When people use "could of" instead of "could have" etc. Bugs me
Dating in Lockdown #2 The audacity of men
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I even had a typo in my last comment (but fixed now)
Update. so my roster had 18 guys (which is actually mental texting from me tbf) from apps. Guys where we’ve moved from tinder to text. I’ve blocked 13 for various reasons including if they didn’t text back after I text and I unfollowed them on Instagram they’ve realised and unfollowed me. Or Some like “wonna have cuddle” man, have told me what they’re looking for and it’s not my vibe etc.
3 I stopped talking to as they got a bit too keen for my liking and I cancelled meeting them or had other bits going on.
1 the one 49 year old who blocked me
Who’s probably married (see previous posts lol)
2 who haven’t been blocked yet and it’s the I’m “sick” and a guy who I matched with him and his brother (that’s a whole day story lol) but I prefer him.
I gained 23 followers (lmao) but I didn’t talk to a lot more both on tinder ( even the I’ll give you 2-3 kids man didn’t get further than that) or by texts and went on 0 dates this month and I’m exhausted
so I wrote and calculated all this because apparently dating is a numbers game.. Anyway I don’t think it is, my thoughts now are may is fast approaching soon and I think I’m just going to do the reverse of lockdown and party/ bar/ drink/ brunch/picnic every weekend and try and keep myself busy outside instead.
3 I stopped talking to as they got a bit too keen for my liking and I cancelled meeting them or had other bits going on.
1 the one 49 year old who blocked me
Who’s probably married (see previous posts lol)2 who haven’t been blocked yet and it’s the I’m “sick” and a guy who I matched with him and his brother (that’s a whole day story lol) but I prefer him.
I gained 23 followers (lmao) but I didn’t talk to a lot more both on tinder ( even the I’ll give you 2-3 kids man didn’t get further than that) or by texts and went on 0 dates this month and I’m exhausted
so I wrote and calculated all this because apparently dating is a numbers game.. Anyway I don’t think it is, my thoughts now are may is fast approaching soon and I think I’m just going to do the reverse of lockdown and party/ bar/ drink/ brunch/picnic every weekend and try and keep myself busy outside instead.
It's crap isn't it how you can be talking to so many men but nothing materialises?! I like your idea of a reverse lockdown (can I join you lol). Go out, have fun, and you never know what will happenUpdate. so my roster had 18 guys (which is actually mental texting from me tbf) from apps. Guys where we’ve moved from tinder to text. I’ve blocked 13 for various reasons including if they didn’t text back after I text and I unfollowed them on Instagram they’ve realised and unfollowed me. Or Some like “wonna have cuddle” man, have told me what they’re looking for and it’s not my vibe etc.
3 I stopped talking to as they got a bit too keen for my liking and I cancelled meeting them or had other bits going on.
1 the one 49 year old who blocked me
2 who haven’t been blocked yet and it’s the I’m “sick” and a guy who I matched with him and his brother (that’s a whole day story lol) but I prefer him.
I gained 23 followers (lmao) but I didn’t talk to a lot more both on tinder ( even the I’ll give you 2-3 kids man didn’t get further than that) or by texts and went on 0 dates this month and I’m exhausted
so I wrote and calculated all this because apparently dating is a numbers game.. Anyway I don’t think it is, my thoughts now are may is fast approaching soon and I think I’m just going to do the reverse of lockdown and party/ bar/ drink/ brunch/picnic every weekend and try and keep myself busy outside instead.
Yeah I’m trying to not get too disheartened by this but it’s a really crappy feeling!It's crap isn't it how you can be talking to so many men but nothing materialises?! I like your idea of a reverse lockdown (can I join you lol). Go out, have fun, and you never know what will happen
In an odd way it’s an ego boost that they were “initially interested to swipe” but it’s not treally because absolutely nothing materialised.
I don’t really plan to go back on tinder now either because the guy I spoke about in my first post when I made the last thread. I came across on there and I felt proper horrid.
We met on bumble in 2019 also interesting the girl I thought he ditched me for because he was liking her pictures and went to where she which was very very specific place tbf and she blocked me on Instagram
. Anyway she Recently posted about her own boyfriend and moved in with him and it wasn’t this guy so I’ll never know what happened there. 
Unfortunately I also think a lot of men just want to get their legs over!
And of course you join me (especially if you’re near London haha)
On a positive note, have you seen there’s the Real Housewives All Stars? That’s not for this forum thoughYeah I’m trying to not get too disheartened by this but it’s a really crappy feeling!
In an odd way it’s an ego boost that they were “initially interested to swipe” but it’s not treally because absolutely nothing materialised.
I don’t really plan to go back on tinder now either because the guy I spoke about in my first post when I made the last thread. I came across on there and I felt proper horrid.
We met on bumble in 2019 also interesting the girl I thought he ditched me for because he was liking her pictures and went to where she which was very very specific place tbf and she blocked me on Instagram
Unfortunately I also think a lot of men just want to get their legs over!
And of course you join me (especially if you’re near London haha)
Hey all! So I’m a guy! I’ve been watching this thread for a little bit and all the fun and games you’ve had with dating and dating apps. I probably sound like a complete wet blanket but this is my experience of dating apps so far, they were pretty new to me a couple of years ago after I’d got out of a long term relationship and have been a very interesting ride over that 2 years or so. I’m currently back on them at the moment.
I recently got out of a relationship with someone I’d met through Tinder, it started out all guns blazing around this time last year, there was a long distance element to it but it got into a good routine, there were a few alarm bells that I was so blinded by this guy I ignored them alarm bells, it was a love at first sight scenario (not just on my part according to him but who knows). Long story short we didn’t make it through lockdown for various reasons my mental health took a battering and I was diagnosed with depression, but that’s something I’ve long had but never sought help with but it just got to a point in lockdown where I had no other option but to seek help. Anyway cut to the end I shouldered the blame for the end of the relationship, i did something so daft and minuscule but it got dragged out over 3 weeks so he could decide and in the end he did it via voice note. Told me he loved me but needed to be single for a while but profile was updated and back on Tinder the next day, total duck boy, I think he wanted a relationship but wanted to keep a single kind of life, and all for a few likes on Instagram, he was forever adding random guys, that i’ve since spotted on Tinder when I was swiping. I waited a couple of weeks (which is still probably too soon but i needed some entertainment) but I’ve gone back into the murky world of Tinder (joy of joys) the usual fun and games you all describe, I spend the majority of my time swiping left, or thinking why the duck would you put that photo on or if they’re the same age as me then duck I’ve got good genres or they’ve had a truly hard life, there are some absolute hilarious profiles. It’s a good session for making you feel better about yourself.
So anyway I went in with having no expectations, I dip in and out, anyway I chatted with people, had a few dead conversations. I’ve recently been on a couple of dates with a guy who seems to be lovely! Complete opposite of the guy I was in a relationship and whilst it’s early days, things are progressing at a more respectable speed, but where I’m a bit lost is he hasn’t blown me away like the duck boy above, i appreciate that was probably not a natural situation, and I think he’s definitely more genuine from the time I’ve spent with him, but I’m just like I don’t know how I feel, part of me wants to keep going and see, but part of me is like I don’t know, but maybe it’s just because I’ve had my fingers burnt and a bit wary, and also a bit like I genuinely can’t swipe any more, I think I ran out of people to swipe left on at one point, and all the conversations have been dull as, so I guess I’m potentially running the risk of settling but my mind is a bit frazzled.
I recently got out of a relationship with someone I’d met through Tinder, it started out all guns blazing around this time last year, there was a long distance element to it but it got into a good routine, there were a few alarm bells that I was so blinded by this guy I ignored them alarm bells, it was a love at first sight scenario (not just on my part according to him but who knows). Long story short we didn’t make it through lockdown for various reasons my mental health took a battering and I was diagnosed with depression, but that’s something I’ve long had but never sought help with but it just got to a point in lockdown where I had no other option but to seek help. Anyway cut to the end I shouldered the blame for the end of the relationship, i did something so daft and minuscule but it got dragged out over 3 weeks so he could decide and in the end he did it via voice note. Told me he loved me but needed to be single for a while but profile was updated and back on Tinder the next day, total duck boy, I think he wanted a relationship but wanted to keep a single kind of life, and all for a few likes on Instagram, he was forever adding random guys, that i’ve since spotted on Tinder when I was swiping. I waited a couple of weeks (which is still probably too soon but i needed some entertainment) but I’ve gone back into the murky world of Tinder (joy of joys) the usual fun and games you all describe, I spend the majority of my time swiping left, or thinking why the duck would you put that photo on or if they’re the same age as me then duck I’ve got good genres or they’ve had a truly hard life, there are some absolute hilarious profiles. It’s a good session for making you feel better about yourself.
So anyway I went in with having no expectations, I dip in and out, anyway I chatted with people, had a few dead conversations. I’ve recently been on a couple of dates with a guy who seems to be lovely! Complete opposite of the guy I was in a relationship and whilst it’s early days, things are progressing at a more respectable speed, but where I’m a bit lost is he hasn’t blown me away like the duck boy above, i appreciate that was probably not a natural situation, and I think he’s definitely more genuine from the time I’ve spent with him, but I’m just like I don’t know how I feel, part of me wants to keep going and see, but part of me is like I don’t know, but maybe it’s just because I’ve had my fingers burnt and a bit wary, and also a bit like I genuinely can’t swipe any more, I think I ran out of people to swipe left on at one point, and all the conversations have been dull as, so I guess I’m potentially running the risk of settling but my mind is a bit frazzled.
I’ve convinced myself I’m going to be ghosted on Friday and given myself crazy anxiety over it.
We made the arrangements on Sunday and I haven’t heard from him since. This isn’t unusual when works mental and he’s never ghosted me in the two years I’ve known him so I’m not sure why I’m stressing now. Over the lockdowns we were extra close and he said it killed him not to see me but I’m still driving myself mad thinking I won’t hear from him.
I refuse to make the first move because he’s the one that pushes it.
We made the arrangements on Sunday and I haven’t heard from him since. This isn’t unusual when works mental and he’s never ghosted me in the two years I’ve known him so I’m not sure why I’m stressing now. Over the lockdowns we were extra close and he said it killed him not to see me but I’m still driving myself mad thinking I won’t hear from him.
I refuse to make the first move because he’s the one that pushes it.
Think positive thoughts! Like you said he's never ghosted you and he goes quiet when he's super busy.
How often does he usually text? I think you soon know if they are ghosting or not by their usually phone habits.
Like the last guy I was seeing, every day I'd get a good morning text, plenty of chat through the day etc, replying to messages right way, then when the morning texts stop (the first day I didn't get a morning text was the morning after we'd first slept together - let me tell you this massively fucked with my head!) and not reading my texts for hours, obviously I'm gonna think something is up and if I'd casually ask if everything was OK he'd make out like I was the crazy one. Ahh I hate all this guess work!
I’d have usually heard from him by now but like I said it isn’t too unusual and I can’t think why he would suddenly do it now. He’s blunt and would just tell meHow often does he usually text? I think you soon know if they are ghosting or not by their usually phone habits.
Like the last guy I was seeing, every day I'd get a good morning text, plenty of chat through the day etc, replying to messages right way, then when the morning texts stop (the first day I didn't get a morning text was the morning after we'd first slept together - let me tell you this massively fucked with my head!) and not reading my texts for hours, obviously I'm gonna think something is up and if I'd casually ask if everything was OK he'd make out like I was the crazy one. Ahh I hate all this guess work!
. I think it stems from a psycho I had a fling with last year who would always kick off about something and then ghost me before we were supposed to go out.
I know you say you're refusing to make the first move, but how long are you going to leave it before the date if you've not heard from him and what do you intend to do if you don't hear from him?
Hi I hope you don’t mind me jumping in. I’ve been single for nearly 7 years. I left my abusive marriage and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. So I’ve had one or two fwb and that’s all I wanted and it worked well. In January I decided to jump into fb dating, it’s the least offensive one out there I think lol. I met someone in February on there, we texted until the travel restrictions eased and met at the beginning of this month, we’ve met a few times, it was going well, he said all the right things, was so lovely to me etc and I started to think I could trust him and start letting my guard down. Was on his fb and insta and everything he had said to me about his past was true, he was having trouble with an ex and children but that was being settled through the courts. I’d actually started to think it was going somewhere and was considering telling people I’d met someone as that was a big deal for me after being single for so long and working so hard on building myself back up from the gutters after I left my ex. Yesterday he told me he’s going to work away, everything is too much at home for him with the ex and the kids etc and he needs to get away. Fair enough I thought, I’ve been there in the past it’s not the end of the world. I asked him where does that leave me and his reply was I don’t know really, you’re too good for me anyway. After a few messages it’s obvious that he’s not wanting to continue ‘us’ and that’s fine, I’m not wanting to be with anyone who doesn’t want me. But I’m actually really devastated about it all. Not so much about him because if that’s what he wants to do then he should completely go for it but I just feel like what’s wrong with me? Why couldn’t he if at least tried to see if it would work? I’d finally got into a good place mentally and had dealt with the trauma I’d been through, I’m independent and not clingy etc, I’ve got my life together and was in a very good place. I feel like I’m never going to be happy with anyone and all the work I’ve done on myself has just come crashing down and I’m back to feeling as worthless as my ex told me I was. Why tell me that he wanted it to go serious and then do that? I hadn’t told many people about him just incase and I’m so upset about how I’m feeling, I’ve just cried all night and day over it. I’m sorry for such a long essay but I needed to tell someone
How long is it since you spoke to him? If it’s been a while I’d make other plans and tell him you’re busy, don’t fit your life around him, he should be respectful to check inI’d have usually heard from him by now but like I said it isn’t too unusual and I can’t think why he would suddenly do it now. He’s blunt and would just tell me
Reading some recent posts, my heart goes out to a lot of you who are finding the dating world really tough. Honestly, if you’re not enjoying it then take a break! It can be very emotionally and mentally draining, alongside using up a lot of your free time.
I can’t think of any good reason why you’d need to keep pushing for something to happen if it feels like it’s just not the right time or it’s actively upsetting you and eroding your self confidence.
Try and take the positives from this situation if you can: you put yourself out there, you met someone you liked and you were able to start considering a future with them. Sounds like a lot of progress from where you must have been a few years ago.
I can’t think of any good reason why you’d need to keep pushing for something to happen if it feels like it’s just not the right time or it’s actively upsetting you and eroding your self confidence.
Nothing is wrong with you and you are not worthless. I wish there were some kind of evaluation everyone had to complete before starting online dating because there is no barrier to anyone saying they are looking for a relationship when they’re either blatantly lying or really aren’t in a position (for a number of reasons) to commit to one. This can lead good people into being hurt, I’m sorry if you have been.
Try and take the positives from this situation if you can: you put yourself out there, you met someone you liked and you were able to start considering a future with them. Sounds like a lot of progress from where you must have been a few years ago.
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I've been in that exact situation beforeHow often does he usually text? I think you soon know if they are ghosting or not by their usually phone habits.
Like the last guy I was seeing, every day I'd get a good morning text, plenty of chat through the day etc, replying to messages right way, then when the morning texts stop (the first day I didn't get a morning text was the morning after we'd first slept together - let me tell you this massively fucked with my head!) and not reading my texts for hours, obviously I'm gonna think something is up and if I'd casually ask if everything was OK he'd make out like I was the crazy one. Ahh I hate all this guess work!
Thank you so much, I was just talking to my friend about it and she put it perfectly, ‘it’s not that you’re upset about him letting you down, you’re upset that another man has let you down’
It feels like I’m just unlovable atm and I don’t know if I can face doing it again and feeling like this.
Thank you for your kind words x
I would have never spoken to him again.. I’m stubborn
Panic over. He text me asking if I was ok. What a twit anxiety is, thanks for the replies.
Oh yeah...that would make sense otherwise why would you even bother to say I'm leaving work etc...
Literally just meet up for an hour tops. Just go for coffee and tell yourself you will be home in an hour with pjs on, watching a film and a glass of wine lol. I'm nervous whenever I go on dates but I take it slow and think we'll it's only an hour. Be alright and then if you get in you can always extend the date. Just do it. The thought of the sare is always more nerve wracking then the actual date.I really really struggle to pluck up the courage to go on that first date. I need your help guys! I feel like I've been a bit of a prick tease over the last year since being single. I've had a decent connection with a few guys, chat for weeks but then the thought of meeting up with them makes me feel SO nervous and I close up and then potentially lose something that could have been good. Honestly, I was seeing a guy for a few months last year and it genuinely took me about 4 months before we met
Someone I was talking to for a long time last year and who I had a real good connection with, to the point we were sexting (but then I chickened out and he understandably backed off), messaged me at the weekend and I felt like it was meant to be after having a crappy time with another guy, I was straight away up for meeting and he was like "I'm not gonna let you get away this time lol" but already I am freaking out!! He wanted to meet up this afternoon and I've given excuses and bottled it. I envy how you girls casually go on dates. I am so socially awkward and hate being 1 on 1 with people. How do you do it!
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