I haven’t been on in days but @SunflowerI think this all sounds very positive! I wouldn't care about how far you went on the first date, if he's a dick he's a dick and will show you that soon but if not, he also won't think anything of what ye did. I also wouldn't read too much into what he said about not promising you a relationship that's fair enough when you are still getting to know each other! Let us know if you hear anything!
@freezelouise43 I'm sorry I have to agree with all the replies here especially when you said he always disappoints you
@Hot_Dogs_Or_Toes I say Go For It! It sounds like the chat is focused on one thing and you're both on the same page! I know you will, but at least try to repay the favour anyway!Have fun!
I had a nightmare of a day yesterday! Not only was work absolutely mental but 1. The guy who said those nasty things to me Friday night text me telling me he was in the same county as me. As if nothing had happened! What the actual F
Then in the afternoon I got a very long message from a guy I'd been seeing for 3 months at the end of last year, beginning of this year saying how he missed me and if I didn't want to meet up for dinner would I consider being friends. I don't want to get into it too much as to the reasons why I ended it but long story short; aggressive behaviour, could not hold a conversation without getting defensive, commented on the cleanliness of my house (I'm so proud and love to clean) and I found out things after about further aggressive behaviour. I've never once regretted it and needless to say I replied, keeping it short and sweet to say I was in a good place and I didn't want to go back there but I genuinely wished him well. Absolutely no way I was even starting a conversation there. I was only waiting for a text from my ex fiance to complete the madness
Still chatting to P on phone and text. Did move a little more flirtatious too
Hope you're all well
To be fair about the unmovable bed thing. The condom wrapper could have been there for a long time. I’ve a bed that’s the same and it’s a fight to push it over to hoover around the edges of the floor and I have found a few odd socks that I’ve searched high and low forHello everyone. I've been part of this thread for a long time but stopped commenting almost 7 months ago.
I believe some of you will remember me, I was dating a guy who lied about his age. That was a major red flag, you'll say. Yes, it was. But I wanted to give him a chance so I did.
We've been together since that time. I never connected with anyone the way I did with him. I met his family and friends, been together at parties, went on trips, behaved completely as a couple. Things were clear, we were not bf and gf but I was completely ok with that since he asked me to be exclusive anyway. He called me 2-3 times a day every day. I never felt confused, or insecure, I knew his phone password (never looked at his stuff tho), slept at his several times a week, I didn't need more than that, I was happy with him.
Then 3 weeks ago we had a conversation about what we wanted in life bc things were getting serious and I had a few travels abroad planned, he asked what was I going to do. We decided to take some time to think and he said when you're ready I'm here to talk. I didn't see or speak to him till yesterday. We decided we wanted the same things so that meant staying together. Before deciding this, I asked if he wanted to change the exclusivity of the relationship or something. He said no, I don't want to see other people. Ok then.
We spent the afternoon together. We had sex. After that, I couldn't find one of my earrings so checked under the bed. There was a condom packet on the floor.
I asked him about it. He said he had not seen other people, that that could be there from "god knows when" because that bed is unmovable (that IS true, but seriously???).
I said, look, I asked you if you wanted to see other people and you said no. And I'm not going to get mad if you did. I'm just asking you to tell me the truth. We're not going to stop seeing each other, I said. He denied it over and over and over again, no matter what I said. "I don't need to be with other people, I just want to be with you, I don't want things to change," he said.
I'm not mad at him for doing it. I'm mad because he doesn't have the balls to tell me he did. Why would he keep lying if I said that that wasn't going to change things for me?
I don't even know what to feel, think or believe anymore. I feel like I turned off and don't have feelings anymore. I cannot even cry.
Thank you if you read this, and I'm sorry if my spelling is not perfect. English is not my first language.
I’d just be upfront with the first guy. I too hate it when they don’t make an effort so I usually go with: “If this is how you ask a lady out, my answer is no.” There is no shame in telling him to make an effort.I’m talking to guy who just keeps on inviting me out when I’m least expecting it — we can be talking about politics and he just goes like ‘I’m at XYZ, come join me?’That’s exactly why we haven’t met yet, I’m high maintenance and can’t do dates like this. We haven’t been able to schedule anything apart from that, do I just block him?
Texted Vincent Vega to arrange a date next week (we are both busy this weekend) and he said he would reply later in the day. It’s been like 9 hours and nada. I know he might be busy at work, running errands or drinking with friends, but I’m still sitting here overthinking every single word he said to me. What a way to spend my Friday evening.
I’m 99% sure I’m off the apps for good if nothing works out with my current matches. Dating is just so draining and probably not worth a couple of good kisses.
Aww that’s exciting! Sounds like he is into you so please try not too worry too much or you will drive yourself crazyMost men are weird and can’t communicate properly, so there is no point in trying to decipher their actions. Just try to take things slow and enjoy these early days!
I had a message from a guy I matched with at 2pm. His first message to me was (verbatim!) 'that's a face I would love to wake up to every morning, I say we skip the small talk and go on a date tonightI’m talking to guy who just keeps on inviting me out when I’m least expecting it — we can be talking about politics and he just goes like ‘I’m at XYZ, come join me?’That’s exactly why we haven’t met yet, I’m high maintenance and can’t do dates like this. We haven’t been able to schedule anything apart from that, do I just block him?
Texted Vincent Vega to arrange a date next week (we are both busy this weekend) and he said he would reply later in the day. It’s been like 9 hours and nada. I know he might be busy at work, running errands or drinking with friends, but I’m still sitting here overthinking every single word he said to me. What a way to spend my Friday evening.
I’m 99% sure I’m off the apps for good if nothing works out with my current matches. Dating is just so draining and probably not worth a couple of good kisses.
Aww that’s exciting! Sounds like he is into you so please try not too worry too much or you will drive yourself crazyMost men are weird and can’t communicate properly, so there is no point in trying to decipher their actions. Just try to take things slow and enjoy these early days!
Cranberry juice sis! Get well soonI'm going to get antibiotics now but if anyone has any tips for getting rid of a UTI please let me know...
Call me difficult, but I find it a bit insulting to just presume the other person has nothing to do and they’re available at your beck and call? At least in the context of dating/seeing each other, it just says, I knew you wouldn’t have other plans bc you’re waiting on me to communicate, so you’ll jump at the chance when I offer a crumb to you.I’m talking to guy who just keeps on inviting me out when I’m least expecting it — we can be talking about politics and he just goes like ‘I’m at XYZ, come join me?’That’s exactly why we haven’t met yet, I’m high maintenance and can’t do dates like this. We haven’t been able to schedule anything apart from that, do I just block him?
Drink water but not too much water so you’re in unbearable pain, will flush it out. The sugar in cranberry juice can actually feed the infection and make it worse, it’s a bit of a misnomer, so avoid!'m going to get antibiotics now but if anyone has any tips for getting rid of a UTI please let me know...
Ahem, pee in a warm bath or under the shower nozzle. Hopefully you get antibiotic x@Agent Cooper yesI'm gonna try to relax a bit even if we text less this weekend, he said he's busy... and we have next Friday to look forward to so.
Did your guy ever respond about the next date?
@Sunflower16 He does seem keen at the moment yeah, and even if anything changes he does seem like an honest guy so will just see.
I'm glad to hear your 2nd date went well
I actually just remembered before me and this guy had sex I literally said to him I tend to get attached easily after sex, does that scare you and he said no
Anyway I've woken up with a sore throat AND a fucking UTI today so I'm actually glad I didn't choose Sunday to meet again I'd probably have to cancel. I'm going to get antibiotics now but if anyone has any tips for getting rid of a UTI please let me know...
Oh no you poor thing@Agent Cooper yesI'm gonna try to relax a bit even if we text less this weekend, he said he's busy... and we have next Friday to look forward to so.
Did your guy ever respond about the next date?
@Sunflower16 He does seem keen at the moment yeah, and even if anything changes he does seem like an honest guy so will just see.
I'm glad to hear your 2nd date went well
I actually just remembered before me and this guy had sex I literally said to him I tend to get attached easily after sex, does that scare you and he said no
Anyway I've woken up with a sore throat AND a fucking UTI today so I'm actually glad I didn't choose Sunday to meet again I'd probably have to cancel. I'm going to get antibiotics now but if anyone has any tips for getting rid of a UTI please let me know...
I'm not a therapist obviously but I genuinely don't think you're doing anything wrong by what you've told us here anyway. Its at least something that VV was honest with you anyway. If your therapist gives you any advice please feel free to shareThank you @IGiveUp22 @Sunflower16 @MsCurly @shadowcat5I told him exactly that and he’s disappeared, gonna block him if we do not manage to arrange on my terms in the next couple of days.
Apparently Vincent Vega is more into FWB than I thought…He agreed to go out with me but said he was not emotionally or financially ready to date seriouslyI am not sure I am ready either and I appreciate his honesty, but he is just making things more difficult than they already are. As I’ve said, no more Tinder for me until I sort myself out properly — gonna ask my therapist what I’m doing wrong and how to fix that. I want to focus on myself and my happiness first.
Cranberry juice sis! Get well soon
Completely agree! Also never knew that about cranberry juice!Call me difficult, but I find it a bit insulting to just presume the other person has nothing to do and they’re available at your beck and call? At least in the context of dating/seeing each other, it just says, I knew you wouldn’t have other plans bc you’re waiting on me to communicate, so you’ll jump at the chance when I offer a crumb to you.
This is what men fuck up with friends with benefits/casual sex, they don’t understand that you still have to communicate and plan to get meet ups sorted, vague plans and spur of the moment ones don’t work.
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Drink water but not too much water so you’re in unbearable pain, will flush it out. The sugar in cranberry juice can actually feed the infection and make it worse, it’s a bit of a misnomer, so avoid!
Absolutely not being sensitive there, that's just plain rude! And the smoking thing too, I'm an occasional smoker (I know, I know!) And I don't even smoke indoors in my house. Good on you not accepting that crapMy second date in Thursday he done an impression of me, mocking me and sexist. I was really shocked as I was expecting more form him. I have thought back on the conversation often. I do not feel I'm being overly sensitive. He smokes indoors and I said if I come round could he not smoke in same room as me. I don't think this went down well.
Anyways ,first date soon so let's see how this go.
So glad I'm much wiser now and don't need to put up with shite from.men. Which I would accepted in the past.
That's a winner!Dating 31: More ghosts than a cemetery
ohhh i'm glad to hear that@triesherbest I've had a lovely afternoon. We are going to meet up in the week and go for a drink. I need to tell the other man that I won't see him anymore. I have a feeling he could get nasty. I hope I'm wrong. I hope your feel better soon.
Exactly this! I hate it when they can’t make an effort at such an early stage, it means it’s only going to get worse moving forward…I am going out tonight so might suggest meeting up but they will be it. He is cute but nothing outstanding and I usually don’t like this kind of attitude.Call me difficult, but I find it a bit insulting to just presume the other person has nothing to do and they’re available at your beck and call? At least in the context of dating/seeing each other, it just says, I knew you wouldn’t have other plans bc you’re waiting on me to communicate, so you’ll jump at the chance when I offer a crumb to you.
This is what men fuck up with friends with benefits/casual sex, they don’t understand that you still have to communicate and plan to get meet ups sorted, vague plans and spur of the moment ones don’t work.
Oh I definitely appreciate his honesty too…I just felt so comfortable and safe with him, it’s rare that I do so I don’t even know what my next step should be. He said he is not emotionally mature enough for a healthy relationship, and frankly, that’s the way I feel too — we are both clinically depressed and quite damaged so lots in common. I think I’m just gonna take things slow and consult my therapist — will be sharing his advice if he says something valuable!I'm not a therapist obviously but I genuinely don't think you're doing anything wrong by what you've told us here anyway. Its at least something that VV was honest with you anyway. If your therapist gives you any advice please feel free to share
Oh goodness that’s disgusting! Definitely don’t let him get away with talking to you like that, what a POS!My second date in Thursday he done an impression of me, mocking me and sexist. I was really shocked as I was expecting more form him. I have thought back on the conversation often. I do not feel I'm being overly sensitive. He smokes indoors and I said if I come round could he not smoke in same room as me. I don't think this went down well.
Anyways ,first date soon so let's see how this go.
So glad I'm much wiser now and don't need to put up with shite from.men. Which I would accepted in the past.
I am, however, glad to hear you had a great time at your time! Feel free to share the details if you want to and stay safe re: the nasty guy@triesherbest I've had a lovely afternoon. We are going to meet up in the week and go for a drink. I need to tell the other man that I won't see him anymore. I have a feeling he could get nasty. I hope I'm wrong. I hope your feel better soon.
https://giphy.com/6bCqBl45PAQSqWmShsHad a date last night with my neighbour who I'd posted about before and it was actually loads of fun.
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