Dating after lockdown #36 Have you dated a man? You may be entitled to compensation.

[Blueblue123]

@Fledgling Psycho I feel exactly the same- where are all these men and women finding people?! I’m the only one of my friend group, siblings, family (bar my widowed nanny!!) who’s single?! Any apps are no good within 5 minutes as I’ve gone through everyone in a 10-20 mile radius. Any further out never leads to any dates. I have children and work and don’t get time to drive around the country Why is it so seemingly easy for literally EVERYONE but this tattle thread

I get the feeling and often have similar thoughts.

But then I think of the guys who I believed had more pros than cons and realise I would've been disrespecting myself.

I *could've* broken my single streak with the guy who ghosted me for a month then tried to return with no explanation.

Or the guy who said my body was "hot, but would be hotter" if I worked out once he realised my stomach wasn't as flat as he thought. I now strongly suspect I have fibroids so there's that. Oh, and he also started making less effort to talk to me.

Not saying that's the case for everyone but when I was in my 20s and less content with the peace of being single, I 100% would've overlooked those things and given those guys a chance. Because apart from those issues, we got on really well and they were nice guys overall. I was genuinely upset things didn't work out. Even now, some days I'm like "sigh, what a shame". But more about them having hole qualities which spoiled things.

And both of them seemed surprised when I lost interest which kind of shows what behaviour some people consider acceptable when dating.

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

@Blueblue123 Horrible things to say to you. The lacking in emotional intelligence is shocking. Yet they'd be surprised if we said something like "you'd be attractive if you were taller, had more hair & a more aesthetic dick"

 

[Blueblue123]

It’s like we are amazing, but they can’t muster up any enthusiasm?!

I've had this same thought. I'm just as unenthusiastic about dating these days but you better believe I put my energy into dating (when it happens). Otherwise, why date?!

@Blueblue123 Horrible things to say to you. The lacking in emotional intelligence is shocking. Yet they'd be surprised if we said something like "you'd be attractive if you were taller, had more hair & a more aesthetic dick"

Truly! And he was one of the less problematic guys I've come across and one of the few I imagined getting into a relationship with.

God knows why.

I say that to say, @holliebollie, sometimes we look at what we don't have and get upset but if we really examine our "missed opportunities", we'll see we're not always missing out.

We just have to consider our own experiences to imagine what people might be putting up with.

I could've been in this thread bragging about a relationship with a man who called me fat and thought it was okay to stop talking to me. 🫠

To my recollection, there's no one on this thread who I believe has lost out on a good person.

 

[Thank(space)you]

Is 28 too young for a 38 yr old? Not expecting wedding bells or anything remotely serious.
I work in a male dominant industry and the men in their 30s and 40s ignore the females in their age range and make a beeline for the female apprentices in the office. Not that I would ever get involved with anyone from work and they’re all married anyway, but it just made me think…. Am I past it now?! lol

I definitely found dating a lot easier when I was younger. I think part of it is over saturation on the apps, and part of it is (generally) younger women are more afraid to state their boundaries/will let guys get away with a lot more.

 

[Thank(space)you]

A zombie just popped up on my phone, I gave him a second chance before and he ghosted when we had plans. So I've replied saying "not today satan" and blocked him. Petty but it made me feel better

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

A zombie just popped up on my phone, I gave him a second chance before and he ghosted when we had plans. So I've replied saying "not today satan" and blocked him. Petty but it made me feel better

Did you make sure he read it before you blocked?

 

[MollyMalone]

This is not dating related at all but it's funny and a bit embarrassing and I need to share it and it involves my bits but we're all friends here so sorry if it's an overshare

I've been suffering with recurring/lingering thrush so went to the GP for the oral antifungal med. She also prescribed me a steroid cream and told me to get a probiotic.Picked it up from Boots today and the girl serving at the till said the pharmacist wanted to come and have a word with me. Fine. The most gorgeous BABE of a man walked out and started casually explaining to me about my thrush medication and dosage etc and I was just like yeah, the doctor explained all this to me and he goes oh okay great, I just wanted to make sure you didn't have any questions.

Whyyyyyyy is it the hottest man I've seen in a long time has to have a chat about my fanny fungus JESUS. He had a wedding ring on so obviously not available anyway but still. Mortifying

 

[Thank(space)you]

Did you make sure he read it before you blocked?

Yes

 

[Rach472]

BUT DOES HE LIKE ME?!
I know I went through a few mad months on fab but then I met this thoroughly fabulous human being on there. Been fwb about 5 months now. Been holding back on feeling anything as he said he wasn't looking for anything serious for the next year. I split up with my husband last May and was same.
I'm a bit shocked at this. Felt a shift recently when he went on hols but dismissed it. He's way out of my league. Sexiest ginger.

 

[Guyyyyyzzzzzz]

This is not dating related at all but it's funny and a bit embarrassing and I need to share it and it involves my bits but we're all friends here so sorry if it's an overshare

I've been suffering with recurring/lingering thrush so went to the GP for the oral antifungal med. She also prescribed me a steroid cream and told me to get a probiotic.Picked it up from Boots today and the girl serving at the till said the pharmacist wanted to come and have a word with me. Fine. The most gorgeous BABE of a man walked out and started casually explaining to me about my thrush medication and dosage etc and I was just like yeah, the doctor explained all this to me and he goes oh okay great, I just wanted to make sure you didn't have any questions.

Whyyyyyyy is it the hottest man I've seen in a long time has to have a chat about my fanny fungus JESUS. He had a wedding ring on so obviously not available anyway but still. Mortifying

Ohhhh I’ve had the same except had to go get something but didn’t know what I need cause of the itch down there. Anyway asked to speak to the pharmacist got put in a room and in walks this proper fit guy, I was like are you lost? He goes no? Well I don’t think so, you need a consultation with the pharmacist I could have died talking to him about how much I’m dying to go and itch myself to death. I don’t know how he kept a straight face tbh .

Is fab the swingers site?

 

[freezelouise43]

This is not dating related at all but it's funny and a bit embarrassing and I need to share it and it involves my bits but we're all friends here so sorry if it's an overshare

I've been suffering with recurring/lingering thrush so went to the GP for the oral antifungal med. She also prescribed me a steroid cream and told me to get a probiotic.Picked it up from Boots today and the girl serving at the till said the pharmacist wanted to come and have a word with me. Fine. The most gorgeous BABE of a man walked out and started casually explaining to me about my thrush medication and dosage etc and I was just like yeah, the doctor explained all this to me and he goes oh okay great, I just wanted to make sure you didn't have any questions.

Whyyyyyyy is it the hottest man I've seen in a long time has to have a chat about my fanny fungus JESUS. He had a wedding ring on so obviously not available anyway but still. Mortifying

I second that!! My surgeon is super hot (for an older man) and I said please don’t give me amoxicillin it gives me unladylike side effects he said “gives you thrush does it?” Well yes lying here with an itchy fanny too I’ve got that steroid cream (from a bout last year) in the fridge be careful not to get it actually inside you it burns to high heaven! Is yours timidene? Xx

 

[MollyMalone]

I second that!! My surgeon is super hot (for an older man) and I said please don’t give me amoxicillin it gives me unladylike side effects he said “gives you thrush does it?” Well yes lying here with an itchy fanny too I’ve got that steroid cream (from a bout last year) in the fridge be careful not to get it actually inside you it burns to high heaven! Is yours timidene? Xx

"Paging Dr. Hottie" ugh maybe we should have gone into medicine/pharmacy to fine a mate

The cream is eumovate. No burning so far anyway

 

[NoddyFromToytown]

"Paging Dr. Hottie" ugh maybe we should have gone into medicine/pharmacy to fine a mate

The cream is eumovate. No burning so far anyway

I work in an NHS Trust of over 8000 people.. there’s literally not one person ive seen who id go for! (Oh except one who turned out to be gay)

I used to work in research and had a meeting about a coronavirus study back in 2013 (yes really)… the infectious diseases expert who walked in was just about the sexiest guy I’d ever seen! No idea how I got through the day making sense. His name is Outbreak Jake on X by the way (think I can mention him here as he has over 10k followers)

 

[EddyDarling]

I just got asked out very respectfully and politely on Facebook

 

[NoddyFromToytown]

I just called into a pub in town quickly and there was an absolutely gorgeous guy in there who I feel like kept looking over at me… however I was:

1) with a male friend
2) male friend is on leave from a psych hospital so not like we were in a position to make small talk with others

of course he could be taken (however no wedding ring). Ugh I hate it when that happens

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

Just wanted to say hello again, after not having been on the site for ages (was put off by some v nasty comments about celebs on other threads) but recently found my way back.

I practised some "slow dating" over the past year and after some bin-boys (by which I mean men that belong in the bin, not the highly valued garbage removers) I started dating someone who I quite like.
We started texting each other on Bumble towards the end of the summer/early autoumn and he only asked me to go out in November and since then we have been dating, but nothing physical happened until last weekend (there were hugs, but no kisses or anything).

We didn't see each other very often, he is divorced and has a young child which he has 50% of the time and he is very busy in his corporate managerial role with frequent travel to the US. But we always texted and also spent a full day together twice.
I like him as he is smart, but down to earth and quite practical also, and he is really nice and considerate and quite attractive. He seems to be a genuinely good person.

Last weekend I went to his place to watch some Netflix and finally grabbed him. As shy as he was, once the ice was broken he wasn't shy anymore and it was quite enjoyable until.... you won't believe it, the thing we were worrying about when I was still on this thread showed up, it was the dreaded micro-penis! Why does it have to be MEEEEE???? So it didn't quite "work" in the end, he didn't say anything and neither did I, but the kisses and cuddles were good.

So I don't know what is going to happen or how to proceed, but I think I will just wait and see.

 

[freezelouise43]

Interesting situation this morning, walking my dog and got chatting to a guy with his lovely old whippet, we stood talking about our dogs for about 15 mins. He mentioned his wife letting her out, and I didn’t think anything of it. But then he didn’t seem in a rush to walk on and started telling me about his life…in any other circumstances I would of thought he was ok, my sort of age, ok looking etc. but in the end I made my excuses and left because I’m not standing getting into it with some man who I’m getting “that” vibe off who’s married! Ugh…why doesn’t this ever happen with single guys

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

@whathastheworldcometo I had a very frustrating relationship with someone who I genuinely thought was my "reward" but he was impotent. So annoying & of course he tried to blame me!
I did have experience of a "tiddler" but luckily was a ONS. It's a really disappointing development & how he must feel, well that's a whole other problem. Good luck.

 

[holliebollie]

@MollyMalone I had this during covid at a Boots serving hatch The words ‘cottage cheese discharge’ came out with a gorgeous Scouse man behind me (got his name but never found him on FB)… WHYYYYY?!

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

@whathastheworldcometo I had a very frustrating relationship with someone who I genuinely thought was my "reward" but he was impotent. So annoying & of course he tried to blame me!
I did have experience of a "tiddler" but luckily was a ONS. It's a really disappointing development & how he must feel, well that's a whole other problem. Good luck.

How rude to blame you! What an idiot. Someone like this surely wasn't your reward, this is a really disgraceful thing to do. He should own his "flaws" and not blame anyone else on it.

I am of the opinion that nobody needs to apologise for their human body... we all cannot pick and chose our looks and health (apart from looking after ourselves), but have to accept what we have been given.
So I don't hold it against him in any way... I will wait if it improves and might have been just nerves and if it is the same the next couple of times I will broach the subject and maybe suggest medication?

But on a different note - I can really recommend "slow dating". It weeds out those that are only after a bit of company and physical action, you notice if you don't feel like it if they offer you a chat on the phone (happened to me with two guys) and it is very different to wake up with someone you kind of already know.