Dating in Lockdown #2 The audacity of men

[Millyve]

Cheshire
Full time job. Two cars/Savings in the bank and O previous owners He is amazing and only wants a decent girl to settle down with but has no luck.

Would he do long distance, sounds ideal.

 

[sleepflowers]

Hello, my first post on this thread - it was fun reading all of your posts and to also know I am not alone in my terrible online dating experience!
I have a question - do any of you find it really hard to form a connection with someone from dating apps, like Tinder?
Over the years I have had several 1st/2nd and 3rd dates with people from Tinder, but each time I always lack "the spark" or whatever, that would make me want to continue seeing them. I have tried to stop bailing on people after the first date, but if I am not feeling excited when they message me, or I am not feeling excited about seeing them again, I just don't see the point of it
My past relationships have always been with someone I knew/knew of, so it wasn't a complete stranger.
I don't know whether maybe I haven't been on the "right" Tinder date, or whether maybe I'm only capable of forming connections with people I know, at least a little bit (for example, friend of a friend of a friend...).
Anyone feeling the same?

Yeah I was the same...inevitably I would end up talking to the ones that didn't really excite me, then possibly meeting, and the ones I was actually excited about just faded away without meeting Sod's law!
I never feel that connection which then leads to me not caring about replying...my apathy is already at a low level due to the state of men in general, so that doesn't help! I feel like a lot of the men on there are interesting IRL, but they flatten their personalities (as we all do to some extent) so it doesn't come across well on their apps.

 

[yankydoo]

Hello, my first post on this thread - it was fun reading all of your posts and to also know I am not alone in my terrible online dating experience!
I have a question - do any of you find it really hard to form a connection with someone from dating apps, like Tinder?
Over the years I have had several 1st/2nd and 3rd dates with people from Tinder, but each time I always lack "the spark" or whatever, that would make me want to continue seeing them. I have tried to stop bailing on people after the first date, but if I am not feeling excited when they message me, or I am not feeling excited about seeing them again, I just don't see the point of it
My past relationships have always been with someone I knew/knew of, so it wasn't a complete stranger.
I don't know whether maybe I haven't been on the "right" Tinder date, or whether maybe I'm only capable of forming connections with people I know, at least a little bit (for example, friend of a friend of a friend...).
Anyone feeling the same?

Yep! As time goes on I get less and less interested and find it hard to form a connection. Actually, looking back there has been one guy who I felt I had a connection with and his type is rare for me (we shared the same ethnic background and a very specific way of growing up). It was a massive bummer when he did the typical "I'm not ready for anything serious thing."

Now I just don't care enough. I do try and make an effort though as I am confident it will happen for me (whether via an app or real life) but if it all goes wrong, the guy ghosts me, it fizzles out or whatever I don't care at all.

Also the last two serious relationships I had, I did not expect to happen at all. The men weren't my type at all on paper but somehow I fell head over heels for both. So again, that's why I like to keep an open mind. I did meet them both outside of the apps which I do think makes a big difference.

 

[alwayslurkin]

I have dipped in and out of apps, and been on dates but there is only this one guy I'm talking to now that I actually have been truly excited to meet as I feel a connection

But we've not met yet and it is very early, so my cynical mind is telling me it may not last

Dating can be fun though so I don't see it as time wasted

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I’ll have to fight you for him if he’s over 6 foot!

He’s 5ft 8!

 

[D_Wills]

I really really struggle to pluck up the courage to go on that first date. I need your help guys! I feel like I've been a bit of a prick tease over the last year since being single. I've had a decent connection with a few guys, chat for weeks but then the thought of meeting up with them makes me feel SO nervous and I close up and then potentially lose something that could have been good. Honestly, I was seeing a guy for a few months last year and it genuinely took me about 4 months before we met
Someone I was talking to for a long time last year and who I had a real good connection with, to the point we were sexting (but then I chickened out and he understandably backed off), messaged me at the weekend and I felt like it was meant to be after having a crappy time with another guy, I was straight away up for meeting and he was like "I'm not gonna let you get away this time lol" but already I am freaking out!! He wanted to meet up this afternoon and I've given excuses and bottled it. I envy how you girls casually go on dates. I am so socially awkward and hate being 1 on 1 with people. How do you do it!

 

[justapossum]

@D_Wills have you tried FaceTime “date” before hand? It might make you feel more comfortable seeing them on camera and a bit of their body language or the way they speak (it’s helped me before).
Maybe plan a date you’re comfortable with? So nothing out of your comfort zone, and nothing too intense. Maybe a walk, or just one drink in a local pub.
Also, this might help but maybe take a pressure off and don’t call it a date straight away, just like a friendly drink/walk and getting to know each other without any pressure.
Another thing, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the idea of a first date, plan something casual and short to start with to ease you into it

 

[princess279]

He’s 5ft 8!

I'm 5ft 3, I'll take him!

 

[D_Wills]

@D_Wills have you tried FaceTime “date” before hand? It might make you feel more comfortable seeing them on camera and a bit of their body language or the way they speak (it’s helped me before).
Maybe plan a date you’re comfortable with? So nothing out of your comfort zone, and nothing too intense. Maybe a walk, or just one drink in a local pub.
Also, this might help but maybe take a pressure off and don’t call it a date straight away, just like a friendly drink/walk and getting to know each other without any pressure.
Another thing, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the idea of a first date, plan something casual and short to start with to ease you into it

Oh god a facetime makes me feel even worse! I honestly just need to relax

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Would he do long distance, sounds ideal.

Probably. I’m three hours away from him but he’s happy to drive up

Oh god a facetime makes me feel even worse! I honestly just need to relax

Just make arrangements and then it’s a bit easier to go. If you never set a date it never happens and one gives up.
I was scared to meet a lad but it felt like I had known him forever. Lockdown paused it but I’m seeing him Friday.

 

[123qwe1]

Wow so nice to find this thread! Went on my first hinge date this year after a break up last summer. I really liked the guy and thought it went well... never heard from him again feeling better now but self esteem was crushed

 

[Thank(space)you]

Well I went on a lunch date. Very attractive but the spark wasn't there. He reminds me personality wise of Russell brand, which is not my type at all. That kinda wanky self importance, loves the sound of his own voice

 

[freaknasty]

I am here to announce that I have just received a message on Hinge from Dean Gaffney catch me showing off my wedding in OK magazine soon ladies

 

[Woolmercardington]

@D_Wills Sounds like you might be chatting far too long before meeting and building things up too much in your head. The quicker you meet them the better. I know we've not really been able to, so that not your fault, but I'd try not to place too much stock in messaging. It's easy to feel we make a connection when texting, but it really is just words on a screen.

Also, remember you are evaluating these men to see if they are suitable for YOU, so try not to fret

 

[yankydoo]

I am here to announce that I have just received a message on Hinge from Dean Gaffney catch me showing off my wedding in OK magazine soon ladies

Omg I'm so jealous! I've swiped right on him on Bumble and liked him on Hinge but he ignored me both times hahaha.

ETA that I'm not actually jealous. So funny though. Let us know how you get on

 

[misscl4]

Omg I'm so jealous! I've swiped right on him on Bumble and liked him on Hinge but he ignored me both times hahaha.

ETA that I'm not actually jealous. So funny though. Let us know how you get on

Take it you didn’t watch him on Celebs Go Dating?

 

[Lucyloulucy]

Take it you didn’t watch him on Celebs Go Dating?

That was my exact thought!!!!!!

 

[freaknasty]

Take it you didn’t watch him on Celebs Go Dating?

I also haven’t watched him on Celebs Go Dating, perhaps I should before I respond to him he has his promo picture for it on his profile.

 

[sleepflowers]

I really really struggle to pluck up the courage to go on that first date. I need your help guys! I feel like I've been a bit of a prick tease over the last year since being single. I've had a decent connection with a few guys, chat for weeks but then the thought of meeting up with them makes me feel SO nervous and I close up and then potentially lose something that could have been good. Honestly, I was seeing a guy for a few months last year and it genuinely took me about 4 months before we met
Someone I was talking to for a long time last year and who I had a real good connection with, to the point we were sexting (but then I chickened out and he understandably backed off), messaged me at the weekend and I felt like it was meant to be after having a crappy time with another guy, I was straight away up for meeting and he was like "I'm not gonna let you get away this time lol" but already I am freaking out!! He wanted to meet up this afternoon and I've given excuses and bottled it. I envy how you girls casually go on dates. I am so socially awkward and hate being 1 on 1 with people. How do you do it!

You're all being way too relatable today!! I've done this a few times, if I even get to the date part before they lose interest that is!! I'm so anxious about relationships in general and feel undesirable through my lack of experience that I'd definitely prefer a guy to express his interest properly, make proper date plans for us so I know he has genuine interest rather than all this casual 'let's hang out, I might like you, but I'm too cool to show it' that they all do now.
I'm usually fine once I get into a face to face conversation but the build up destroys me omg. The last guy I met ages and ages ago ghosted me after the first date, I think me talking about my interests scared him off somehow I just get passionate about things!!

 

[LaurieLaurie]

This thread is giving me anxiety that I’m gonna be ghosted on Friday but I’ve known him a long time and there’s no reason he would really