Dating after Lockdown

[it’s not been changed?!]

I’m worried about the the chinchilla’s safety.

 

[bobthedragqueen]

I love this thread, glad to know I'm not on my own. On all the dating apps but living in a more rural area it's just the same guys going round and round in a bit of a funk, just feels like everyone else is winning at life and I'm still single and living at home with the folks.

Hey, that’s no way to speak about yourself pal!
Being in a relationship or living by yourself doesn’t define you and certainly isn’t a measure of your success or what a fucking badass bitch you are! Think about the other areas of life where you would consider yourself to be winning or things about yourself and your personality that you love or family/friends that you’re grateful to have in your life. This has been such a shitty year for all, but it’s not forever! Keep going! X

 

[bobthedragqueen]

He hasnt done any stories and hes not posted any pics lately so Im not sure if hes online.

Maybe just message them and ask them if they're alive then?

Jokes aside... Just go for it! What have you got to lose

Also appreciate this thread, went through a serious break up just before lockdown (end of feb) and spent the first few months of it processing heartbreak while also chatting to guys on hinge I knew I’d never be able to meet anytime soon. I feel they had a similar perspective even if they weren’t going through a break up - lockdown happened so suddenly it became quite lonely by end of March / April. It was nice to be on a dating app just to chat to someone without the pressure to arrange a date hanging over you.

I stopped checking it for a while when I started chatting to my ex (he lives in America , we won’t be getting back together) but i have cautiously returned. Hinge is the only one I can stand. I agree with the 28 year old who felt too old for tinder- I’m 30 andit just doesn’t appeal like it did when I was 24 (nothing like dating apps to make you realise your age, seriously).
I tried bumble immediately after my break up but I’m not a fan of the format at all. Hinge is definitely the best I’ve tried, I like the shared focus on personality for the profile with pictures even if you see a lot of the same attempts at being clever / funny.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who felt past it!
Sorry to hear you've gone through a break up recently and hope you're doing okay!
Completely agree about Bumble... I liked the concept because I'm not arsed about speaking first but always felt like I was shooting my shot and getting nowhere because of the 24 hour time your matches have to reply.

 

[under the ivy]

I’m not going to even think about another relationship until my PhD is done (2 years time ). A man isn’t going to get me my dream career, my dream home and car one day. My ex hurt me real bad and I’m still healing, I’m just really over men and relationships! I’m sick of seeing it on SM, ‘cosy winter nights with bae’ F OFF

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

It's true what they say, they appear when you least expect it and when you're happy by yourself x

When we’re all happy and in love can we please return and update this thread.

We may well end up laughing about how sad/hating dating/ single we were

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Oh my god this profile is outrageous!! Forgot to post this on here!!
Who types like that?! How and why???

 

[Woolmercardington]

I spoke with someone last night on Tinder, I was excited to match with him, we had all the same interests, including the same main hobby. He messaged me first complimenting me on my pictures and then I eeeked my way to message 7 of his one word answers and had to quit . What is the deal with these guys haha!!!

Oh god, that is another massively annoying thing. Messages that start strong but fizzle because he's suddenly putting no effort in. Replying with one or two words with no follow up.

I do the same and stop replying, which has always been the right call as they've never messaged again either

 

[Sprottish]

Oh my gosh how hard work is going on socially distanced dates. had a second date today out in this baltic freezing weather on a park which was like an ice rink. SO difficult for conversation starters and realistically what does the future hold?? At what point will it not be a socially distanced walk in the park?! Bleak...

 

[CosmicCreepers]

Stay safe out there, I think for me personally I will only turn to online dating if I really don't get anywhere with people at work, friendship groups etc in the future. After my friends experience of matching with this lovely, friendly 20 something guy and then turning up at the train station for it to be a 70 year old man and her basically running away (not joking) I'd always make sure you know who it is you're talking to I always said she should've video called him first, the photos always looked fishy to me, like theyd been screenshotted and cropped!

 

[Tabula.rasa]

Ah so relatable! Getting back on the apps after a long term relationship can feel so demoralising, especially where we are now with covid.

Worst one so far - this guy compliments my appearance and says I look like someone he knows. A bit of digging, it’s a ‘relation’. Some more pestering to find out it’s his bloody (half) SISTER. I wish I screenshot the conversation before he blocked me - he couldn’t see how weird it was.. no I won’t be your stand in for the little incest fantasy you clearly have going on!

(Can’t blame him - POF is a cesspit but find the men on Bumble et al often boringly obnoxious)

 

[Woolmercardington]

Aw, so bloke I've been chatting with since last Jun/Jul finally ghosted

I literally would NEVER chat with a bloke that long but, like for many, it was a lockdown thing. In fact I found him a bit of a pain at first, but like Covid, he just wouldn't go away and I eventually had to concede in putting up with him

His lack of ego and sense of humour did actually win me over and he'd always pop up and start a convo, but it's been three weeks now and I annoyingly miss hearing from the idiot.

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

Guys, is it considered a red flag if you don't really use social media/keep a low profile on it? It seems like every guy who I get chatting to on Tinder etc asks for my Insta...which I don't have and never have. I used to have snapchat but got rid of it a few years ago and whilst I have Facebook, I mainly only use it for messenger and haven't updated it in a few years. I'm 24 btw - I just found that social media increasingly made me feel worse about myself so I don't really use it much anymore lmao.

This happens to me quite a lot too. I only have Instagram but very rarely post on it and when I do, it’s usually a picture of my dog The few followers I do have all know me personally either as friends, family or work colleagues, so to them, it’s not weird. But I have had a few matches either stop speaking to me altogether or suddenly become very frosty after they’ve added me on Insta and seen that there’s not much to find on there in terms of selfies and whatnot.

In a way, I get it. As someone else said, they probably want to check you’re not a catfish and I can completely understand that. I did think about posting a few photos of me on there but then I think, it’s my social media page, not an extension of my dating profile so why should I?

I do think nowadays, we are so used to people sharing every detail of their lives on social media, it does seem strange when you encounter someone who doesn’t. I’d be interested to hear others’ experiences of this

 

[under the ivy]

Hi @YorkshireFox how did it go?

It went well, I was just so nervous. But when I saw him, my nerves just melted away. We had a few drinks and talked about our jobs, what we’d been up to etc. Didn’t talk about the break-up. On leaving he said I look really well and he’d like to see me again, so just left it at that. It was weird to be in his company again but I’m glad I’ve seen him to break the ice.

 

[sleepflowers]

I feel like a lot of the time when men follow your Instagram etc, they just want the thrill of having access to you and watching you from afar, without having to make an effort to talk. I always block anyone who does it.

 

[drewydrop]

I broke up with my boyfriend in October and last month I finally felt ready to get back out there. I gave myself til the beginning of March as I’m not getting any younger and feel like life is passing me by but now March is here and although I’m ready to move on and find someone, I really cannot be arsed with going online and talking to randoms when I don’t have anything interesting to say. I’m struggling to talk about anything interesting with my friends right now plus I have hardly any pictures of me. I hate selfies and having my photo taken in general, and I cant be arsed to go through it all when I can’t really meet anyone atm in person so what’s the point? Think I’m going to leave it for a while til I feel ready.

My friend on the other hand seems to be talking to someone different every week and not just through apps, contacting old acquaintances and was introduced to the latest guy by a friend who gave him her number. I don’t know how she does it so easily!

 

[Prinstress]

Hello i need help
How do i keep a guy interested when I'm inexperienced? I can be naïve and slightly dramatic?
He claims to be laid back, straightforward and somehow blunt. He thinks I'm too sensitive (I might be) and indirectly said that he'd have to tip toe around me and not be his blunt self.
I've been texting this guy for 3 weeks then we met (not technically a date but to get to know each other better than texting). We already knew each other superfically. He's 30 and I'm 25.
I like him as i had a crush on him long time ago.
We come from a Conservative background and dating is platonic before marriage

How did your ‘not technically a date’ go?
It sounds like you could be incompatible if his self assessment and yours are accurate, I know it’s tough but maybe just focus on getting to know eachother as friends without thinking too long term, especially as your background means you’d have to stay platonic until marriage?

In my personal experience people who self proclaim to be ‘straight forward’ or ‘blunt’ can translate to ‘opinionated arsehole who doesn’t care about other people’s feelings’

 

[Woolmercardington]

But maybe I can’t find out why his brain works like that , trying to turn a negative into a positive

Honestly, do not waste your time. There's nothing to work out with him. He sounds awful.

 

[coconochanel]

He has the cheek to like my FB post!

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

How far do you guys search? (Miles) mines about 20 as I don’t mind driving

5 miles 10 max I’m driving no where further than that

 

[Caramel Latte]

Okay so when i met my friend on 1/1/20 we thought this was the year we got to know new people. Now we can barely have a conversation with the people we already know.
In other words, whatever social skills we had are now nowhere to be found...