a TicTac down a well...