Dating after Lockdown

[whatktdid]

Gah, so, I have been on a few dates with a really lovely guy! I feel so out of practice, I was just chilling my way through the last 3 years single and not really looking. It's actually been ages since I've legitimately pursued someone.

That's not to say that I'm being a proper keen been - if anything, I'd say I've been more guarded than him so far. But I have made sure to let my guard down to the same extent. Such a weird balancing act, right? I like him, and because I don't have unlimited time/money/mental energy I am choosing not to date multiple people atm, but I wouldn't want to say that just yet because that holds additional pressure.

I don't know. In any case, I'm happy with how things are going, and we shall see!

 

[CynicalV]

It's difficult to imagine yourself trusting someone else isn't it. 3 years of abuse from a narcissistic sociopath will do that to you though I guess...

 

[coconochanel]

update on my disaster of date he said he fell asleep.

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Any suggestions for a new thread title or simply: just carry on as we are #menaintshit

 

[Bellaboo83]

He broke up with me and it was unexpected (on my side anyway). No nastiness just a lot of upset for me. Not sure how he feels as there’s been little contact apart from him arranging to see me, which in itself I’m trying not to overthink x

It's quite soon and the hurt will still be quite raw when you see him, old feelings of familiarity and connection might come back. The entire Internet () doesn't recommend meeting him so soon, however I know how hard it is not to (I've done it), just be aware it might bring all the hurt you felt at the beginning flooding back and all the progress you've made might be halted until you recover again. Has he told you what he wants? x

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Oh Christ. Just seen a chap (38 y/o) with a photo of him and his parents in matching Xmas elf pjs 🥲🥲🥲 Breaks my heart

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Happy to help I'm very dry and sarcastic so some people take it the wrong way haha

I’m chatting to someone else now on an app who has killed the conversation by replying to me with nothing for me to respond back to Is it just me who thinks they need to be asked a question to then have something to reply back to every time?!

 

[Bellaboo83]

I spoke with someone last night on Tinder, I was excited to match with him, we had all the same interests, including the same main hobby. He messaged me first complimenting me on my pictures and then I eeeked my way to message 7 of his one word answers and had to quit . What is the deal with these guys haha!!!

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Bumble has taken away the option for what height of men/ women you want so swipe through. you have to pay to use that filter for height specifics!! Wtf.

 

[Millyve]

Thank you so much for your response. So I really thought about it this morning. @Eyerollbrainache

This was my first kiss since 2019 (how mad is that!! The previous guy was someone I dated for some time, really liked and then he ghosted me!!). So I think that had a part to play. I agree if we weren’t in lockdown and went out for dinner I wouldn’t have minded it etc it probably is a mixture of the craziness of this year (in all ways).

I am looking forward to seeing him again and just to see how I feel/he is another time

and yes haha I’ll tell him about the pet names before I get the ick!!

I’m so happy to read someone is dating like I am! I went on a date and I previously had told him not so kiss me when he asked me what my reaction would be if he tried anyway we went on a date hugged to say goodbye and I kissed him! Made it less awkward & I’m super excited to see him again!

 

[Pink blancmange]

What is the longest you ladies have chatted/text with a bloke before meeting?

Back in the day, when I did online dating properly, I would communicate no longer than a couple of weeks before going on a date. The sooner the better for me and I'd always avoid incessant texting leading up to meeting.

Just wondered, though, if anyone has chatted for quite a length of time before meeting - maybe due to lockdown or even prior to Covid? How did it go? Expectation vs reality?

I try not to message for ages before meeting but with an ex we were messaging for about a month before we met. We ended up in a relationship but we were long distance so messaging was a big part of our relationship because of how far apart we lived. He was so different in person to what he was like when we were messaging. I ended up preferring his messaging personality to him in real life which sounds ridiculous but it was honestly like 2 different people!

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Why does he need to clarify Rotterdam is in the Netherlands?

In case they get it confused with Rotherham.

 

[buffyjayne]

in my failed experiences the forwardness is just so they can advance to the bedroom sooner rather than later, then ghosted!
I've had so many bad experiences I'm actually too afraid to try again. It's really painful getting ghosted. But I do get my hopes up and honestly think the very best of everyone (bad combination)

Thank you all so much for this thread and everyone who has been active and shared. It's been so helpful and comforting !

 

[KimKardash91]

This thread shows me I’ve clearly dated trash. I remember one that stood out and it was valentines, he wished me happy valentines on snapchat, didn’t see me and then was saying how his right hand will be his girlfriend tonight.

Worst part is i had no confidence or esteem (he messed that up) and still dated him for months

Lads can we all talk about snapchat for 2 mins please?
What are your experiences with lads on the apps and snapchat?
I’ve had loads of men who prefer their hand and snapchat rather than actually coming over and having sex in real life lol

Why do men in their twenties and thirties prefer nude pics and sexting on snapchat rather than meeting up with the woman in real life to actually have sex?
Am I crazy or is that crazy?
Performance issues perhaps?

Lads can we all talk about snapchat for 2 mins please?
What are your experiences with lads on the apps and snapchat?
I’ve had loads of men who prefer their hand and snapchat rather than actually coming over and having sex in real life lol

Why do men in their twenties and thirties prefer nude pics and sexting on snapchat rather than meeting up with the woman in real life to actually have sex?
Am I crazy or is that crazy?
Performance issues perhaps?

Btw this was before covid also FYI

 

[Woolmercardington]

That's really weird! I'd just say '???' to throw the ball back to him, so to say. They really shoot themselves in the foot with their terrible conversation skills at times

It is really odd, isn't it? It's not the type of nonsense I would have pegged with him either. I'm more inclined to ignore him now rather than respond in any way.

 

[AbsolutelyFine]

Would also throw 'baggage reclaim' by natalie lue into the ring as well. Harsh but firm assessment of flakey/shady behaviour and red flags. I found myself nodding along to most of it and cringing at some of the behaviour i've accepted in the past. Never again! Read and re-read.

 

[Cocoflowers]

I'm back on the apps now just felt comfortable re downloading them

that guy i posted before about red flags and ghosting me etc turns out he has been a relationship the whole time i love that i can find all this information out!

Has anyone noticed so many men lie about their age

 

[sleepflowers]

It's a shame about the text he's posted as just to look at him, you'd think he was a real catch, wouldn't you!?

I know right! It's always the most unattractive men who have the most audacity...

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Hinge must be much better than tinder then if you can manage to find 8 people to like in a day

I was wondering how they managed to like more than 8 people on hinge. I never see anyone I like! Lol

 

[aimz_yeah]

I’m not sure what impression he’s hoping to give with that, but it immediately gives me sexual predator vibes like he’d be really forceful and forward the second you met him and wouldn’t take no for an answer.
“Just let me give you a good snog. You WILL feel it!”

I mean its true. He clearly thinks that women will want whatever it is he is actually offering and doesn't realise how repulsive he is actually being. He would definitely be one of those guys that would get butt hurt at the slightest rejection

(and to any guys lurking on here, I know its tough for you on dating sites as well and you're not all like the examples on here)