Dating after lockdown #31 More ghosts than a cemetery!

[Fledgling Psycho]

I agr

@Thank(space)you its time to stand in your power and take back co tool of the situation. He’s messed you around so much, and clearly isn’t communicating in a way which you need.

I’d say something like “I’ve been thinking about our situation and it’s not working for me. No hard feelings - have a great summer.”

Don’t block, just delete his number so he does t think you feel hard done by.

Then move on. Don’t reply to him, just keep reminding yourself he’s just not for you.

I agree with this. When it happened to me, I waited a week (excruciating) and then sent " Hi I'm sorry you didn't feel like you could tell me you no longer wanted to talk to me. If our connection is broken then I wish you all the best for the future. Take care of yourself" That was it. He blocked me from that phone. I was always open I had two phones. One for work & family etc. The other for the apps. Many times I kicked myself for sending it but now I like to think it conveyed Yes, I'm done with this too. I never blocked him. Maybe a year later I saw I was unblocked but I never contacted him again, never looked at IG and I'm not on FB. Some days I still feel the hurt, sometimes anger but what can you do really? It happened and now it's over. I just go with the feelings and say ok feel this but don't hang on to it. There are so many nicer emotions around the corner he is deleted from my phone now. No point rubbing salt in a wound.

 

[triesherbest]

This is so me at this point
---

Whenever I read your posts my heart goes out to you. We try so hard to find refuge in a stranger's heart but it cannot be done. Seeing other people seeming to find this so easily, gives us a desire to keep trying but I think true peace lies within and it takes time and a daily committment to oneself. If life is a balance sheet then finding that for yourself has to be better than the roller coaster of emotional trauma that "some" men impart.

Thank you 🩷 this is beautifully put, couldn't have said it better myself

This really is my favourite corner of the internet

 

[Thank(space)you]

I just don't want it to be over because of this. I do really like him. And I feel like just giving up on not only him, but dating altogether tbh. I don't have the emotional resilience to keep getting hurt.

I've still not responded to his message this morning.

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

I just don't want it to be over because of this. I do really like him. And I feel like just giving up on not only him, but dating altogether tbh. I don't have the emotional resilience to keep getting hurt.

I've still not responded to his message this morning.

If you're not ready yet, put a date in your diary. Say two weeks away. Observe his contribution and if it still makes you feel awful, then jump off that diving board. I don't know about you but all this man angst really affected me being present for my child.

 

[harveydean]

I just don't want it to be over because of this. I do really like him. And I feel like just giving up on not only him, but dating altogether tbh. I don't have the emotional resilience to keep getting hurt.

I've still not responded to his message this morning.

 

[BWGossip]

I'll say what my mother used to say when I was a kid: better alone than in bad company

Another example of a man being complete trash: a friend's dad left for work one day and never came back. He sent them a text the next day, said he wasn't coming back, and he blocked them. My friend never saw her dad again and she is still in therapy to overcome the trauma. He was married for 25 years ! Some people are just selfish cunts who should stay away from others...

 

[Jojoo]

Just saw this

 

[EddyDarling]

 

[Kitty kat 20]

Thread title suggestion "Cowards cowards everywhere,dating these days I just despair"

 

[blueblue]

How you feeling @Clementine

 

[Thank(space)you]

bleeping head neighbour sent me the "it's not you it's me" text "hope we can still be friends"

Coincidence this comes after he had a load of girls at his last night

I'm just done with dating. I can't do it any more. Feel like my mum was right about me, she always said nobody is ever going to love me. Men will just want me for sex and as a mother she found me hard to love let alone anyone else.

*yes I'm having my dramatic ass pity party

 

[LaBlonde]

bleeping head neighbour sent me the "it's not you it's me" text "hope we can still be friends"

Coincidence this comes after he had a load of girls at his last night

I'm just done with dating. I can't do it any more. Feel like my mum was right about me, she always said nobody is ever going to love me. Men will just want me for sex and as a mother she found me hard to love let alone anyone else.

*yes I'm having my dramatic ass pity party

i’m so so sorry

your mum is NOT right about you and that was an incredibly cruel thing to say. from your posts here i am telling you that you are not hard to love. that just isn’t true.

 

[IGiveUp22]

bleeping head neighbour sent me the "it's not you it's me" text "hope we can still be friends"

Coincidence this comes after he had a load of girls at his last night

I'm just done with dating. I can't do it any more. Feel like my mum was right about me, she always said nobody is ever going to love me. Men will just want me for sex and as a mother she found me hard to love let alone anyone else.

*yes I'm having my dramatic ass pity party

Ohhh no don’t think that, your mum is not right and also that’s an awful thing to say! You are worthy of love, you will find love but just not with crappy half assed men.
It is a him and not you problem! Be upset, get it all out and then pick yourself back up again. You deserve more and there will be a man out there that will give it to you.
But honestly, if you do break/stop dating, that doesn’t mean you won’t be happy. You can make yourself happy…don’t need no ones dusty ass son to make you happy

 

[Thank(space)you]

I just feel like such an idiot

 

[BWGossip]

Feel like my mum was right about me, she always said nobody is ever going to love me. Men will just want me for sex and as a mother she found me hard to love let alone anyone else.

It says nothing about you but it says everything about your mother. You're not unloveable!

Take time off, focus on yourself, your family and friends, and whatever bring your joy (besides men). Pamper yourself, you deserve nice things! (doesn't have to spend money, just do stuff you like for example). Don't let people treat you badly, kindness and politeness are the bare minimum.

 

[EyeLoveIcelands]

@Thank(space)you
Feel how you feel about the guy, but please don’t internalise what your mother said about you. She doesn’t sound mentally well and is most likely projecting. Every post from you is so kind and genuine, you’re absolutely worthy of love. Most women have to kiss a few frogs first; it’s a (stressful and often hurtful) journey. Thinking of you xx

 

[Thank(space)you]

Should I block him?

 

[LaBlonde]

Should I block him?

YES!!

 

[harveydean]

Should I block him?

Please don’t ever think you aren’t worthy of love. You are.

How did the conversation go?

 

[Thank(space)you]

Please don’t ever think you aren’t worthy of love. You are.

How did the conversation go?

He said he likes me but he's scared of being hurt so no longer wants to continue to date me.