Dating after lockdown #16 it's slim pickings isn’t it ladies?

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

I ignored ‘let’s go for a walk’ guy. Now he’s suddenly decided to ask me if I want to go to a nice bar.

What this suggests is that he’s trying to do as little as he can get away with which is very unattractive to me so I won’t be going.

Well, if it is any consolation, mine changed his mind when I asked whether he could invite me for a coffee that I would be paying for myself so we could finally meet IRL. So either he did not even want to pay for his own drink or he was ashamed/not interested in being seen with me, which is beyond weird considering how many times he told me how funny, smart and hot I was and how much I looked like Victoria from the band Maneskin who he has a celeb crush on.

I will repeat this again, 90% of men are twats. You did the right thing Dollenganger x

 

[radoxdetox]

Been talking to a guy off bumble for 2 days, he asked me out on a date so I was like sure when?
He said tonight!! So i said I will go but obviously seeing it does actually happen but I need to arrange childcare but I'll leave till later as they normally ghost me just before or cancel.
Also Dean gaffeny said im very paranoid and do I want to meet him for a date I told him I can't this weekend as I'm fighting crime and they need me.

Something about last minute dates makes me feel uncomfortable, might just be spontaneous but also why can’t he give you a couple of days to plan?! Or maybe I am just boring

 

[Delihla]

Something about last minute dates makes me feel uncomfortable, might just be spontaneous but also why can he give you a couple of days to plan?! Or maybe I am just boring

I don’t go on last minute dates. I generally have plans anyway but I think it sends out the wrong message about how available/keen you are.

 

[Bagpuss7]

Something about last minute dates makes me feel uncomfortable, might just be spontaneous but also why can he give you a couple of days to plan?! Or maybe I am just boring

I'm all for being spontaneous but he knows you have children I'm assuming ? Also have you phone chatted or facetimed him or is that not something you do ?

 

[Sandor]

I don’t go on last minute dates. I generally have plans anyway but I think it sends out the wrong message about how available/keen you are.

I agree. I like the ‘what kind of people have you been seeing that can do such short notice!’ response. Then you can suggest a different day…

I think spontaneity is for a few dates in where you know each other better and can be like ‘hey, I’m going into town, want to grab a coffee?’

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

but I think it sends out the wrong message about how available/keen you are.

I am sure it does not apply to you @Losa53, but there is some truth in that.

 

[radoxdetox]

I am sure it does not apply to you @Losa53, but there is some truth in that.

Also I think if you’re really excited to meet someone and you want to take the chance that can sometimes make you feel like you have to meet them then and there, which is understandable.

 

[LaBlonde]

I don’t go on last minute dates. I generally have plans anyway but I think it sends out the wrong message about how available/keen you are.

same! both from the point you’ve mentioned and it sort of bugs me from their side too - it both implies that they think i literally have nothing else on and is super causal about making plans (like it’s different from setting up a date a few days away, it’s just a “well we’ll meet tonight then”). not a fan

 

[Delihla]

I am sure it does not apply to you @Losa53, but there is some truth in that.

Sorry sorry I should have worded this differently. How “keen/available I am” is what I meant

 

[LaBlonde]

Something about last minute dates makes me feel uncomfortable, might just be spontaneous but also why can’t he give you a couple of days to plan?! Or maybe I am just boring

i guess that makes me boring too like @Sandor said, that’s for way further down the line imo. i prefer more plans or effort for a first meet-up.

 

[radoxdetox]

i guess that makes me boring too like @Sandor said, that’s for way further down the line imo. i prefer more plans or effort for a first meet-up.

It’s not just me then (and disclaimer we aren’t boring) also I like to mentally prepare for a date too, not just outfit etc lol

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

Sorry sorry I should have worded this differently. How “keen/available I am” is what I meant

Oh I did not mean you were targeting Losa, just clarifying x

 

[Losa53]

Yea he knows I have children but he said he work around me so I was like im free whenever haha
He lives 5 minutes from me so we were gonna go pub for a drink. I dont tend to facetime but we've chatted quite a bit today and he hasn't said anything sexual just been genuinely interested. I have met guys spontaneously before and it's been a good date and sometimes you can chat for ages and waste so much time and not have a connection. I'm on annual leave atm so I won't be as available once I'm back on shift. I mean if this doesn't work out there always Dean gaffeny

 

[Vegasbaby33]

Been talking to a guy off bumble for 2 days, he asked me out on a date so I was like sure when?
He said tonight!! So i said I will go but obviously seeing it does actually happen but I need to arrange childcare but I'll leave till later as they normally ghost me just before or cancel.
Also Dean gaffeny said im very paranoid and do I want to meet him for a date I told him I can't this weekend as I'm fighting crime and they need me.

I swear we're talking to the same guys on Bumble...not in Wantage is he Word for word that's what Gaffers said to me.. maybe he just copy & pastes. Does he take his hat off to you too for the job you do?

 

[TillyMiffin]

i think you meant to reply to @TillyMiffin but i completely agree!

if a guy suddenly overhauled his entire life following an interaction with me i would be incredibly freaked out: it’s a very bad sign imo. combined also with the previous situation with his ex i’m not sure if i’d even entertain the idea

Yeah I’m not optimistic or even that enthusiastic tbh, but we get on ok so I will meet him for another drink. Don’t want to be off with him as we see each other out quite a bit and have the same circle of friends x

A drink won't hurt I guess but I would still be massively wary. It maybe that once he's escaped the chains of his last relationship he will enjoy his new freedom and you could be a casualty of that.

I also have issues with men that are selective with the truth but I'm puzzled though, you say you have the same circle of friends? So how were you unaware he was engaged and living with someone when you made the decision to go on a date with him ? Just editing to reword...you knew he was living with someone but you still went on a date with him ? He wasn't available romantically in November basically so what were you hoping to happen? What are you hoping to happen when you have a drink with him on Sunday ? He sounds very unavailable to me.

I knew he lived with someone but I didn’t know they’d been engaged. He was definitely ‘single’ when I gave him my number back in November, I did ask a couple of people we both know, the consensus was he proposed in the first few months of the relationship but it never got as far as planning a wedding etc.
Him and his ex were sharing a house, he’d moved in two years ago at the start of lockdown, he’d been looking for a flat for a while when we went on our date a few weeks ago.
I wouldn’t have gone for a drink with him if he was still romantically involved with his ex.

 

[Vegasbaby33]

I'm on the fence with going on a date soon after meeting online- on the one hand I like to get to know them to know if I'd want a date, on the other hand I've then wasted loads of time just having mundane boring chat. I hate the whole online dating tbh..non single people say 'oh it must be fun'...yeah if you find meeting endless unavailable dicks fun!

 

[TillyMiffin]

Yeah I’m not optimistic or even that enthusiastic tbh, but we get on ok so I will meet him for another drink. Don’t want to be off with him as we see each other out quite a bit and have the same circle of friends x

I knew he lived with someone but I didn’t know they’d been engaged. He was definitely ‘single’ when I gave him my number back in November, I did ask a couple of people we both know, the consensus was he proposed in the first few months of the relationship but it never got as far as planning a wedding etc.
Him and his ex were sharing a house, he’d moved in two years ago at the start of lockdown, he’d been looking for a flat for a while when we went on our date a few weeks ago.
I wouldn’t have gone for a drink with him if he was still romantically involved with his ex.

Sorry I knew he lived with his ex back in November. I met him at a mutual friends birthday ‘do’, but I also did a bit of digging around to confirm he was single, and didn’t go on a date until a couple of weeks ago

 

[Losa53]

I swear we're talking to the same guys on Bumble...not in Wantage is he Word for word that's what Gaffers said to me.. maybe he just copy & pastes. Does he take his hat off to you too for the job you do?

Bedfordshire haha
Gaffers said when the last time I had a date.
I told him about toxic cheating on me
He replied is he mad with those DD he can't even seen my chest size...I replied lol and he said what's wrong with my answer....I said that's all you focus on no wonder you're still single at 43

 

[LaBlonde]

Bedfordshire haha
Gaffers said when the last time I had a date.
I told him about toxic cheating on me
He replied is he mad with those DD he can't even seen my chest size...I replied lol and he said what's wrong with my answer....I said that's all you focus on no wonder you're still single at 43

ouch

 

[Losa53]

I'm on the fence with going on a date soon after meeting online- on the one hand I like to get to know them to know if I'd want a date, on the other hand I've then wasted loads of time just having mundane boring chat. I hate the whole online dating tbh..non single people say 'oh it must be fun'...yeah if you find meeting endless unavailable dicks fun!

That's what I hate the endless chat for it to mount to nothing soon as you mention meeting up.

I haven't mentioned the date today so will see if he brings it up and I'll act like I've forgotten about it lol

ouch

He mentioned my bra size in nearly every message lol there more to me then that...I hope